Chapter 19
Ian
After finalizing our plan to meet Monday morning, I walked Adalyn to the elevators. I had to keep reminding myself that this was an interview, not a date. I wanted so badly to pull her to me and kiss her deeply, but not only would that be unprofessional, but I was pretty sure she would slap me.
Still, I had made progress today. Never in a million years could I have imagined her reaction to everything about my work and my past that I had just dumped on her. She didn’t mock me, didn’t look at me like I was a loser. She didn’t even look at me with pity when I told her about Maggie. She looked…understanding. Empathetic. Everything about her softened and it was clear that our relationship was now heading down a different path.
It would be hard remaining professional. I wanted Adalyn so badly. In my life, in my arms, in my bed. But I was a realistic man, and I knew it would take time to get Adalyn to finally see me as someone she could truly be herself with. Hopefully all the hours we would spend together at work would only help our relationship grow. I would just have to be careful not to cross any boundaries at work. I couldn’t undo all the progress we’d made by further complicating things.
As the elevator doors closed, I turned on my heel and rushed back to my office. A lot had to happen before Monday. I needed to speak with the team about the new addition, had to have the lawyers working on the contracts, and I needed to get her a phone.
I couldn’t tell you why in that moment I had told her so many lies. Well, not lies per se. Just not full truths. Not the same. Not really, anyway. Okay, kind of, but what’s done is done.
So, no, not all employees got company phones in their own name. None of them got phones, period. And no, we don’t generally give sign-on bonuses to every new hire. That’s traditionally only given when we are acquiring someone with a unique talent that we desperately need for a project. And no, the starting pay is not sixty thousand. Well, it could be depending on what your position is, but since I had hired her for a non-existent position then the starting salary wasn’t necessarily on par with everyone else’s.
Why had I hired her for a position that didn’t exist and given all these extra perks? I didn’t know. I supposed I should ask my dick. I mean, my heart was definitely involved in the decision, but being near her and seeing that different side of her definitely caused the guy downstairs to start speaking his mind about things.
Yeah, I could be patient and try to win her over without having to bribe her with a job to spend time with me. But she was consuming all my thoughts, I couldn’t concentrate on anything. Maybe having her near me constantly would keep my mind from drifting so much.
Not likely, but worth a shot.
Plus, she really needed a job. It was my nature to help people. It would be the first time I hired an employee for an imaginary job just to help them, but it would work out. Adalyn really was talented. I didn’t know why she hadn’t gone to school for the arts. She was phenomenal, and with a little guidance, she could really flourish and become an exceptional employee. Whatever she needed, I would give her.
Somewhere, the radical part of my brain was freaking out. You don’t build a successful company by making rash decisions over a girl. Even when Maggie was controlling every aspect of my life, she never controlled my work. She had never even been to my “real” office on the top floor. I didn’t want her complaining and constant judgmental remarks bringing down the atmosphere.
Adalyn was different, though. Today was the first day in, I didn’t even know how many years, that I actually felt comfortable truly being myself. I needed that. I needed to be able to feel that way more. And maybe all my motives for helping her sounded selfish, but there probably wasn’t much I wouldn’t do for this girl already. As scary as that was, it was the truth. She had me spellbound, and I didn’t want it any other way.
Carrie came storming into my office early the next day looking pissed. Apparently word had gotten around about Adalyn coming to join us. I knew this would be an issue for her, but she would just have to get over it. I loved my baby sister, but she had a flare for the dramatic.
“What the hell, E!” She was standing right in front of my desk, hands on her hips, struggling for a breath. A light sheen of sweat was forming on her forehead and her hair was falling out of her ponytail. Long story short, she was a hot mess.
“You okay, Sis? You look…disheveled.”
“Screw you, I was working on the choreography for yet another stupid dance game,” she said as she tried to catch her breath. “That’s not the point! You hired Adalyn? Are you freaking kidding me Ian?”
I stood up from my desk and walked around to her, putting my hands on her shoulders. She was over a foot shorter than me, being as I was six foot four and she was five foot three. I had to bend my knees to look her in the eye.
“I know you don’t like Adalyn, but you’re going to have to get over it. There really is no reason for you to dislike her. You’re going to have to figure out one of these days how to deal with people you feel threatened by without lashing out at them.”
