CHAPTER TWENTY - AMBER
The following evening, I headed over to Luke’s after work. He’d been at work all day, but I’d had the day off. Instead of relaxing, I’d spent the whole day stressing over the job offer from Halcyon.
It wasn’t the offer itself that concerned me. I had no intention of taking the job. What worried me was Luke’s reaction to the offer.
We hadn’t discussed anything after Martin left, but I got the feeling that it was bothering Luke. He’d been quiet and distant for the rest of the day. When I asked to spend the night with him again, he told me he was too tired.
Maybe I was seeing things that weren’t there, but my gut told me something was off. In either case, my plan was to make it clear to Luke later that night that I wouldn’t jump ship, no matter what kind of offers I got.
I rang the doorbell, trying to quell the butterflies in my stomach. Emery answered the door. The sight of her smile set my mind at ease.
“Amber! Come in.”
“Hey there,” I said, following her inside and shutting the door behind me. “I have a question for you.”
“What?” she asked, giving me a quizzical look.
“Have you been behaving yourself?”
“Of course.”
“Are you sure?” I put my hands on my hips.
“Yes, of course.”
“Good,” I said, and reached into the bag on my shoulder. “Then I can give you this.”
I pulled out a pink unicorn stuffed animal. I’d seen it when I was out shopping early that day, and it reminded me of Emery’s night light. I knew I couldn’t leave the store without it.
Emery’s face lit up brighter than her night light. I handed her the plush doll, and she hugged it to her chest. “Thank you, Amber.”
“You’re very welcome, kiddo. I’m glad you like it.”
“I love it,” she said.
Seeing Emery happy lit a warm glow inside me. It was always rewarding to do something nice for someone else, but this was more than that. Emery and I shared a bond. Jamie was right. She reminded me of myself when I was younger. So anytime I could make her smile was extra special to me.
I knew just by being around her, Emery’s spirits were lifted. The feeling was mutual. She made me happier, too.
I felt an intense gratitude that Luke and Emery had come into my life. I could have ended up anywhere, working at any of a hundred other restaurants, working for any number of different bosses. But somehow, I’d ended up exactly where I was supposed to be.
Luke walked into the living room, his hair still wet from the shower. “Emery, honey, please go to your room. I need to talk to Amber.”
“Okay,” Emery said. She turned and hugged me. Her little face looked up at me. “I’ll see you later, Amber.”
I nodded. She bounded off to her room, leaving Luke and me alone.
“Is everything okay?” I asked. I could tell from the stormy look on his face that it wasn’t.
“Amber, we need to talk.”
My stomach churned with anxiety at those four horrible words. ‘We need to talk.’ No conversation that started that way was ever good. It was never, “We need to talk about how much I love ice cream.” Or, “We need to talk about how sexy you look in that dress.” It was always serious, and it was always bad.
“All right,” I said, taking a deep breath to steady myself. “Talk.”
“Maybe we should sit,” he said.
“Maybe you should just say what you have to say.” I felt so intensely defensive.
Luke sighed and looked away, unable to meet my gaze. “We can’t see each other anymore.”
I knew the conversation was going to be bad, but I didn’t think it would go full blown nuclear. His words hit me like a kick to the chest, making it hard to breathe.
“Why not?” I whispered as tears filled my eyes.
“What’s going on between us, it’s not going to last. Better to make a clean break now.”
“How can you say that? Where the hell is this coming from? If this is about the job offer, you saw me turn it down.” The ball in the back of my throat swelled.
He looked at me then, his eyes full of pain. “It was a mistake to turn it down. You should take that job.”
“Fuck that job. I have a job. I’m happy right where I am. At least, I was until just now.” I touched my throat as my heart broke.
Luke shook his head sadly. “You don’t have a job any more. I’m letting you go.”
I threw my hands up in frustration. “What is happening right now? Why are you doing this?”
“The job offer got me thinking. Sure, you’re happy here now, but this won’t be the last time someone comes around and offers you a dream job. You said no yesterday. And you might say no tomorrow, and a year from now, but at some point, you’re going to want more for yourself. And you’ll say yes. And then you’ll leave. It’s inevitable. So better to do it now.” He put his hands on his hips.
I shook my head in confusion. “Do you even hear yourself? You’re afraid I’ll leave someday so you’re pushing me away today? That doesn’t make any sense. It’s like, oh, someday I might burn my hand in a fire, so let me just reach into the flame now and get it over with.”
He narrowed his eyes. “You may not understand but it makes sense to me. I know what it’s like to have someone leave. Someone you care deeply about. I don’t want to go through that again. And I won’t let Emery go through that again.”
“How fucking dare you? I would never hurt that little girl.” A tear rolled down my cheek.
“Maybe not,” he said. “This way, you’ll never get the chance.”
“Wow,” I said, shaking my head. “So, this is what you think of me? I thought we’d gotten close over the past few weeks, but you don’t know me at all.”
“Look, I’m sorry—”
I lifted my hand as my world shattered. “Save it. I don’t need your damn apology. You know, I can’t help but feel like there’s something else going on here. Something you’re not telling me.”
“I’ve told you my reasons.”
“You’ve told me some bullshit. You think you’re the only one in the world whose had their heart broken? Please. Everyone I know has lost someone they cared about. Or been abandoned. Or betrayed. No, there’s more to this. Things were going good with us.”
He drew himself up to his full height and glared at me with a cold, cruel look in his eyes. “Fine. You want the truth?”
Here was the bastard I knew so well.
“Yeah, you owe me that much before I walk out of here and never see you again.”
“The truth is that I want you to take the job so I can get the money to pay off the restaurant’s debts.”
I laughed bitterly. “There it is. There’s the cold-hearted son of a bitch I knew you were. How could I ever think you were more than that? How could I think I might actually—” I stopped and shook my head as another round of tears blinded me. “It doesn’t matter. Thank you, Luke. Thank you for being honest. And thank you for making it really fucking easy to walk out that door. Have a nice life, you miserable bastard.”