Chapter Ten

Hannah

I don’t get fate. It was twisted and played games. I could never predict it. Fate had me facing down breast cancer. Fate had me in love with a man that would never feel the same. Fate had me questioning everything in my life. Fate had me questioning the way I lived my life. The relationships I had, the friendships I had. I questioned all of it.

And it would seem my enemy fate was pulling another trick on me as I stared at Brad. How the hell did he know I was here? I’d paid cash for the room.

“Um, what are you doing here?” I finally found words after staring at him for a solid minute, taking in his worn vest and clean clothes. His jeans didn’t have grease stains on them. His top wasn’t covered in blood, grease or dirt.

I frowned. He looked like he had put effort in.

“Are you by yourself?” he asked and shoved his hands in his pockets like the answer to that question meant more to him than it should.

“Nah, Tatz is in the shower.”

I saw his expression drop as if I had just confirmed his worst nightmare.

“Just kidding. I’m by myself.” I opened the door up wider and couldn’t stop the grin when his expression hardened. “What do you want, Brad? How did you find me?”

I sure as hell didn’t tell him where I was and doubted Layla had told him.

He leaned against the doorframe. “Put a tracker on your phone.” He shrugged like it wasn’t a big deal.

“You did what!?” I couldn’t believe he would violate my privacy like that. “How could you do that to me?” God, what if he had tracked me going to the hospital? Was that why he was here? To find out the reason I went there twice a day?

“Calm down. I’m the only one who can track it.” He reached out and tucked my hair behind my ear. “Haven’t seen you since you dropped that bomb about Tatz.”

“So you thought you would just track me down?” I snapped at him. I loved my privacy. “Has Dad been watching where I’ve been going?” It dawned on me that Dad would know he had put a tracker on my phone. Could fate be that twisted that my secret was already out and I didn’t know it?

“No, only me.”

“So, get to it then.” I was ready for his questions about why I was living at a hospital. I crossed my arms, and couldn’t stop my glare from forming.

He frowned. “Get to what?”

“You’ve been…” I clamped my mouth shut. Maybe he didn’t know? It wasn’t like I was going directly to the hospital. It was close to it though. It was the cancer clinic. Maybe he hadn’t put two and two together.

I looked at him a bit harder. Yeah, he didn’t know. If he knew he would be questioning me now. He would be demanding answers. Not standing here asking if I was alone or not.

“Why are you here, Brad?” My mind was slowly calming down after having a full-on panic attack.

“Wanted to see you.” He stared down at me. “Been trying to see you all week but you’re never home.”

“Why?” I didn’t understand why he would want to see me. Why would he want to see me? I didn’t see why, but he was looking at me like the answer was obvious.

“Been meaning to thank you.” He pulled his hand out of his pocket and scratched the back of his neck. “About what you did last weekend.”

“What did I do?”

“You lied to your dad. I would have taken the beating. I deserved it for touching you.”

“Well, like I said, you regretted it. No point you dying over it.” I wasn’t doing regrets. But I got that he did. I saw it on his face as soon as he realized what he had done.

He took his hand off the back of his neck and the nervous expression that had been on his face dropped and a serious one took its place. “I don’t.” He stepped forward, sounding extremely determined; his hand spreading across my cheek, cupping my face. “I don’t regret it.”

I could tell by his tone, his expression and his body language that he meant it. He didn’t regret it. He didn’t regret kissing me. I was shocked. I couldn’t believe that Brad was looking at me the way he was looking at me right now.

My mouth dropped open slowly as my mind ran over those facts. Had he really just said that? Right now he was looking like it was taking all his willpower to not kiss me.

He was acting like all week he’d been waiting to see me to tell me just that. To tell me he didn’t regret it. The Brad I knew would never admit to kissing me—or better yet, say he didn’t regret it. Surely he didn’t see me the way I saw him?

The way I saw his every highlight. I was in love with everything about him; I had been for a long time now. He was the first guy I had a crush on and, as time went past, that crush never went away; it went from a crush, to lust, to yearning, and then to love.

I realized that as my feelings only grew stronger for him. Weeks, months, years—all had me wanting him more not less.

When he touched me, I loved it. When he looked at me, like I was special, I loved it. And for some reason, I didn’t know why, but he would make an extra special effort with me. He would always sit next to me at family dinners.

Often during the week I would binge-watch television shows in his room. Dad never seemed to mind. I would even sleep on Brad’s couch some nights after staying up late with him. Again, nobody questioned it. Because Brad and I had a friendship that had this underlying level of respect. Everyone saw our friendship and no one ever said it was unhealthy.

