“What? You guys started the fucking party without me?” I ask, and I can see Carter roll his eyes and Eliza take a breath. She's startled. But her eyes show relief. Like she was expecting me?

Nah. Can't be. Because I didn't even know I'd be here.

I mean, I knew I had to do something.

But then again, I've known I have to do something for quite some time now.

The trick was planning out exactly when.

You're probably wondering what the fuck I'm talking about, aren't you?

Well, don't worry. I'm about to explain to you. Real fucking good.

I can see that the crowd around me is looking at me like what the fuck also. They're all wondering what's going on.

What is this crazy fuck going to do now, huh?

Yeah, I can tell that's exactly what they're thinking the moment photographers start taking snapshots of me.

I don't fucking care.

My eyes turn toward Wanda, who's standing on the sidewalk where it naturally raises in an effort to distinguish herself from the crowd. She's facing the podium that Carter and Eliza are at.

Did I mention her face is very, very, white.

That's because she didn't expect me to be here today. She has no idea what I'm going to do now and it terrifies her because she had all this worked out.

"You had all this worked out, didn't you, Wanda?" I ask, deciding to let the whole crowd hear the things I'm telling you right now. "This was going exactly how you wanted it to, wasn't it?"

"Derek ... you're not supposed to be here. You need to leave ... now," Wanda manages to say, controlling herself.

I give her a smile.

"Or what?" I ask her. "You'll destroy me?"

There's some hushed murmurings from the crowd but I don't give a fuck. In fact, I turn to them and smirk.

"A while back, I was enjoying an intern in my office," I say, as I walk to the podium. I can see Carter sigh as I start my story. Why am I not fucking surprised. I love the guy. Let's be clear about that. And it’s important to note I don’t like having sex with guys. I fucking love women. But Carter…is different. Something about him drives me fucking crazy. But I can't seem to understand why I can't stop wanting to be near him. Fuck.

Anyways, where was I? Oh yeah.

"Her name was Mandy, or Mindy, or something I don't remember. And I was fucking her in my office. But I didn't realize that she was working for my ex-wife," I say to the consternation of the reporters and photographers. I see the television news cameras come on. This shit is now good enough for prime time. I can see it now. 'Wall Street Elite Scuffle In Public Over Inheritance Fortune' they'll say over at Good Day USA. Then they'll scoff at how fucking stupid these silly rich people are and what the fuck are they fighting about. These aren't even first world problems.

What they won't understand is if we let Wanda get ahold of Eliza's father's money then the good that it was marked for—the charities and the foundations and the hospitals that the money would have been distributed to as part of the estate management would all be gone. Poof. Disappeared. Wanda would be taking everything and using it on herself.

"I think you need to stop before you say something you regret, Derek," Wanda says through clenched teeth but still loud enough that I'm able to hear her.

"Or what, Wanda?" I ask, and look at her. I'm now at the podium and standing next to Eliza and Carter. Eliza is looking at me with her mouth open and Carter is trying to understand whether he want's to help me or hit me. I'd probably go with the latter.

"Derek, I'm warning you," Wanda threatens.

"Or what? You'll tell the world that I sexually assaulted Mandy in my office? Then because you're paying her you'll get her to testify in court against me?" I ask.

Wanda shuts up, not realizing that I could bring this up. But I press on, even though people are starting to talk with concern at what I'm saying.

"Because folks, that's exactly what happened. Just as Eliza was about to come back to America, Wanda bursts into my office as I have my cock inside Mandy. I didn't even know Eliza was coming back to the country but Wanda showed me that Mandy was a setup and that if I wanted to stay outta jail, I better fucking do what she wanted me to do," I begin and reporters start scrambling to get everything I'm saying. Photographers start clicking their cameras. "She tells me the only way I can do this is by convincing Eliza to start investing in Red Lion Aviation. That's the only way I can redeem myself and save my own skin. Otherwise she's going to the police with a statement already prepared by my intern that I assaulted her. How's that for good planning?"

Eliza gasps next to me. I turn to her.

She's not sure whether to look at me with betrayal or what. The emotions going through her face are classic range of grief.

