Chapter Fifteen
THEA
“The thing you’ll need to understand about flying,” Zak began, “is that it’s more to do with will than ability.”
Thea wrinkled her nose. “So if I think I can do it, I can?”
They stood on the rooftop of Cam’s building, which drifted over the Empire. The bright sky held strawberry-colored clouds this morning and, against the blue, they were gorgeous. It seemed like it should be cold being up so high but the air was warm and the breeze was light. Cam had left for his assignment after stopping by to tell her, briefly, what the Thrones said. He also explained the rules around angel pregnancy, which seemed pretty straight-forward. He had looked at her strangely and asked her what she thought about the whole idea. She had shrugged, confused about how her mother could have broken the rules, unless of course Thea was indeed a dark being. Cam kissed away her concerns and told her to make sure she was in his bed when he returned tonight. And that was what she was holding on to. If Cam believed everything would be okay, so would she.
“Yes.” Zak almost smiled. “And don’t pull that face—will is the key to a lot of things.”
Thea grinned. “My best friend, Amber, is the one who believes all that stuff.”
“It wouldn’t hurt to believe it too,” Zak said. “Tell me what you were told about flying in your training.”
Thea thought back to her training sessions. The flight training had been interesting but the other new angels had all managed to fly by the end of it, whereas she had only levitated. “Asteroth told us that when we flap our wings, we create the wind that will keep us up. So flying is about keeping the balance between the amount of wind you generate and the way you use the pressure of the wind to fly.”
“All right, forget all that,” Zak said, irritably. “It’s not going to help you.”
Thea widened her eyes and burst out laughing. “I never thought I’d hear you say that about Asteroth.”
Zak grinned with her, properly this time. “He’s a great tutor but he can waffle sometimes.”
Thea nodded, laughing harder.
“The number one thing that is important for you to know about flying,” Zak said, “is that when you shift into your angel-form, you are shifting into another state of existence.”
Thea frowned. “What do you mean?”
“In your angel-form, you exist in another… reality.” He frowned at his own words. “No that’s not right. I don’t know a better way to describe it. A human once called it another dimension, but I don’t think that’s right either.” He shrugged at her. “State of existence is all I’ve got.”
Thea nodded, in thought. “All right, that makes sense. Is that why angels glow when they’re in their angel-form in the human world and why they can understand different languages?”
“Exactly.” Zak looked pleased. “Now, pure angels automatically exist in this state of existence and have to shift into the human reality to be seen. You naturally exist in the human reality but can shift between the two.”
Thea paid attention to every word, suddenly beginning to understand how it all worked. “What about when angels are not in their angel-form? They still can’t be seen by humans.”
“That’s correct,” Zak said. “But we are still on that plane.”
Thea sunk into deep thought, trying to organize it all in her mind.
“Have you never noticed that when you shift into your angel-form, your wings penetrate your clothing, no matter what you wear?”
Thea shrugged. “I never thought about it. Cam took off his shirt when he first showed me his wings.”
Zak scoffed. “That was probably to impress you.”
Thea laughed, her heart lifting as she thought of the first time they had met. “So, when I shift into my angel-form,” she asked, after a moment, “can humans see me?”
“No.”
Thea nodded. “Okay.”
“So,” Zak began, “when you fly, you are not flying in the same environment as the human world. You are flying in an environment that doesn’t bend to the normal rules. So what Asteroth was describing doesn’t apply to you, because you are not an angel. You don’t know how your angel-form existence works yet.”
“Okay, so how does it work?”
“At this stage, you can decide.”
Thea stared at him and he lifted his shoulders.
“Most angels are taught how to fly the same way because they all have wings. The only exception is—
“—Virtues,” Thea realized.
“Exactly. Virtues decide for themselves because of their ability to control the elements around them.” Zak paused, watching her with his unusual eyes. “You have wings, but you’re also part human. So it really is your will that will allow you to fly.”
Excitement snaked up in Thea. Maybe this wasn’t going to be as hard as she thought. “What do I do?”
Zak shrugged off his robe and shirt until he was only wearing a black vest top. Thea tried to not stare. He was just as muscled as Cam. His skin was a beautiful brown, and had a bronze sheen but looked just as smooth, except for an ugly silver scar that snaked across his entire right shoulder like a deformed spider’s web. With his shaved head and hazel eyes, Zak looked like he could be one of those trendy fashion models, just with insane muscles. Not her type, really, but still good-looking.
She feigned an obvious cough. “What were you saying about Cam showing off by taking off his clothes?”
Zak stared at her surprised and then laughed heartily. “That’s not what this is, honestly. I just feel more able to catch you if I’m not wearing these flowing things.”
Thea laughed with him, glad he was actually quite easygoing. She was afraid, as he was a commander, he would be as stiff as Asteroth. Zak always seemed so formal and uptight, but maybe that’s because he dealt with broody Powers all the time.