It was my feelings toward him that made it unhealthy. But I was a good actress. I could pretend to him that our friendship was only that to me: a friendship.

But for years it had been more. Well, more to me.

My eyes ran over him again as he stood in the doorway, watching me. Was he waiting for me to freak out after he said he didn’t regret it? Was he waiting for my reaction?

What I was about to do next would take courage and I was finding myself needing my courage more and more every day. But somehow—I didn’t know how—I did have courage. Over the years it must have grown and now I counted on it every day. And right now in this moment, I was counting on it to help me again.

“Do you want to come in?” I asked, suddenly feeling nervous. “I was about to order food.” Was that stepping over a line? He had just admitted he didn’t regret kissing me. But at the same time, I knew he wouldn’t take it further than a kiss. So inviting him in wouldn’t end terribly, would it?

“When did you last eat, cause there is barely anything left of you.” He didn’t hide his disapproval. His hand went from my face and ran down my side, stopping on my hip. “Wasn’t planning on staying, sweetheart. Just wanted to see you.”

He stepped forward and kissed my forehead. I knew then I wasn’t letting him go. Even if it wasn’t the right thing to do.

My hands gripped his vest. “Come in.” I looked up at him. “Please?” I would beg if I had to. Suddenly a night alone wasn’t what I wanted. I wanted to be with Brad. I knew he didn’t love me like I did. But still, his friendship, well, that was something that was making me have courage.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“I’ll behave, I promise.”

“Sweetheart, I’m the one who can’t behave.” His hand moved slightly on my hip and I saw him swallow sharply when his thumb touched my skin. “I should really go.”

He was saying that with regret on his face. I was going to have to use that to my advantage. If he didn’t want to go then that meant there was a part of him that wanted to stay here with me. In a private hotel room, so far away from the eyes that watched us every day.

“Or you could stay? Make sure I eat?” I went up on my toes, “Come on, Brad. I’ll be on my best behavior.”

My best behavior? Wasn’t sure if I could do that but I would try if that meant he stayed.

He was thinking about it. I smiled. And then before he made up his mind, I took his other hand and slowly pulled him in. I felt like a black widow spider pulling her prey into her web. He groaned, “Can you at least put more clothes on?”

I smiled. He said that like me in shorts and a singlet was killing him. He lifted our linked hands up and then kissed the back of my hand.

“So, do you want anything to eat?” I asked, slightly breathless by how sweet that was. He kissed my hand like I was special. Special to him.

His brown eyes locked with mine. And I saw he was keeping something from me. An emotion. Whatever it was he was making sure I didn’t see it.

My eyes ran over the vice president patch over his heart. That meant he was loyal to Dad. Brad wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize that. I was young. I was the Reaper’s daughter. No sane man would come near me.

Plus I had cancer. I wouldn’t leave a trail of people grieving me behind. So I unlinked our hands.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, taking my withdrawal as a sign I didn’t want him touching me. Which was the opposite.

“Nothing.” I gave him a smile. It was a fake smile but I was giving fake smiles out a lot now. “Food. Do you want some?”

“Nah, I’ll just be happy to see you eat.”

With him looking like that, it was making me hungry but not for food. I swallowed sharply, ripping my eyes off his toned body. I swear he lived to get his body at best performance. He and Dad always spotted each other in the gym on the weights.

I was rarely in the gym because I hated exercise. But I would make up excuses to go see Dad when he worked out because Brad would be there with no top on, showing off his tattooed body.

Brad had the best tattoos. Not ones just done in prison but ones done by real artists. His tattoos had detail and they flowed with a theme. I would get lost looking at the detail in his tattoos. They were so perfect. Like the see no, hear no, speak no evil one that was scrolled across his chest with skulls.

Also, the loyalty to the club showed on his body. Not just the scars but in his tattoos too. The Satan’s Sons tattoo was proudly on his back. The Satan’s Sons logo was also worked into his sleeves.

He loved the club. Which was why I knew he would never do anything to risk losing it. I was a risk. He loved the club and Dad way too much to be with me.

I was underage. I was young. I was everything he didn’t want. I also had cancer and who the hell would want to be with me?

I forced myself to smile at him. Yeah, the fact that I had cancer rolled through my mind again. Nobody would want to be with me.

“Right, well, I’m ordering you food anyway. I hate eating to begin with. So if I’m eating, then you are too.” I settled it. He was eating. And I wasn’t eating alone like planned. I turned my back to him and picked the menu up.

