Chapter Twenty-Three
CAM
Cam watched Zak closely as he exited Thea’s room. He fought the urge to bust down the door and see her and make sure she was okay. Though he trusted Zak and the healers, the only way he would feel better is if he saw her himself and talked to her. That was the only way he would know that she was truly safe. But, of course, it wasn’t about him. He also ached to hold her, kiss that mouth of hers and touch her, but it was unlikely she would allow it.
Cam looked expectantly at Zak, who turned to him with a stern demeanor. It was the only way he spoke to him now since the incident.
“She’ll see you,” Zak said.
Cam started for the door but Zak stopped him with a hand on his shoulder. “Later. She needs more rest right now.”
Cam clenched his fists but forced himself to nodded. Every part of him was screaming to go in and talk to Thea, to explain that he hadn’t meant to hurt her, but it needed to be on her terms. He put his back to the wall and slid to the floor, and Zak did the same next to him. Cam glanced at him, surprised.
“She’s scared of what she saw, Cam.”
Cam closed his eyes. Shit, that stung.
“She was already nervous from your behavior after the fight with Eylon.” Zak glanced at him out of the corner of his eye. “She said you… you handled her roughly.”
Cam stared at him. Broken memories of their last conversation floated back to him. His stomach dropped, dread lurched in him. Fuck. He had begun hurting her before he had even submitted fully to his rage. He lowered his head and squeezed his eyes shut, his fists tight. What the hell was he becoming?
“All is not lost yet, Cam.” Zak’s voice was gentler.
“It is,” Cam said roughly, lifting his head. “I don’t deserve a mate I cannot protect. I certainly don’t deserve a mate I inflict harm on. How can we move forward if she’s scared of me?”
“That’s her decision, isn’t it? She’s willing to see you, that’s the first step. Next she needs to separate those negative feelings from you. You need to convince her when you go in there.”
“She saw me, Zak. She can’t separate those feelings from me if it was me she saw.”
“It was a part of you she saw,” Zak corrected. “A part that we can deal with. But I think this is your last chance with her. She needs to feel that you won’t turn into that again.”
“How do I promise that? I don’t even know myself.”
“I have an idea,” Zak said. “I just don’t want the two of you to go without seeing each other and build up feelings that don’t belong between you. So it’s a good thing she’s agreed.” He shot Cam a sideways glance. “Do you still feel any of that anger?”
“No. It’s gone.”
“Completely? How do you know?”
Cam swallowed, a little uncomfortable talking about it. “Usually I can feel it under the surface. It’s not there now. It hasn’t been there since I cut her. I don’t know if it’s completely gone.”
Zak dipped his head. “Asteroth said he would consider this a demon attack. He’s not going to mention anything to the Dominion League about the true nature of the incident.”
Cam breathed out, slowly. “He would do that?”
“That’s what he said.” Zak glanced at Cam. “He has a soft spot for you, Cam.”
Cam didn’t know what to make of that.
They sat there in silence for a while and Cam thought about exactly what to say to Thea when he saw her. He had been trying to think of what to say all week, but nothing seemed good enough.
“I know you blame the Creator for Kara, Cam,” Zak said softly, “but you know, she went through great lengths to get you Thea.”
Cam tensed. “What’s your point? That Thea is a replacement for Kara?”
“No. Kara was never supposed to be your mate in the first place. Had you mated her, you never would have met Thea or been able to recognize her as your natural mate.”
“So you’re saying Kara had to die?” Cam’s voice was harsher than he intended.
“No,” Zak said, shaking his head. “But I know you were going to mate Kara out of loyalty, not love or any kind of sexual affection. What I’m saying is, Thea has always been the one for you, and look at all the things that had to happen with her mother for her to even exist and for you two to meet. How can you continue to blame the Creator for Kara when she’s given you, and no one else, such a special mate?”
Cam mulled over Zak’s words trying to find fault, but he couldn’t. He had known all along that Thea was for him. He’d even thanked the Creator when they’d gotten back together after their first fight. He hadn’t cared then about his anger over Kara, he’d just been grateful for Thea. And he was still grateful.
