Chapter 3
Mia
“Josie!” I shriek as I run to her. I throw my arms around her and hug her tight. “I’ve missed you so much.”
Josie hugs me back, and for a moment we just stand in the middle of the airport holding each other. Damn, it’s good to see her again.
When I pull back, I say, “You have no idea how glad I am that you’re finally here.”
She grins happily at me and adjusts her bag over her shoulder.
I reach for the bag and slip it onto my right shoulder. The terminal is bustling with people so I wait until we’re outside, before I say, “I found a decent place for us to rent. We can only move in on Saturday though. We’ll have to share the bedroom I’m currently renting for the next two days. Will you be okay with that?”
“Of course,” she exclaims. “As long as we’re together.”
When we get back to the apartment, I fix us each a sandwich, which we eat in the bedroom.
“Have you heard from your brother?” she asks, after telling me about her graduation ceremony.
I swallow hard on the last bite, taking a sip of water to help wash it down.
“No.” Every time she asks if I’ve heard from any of them, I my heart shrink. I know she means well, but I wish she’d stop asking. Wanting to change the subject, I ask, “When is your interview with Abstract Art & Design?”
“Thankfully, it’s in two weeks. I need a break after all the drama my parents gave me.”
My eye brows shoot skyward. It’s the first I’m hearing of this. “Are they upset that you moved to New York?”
She sighs heavily, and shoving her plate away, she falls back on the bed.
“You’d swear they don’t trust me. Hell, it’s not like I can’t look after myself, you know.” She rolls her eyes. “Daddy kept harping that it’s too far away from them. He wants me in LA.”
Suddenly, she darts back up, an angry look darkening her face. “He even threatened me! If I don’t find a job in the next two months he’ll cut my allowance in half. As if! I’ll fucking do what I want. Watch me. I fucking dare them to cut my allowance. I’ll make their lives a living hell.”
My eyes widen at her sudden burst of anger and venom towards her parents. I met her mom once, and she seemed sweet. I’m a little speechless. I’ve never seen Josie get upset. She’s always been the calm one.
I clear my throat, smiling a little weakly. “They your parents, Josie. They’re just worried. You’re their only child. I’m sure they mean well.”
She glares at me. “You’re supposed to be on my side.”
That’s my queue to leave. Josie must be tired from the flight. Hopefully after she’s had some sleep, she’ll be back to her old self.
I get up, grabbing my gym bag. I quickly stuff the boots I’ll be wearing at class tonight inside, then zip it closed. I’ve been doing much better with the pole dancing and even got myself an outfit for class. It’s nothing extravagant, just some boy shorts and a bikini top. Tonight we have to wear heels though, so that will be a first.
“I joined a pole dancing class. You want to come?” I offer, not wanting to get on Josie’s bad side. I almost hold my breath, hoping she’ll say no.
Josie scrunches her nose and quickly shakes her head. “There’s no way I’m pole dancing.”
“I only have an hour between gym and work if you want to have dinner together?”
“Nah,” she says as she lies down on the bed. “I’m just going to crash.”
“Okay, I’ll see you in the morning then.” When I open the bedroom door, I glance back at her. Wanting to make her feel better before I leave, I say, “I’m glad you’re here.”
Her face seems to brighten a bit at my words, as I pull the door closed behind me.
~
I’m wearing my pole dancing outfit under my usual shorts and t-shirt.
When I walk into the class, I see Beth over on the podium, where she’s fiddling with the music. She looks over her shoulder and smiles when she sees me.
“Hey, Mia. Did you remember to bring heels?” she asks as she steps off the podium.
I place my bag on the floor and open it. I take the boots out so I can show her. I hope she’s okay with it. I don’t have any heels. I also can’t afford to splurge on a pair right now.
“I know you said heels, but I was thinking I’d be more comfortable in boots.”
Say it’s okay. Please, say it’s okay.
A smile spreads over her face. “Those are perfect. So,” she says, giving me an eager look. “It’s been two weeks. We have two more to go, but I’d like to know how you feel about the class so far.”
Relieved that she’s happy with the boots, I answer her with a huge smile, “I really like it. It’s a challenge, and although my weight hasn’t dropped a lot, I can feel a huge difference in how my clothes sit on me. I have to admit, I’m enjoying it a lot.”
