Chapter 16
Adalyn
Ian opened a massive red, metal door and I kid you not, it was like walking into Willy Wonka’s factory. Only it was toys, not candy. Ian started to talk, but I had already taken off running.
“Oh my gosh, it’s one of those giant floor pianos like in the movie ‘Big’! I’ve always wanted to see one of these ever since I saw that movie. It was my favorite when I was a kid. I love Tom Hanks. Can I try it out?” I knew I was rambling and acting foolish, but Ian was laughing and his amused look relaxed me entirely.
“Of course you can try it. It’s an exact replica of the one in the movie,” he answered, crossing over to push some sort of power button. I didn’t waste any time. I was dancing all over that piano like a crazy person.
“So what is this place?” I yelled over the noise I was causing. When I couldn’t hear his answer, I stopped bouncing around and walked over to him. He was leaning against the wall with his legs crossed at the ankles and his hands shoved into the pockets of his pants. “Are you going to make me play by myself, or are you going to join me?” I teased.
Ian shook his head and laughed, but started pulling off his jacket. He kicked off his expensive dress shoes, tossed his jacket and tie to the ground and started to unbutton his white dress shirt. I felt my breath hitch at the site of him undressing, and all I could think was that I wanted him to keep going. To remove everything. The thought of seeing Ian naked made my stomach flutter and I felt my cheeks flush.
As he undid the last button and shrugged off his dress shirt, I couldn’t help the giggle that escaped my lips. “Oh my gosh…what is on your t-shirt? Are you wearing a Superman t-shirt?”
He glanced down, looking almost embarrassed, tugging on the hem of his t-shirt. “Yeah, I mean, you know…” He trailed off, and I playfully punched his arm, not even trying to hide the huge grin on my face.
“Ian Drake, are you a closet nerd?” I teased, laughing when a blush colored his cheeks. “Wow…I can’t believe how wrong I was about you.”
His face fell and the sadness that overtook it threw me. “I’m sorry, Ian. I owe you an apology. All the things I assumed about you at first are obviously wrong. Way wrong. I shouldn’t have made a snap judgment.”
“I understand,” he cleared his throat, seeming to struggle to make eye contact with me. Was he really that mad at me? I was trying to apologize. “Well, thank you for coming in. I assume you can find your way out,” he said as he turned to walk out.
I grabbed his arm, stopping him and his head jerked around, his eyes staring at my hand on his arm. I quickly pulled away and started fidgeting with my hands. My nervous tick. He was laughing and smiling a minute ago. What caused this sudden shift in his mood?
“Wait…what? Did I do something wrong? I mean…we didn’t even discuss the job. I really am sorry I misjudged you, Ian. I…I would like an opportunity to see if I might be a good fit here. If…if you can forgive me.” The pleading in my voice was obvious. I needed this job. I wanted this job. I didn’t even know what the job was but I knew I wanted it.
“You…you still want to do the interview? You want to work here?” He asked me in disbelief.
“Well, yeah, I mean, this place is awesome. I don’t think I’d ever want to leave. Would the job require me to live here? Because I’d be okay with that.”
He raised one eyebrow, looking at me quizzically. “Are you being serious right now?”
He was confusing the crap out of me. I obviously was missing something. His behavior was so off. This insecure and timid version of Ian was strange. I found myself wanting to comfort him, to ease whatever it was that was making him feel so unsure. He had no reason to feel anything but confident. He was gorgeous and owned a very successful company that also happened to be the coolest place to work on the planet. What had him so out of sorts?
I placed my hand on his arm again. He looked down, staring at the contact again, but I didn’t pull away that time.
“Of course I’m serious, Ian. This place,” I gestured around me, “this place is amazing. I still don’t even understand what it is you do exactly and I don’t know what my job would even be, but I know it has to be great if it’s at a place like this. Hell, I’ll scrub the toilets if you’ll let me come in here and play all day. It’s cool if you don’t have a place for me to sleep, I’ll just build a fort,” I winked at him, and his whole body relaxed as he let out a long breath. He’d been holding his breath?
“I can tell something is going on, though, Ian. What am I missing? Why would you not believe I would want to work here?”
He stood there for a long time, looking over my shoulder at nothing. I waited patiently, trying to figure out why pain etched his face all of a sudden. I fought the urge to reach up and rub my fingertips across his furrowed brow and down to his jaw, cupping his face in my hand. He was so beautiful; it was painful not to touch him.
