The next morning, Lady Abigail was wracked with nerves, having not slept well. She paced the drawing room as she hoped that Heshing would call on her. When the butler did come to inform her of a caller, it was Gilchrist instead.
Lady Abigail felt no disappointment in the announcement. Now she could bring her connection to Heshing to his attention and everything would be fixed.
“I’m glad to see you in good health,” Lord Gilchrist said as he sat down in the morning room with Lady Abigail.
“I wanted to thank you,” Lady Abigail said firstly, “for helping me home. I’m sure I ended up being a great burden, literally, if my brother’s telling was correct.”
“It was not more than I could bear,” Lord Gilchrist said with a humble smile.
“I hope I didn’t cause you great pain, though,” Lady Abigail added.
Gilchrist shook his head no. In truth, Lady Abigail had no idea the depths of pain that he had felt. None of it had been caused by his leg. It had been weeks of torment, wondering if she would recover.
Even worse was the fact that every time he gathered the courage to make the short distance to her house to call on her well-being, there always seemed to be an incident.
One day, in fact, he had left the duke's house after calling, only to walk out to a maid taking a child on a daily walk. The child had screamed in terror from one look at him. For several nights after, his dreams had been haunted by the image of crying, fearful children.
“I was grateful to hear that you came so often to check on me. I know that must have been a hardship for you.”
"I cannot lie and say that it was easy to do, but…” Lord Gilchrist seemed to take a steadying breath, “it was worth the discomfort to hear that you were mending with each and every visit.”
Lady Abigail looked down at her hands. She could hear the words that Lord Gilchrist was not speaking. He was telling her the affection he felt for her.
“Anyway, it was good to be assured that you were well before I returned to my country estate for good,” he said when she gave no response.
Lady Abigail’s head shot up in shock at his words.
“For good? What does that mean?”
“It means just that,” he said with a nervous chuckle. “Honestly, I can no longer bear the scrutiny of society and the confines of my small London house. I will return to my estates where I will at least have the ease to walk about my own grounds.”
The words were like a sinking rock in Lady Abigail’s stomach. Was he leaving because she didn’t reciprocate his words? She hated the thought that they would be separating on bad terms. It tore through her in a way she had never experienced before.
“Lord Gilchrist,” Lady Abigail said softly. “I must ask you something.”
“Whatever it is, I will answer the best I can,” he replied.
“Last night, after the ball, my brother told me some disturbing news. You see, I have been spending a lot of time with the Earl of Heshing. Christian mentioned that you had seen some ungentlemanly conduct from Lord Heshing.”
Lord Gilchrist visibly stiffened at the name. It had been a hard thing to hear that he was not the only one coming to call on Lady Abigail. When he had learned that it was Lord Heshing that was also concerned for her welfare, he was left with no other choice but to tell the duke.
Lord Gilchrist often told himself it was for the lady’s own well-being that he had done so, but in truth, it was because he was filled with jealousy.
“What is your question?” Lord Gilchrist asked, doing his best to hide the icy cold of his tone.
“Well, it’s just that. I’m sure you must have been mistaken. I have spent much time with him over the course of the season and I never noticed anything that might suggest he was less than honorable,” Lady Abigail quickly rambled on.
“For someone who knows him so well, it is strange that in all our conversations, you never once mentioned him,” Gilchrist countered.
He was doing his best to control the emotions threatening to boil over. He couldn’t decide what was more hurtful. It certainly couldn’t be that Lady Abigail had chosen another over him. Any whole gentlemen shined a great light compared to his broken frame.
It was more hurtful that, over their time spent together, he had opened up to her in ways he had done to no one else since arriving back home. It hurt that, in all that time, she had kept something from him.
“I didn’t mention him because I didn’t want to be rude,” Lady Abigail did her best to explain a reason she didn’t fully understand herself.
“Perhaps it was out of guilt. Maybe you did know that he was not the savory type and knew that I would bring such to your attention had you mentioned him,” Lord Gilchrist cut back.
“Those are uncalled for assumptions,” Lady Abigail said, now having heat rise in her cheeks.
“Are you calling me the liar, then?” Gilchrist said, coming to stand. “I know what I saw that day at White’s and I heard from the wretch’s own mouth that he was unwilling to pay a debt he rightfully owed.”
“If that is the kind of man you choose to associate yourself with, then I think we have nothing more to say to each other.”
“You—” Lady Abigail said, now coming to stand herself. “You have no right to speak in such a manner. You, who shut yourself up away from the world. How can you possibly judge someone else’s character as a gentleman when you don’t even have the courage to leave your own house?”
She took a step back, surprised by the words that flowed out of her mouth. She had said too much. Lord Gilchrist was looking at her with rage boiling over.
It was a little bit frightening and Lady Abigail sat back down in her chair. Gilchrist paced the room a few times. He was desperately trying to get control of himself.
In his mind, he was wondering what had ever drawn him to such a woman. Not only had she poor taste in character, but she was maddeningly insulting to boot. Had she been a man under his command, he certainly would have given her a piece of his mind.
Finally, he snatched his cane up and turned to leave the room. There would be no way for him to control his temper in her presence.
“You may do what you like. If you choose to take the rake’s word over mine, I can do nothing to stop you. I confess this is where we will have to part ways. I cannot tolerate being in the presence of a woman with so little wits about her.”
Lord Gilchrist spoke these words in a soft, defeated tone. It didn’t matter if he had chosen to shout them instead as he spoke before, they still stung to the very core of Lady Abigail.
In that short declaration, he announced that he had removed all care or feelings for her. Even worse, he had reduced her down to the silly girl who cared for nothing more than to talk about dresses and races.
“If that is how you feel about me, then I agree that we have no more to say to one another. It is a good thing that you will be returning to your country home.”
Lady Abigail looked away from the Earl of Gilchrist so that he would not see the tears that stung her eyes. She had grown to see more inside the man than she thought was there. In the end, it seemed that he was truly cruel-hearted deep down to his core.
Without looking her way and without another word spoken between them, Lord Gilchrist took his leave. It was only when he was entirely out of the house that Lady Abigail let herself crumble into the tears that she had held back.
Lady Abigail wasn’t entirely sure if she had made the right choice to support Lord Heshing, but one thing she was sure of was that she would never forgive Lord Gilchrist for the hurtful way he had treated her that day.
Lord Gilchrist climbed into his carriage and ordered the driver on to his home with haste. That morning had not gone at all as he had hoped. He had wished to come to her that day in order to continue to grow the relationship between them.
He had never dared hope that Lady Abigail would come to care for him in the way that he had cared for her. Never in his wildest nightmares, however, would he have considered Lady Abigail accusing him of giving a false statement of another.
Had she honestly thought so little of his character all this time? It was clear that the lady he had thought he was getting close to was not at all the one that was, in fact, Lady Abigail.
He would make plans to leave London immediately. Once proper preparations were made, he would leave his country estates for America. Perhaps in the new world he would also be able to carve out a new life for himself, away from the peerage, the screaming children, shocked ladies, and offending Lady Abigail Grant.