“Muscle weighs more than fat, so don’t worry about your weight. I’m glad you like it.”
I love how down to earth Beth is. She doesn’t make you feel uncomfortable in her class. She focuses on building her students’ self-esteem.”
“You’re doing great and catching on faster than I thought you would. Do you like attending class with the other girls, or would you prefer one-on-one time?”
I frown, not sure what she’s trying to say.
“I think you’ll learn faster, if you’re not distracted by people around you. I could show you the moves for today and you can have the room across from us to practice.”
Wow, that sounds great. “Yeah, sure,” I say quickly before she can change her mind.
“Great, grab your stuff so I can get you settled before the others get here.”
I follow her to the other room and can’t help but grin with excitement. Having my own space will make it so much easier to learn. I won’t have to worry about what I look like or whether my fat’s jiggling with every twirl.
~
I fall down on the couch next to Josie, and for a moment we just stare at our little place we’ve tried to decorate today. It’s not much, but it’s our space, and just the thought alone makes me tear up.
Josie’s back to her normal self, which is a huge relief. She’s been ignoring her parents’ calls. I don’t agree with her, but I keep my mouth shut. Proverbially speaking, I sure as hell don’t want to rock the already unsteady boat. She doesn’t realize how lucky she is. Man, what I would give to have my parents back. And Rhett. It’s true what they say – you don’t know what you have, until it’s gone.
Suddenly, Josie jumps up and turns to me with a determined look on her face. “We should celebrate. Call in sick. I want to go out.”
As much as I want to go out and just be a normal twenty-two-year-old, I need the money.
“It’s just one night,” Josie begs, holding up her pointer finger for emphasis.
Hesitating, I start to chew on the inside of my bottom lip. It’s a nervous habit I can’t shake.
She must see that I’m hesitating, because she takes my hand and pulls me up. “Come on, don’t be such a drag.” She pushes me towards my bedroom. “Make the call and get ready.”
“I need the hours, Josie. Otherwise I won’t have enough money for next week.”
She shoves her fists in her sides, while rolling her eyes at me. “Fuck, if it’s such an issue, I’ll give you the money. We haven’t spent any time together. You’re either sleeping, pole dancing or at that stupid job. Don’t you want to go out with me?”
I don’t want her money. I wish she’d understand that I want to take care of myself. I don’t think she’ll ever understand how important that is to me.
“Please. We’ll have so much fun.” Her face softens a little as she pouts.
I suppose one night won’t kill me. Besides, maybe having a fun night out will help get our friendship back to normal. I hate confrontation and just want our easy going vibe back.
“Fine, but just tonight,” I give in.
She squeals, while pushing me all the way to my room. “Tonight’s gonna be awesome,” she sings, as she runs to her own room to get ready.
I take a shower, and quickly shave while leaving the conditioner in my hair for a few minutes. When I’ve dried myself, I take my time rubbing lotion all over my body. I don’t bother drying my hair, but instead scrunch it, giving it a wet and wild look.
I decide to wear my black skinny jeans and boots. I wear the boots every chance I get, needing to get used to them. The first night I had to practice pole dancing with them, I almost saw my ass without a mirror. It’s one thing wearing them every once in a while. But damn, it’s a whole different ball game climbing a pole out with them on.
When I pull my jeans on, a huge smile splits over my face. I don’t have to jump around to get the pants on. It slides easily up my legs and over my butt. I even have to grab a belt to help keep the jeans from sagging.
Feeling sexy because all my hard work is starting to pay off, I take a top from the back of the closet. The second I saw the top, I fell in love with it. I got it in a smaller size as motivation to lose weight.
I keep my back to the mirror as I pull it on. I smooth out a few wrinkles, then turn to face my reflection in the mirror. My eyes glide over my figure, and what I see makes my chin start to tremble with emotion. Pride fills my chest until it feels like I might burst. There are no rolls of fat in sight.
The top fits around my middle like a second skin. It has a scoop neck, which almost reaches my neck, before plunging down my back to kiss the top of my ass.
“Look at you,” I whisper in awe. “Months ago you wouldn’t have been caught dead in an outfit like this, but now you’re rocking it.”