She shrugged my arms away from her and took a step back.
“Don’t, Ian. You know why I’m like this, you know I’m working on it. I was just staying away from her and I was dealing, but now I’m going to have to be around her every damn day! And I see the way you look at her. I know you think you feel something for her, but you need to be careful. I have a bad feeling about her and I just don’t want you to get hurt.”
“Carrie, you have nothing to worry about. I know what I’m doing. Adalyn is really talented and she’s going to fit in great here. My personal feelings aside, bringing her on is a good decision. You just need to get to know her. Just give it a chance.”
Carrie crossed her arms and started full on pouting. Temper Tantrum Carrie was the worst. Once she started acting like a toddler there was no reasoning with her. You just had to wait it out.
“Just go, Carrie. I’m not doing this right now. I don’t have to justify my decisions for my business with you. I appreciate you looking out for me, but nothing you say is going to change anything. It’s just going to start an argument and I hate fighting with you. Please, for everyone’s sakes, just find a way to deal.”
“Fine,” she puffed, making a beeline for my door. “But when she screws something up or breaks your heart, I’ll be there to help you pick up the pieces again like with Maggie, but you bet your ass I’ll be saying I told you so.” She started to leave, but stopped mid-stride, not bothering to turn around to face me this time. “Just be careful, E, that’s all I’m asking,” she muttered as she disappeared out of the room.
Carrie had been the one to help me get my sanity back after things went down with Maggie, even despite how much the situation affected her as well. If anything, what happened with Maggie was more detrimental to her than me. But Carrie stood strong and no one understood better than her the exact reasons why what happened with Maggie had caused such a blow to my confidence. I’d been shoved in lockers and had my face forced into toilet bowls growing up, but nothing made me feel like more of a loser than seeing Maggie’s face as she rode some other guy’s cock. I hit an all time low, didn’t get out of bed for a week. I was such a pussy. There wasn’t one insult you can throw at me about how I acted during and after my relationship with Maggie that I hadn’t already said to myself.
It was a wake up call of epic proportions. I was a coward. I’d been hiding behind Maggie’s controlling bitchiness, using it as an excuse to not really put myself out there. I hated Maggie, but I hated myself more. So while I was laying in bed feeling sorry for myself, Carrie was the one packing up Maggie’s shit and throwing it out the window.
Literally. She threw anything Maggie had at my place out of the window of my apartment. Which was on the tenth floor. And it was raining.
The hysterical part of all of that is the bill I got in the mail from Maggie, demanding I pay her to replace all of the items of hers that Carrie ruined. I knew Maggie wouldn’t relent until I gave in to her absurd demand for repayment, so I had intended to just pay her and sever all ties. Carrie had other plans.
As I was picking up the phone to call my banker and have a check issued, Carrie grabbed my phone and informed me she had taken care of it already. Apparently, she had gone to Maggie and told her that the limo had video cameras in it and there was video of her debauchery. I’m fairly certain Maggie had to have known she was lying, but apparently she didn’t want to take the risk.
That was the last time I let my baby sister fight my battles for me. I loved her more than anything, but I’d been living so ass backwards for so long, it was time to man up. It took time and more pep talks with the mirror than I cared to admit, but I finally became someone I could be comfortable with. The only problem was, something was still missing.
I really thought I had overcome all the damage Maggie had inflicted. Although, to be fair, a lot of my self esteem issues started way before her. Being picked on your whole life does that to you. But I had managed to continue to grow my company and had become quite the ‘ladies man’ so to speak. I was no man whore, but I didn’t go long without a companion in the bedroom. I had a few close friends whom I shared a mutual agreement with of the no-strings-attached variety and everything seemed to be perfect.
Until Adalyn. Until I spent the day with her yesterday, having more fun than I’d had in years. In that moment that she placed my face in her hands and looked at me with so much understanding and compassion, that’s when I realized that I was only kidding myself. I was still playing a part. Just pretending. Every time I looked in her eyes it gave me more clarity as to what I needed to do, the reality I needed to face. I was done pretending and I wasn’t going to hide myself or my feelings any longer.
Soon, very soon, Adalyn would see just how great we would be together. And the best part, was I knew once that happened, she would be with me. The real me. And with that thought, I took a deep breath and accepted that my life would never be the same.