“And anyway,” Zak added. “Cam would kill me if I made any kind of move to try and impress his mate. It’s bad enough that I might have to touch you.” He shifted into his angel-form. “The moment you shift,” he said, “feel for your wings. You should have a flash of awareness of them.”
Thea tried to drag her eyes from his scar but couldn’t. When he shifted it seemed to shimmer and writhe on its own.
“At the moment you feel your wings, try to move them in any way you can. Try and head upward.”
Thea snapped her eyes away from his scar before he realized she was being rude. She took a breath and shifted into her angel-form.
At the moment of her shift, she felt muscles extending out from her back. She pushed on them, willing herself upward. And up she flew.
Her wings flapped in long strokes around her and a thrill vibrated through her at the feel of them whipping through the air. She willed herself to slow to a hover when she saw how high she was above Cam’s building. Looking down, Zak came toward her from below.
“Are you all right?” he called, as he approached.
“Great,” Thea grinned. “This is so much fun!” However, as her focus switched, her wings seemed to stop working and she began to fall.
***
Thea was asleep when Cam arrived but she felt a rush of cold sweep over her as he lifted the duvet off her.
“Cam,” she murmured smiling. She turned to look up at him, her smile faltering when she saw his eyes. Something was wrong.
He stood by the bed, tense and unflinching. His hands were curled into fists and his wings stretched out behind him, his halo swirling above his head. His eyes were so hauntingly dark and steely she struggled to believe he was looking at her at all.
“Elithea.” His gravelly voice held no softness.
Thea sat up as nervousness fluttered through her. What the hell had happened? “Cam,” she said, hesitantly. “Are you all right?”
Cam said nothing. He shimmered into his normal form and began to undress, roughly shedding his shirt and unbuckling his jeans.
“Cam?” Thea watched him. Blades of distress and horror sliced into her, making her feel disoriented. They weren’t her own feelings—were they his?
He dropped into the bed, coming toward her with a glint in his eye she couldn’t place.
“Cam, what’s wro—” He crushed her mouth with his, grabbing the back of her head as he dominated her mouth.
She whimpered at the force of his kiss but melted into him, breathing in his smell and savoring the feel of him.
He dove his tongue into her mouth, sucked and nipped her lips and locked his mouth onto hers with a deep encompassing hungry kiss.
Thea moaned under his administrations, her body tingling with her need for him.
Cam lifted his face away and glanced down at her body. “Why are you wearing so many clothes?” It came out as a rasping growl, which shot straight to her stomach.
Thea looked down, then smirked at him. “What, a nightie?”
Cam didn’t smile back. He ripped the nightie in half and dragged it off her body.
“Cam,” Thea gasped. She didn’t have time to say anything else. Cam hooked his hands underneath her knees and yanked her toward him so she fell on her back.
He climbed over her and positioned himself on his knees between her legs, spreading them wide.
He ran a finger along her moist slit. “When I come home to you after a week of dealing with fucking Legion,” he said, his voice raspy and low, slowing his finger to circle her clit. “You should not be wearing any clothes. At all.”
Thea moaned and rolled her hips up to him, watching him. He was so sexy, even with the strange darkness.
Cam’s gaze remained on her eyes as he slipped his finger inside her, pushed it in and out of her. “Do you understand?”
“Yes, Cam,” she gasped, widening her legs and clenching onto the finger giving her so much pleasure.
He added another finger, and the squelch of her pussy filled the room. “I want you lying like this, spread on the bed, waiting for me to arrive.”
Thea moaned and writhed on his fingers, her pleasure building.
“And I want you awake,” Cam spat, dropping over her with one hand and increasing the speed of his fingers.
Desire burned through Thea and she lifted a hand to touch his face. He caught her fingers in his mouth and sucked on them as his thumb found her clit.
A low moan twisted out of her, and her pleasure increased. “Cam,” she whispered. “I missed you.”
Cam released her fingers and lowered to kiss her. As he did so, he withdrew his fingers from her pussy. Before she could complain, his cock slid into her, filling her up with that delicious burn until he was deeply snug inside her.
“Yeeees,” she breathed into his mouth, bringing her hips up to meet his.
He stilled, looking into her eyes. The hard darkness had faded and all she could see was her gorgeous mate. His stormy gaze was still intense, but she felt no despair from him, like she had earlier.
“This is what I’ve been thinking about all week,” Cam muttered, rolling his hips slightly and making her groan. “This is all I need, Elithea—this time with you.”
He lowered to suck a nipple into his mouth and sucked hard, twirling his tongue around it as he pulled back and drove his cock into her, over and over.