I blow a kiss to my reflection, and with a huge grin, I quickly put on some mascara, blush and lipstick.
An hour later we’re sitting in a bar. It’s not my idea of fun, but Josie seems to be having a great time. I smile as she jumps up and down, along with a group of girls we met a few minutes ago. She’s a total extrovert and makes new friends so fast it sometimes makes my head spin.
“Is there a cellphone in your pocket?” I hear a guy say behind me. I glance over my shoulder, which is my first mistake. The guy wags his eyebrows and says, “’Cause that ass is calling me.”
My jaw drops when he makes a point of staring at my butt and biting his bottom lip.
“No,” I say as I struggle not to pull a disgusted face. “Just no. That’s the worst pick up line ever.”
The creep actually has a set of balls on him, because he leans closer to me, then trails his middle finger down my back. He even groans, which makes me want to gag.
“I’m like a firefighter, I find them hot and leave them wet.”
This time I can’t keep from pulling a disgusted face, as I say, “Give up already. You’re only making an idiot of yourself.”
His smile is quickly replaced with a sneer. “I hope you have a vibrator at home, because you can go fuck yourself, bitch.”
Ugh, some people are just born natural assholes. I turn my back to him, hoping he’ll leave me alone.
I down half my drink, pretending to be very interested in what’s happening on the dance floor. Someone bumps into me from behind, spilling something cold over my hair and down my back.
I dart up, ready to slap the bastard. I hear a muffled ‘sorry’ as I swing around. My eyes meet a wall of muscle that’s covered with a blue t-shirt. When it’s clear that it’s not the same creep from before, I quickly swallow the insults back down.
I glance up and it feels as if someone just punched me right in the gut.
Rhett places his drink back on the bar and smiles as he says, “Sorry, babe. Didn’t mean to spill my drink all over you.”
I can only stare at my brother, while feeling totally overwhelmed. He’s changed so much. His face is harder, and it’s missing the playful look he always had. I don’t recognize the smile on his face. It’s too stiff for Rhett. His smiles used to be able to light up a room.
“Damn, bro. We’ve just walked in, and you already got yourself a hot piece of ass,” Marcus says, the moment Rhett looks at me.
I see the moment he recognizes me. It plays over his face in waves of relief, shock, and then anger. His eyes drop to my boots, before they make their way back up to my face. He clenches his teeth and growls, “What the fuck, Mia?”
For a stunned moment, I can only look at my brother, hurt that those are his first words to me in three and a half years.
We used to be so close. After our parents died, Rhett became my world. He stepped right in and became my protector and safe haven. I idolized him. He was the one person who got me.
It feels as if I’m caught in a daze, as I turn around and walk away. My body is moving on its own, as I push my way through all the people standing around.
I can’t believe how upset he is. What happened to us? What did I do that was so bad?
Once I’m out the door, I dig in my bag for tissues. I find a few crumbled ones, and struggle to dry my back and hair. Ugh, it’s a lost cause. I just want to crawl into my bed and cry until I’m numb.
“Mia!”
Hearing Rhett behind me makes me feel torn in two. Part of me wants to run away from the pain, while the other half wants to turn around and bury myself in his arms.
I want to scream at him for just forgetting about me. I want to beg him to forgive me for whatever I did. The emotions are dizzying and suffocating.
He moves in front of me, blocking my way before I can decide whether I want to run or stay. Stubbornly, I look at the ground, refusing to show him how much he’s hurt me.
He takes hold of my shoulders and the touch shatters the walls I’ve worked so hard to build up. I throw myself at Rhett, wrapping my arms as tight as I can around his neck.
“Let me just hold you,” I whisper through the tears. “Just give me this moment.”
His arms move around me, and I feel him shudder as he holds me close. He smells so familiar … like home, and it tears at my insides.
“Mia,” I hear Josie call.
I don’t want to, but I force myself to pull away from Rhett.
His hands go to my cheeks, and he wipes the tears away with his thumbs, while forcing me to look up at him. When I see the tears on his face, I have to fight with all my strength to not break down again.
“Why?” I ask, hoping he’ll at least give me an answer. “Why did you just forget about me? What did I do wrong?”