Shaking his head, he snapped out of whatever daze he had drifted into. “I’m sorry, it’s not important. I just have a lot on my mind.”
“Um, yeah, I’m so not letting you get away with that answer. You’ve really gone out of your way the last few days to try and force yourself into my life, no matter how much I protested. If I’m going to work here and if we are going to be friends, then I need you to be honest with me.”
His expression pulled at my heart strings as he stared into my eyes. He looked so vulnerable. Why was this such a difficult question for him? Since I didn’t think pulling him into an embrace would be appropriate, I decided a little sarcasm might do the trick. “What, is this some kind of ruse? Like, you’re some creepy child molester and this is how you get kids into your clutches?”
That earned me a smirk. “No, nothing like that.” He hesitated again, his smile falling just a little. I was starting to get nervous. Dark clouds took over his thoughts, I could see anger rising. It was almost palpable. I instinctively took a step back, putting distance between us. I wasn’t afraid he would hurt me, but I had a feeling whatever was about to happen would require me to keep it together. And when I was so close to Ian, drowning in his scent, warmed by his body, I couldn’t think straight.
“Adalyn, I may not be the man you think I am.” Okay… he’s really not making me feel any better about standing here so close to him. Before I could react, he kept going.
“I don’t know how much you know about me. How much you’ve read in the gossip mags, how much Stacy has told you, whatever rumors you’ve heard. There are few people in my life who truly know me. Even my closest friends only know as much as I let them. Probably the only people in my life who truly know me are Stacy and my sister. I learned early in my career that being successful came with sacrifices. I have to be very private, which is part of why my employees sign a non-disclosure.” He paused, lost in thought again. I wanted to snap my fingers in his face, but I sensed this was a confession of sorts and figured he wouldn’t appreciate me giving him attitude right now.
“There is something about you, Adalyn. I can’t even explain it. I barely know you, but I want to know you. It’s been a long time since I really let someone in, let myself be who I truly am. Being vulnerable is hard for anyone, but it’s especially difficult when you’ve been burned before. I’m not saying I’ve never faced rejection in my life, but it’s been all business for me for a very long time now. The last time I really opened up to someone, it almost broke me.” He pulled away and ran his hands through his hair and turned his back to me.
“Why are you telling me all of this, Ian? You barely know me. I’ve not even really been nice to you. What makes you think I’m worthy of taking a risk on?”
Before I could blink, he turned around to face me again and closed the gap between us. He took my hands in his, our noses almost touching. He was staring right into my eyes, like he was searching. Pleading. Like he could see my soul and was begging me to see his. It was intense and terrifying and… beautiful. Something shifted in me and I wasn’t afraid anymore. I wanted to know this man and whatever secrets he held. I wanted to be the one he could trust not to hurt him, even if I couldn’t trust him. At least, I couldn’t trust him yet.
“I’m telling you this because I know you better than you think, Adalyn. You are fierce and confident and go after what you want, but I see what’s behind what you choose to show the world. You’re unsure, just like me. You’re showing people what you want them to see, not who you really are. There are secrets you keep hidden, too, guarding yourself from pain. But I know how exhausting that is, because I do it too, and I’m tired of keeping it all in. I may not know very much about you, but I already know what matters. I always trust my instincts, and my instincts tell me you are worth the risk.”
For once, I had nothing to say. I could feel hot tears pricking the back of my eyes, but I had no idea why. It’d been a long time since I’d cried, since I had let someone see me that vulnerable. But I was defenseless against this kind of honesty. No one had ever seen through me so easily, even Stacy, who knew everything. I had a good poker face, yet somehow this beautiful man had seen right past all my bullshit and could see how broken I was and he still wanted to know me.
The logical part of my brain tried to remind me that I was at a job interview, not on a date. And I had a feeling whatever he was about to tell me was definitely more personal than any boss should be with his employee. But the pain in his eyes was killing me. Even if it made working here impossible, I couldn’t help myself from reaching out to him. I wanted to take away his sadness.
Despite all the defenses I’d perfected over the years to prevent letting someone in like I was about to, I just couldn’t bring myself to pull away from him now. Not when I could see how desperately he needed a friend. Needed me.