The sudden pleasure overwhelmed her. Before she knew it, she’d sped up her thrusts to meet him, panting his name. In that moment, she felt him let go of his own self-control and then he truly ravaged her, slamming into her pussy, taking it, claiming it for his own. He bit and flicked and sucked her nipple so hard, sending rippling waves of bliss through her. His grunts and moans vibrating through her breast, making her wetter.
To be so utterly possessed by him tipped Thea over the edge, and when she came, she couldn’t withhold the scream that erupted from somewhere inside her. Cam kept going, relentless in his attentions, not allowing the intensity of her orgasm to dull. He lifted from her breast and raised both of her legs over his shoulders, folding her body in half. He continued his pounding, hitting the sweet spot within her, until she came again with a violent shudder and breathy moan. Cam followed shortly after, coming deep within her in hot spurts that filled her pussy.
Afterward, they lay on the bed, Thea on her side as Cam’s cheek pressed into her stomach. He held her tightly around the torso and she watched him, running her hands through his hair, wondering how to address what she had seen and felt from him earlier. Even now, he seemed far away, his eyes glazed as his thumbs rubbed little circles on her back.
“How’s your assignment going?” she said, her voice almost a whisper.
His eyes came into focus and he glanced up at her, tightening his arms around her. A few moments of silence passed before he said, “Tell me about your day. Don’t leave anything out.”
Pushing down her concerns about his behavior, Thea told him all about her day; about her lesson with Zak, that she actually flew up into the sky before losing flight, all about what she had learned about angel-form, about seeing Dani and her first week treating Dad and about her new quarters on the same floor as Cam.
Cam rumbled and nodded in response, making all the right sounds, even laughing when she complained about Dani bringing her only fruit from the food courts in an effort to get her to fly out to the food court herself, but she could feel that he was still withdrawn. She stayed alert, watching him carefully but after their conversation he rose up onto an elbow, flipped her away from him and settled with his chest against her back. He stroked her hair and kissed her neck, and it felt so normal and natural, she soon drifted off to sleep.
***
For the next two weeks, while Cam was on his assignment, Thea couldn’t focus on anything. She waited impatiently for him during the day, hoping he would return to the smiley, snarky Cam she loved so much, but he returned each night with the same darkness in his eyes, the gruffness in his voice, the roughness in his manner.
In truth, he had always been demanding and rough during sex, but now his behavior was almost desperate, as if he would die if didn’t get to touch her, kiss her and slip inside her. It set her on edge—Cam was usually always in control.
She refused to lay herself out for him in the way he wanted, like some kind of sacrificial fucking lamb. Instead, she thought up different ways to greet him each evening; lounging in the bath, masturbating on the couch, sweaty, hot, and almost naked while practicing her footwork on the balcony. Once she greeted him standing on their bed, stripped down to her underwear. She ordered him to undress and lay beneath her. For a moment, she thought he might not do it, but he did—his dark eyes on her the whole time. Then, as he looked up at her, she teased him: running her hands over her body and through her hair, unclasping her bra and playing with her breasts, squeezing her ass, ripping off her own panties, and stroking her clit. The growl he emitted vibrated through her so deliciously, it practically pulled her down onto his engorged cock through pure instinct.
Most of those nights turned out to be some of the best sex she’d ever had with Cam. His intense darkness caused a nervous excitement that turned her on, though she remained concerned about his demeanor. Afterward, he was always quiet and withdrawn, only wanting to hold her and for her to talk about her day, never revealing anything about his week or his progress on the assignment. Although worry twinged in her stomach, she forced herself to remember that she could trust him. He said he would be fine on the assignment and if she trusted him, she had to believe that.
During the third week, after shakily flying from the roof of Cam’s building to another nearby building, Zak asked her how Cam was doing.
She frowned. “Don’t you see him? Doesn’t he check in with you?”
“No.” Zak offered no other explanation, simply watching her.
“He’s…” she struggled to explain. “Different. Quieter and withdrawn.”
Zak nodded and stared out over the Empire. “Have you seen any… restlessness or… anger?”
Confusion clouded Thea for a moment at the question. “No,” she said slowly, trying to think of a question to get him to explain what he meant. Zak was a master at evading direct questions. Sometimes she wouldn’t even realize he hadn’t answered her until much later in the day.
“Good,” Zak said. He turned away and stretched his wings. “Let’s go back to your building.”
“Wait,” Thea said. “Is Cam always different like this on these kind of assignments?”
“The last time he did this kind of assignment was two millenniums ago. He was a different person then.”
Thea lifted her brows. “How different could he be?”
Zak gave her a strange look. “He has been immensely different since he found you, Thea.”
Thea was silent for a moment. “Oh.” Before she met him, had he always been that surly angel she’d first known?
Zak turned to her. “He will be fine, Thea. He just needs to get through it, and he will. Keep an eye on him and keep me updated, but don’t worry too much.”
After he took off, she stretched her wings and pushed into the sky, hoping he was right.