A dark frown quickly replaces the emotional look on Rhett’s face, and right now he looks so much like Dad used to, right before we got a spanking.
He starts to shake his head slowly. “What the fuck are you talking about?”
I take two steps back, so he has to drop his hands.
I feel a hand on my shoulder, and when I glance to my left, I see that it’s Jaxson. I shrug his hand away and take another step back. When Carter and Marcus join us, my heart feels like it’s being crushed to powder. That means Logan is here too. I don’t think my heart’s going to survive tonight.
Josie takes hold of my hand and takes one look at my face, then says, “We need to go.”
I nod, and I let her pull me away, because right now, I can’t think clearly through the heartache. I never thought it would hurt so much, seeing Rhett again.
“You’re not going anywhere,” Rhett says, as he takes a hold of my arm, stopping Josie from pulling me down the sidewalk.
“Let go of her,” Josie hisses, which makes my eyes widen.
“Who the fuck are you?” Rhett growls at her, pulling me further away from Josie.
“I’m her best friend,” Josie growls right back, not showing an ounce of fear.
This is going to end badly if I don’t stop them.
“It’s okay, Josie. This is Rhett … my brother,” I quickly explain, hoping it will be enough to defuse the tension.
“I know who he is,” she snaps angrily. “I know who they all are,” she starts to rant. “The screw crew who practically fucked their way from North Carolina to New York, and -”
“Damn, woman,” Marcus interrupts her. “You need to chill. This is between Rhett and Mia.”
Josie sucks in a deep breath, getting ready to give Marcus a piece of her mind. I don’t have enough strength to deal with Josie, as well
“Just give me a few minutes. Go back inside. I’ll come get you when I’m ready to go.”
She shakes her head, crossing her arms over her chest. “I’m not leaving you.”
I close my eyes for a second as I try to regain control of my rampant emotions.
“It’s not up to you, Josie. I need this. Go have a drink and dance some more,” I say, putting my foot down. With everyone being upset, Josie is just making the whole situation more volatile.
“Fine, talk to him,” she grinds out. “I’m waiting right here.”
I give her a pleading look to calm down, and turn back to Rhett. Once I’m facing him again, I have no idea what to say. I’ve never felt uncomfortable around him before, and it sucks that our easy-going bond is gone.
Rhett scowls at Josie, one last time, before he pulls me to the side. I glance at the other guys, and they all have the same look of surprise on their faces, as they stare at me. When my eyes meet Logan’s, I almost groan as a fresh wave of pain hits.
He looks heartbreakingly handsome, even more than I remember from the last time I saw him. His hair is a little darker, almost brown. It must be because he doesn’t get out in the sun much since he started working. His brown eyes are filled with questions and something that looks dangerously like disappointment. There’s no sign of the mischievous look they always had. Not even a glimmer.
Actually, screw him. Where does he get off looking disappointed?
“What the hell happened, Mia? Why did you drop out of college? Where have you been staying? You’ve lost so much weight, I almost didn’t recognize you. How the fuck have you been surviving? Why haven’t you returned my messages?” Rhett throws one question after the other at me, drawing my attention away from Logan. Rhett’s face is tight with rage, and it only makes my own anger surface.
I yank free from his grip and wrap my arms around my waist.
I can’t bring myself to look at him, as I answer, “You didn’t return any of my messages. None of you did. For months I tried to call, but it said your numbers were no longer in use.”
A confused look washes over Rhett’s face, and he takes a step closer to me. “Are you doing drugs?”
WTF? In shock, my eyes snap up to his. “No! Of course not. Why would you even think that?”
“You’ve lost a shit load of weight and you’re not making any fucking sense. Up until two weeks ago, we were still messaging each other,” he says, anger dripping from every word.
With my own anger momentarily forgotten, my mouth drops open, but I can’t form any words. I shake my head, wondering what the hell he’s talking about.
“Mia,” Logan talks for the first time. I have to close my eyes, as the emotions from just hearing him say my name, wash over me. His voice still has the power to create havoc with my heart.
When I open my eyes, I watch as Logan comes to stand next to Rhett. Immediately, I notice how much they’ve grown. Rhett is still the tallest in the group. I used to reach his shoulder, but now the top of my head barely makes it to his shoulder, and that’s with the extra height I have from wearing the boots.