Zak rose. “I have to go and find Dani to see her about a… a text message. Wait for one of the healers to tell you she’s awake before you go in.”
Cam nodded and thanked Zak. He would never know how to repay him for all he’d done. He was truly a great friend—one he couldn’t do without.
Cam sat against the wall, as he had done for the past week and waited for his time to come to speak to Thea. Dani went in and out, healers went in and out, and the day stretched on.
“Camael.”
Cam looked up. An Angel of the Order stood before him. “Yes?”
“You have been summoned by the Thrones.” The Angel held out a piece of paper.
Cam’s heart jumped to his mouth. The mating. He’d forgotten all about it. He got to his feet. “They’ve decided on the mating?” he asked, his chest tightening.
The Angel squinted his eyes and shrugged. Cam nodded, feeling idiotic. Of course he wouldn’t know what the summons was about.
Cam broke the seal and read the summons. The Thrones wanted to see him immediately. He wasn’t on an assignment so there was no reason for them to give him advanced notice, but still, a jagged annoyance shot through him. He glanced at Thea’s door. He was desperate to see her. The healers hadn’t yet said she was awake but part of him wanted to talk to her before he went to the meeting, make sure she was still okay with it.
And yet, the request about them mating had already been made. The Thrones had an answer for them, whether Thea had changed her mind or not. And truthfully, this worked in his favor. Yes, it was selfish, but so what? Zak was right. The Creator had made them natural mates, and if the Thrones agreed to their mating, which they had no reason not to now, then all that was left was to convince Thea he wasn’t the monster she had seen. Any doubts she had, he would make sure they disappeared. Zak had a plan, and Cam trusted him.
He left the healing temple, shifted and flew to the Thrones’ Sanctum.
As he entered the entrance corridor, the familiar angel that always met him there led him back to the same green door. He nodded his thanks and braced himself, trying to calm the nerves jumping around in his veins. Thea was proven to be a Nephilim, albeit a powerful one. There was no reason for them to refuse their mating now.
He entered the room.
Everything looked the same as it was before, except three different Throne angels sat behind the table. Again, they were all blonde and all looked similar, but Cam didn’t care enough this time to try and differentiate between them. He just wanted his answer.
As he stepped into the room, he started as he saw three other angels sat on one side of the room. He paused. This was unusual. He wasn’t aware of anyone having an audience when they went to see the Thrones.
“Don’t worry about them,” one of the Thrones said. “Please come in.”
Cam continued walking toward them, but noticed there was no chair for him. So he stood, his hands clasped before him.
“Camael,” said the middle Throne. “You have been summoned here as you are now under investigation for the sin of Wrath. If you are found guilty, your wings will be taken and you will Fall. Is that understood?”
Shock slammed hard into Cam. No. No, no, no, no, no. They weren’t the Dominion League. They couldn’t do this. Not now. “What?” was all he could say, his voice dull and flat.
“You attacked the Nephilim, Elithea, under the influence of a vengeful rage,” the same Throne said. “It became clear, after looking at the site of the attack, that your behavior and conduct has been deeply inappropriate and unbefitting of a Power angel.”
“I did not attack Thea,” Cam spat, every muscle in his body tensing. “It was an accident. I would never hurt her.”
“Not in your right mind,” said the Throne on the right. “However, you were not in your right mind, were you?”
“I do not report to you about my duties,” Cam growled.
“The Dominion League are right there,” the Throne on the left gestured to the angels watching. “You may say whatever you need to say about your assignment.”
Cam spun around to look at the three angels again. He did indeed recognize them. Gzrel, Laylah, and a female angel with red hair. Their faces were blank; it looked like they had schooled expressions—keen not to give any indication of their feelings about what was happening.
How did they all know?
“You were not in your right mind, were you?” the Throne repeated.
“The Legion task force are all dead, aren't they?” Cam said, rounding on them. “That’s what you wanted, isn’t it? The Angel Realm is safe once more.”