“What do you have the heater on in here to? A hundred?”

I always felt the cold. “You know I feel the cold.”

“It’s the middle of summer, Hannah.”

I shrugged. I don’t know why I always felt cold but I did. So normally I was rugged up. But considering I wasn’t planning on anyone else being in this room with me, I’d turned the heating up.

I couldn’t turn the heating up at home because it was central heating and everyone would complain about what I turned it to.

His arms wrapped around me and he pulled me back to his chest. It didn’t feel weird. And I knew he wasn’t doing it because he loved me or something. He was doing it because Brad and I were always close.

I would sit on his lap at club parties. I would let him put his arm around me when we were in the clubhouse. Dad never picked up on the fact that I liked it and to me it meant more than just a friendship. But Dad would never think I would fall for a man like him.

He saw Brad’s attention to me as innocent and that was what it was. Innocent. So right now, as he placed a kiss on my shoulder, I didn’t look into it more, he was just doing what was natural. Though he didn’t normally kiss me on the shoulder like that.

“So, what you getting?” he asked. “And are you going to explain why you are in a hotel room instead of at home?”

Nope. I was not explaining that because the reason I was here was so that I wouldn’t be forced to lie to my family about having a full week of radiation.

“I’m getting everything and that’s a mystery.” I turned in his arm and looked back at him. “One I’m not explaining to you.”

“Your whole life to me at this point is a mystery.” He said that like he hated it. Hated not knowing where I was. Or who I was with. “Did you really have tea with Tatz or did you make that up?”

I frowned. Why did he sound so interested in the answer? As if that question had been running through his mind since I told Dad that.

“I have tea with him a lot.” Tatz was always at Layla’s. We had tea together last night. Wasn’t like it was just us. Layla’s family was there. It was a bit like Brad with our family. Brad was always around. Always at family dinners. He was just part of the family.

Mum and Dad trusted him. Loved him.

Tatz was looked upon as family in Layla’s family.

“It’s not just him and I though. Layla’s family is with us.” I felt like I needed to add that when I saw his expression.

Why was he looking so furious?

“Does he sit next to you?” Brad was furious. I just didn’t understand why. God, I had never seen him look at me with such anger. His tone dripped with fury, and the look on his face! I couldn’t explain it.

“Um, yeah, I guess.” I frowned, not understanding the importance of it. Why did it matter if Tatz sat next to me or not?

“Your dad was right about him.” Brad’s hands stilled on my back and gripped me. “I want you to stay away from him.”

“From Tatz?”

“Yep.”

“No.” I was not having this argument with him. “And don’t ask me to do that. You and I are….” Friends? Though a friend shouldn’t be looking with such jealousy at me. I shook my head. “Tatz is a friend. That’s it. Like you and me.”

“So you let him kiss you?”

“No!”

“You just said he is a friend like you and me.”

I sighed, frustrated. “I get you are being protective like Dad, but I’m fine. Tatz won’t hurt me.” I would never let anyone get close enough to hurt me. “So stop looking at me like that.”

His eyes darkened and he didn’t drop the expression. The expression that was telling me he was extremely jealous and pissed off about it. Did he really think I would let anyone touch me the way he does? I didn’t understand what was making him be so protective. He was looking at me like I was his or something and I was violating some unspoken rule we had.

I didn’t harass him about women he saw. I didn’t point out that he only slept with women he liked. I didn’t feel the need to remind him that I thought him sleeping with Andrea disgusted me.

Yeah, it really disgusted me. Angered me. But I let it go. Because Brad wasn’t mine to get jealous over and I wasn’t his.

“It’s not like I’m your girlfriend, so stop looking at me like I’m cheating on you or something!” I said, frustrated with the expression he was giving me. “It’s not like I’m in love with Tatz!” The only man that I looked at with love was him. And I loved him more than a friend should.

“Tatz is worse with women than your brother.”

“I know, Dad told me that.” I snapped. God, I wasn’t even in a relationship with Tatz. All we did was talk and laugh and he treated me like I wasn’t the daughter of the Reaper. “Tatz is good to me. He makes me laugh. He always makes me eat at tea. Even when I don’t want to. And he and I have the same taste in movies.”

“So you watch movies with him now?” His jealousy went up a level. Just when I thought this situation couldn’t get worse and he couldn’t be more jealous. Well, I was proven wrong by his tone.

I groaned. “Why are you making this such a big deal?”

“I don’t want anyone touching you.” He said that like it was a law. Well, I had news for him. Doctors were touching me all the time at the moment.