But baby girl needs to realize there's no need to be sad. Daddy's here.

"Don't worry, Eliza, I was never going to betray you anyways," I say to her. And then I look at Carter. "And I was never going to let your company go under. I know that we've had our differences and haven't gotten along. But I always knew there was something special about you, you fucking asshole."

Carter laughs at that and some of the reporters are laughing along with us. But I'm not done yet.

I turn back to Wanda.

"So the whole trick was getting Wanda to this point. If she thought that she won, she'd come out and reveal her hand. And her goal all this time wasn't to just embezzle some money through this investment, but to take control of the entire family estate. I can understand that now but I can't understand how someone could do something so low just for money," I say to the crowd. "Even when we're talking about the vast sums of money that the Seymour estate has, it's still pretty low for a fucking human being."

Wanda seems to get the last bit of gumption or courage and takes a step forward.

"You think you're so tough, coming up here and saying these things about me that you know aren't true," Wanda says and I can see her convince herself the only way to get out of this now is to lie. And she has to lie through her fucking teeth. "You know you were the one who probably convinced Eliza to steal the money. And you announced it and got in front of the cameras to throw them under the bus when I found out."

“But you announced yourself what they made you do,” Wanda sneers. “And not that you’re a saint. Your squalid and filthy little whore of a stepdaughter and Carter are just a lot of morally bankrupt people.”

I shake my head. “And you Wanda? Blackmailing us? And then trying to put out leaks to get us destroyed in the court of public opinion? What do you call that?” I shoot back.

It's like watching a tennis game. Or a ping pong match.

"You're trying to have your cake and eat it too and I'm not going to let you, because you're part of the problem," Wanda yells. "You're trying to steal the money that Eliza's father asked her to manage."

I smile.

"No Wanda," I say. "You're lying."

"Prove it," Wanda says to me with a snarl. Then she looks over to the reporters. "Who are you going to believe? Him or me? He's right. His intern did come to me and tell me he sexually assaulted her. I do have her testimony. So either Derek Stackford is trying to protect himself from that. Or he's trying to do something else, but he has absolutely no proof that things happened the way he says they did. He has no proof I was even in his office."

And this is where I smile.

Broadly.

"Actually, Wanda," I say and relish the moment as I pause and let people turn to me. Moment of fucking glory. "I got a tape."

There's a hush that goes through the crowd.

"I had to see how far you'd take it, but I have a tape of the whole thing from my office," I say.

Wanda sputters.

"I record the sessions with the interns because you know, you might want to watch and jerk off to something later," I say and the crowd actually laughs. Including Carter. "But I don't need them anymore because I finally found two people I love."

I mean it. No more need for an endless supply of interns. I have the two people I fucking love right next to me.

"But that tape has Mandy moaning my name. It has you coming in. Threatening me. Telling me what to do. And it's right here," I say, pulling out a small compact blu-ray disc out of my pocket.

Wanda's face falls. Literally, her body crumples. Not a sound comes out and I see, for the first time, realization sinks in that she's well and truly fucked.

"Who wants it?" I ask the crowd.

With a collective roar, each person signifies they want to see it.

"Plenty to go around," I yell and take out an envelope full of discs. "Everything is corroborated there, and I think the NYPD will probably want a copy too."

If you can imagine a collective mass of humanity trying to reach over and grab something as if their lives depended on it, then that's exactly what happens.

Wanda has shrunk, literally.

Defeated. Destroyed.

I turn to Carter.

"Listen, Carter, I want you to know that I always knew there was a reason why it was so easy to hate you," I say and he looks at me. I gulp. "Because I loved you too."

He nods. "I love you Derek. I can't explain it," he says and I nod.

But no more words are needed. Carter leans forward and I meet his face and in the next moment he's kissing me. A deep, probing kiss.

When he disengages, I turn to Eliza.

She's smiling.

"Wanna get out here?" she asks us.

I look to the crowd, shouting questions to a cowering Wanda who's crying as they try to get the tapes and play them. My work here is done and I nod to Eliza.

It's time to get the fuck out.

And on with the first day of the rest of our lives.