It takes the private detective I hired less than a day to find Troy’s mother. All he needed was his mom’s first and last name and date of birth, plus Troy’s own date of birth. Jackie Butler lives only a hundred miles away from Troy, just northeast of San Diego. I don’t know how Troy will take this news. What’s worse is that she is indeed remarried and has new kids. Other kids, whatever the politically correct term is.

I’m happy that the PI actually calls me at work, so I have a little time to consider how I want to bring this up to Troy. There’s no way I’m doing this over the phone. This is something he has to hear in person.

We agree to meet over Chinese takeout at my place, and when he rings the bell, I drag him inside for a thorough kiss. He barely manages to put down the food he picked up before my mouth is on his, and we spent a few minutes enjoying each other’s taste, right there in the hallway.

“Hi,” I say somewhat stupidly when I’ve finally had my fill.

“Hi,” he says and sends me a goofy smile. I guess our new relationship status takes some getting used to for both of us.

He puts the food on the table while I grab plates, silverware, and sodas. There’s an easy familiarity in this process that makes me feel warm inside. I can see us doing things like this together for...for a long while. Maybe forever?

I smile. I’d better not tell Troy that. Might just give him a heart attack. He’s come far, my banana boy, but words like forever are bound to send him into a hissy fit.

“How was work?” he asks after we’re seated at the table, enjoying the delicious orange chicken.

“Good. We had interviews with five guys for possible new hires. Three were good fits, and I think they’ll be great additions.”

Troy grins. “You need three guys to replace you?”

“Dude, you know it,” I laugh. Then my face gets serious. “Babe, the PI called.”

Troy’s hand stops halfway to his mouth, and he’s frozen for a second or two, before putting his hand down. His eyes meet mine, and I know he doesn’t have words. “He found your mom. She’s alive and doing well, he says. She works as a full-time waitress at a diner.”

He swallows. “Is she...healthy? I don’t remember much of my parents, but I think they were drug addicts. I remember needles, somehow.”

That little sliver of information makes me want to hug him and never let go. “Yeah, she is, as far as he could tell. She has a steady job, and…” I hesitate. How do I put this? I don’t want him to get hurt. “She has a family, babe. A new husband and two girls, eight and six years old. She’s doing well, it seems.”

“He saw her?” Troy asks, speaking slowly.

“Yeah. She’s close to San Diego.”

“I have sisters?”

I nod. “Yeah. two. Half-sisters, though. She remarried.”

“Did she divorce my father?”

And now comes the truly heartbreaking part. “No, babe. Your father passed away, years ago.”

He swallows again, and his hands clench into fists. “Does he know the cause of death?”

“Drug overdose. He was found dead in a known drug house, according to the PI. No one claimed the body, so he was cremated by the city.”

“Oh.”

I wait for him to say more, but his eyes glaze over. I don’t know if he’s thinking and needs time or if he’s unable to process. I wish I knew what to do. I want to make him feel better, somehow, but I have no idea how.

“Did I ever tell you about Elise?” Troy says suddenly.

I’m pretty sure it’s a rhetorical question since we both know he’s told me shit, but I answer him anyway. “No. Who was she?”

I have no idea what he’s gonna say, but when he speaks, it’s not the answer I was expecting. “She was the only mother I ever had.”

This time, I know I’m not supposed to say anything, so I listen as he shares a heartbreaking tale of finding parental love, only to lose it just as quickly.

“After she died, I had two more foster families, and after that, it was group homes all the way till I aged out of the system. Nobody wanted me anymore. I was too old and had too much of a reputation for being difficult. Elise, she was the only one who ever loved me unconditionally.”

I wipe away the tears on my cheeks, not embarrassed in the least that he sees how much his pain affects me. “And me,” I add softly.

“And you,” he repeats. He breathes in deeply, then exhales slowly. “Do you think she’d want to see me, my birth mother?”

“The question is do you want to see her. Do you want to hear from her what happened, why she gave you up?”

“What if she rejects me all over again?”

I want to reassure him that that’s not gonna happen, but I can’t. There are some seriously fucked up people in this world, and I have no idea if his mother is one of them. She already abandoned her son once. Who the fuck knows if she’ll do it again?

“If she does, then at least you’ll know. You’ll never have to wonder ‘what if’ again. And no matter what happens, I’ll be here.”

He lifts those stunning golden eyes up to meet mine. “I know. I know you’ll be there. It’s scary as fuck, all of this, but let’s do this. I wanna meet my mother.”

* * *

The PI gave me a phone number, but Troy and I decide not to call her. He wants to just drive down and sort of confront her, and I’m on board with that. We have her home address and the diner where she works, and so a few days later, on a bright and sunny Saturday, we make the trip south.

Troy doesn’t say much while I drive, but he does reach out every now and then to put his hand on my leg, so I know he’s just trying to process it all. I get it. It’s not every day you get to meet the woman who left you at a police station when you were six years old.

I’ve honestly tried to imagine myself in his shoes, but I can’t. I can’t even fathom my parents doing anything like that. God, they’re crazy at times, but they love me with all they have—Marley, too. Until I met Troy, I never fully appreciated that, I think.

“Wanna try the diner first?” I ask Troy when we get close.

He nods. “Yeah. Seems safer than showing up at her house unannounced, especially with my...my sisters. They’re young, and I don’t want them to have to witness it if it goes badly.”

He’s such a softie underneath that cool, prickly exterior. “Okay, babe.”

Ten minutes later, we pull up in the parking lot of an old-fashioned diner. It’s just after two, so we’ve missed the lunch rush, and it looks like it’s relatively quiet. We don’t even know if she’s working, but there’s only one way to find out.

“You ready?” I ask.

“God, no, but let’s go,” Troy says, his face pale.

I wanna grab his hand as we walk to the entrance, but I hold back. He’s always been reluctant with PDAs, and maybe he doesn’t want the first thing his mother sees is that he’s gay. For all we know, she could be a homophobic bitch. But right before I open the door, he reaches for my hand and laces his fingers through mine. I press a quick kiss to his cheek. “I’m here, no matter what.”

“I know,” he says, and his eyes show me that he means it. It fills me with joy that he’s starting to believe I mean it when I say I love him.

Hand in hand, we walk inside where a young blonde approaches us right away. “Hi,” she says with a friendly smile. “For two?”

I look at Troy, but his eyes are darting through the diner.

“We were wondering if Jackie is working?” I ask.

Blondie looks at us quizzically for a second but then nods. “Yeah. Hold on a sec, and I’ll get her for you.”

Troy’s grip on my hand becomes rather painful, but I don’t say a word. A few bruises seem like a small price to pay for being there for him.

Half a minute later, a forty-something woman walks toward us. Her face is friendly and open, but with deep and tired lines that show a hard life. She has dark blonde hair, tied back into a neat ponytail, and her pale blue uniform hangs loose around her slender frame. As soon as I see her eyes, I know who she is, because it’s like looking at Troy’s.

“Hi,” she says with a friendly smile, looking at me first. “Dani said you were looking for me?”

Her eyes travel to Troy, and she freezes. She’s maybe twenty feet away from us still, but she halts on the spot.

“Oh my god,” she whispers.

It takes a her a few seconds to take three faltering steps in our direction, and all that time, Troy doesn’t say a word. He merely stares at her, the same way she’s staring at him.

Tears fill her eyes, those same golden eyes I love so much. Her voice breaks when she speaks.

“Troy?”