“Well, we don’t all get what we want, do we?” I said bitterly. I didn’t get him not being with Andrea. I had to put up with it. I have always had to put up with seeing him with other women. The only time he didn’t have a woman around him was when he came to the house for family dinners.

“What do you want that you don’t get?”

“Nothing.” I was not telling him about my jealousy over him and other women. Nope. Not happening.

“I’ll make sure you get it. If you make a promise not to let Tatz become your boyfriend.”

I rolled my eyes, finding this whole thing ridiculous. “I’m not promising anything.”

His expression hardened. “Because you like him.”

I found myself groaning again. “What is with you tonight?” I didn’t see why he wanted to pick a fight with me. “I told Dad to trust me. You have to trust me, too. You can’t just expect me to block every man out of my life because you think I’m some weak female that will get her heart broken.”

Which is what they were saying by forcing men out of my life. Like I was incapable of looking after myself. Like I would willingly follow any man around like some lovesick puppy.

“Hannah, you are gorgeous. Men notice. I’m not saying you are weak. I’m saying I don’t trust a man like Tatz not to make a move.” His hands moved up my back. “I’m not around their club to protect you from men like Tatz.”

“I don’t need protecting to begin with.”

“Yeah, you do.”

“No, I don’t.”

“I won’t have you getting hurt. Tatz hurts women. He won’t be hurting you.”

I crossed my arms, looking up at him. “Am I going to have to threaten you? Like I did Dad? So you won’t dare scare Tatz away?”

He clamped his mouth shut. His expression gave me my answer. Yeah, I had a strong feeling I would have to threaten him.

“You so much as threaten one man away from me and I will personally cut you out of my life. Your friendship means a lot to me, Brad. So don’t make me do it.” I brushed his hands off my back and walked around him, sitting on the edge of the bed. “I don’t understand why you would think I’d go for a man like him to begin with.”

Brad turned and I watched him walk toward me. I ran my hand through my hair just as he knelt down in front of me, his hands running up my bare legs. “Because he’s a criminal, a biker?” His words came out like those two reasons would stop me from being with someone who was a criminal and biker. How wrong was he?

My hand went to his cheek. I leaned in closer to him. “Because he’s not you.” My words were soft but I knew he heard them.

His hands stilled on my thighs. And his hardened expression dropped. He was shocked. And it made me smile—a real smile. Brad always saw everything coming, so he wasn’t usually shocked by anything because he was always expecting it. But clearly he wasn’t expecting me to say that.

“So, can we drop the subject of Tatz?” I asked, keeping my hand on his cheek. He knew I wasn’t lying. I was easy to read when I wanted to be. He didn’t move or say a word and I sighed. “Brad? Can we drop the subject?”

“Because he’s not me…” He repeated my words with a shocked expression on his face. Was he saying that to himself or to me? Because I knew what I’d said.

My fingers ran across his unshaven jaw. I waited for him to calm down because it looked like the shock had disappeared and he had gone into a panic mode. I hoped he wasn’t thinking I was about to become clingy because I’d said that. I sighed, watching his expression. He would be thinking the worse.

“Maybe you should go,” I said, my fingers freezing on his skin. “You look like you want to be anywhere but here.” I shouldn’t have told him the truth. “Just go, Brad.” I was letting him off the hook. “Seriously. I’m fine, you know that now. You don’t have to stay.”

I wasn’t fine though. I stopped being fine when I found out I had cancer. I stopped being okay. I stopped being happy. I stopped everything. Everything I showed now was a front. Which was why I was finding it hard to put a front on in front of him. My front had dropped for a second when I said Tatz wasn’t him and he was the reason I wasn’t interested in anyone else. I should have kept that to myself—hell, I had for so long now.

I went to get up but his hands were planted on my sides and he forced me to stay in front of him.

The look in his eyes, if I could explain it, I would have to say it was pleasure mixed with happiness and maybe a dose of love as well. I didn’t know what he was feeling but clearly it was intense.

His hands were gripping my sides and his thumbs were on my ribcage as he ran his hands down over me. “I know it’s wrong but I want to remain the reason you keep men away.” His grip on me tightened and he nearly lifted me off the bed but all he was doing was pulling me toward him. “It’s selfish. I know that.”

It was like I was everything he wanted but everything he didn’t want at the same. Like he was a junkie and he loved the idea of getting high off me, but he didn’t want the addiction.

