I take a deep drink of my scotch, staring down into its amber depths helplessly. This is not a normal state of being for me. I am usually in control in all aspects of my life, from who I date to where I live to what I drive, and I don’t deal well with someone coming in and changing shit up on me. 

Especially not a chick. Granted, Vivian – Kitten – is the sexiest woman I’ve ever laid eyes on and just being in the same room as her makes it hard to breathe. And I have never met a woman who could give head like she can. When she stretches her mouth open wide and looks up at me with those giant brilliant green eyes, I have a hard time saying no.

Yes, green by the way. And not a muted, muddy green mixed with brown. No, her eyes are these sparkling green jewels that make me think of the Irish countryside.

I heave a great sigh and swirl my scotch again.

“What?” Apollo asks, staring at me.

“What?” I repeat, confused.

“You were mumbling something.”

Oh. Whoops. God, now I’m not even in control of my own mouth.

I stare at him, hesitating. I really want advice, but I also really don’t want to admit that I don’t know what the fuck I am doing. I have a reputation to uphold, you know.

But then I finally realize – this is Apollo. I don’t have a “reputation” to uphold with him. If I can’t ask my closest friend for help, who can I ask? And it’s not like I’m figuring this out on my own.

“I am a billionaire,” I say through gritted teeth. “I have enough money that God doesn’t even attempt to keep up. I have women fawning over me, wanting just a moment of my time, hoping I’ll agree to take them back to my apartment for a night of fucking.

“And then, somehow, only God knows how, I ended up with a woman in my apartment who decorates it in pink – pink, pink, everywhere pink! – and demands that I order in the food that she wants to eat each night and watches TV and wears the most amazing lingerie…”

I trail off as I remember the baby doll that Kitten had put on the other night, and then had crawled towards me, her tits swinging freely with each movement of her arms, and my dick…

Then and now, it’d sprung to attention. I shift in my chair, trying to will my cock back into submission. Now is not the time to get a hard-on.

“How did this happen?” I ask miserably. “I don’t know what to do with a virgin. I thought I could train her to be my sex slave but instead all that’s happened is she’s training me to tolerate the color pink. Kind of.”

“It’s all Dark Angel’s fault,” Apollo says seriously.

I stare at him. It’s like my friend has started speaking a variation of English that I just don’t comprehend. “A dark angel came down and bopped her on the head and is making her—”

“No, no. Dark Angel. She’s an author on Amazon. Women love her. They think that all relationships should be like the ones in her books.”

“Hold on, isn’t the ereader for Amazon books a Kindle?” I ask, this conversation triggering a memory for me. When Viv…Kitten isn’t watching some godawful show on TV, she’s reading. A lot. She did ask me the other day why I couldn’t be more like these heroes and I just had no clue what she was talking about. She’d just set her tablet off to the side and I noticed “Kindle” across the back.

“Yup. Does she read constantly?”

“Yeaaahhhhh…”

“Does she sigh happily when she’s done with a novel?”

“Yeaaahhhhh…”

“She’s been bitten by the Kindle bug. She has expectations for you and how you’re supposed to act, and my guess is, based on your hang-dog look, you’re not fulfilling those expectations. When I finally read through Dark Angel’s whole catalog, I knew what Ashley wanted from me. My advice? Go home and open up her Kindle. Is she at home tonight?”

“No, she’s out with some friends.”

“Perfect. Skim through some of her ebooks. All of the answers will be there.”

I push my chair back with a renewed sense of purpose. It is about time I figure Kitten out, and make us both happy.