Purple Velvet was nearly empty, just as I had expected. I slid into a seat at the bar and ordered a Four Roses Single Barrel Bourbon, neat. I’d been contemplating the amber liquid in my glass with a fierce focus, trying to block everything else—work, Miles, Zeke—from my mind, when I heard a commotion at the back. There wasn’t anyone in the place other than a chick further down the bar and whoever was sitting in the back. It took me a moment to see through the dim lighting, but it was one of the servers making a fuss over something. I craned my neck to see what was going on. Anything to distract myself.

But someone upstairs seriously was messing with me, because it was Miles sitting in the back booth. His eyes met mine and I knew I had only seconds before he disappeared again. I slammed back the rest of my drink and headed his way, guided by instinct and filled with liquid courage.

I tapped the babbling waiter on the back, distracting him from his word vomit as he apologized to Miles about something, and asked him for my refill. Miles looked ready to bolt again. I didn’t want him to feel trapped, but I couldn’t let him go either. Instead of sitting next to him or across from him, I stayed standing. “Miles, please don’t run away this time.”

“Look, I’m sorry about setting you up earlier, but it’s probably better if we just leave each other alone.”

I sighed. “You’re the second person to tell me that today.”

He seemed a bit taken aback. The fact that someone else hated the sight of me as much as he did? At least Miles had some kind of reason. Or was it that I wasn’t fighting back? We’d fought a lot right before the end. I hadn’t ever thought about what I would say to Miles if I ever saw him again because I hadn’t wanted to think about it. It was too painful. And seeing him earlier had shaken me to my core.

The waiter hurried back with my glass. That hadn’t taken long at all. Right behind him, a woman followed with a glass of beer. I slid into the booth across from Miles. He still seemed torn between fighting or running. I lifted my glass to him. “Can we at least have one drink together? The coffee might have gone to waste, but it’s a sin to waste good alcohol.”

He eyed me warily as he pulled his beer toward him and lifted it for a drink. We sat silently for several minutes and I wondered what was going through his head. I knew he hated me, and I knew I deserved it. I just wished…

I wished I could change the past.

“What do you want, Parker?” Miles said finally.

That was a good question. What did I want? “I don’t know,” I said.

“Then why are you chasing me down?”

“I wasn’t—I didn’t—” I sighed. “Sorry. I know I shouldn’t be here. I know you would be happy if you’d never seen my face again. I wasn’t trying to track you down. I was looking for my brother, and then there you were, and there he was, and neither of you wants to see me and I don’t even know what I want other than to crawl into a bottle until I get back on a plane tomorrow.”

I was staring into my glass, unable to meet Miles’s eyes.

“So Marcus is definitely your brother? I thought his name was Zeke.”

I looked up to see some of his animosity had faded. “I thought his name was Zeke too.”

“I’m extremely confused,” Miles said.

“Welcome to the club.” I took a long sip.

We sat silently for a while again. “You look good,” Miles said, finally.

I snorted. “I’ve been through the most harrowing hour in my life since… well, you know. I look like shit.” What little of Miles’s walls had fallen was back up in an instant. “I mean, thank you. I’m sorry I’m such an ass tonight. I’m sorry… for everything, really.”

The warmth of the bourbon was creeping into my fingers and toes and my brain and body finally started to relax. “It would have been better if you’d never met me,” I said.

“What? Why would you even say that?”

“I fucked everything up for you. For us. Back then, at least. How are you doing now?”

Miles blinked in surprise. “Do you really want to know?”

“Of course. Why would you think I wouldn’t?”

Miles glanced away, and I could only imagine what he thought of me. Instinctively, I wanted to defend myself, but I knew whatever it was, I deserved it.

“I’m okay,” he said. “I’m working at my dad’s firm.”

I started to ask him why he didn’t have a practice of his own like he’d planned, but I didn’t want him to feel like I was being condescending. If he was working for his dad, he had good reason for it.

“That’s great,” I said instead. “I’ll bet you’re already a partner.”

His smile was thin, stretched, forced.

“What about…” I forced the words from my mouth. “A husband? Kids?”

Miles shook his head. “None of that for me, I’m afraid.”

I wanted to ask him why. He was gorgeous, smart, funny… but I had a feeling I already knew the answer.

“You?” he asked.

“Oh, I’m married to my work.” It was my go-to phrase whenever someone asked me when I was going to settle down.

“What do you do now?”

“International manufacturing and shipping.”

“That sounds big.”

I shrugged. “It’s a job like any other, I guess. But I’m really good at it and I enjoy it.”

Miles graced me with a real smile for the first time, and my heart just about burst at the contrast. This was the smile I remembered, Miles’s light just bursting out through the seams.

“That’s what matters, isn’t it?”

The silence fell for a third time. It was a different silence than the last days with Miles in the hospital, full of guilt and sorrow and fear. This silence was just… empty.

“Parker, why—”

Whatever he’d been about to ask disappeared as the waitress came up and ask if we needed anything else.

Miles checked his watch, and I could tell I was about to lose him again. “No, I’m good, thank you. I’ll take my check when you’re ready,” he told the waitress.

I wanted to stay and talk longer, but Miles was clearly on his way out. “Mine too.”

We paid for our drinks, and then I reached for Miles’s hand as he walked past me. My skin tingled where our skin touched, and I was certain it wasn’t just the alcohol. “It was really good to see you again, Miles.”

He stared at our hands, then reached into his pocket with his free hand and handed me a card. “Likewise. Maybe we should…”

“Yeah, we should,” I said, reluctantly breaking my hold to pull out my wallet and hand him one of my cards. He took it with a silent nod and left, whisking away like the ghost of a memory that he was.