“I haven’t heard from you in over three years, Rhett. Three years and four months to be exact. Even before I lost my phone, you weren’t talking to me that much anymore. Hell, I was so worried I came to New York, just to make sure you were all okay.”
I suck in a deep breath and looking away at the buildings across the street, I whisper, “The first time I came to see you, you were overseas. You left the country, and you didn’t even bother telling me. I got the message loud and clear that day, but like an idiot, I had to try again. The second time I tried to see you, I was told to make an appointment. I made an appointment, which you cancelled. Like I said, I got the message loud and clear. I just wish I knew what I did wrong to make you all break contact with me.”
“Why didn’t you talk to any of us when you came to New York the first time?” Carter asks.
Anger starts to simmer in my chest, as I glance at Carter.
“I tried. I said hi, and you both ignored me.” I glare at Logan, and even I can hear how bitter my words are. “Logan saw me. He looked right at me and just walked by.”
Rhett turns his back on me and grabs fistfuls of his hair, as he lets out a roar of anger. He pivots around and only stops when he’s right in front of me. I’ve never seen him so angry before, and it makes me instinctively cringe away from him. He yanks his phone out of his pocket and opens a chat before holding his phone right to my face.
“We fucking messaged every day!”
The screen is a blur and I have to move back, so I can focus on the words. I start to shake, as I reach for his phone. At first, there are only panicked messages from Rhett and I can see that they’ve been read. As I scroll up, it feels as if the ground is opening up beneath my feet.
Mia: I’m not moving to NY! I’m staying here. We can make some time over the holidays to get together.
Rhett: FFS! I want you near me. It feels like every time we make plans to get together, something fucks it up. I don’t like you being that far away from me.
I keep reading, not understanding anything anymore. There are dozens of messages. Rhett thought he was talking to me? More important, who the hell pretended to me?
“I didn’t send any of these,” I whisper, feeling an icy chill ripple up my spine. Something is very wrong.
Rhett grabs the phone from my hands and goes to his contact list. He brings up my name and shows me the number. It feels unreal, as I stare at my old number.
“I thought I lost my phone. Someone must’ve taken it. Why would they do that?” I’m not asking anyone in particular. I just can’t wrap my head around it all.
“You said you got a new phone,” Rhett says in a much calmer tone than before. “Let me see it.”
I pull it out of my back pocket and hand it to him, not seeing how it’s going to solve any of this.
Rhett’s fingers fly over the screen, before he frowns again. “Mia, you have the wrong number for me.”
“What?” I grab the phone back and look at the number. A shuddering breath works its way through my body, as I go to Logan’s name, and what I see freaks me out completely.
“I put in the right numbers. I know I did. I triple checked each number before I saved it.” I hold the phone out to Rhett so he can see. “The same weird number is under Logan’s name. I never thought to check the numbers, because I made sure I typed them in right the first time.”
“I have your old number as well,” Logan says, as he takes his phone out and dials my old number. He puts it on speaker phone, so we can all hear. It rings for a while, before my voice sounds up, “You’ve reached Mia. Please leave a message.”
I don’t know what this means. My eyes dart over them all, but it’s Jaxson who places his hand on my shoulder. “You thought we just left you?”
I nod as a fresh wave of tears threatens to wash me right off my feet.
“Sweetheart,” he whispers, as he pulls me into a hug, “I’m sorry. We should’ve tried harder to see you. I thought you were busy with your studies.”
I keep nodding against his chest, knowing I won’t be able to say anything.
When he pulls back, there’s a look of intense pain on Rhett’s face. His eyes are shining with tears, and his voice sounds rough when he says, “You thought I just left you? All this time you thought that?”
The look on his face reminds me of the day we were told Dad and Mom died in a car accident. My heart squeezes painfully, just like it did then. I’ve tried to be strong the past few years, but hearing that they didn’t just leave me, didn’t forget me … fills me with incredible relief and joy.
I dart forward and throw my arms around Rhett’s waist. I bury my face in his chest and ugly cry from the relief I feel.
“I missed you.” It’s all I can say over and over.