“At the expense of the Nephilim, Elithea.”
Cam clenched his hands. “Her name is Thea. She prefers to be called Thea, not ‘the Nephilim Elithea.’ You weren’t even that keen on her the last time I came here. Now you’re worried about her?”
“We are concerned about all the angels that exist,” said the Throne on the left. “That does not exclude Nephilim. The fact that you nearly destroyed one of the Creator’s most unique beings is a concern—”
“I did not intend it!” Cam shouted. “I love her.”
“You will watch your tone while you’re addressing us, Camael,” the Throne in the middle said, his voice cold and sharp.
There was a silence while Cam glared at them. “She is my natural mate,” he began.
“She is not,” said the Throne on the right. “Nothing would have caused you to attack your natural mate the way you did her.”
Cam grit his teeth. “It was only because—”
“Silence!” the Throne in the middle called out. “With the Dominion League as our witness, you will be confined until the investigation is complete. If you do not comply, we will take your wings immediately. Do you understand?”
“I want to see Thea,” Cam said immediately.
The Throne in the middle narrowed his eyes. “There is no possible way of that happening, Camael.”
“Fuck you! You cannot keep me from her,” Camael roared. He turned to the door but a number of Power angels poured into the room, blocking the way to the door.
He steadied himself, preparing to fight his way through.
“Camael,” boomed one of the Thrones. He sounded as though he had stood up. “You have a choice. You walk into your cell, or you are dragged straight to get your wings ripped from your back.”
Cam considered fighting, but as more Powers entered the room, his heart sank. There was no way he’d get anywhere near Thea. He cursed himself that he didn’t see her when he had the chance. The best he could do was comply and hope the investigation gave him more time. Still, a hot disappointment bounced around within him.
He stood still, waiting to be taken. The Thrones must have given a signal behind his back because the Powers surrounded him and took him deeper into the Sanctum to a large glass room. Cam stepped inside and, as they closed the door, a stiff energy surrounded his body and pulled him up into the center of the room, holding him in midair, his arms outstretched and his legs apart. He had heard of this. It was a Power-proof cell. The energy around him wouldn’t allow him to shift or in any way make use of the gifts the Creator had given him. He couldn’t see outside the room, all the walls reflected back on him. All he could see was the broken angel that had gotten carried away and nearly killed the woman he loved.
He let out an angry roar that almost choked him. He was missing his meeting with Thea. She was the only one that could lift the guilt that was consuming him and now he may never see her. What would she think when he didn’t come? Would her negative feelings about him spiral out of control? The last memory she would have of him was him hurting her, of his violence with the demons. The memory of her wincing away from him cut into Cam like the knife he had cut her with. It almost made him physically ache just to think about it.
But that was all that was left now. His memories. He lifted his head to the glass ceiling, only to see his face looking back at him. He closed his eyes and thought of Thea. He may never hold her again, never kiss or make love to her. Even if he made it out of this, it could take centuries for her to trust him again, even if they mated, and the idea of that hurt worse than anything.
He growled in the back of his throat at what he was losing, lost in thoughts of Thea. He went through each memory with her, picking at them until they were fresh and raw in his head. Touching her, kissing her, feeling her clench around him, her taste, the smile in her eyes, her laugh, her sexy glare…
As time went on, those memories would be the only comfort he would have in that cell, the only thing he had left to live for now that he had almost certainly lost her. Cam hoped with fierce desperation that he would get to hold onto those memories, no matter what his sentence ended up being. But there was only one way he knew for sure he could do that. He sighed and closed his eyes. Reaching out, he connected to the Stream.
End of Book Two
Thank you for reading Ruined by Power! If you enjoyed the story, please take a minute to leave a review on Goodreads and Amazon. Your review will help new readers decide if the book is for them. Reviews are crucial in helping to spread the word and I’d be grateful for your time if you could spare a moment :)
Cam and Thea’s story continues and concludes in the third book of the series, Awakened By Power, which releases in August 2017. for a reminder email.
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