“You don’t really want that,” I said and my hands gripped his arms. “And I don’t expect you to want that,” I added with a sigh. “Brad, just because I said you are the reason doesn’t mean I want you to…” My words dried up as I tried to explain what I wanted to say. Finally I cleared my throat. “I don’t expect anything from you.”

That said it all, didn’t it? Somehow in my weird way that I’d gone about it, I’d expressed my feelings. Just because I did it still didn’t mean a thing. That was my issue. Not his.

His phone started ringing. And it was perfect timing, because I knew it would give him an excuse to leave before it got awkward for him, if it hadn’t already.

“You should get that,” I said, giving him the excuse he needed to escape.

He shook his head, looking more determined than ever to not answer. “Nah, fuck that. Last time, you left me when I did.”

“I left because it was late and you had someone waiting for you.”

“You’ve been avoiding me since that night.”

Well that wasn’t a lie. I sighed. “I didn’t want you to feel awkward.” That was the truth.

His eyes flashed to his faded mark and then locked with mine. Pain and frustration covered his brown eyes. “And you think me not seeing you is better? Hannah, knowing you’ve been with Tatz hasn’t left my head. I fucked up a motor because I was thinking about it!”

I frowned. Brad never fucked anything up, especially when it came to cars and motors. Why did a little thing like who I was spending time with matter to him so much? He only looked at me as a friend. A friend shouldn’t be making mistakes because they’re so stuck on how another friend spends their time. I wasn’t his girlfriend, sister or lover. He shouldn’t have gotten upset over a little thing like me having dinner with someone else.

I was curious on how he could fuck a motor up. Brad knew motors better than anyone. “How did you fuck up the motor?” I asked.

“Put the wrong oil in it. It was a client’s car, too, which made it worse.” He took a hand off me and ran it through his hair. “Reaper hasn’t shut up about it. It was a rookie mistake.”

“Sorry,” I smiled. “You should have just called me and I would have told you nothing was happening with Tatz.”

“I was tempted. But then I realized you didn’t have to explain yourself to me. I’ve got no right to expect you to tell me shit.”

“You do have a right.” I began to run my fingers down his jaw and he didn’t push me away. “I’m always honest with you.” Apart from the whole cancer thing. But that was very personal. I wasn’t telling anyone but Layla.

My doctors wanted my parents’ consent to begin treatment and I signed it on my parents’ behalf. Didn’t regret it. The radiation lady hadn’t questioned on why my parents hadn’t come for the first week of treatment. Maybe it was because everyone knew that my proud self-promoted sister was in the waiting room.

How anyone could think Layla and I were related I didn’t know. She had raven-black hair and chocolate brown eyes, whereas I’m a blonde and have blue eyes. We were opposites. But only a sister would show the type of love she was giving me.

“I don’t expect that of you, Hannah.” His words were low. “It’s selfish of me to expect that of you.”

“Your phone is ringing again.” I could hear it. “And you aren’t expecting it of me. I am doing it. There is a difference.” I moved my head closer to his and kissed his cheek. “Answer your phone, Brad. I’m not going anywhere.”

Suddenly, I was feeling tired. Maybe that whole exhaustion thing was kicking in? Brad barked a hello in the phone, sounding very rude. I whacked his arm. You don’t answer a phone like that!

He rolled his eyes at me, knowing exactly why I hit him.

“What, Andrea?” he said into the phone.

Oh. It was her. I sighed and pushed his hand off me and got up. I did not want to overhear his conversation. She most likely was waiting for him and wanting to know where he was. It wasn’t like Brad to not be at the club.

I was surprised he left it to begin with.

I picked up the menu. Okay, I had my order. I went to the iPad which was in the room and placed my order. I jumped when his arm wrapped around me.

“I’m with someone, Andrea, so don’t wait for me.” He pulled me back to his chest. “I don’t know if I’m coming back tonight.”

Was there a chance I could convince him to stay with me? Sharing a bed with Brad. That would have to be the highlight of my week. After the shit week I’d had, I would love nothing more than to have him here for the night.

I turned in his arms, wrapping my arms around his neck. I went up on my toes and kissed his cheek. I wondered what I would have to say to convince him to stay.

I pulled my lips from his cheek and he was quick to turn and dip his head and kiss my lips. As soon as his lips touched mine a spark flooded my body. I loved Brad and him kissing me meant a hell of a lot more to me than being healthy.

His lips were soft and welcoming. I wanted more, so I slowly ran my tongue along his bottom lip, hoping he would deepen the kiss. He didn’t though; he pulled away and flooded my body with disappointment.

“I’m with someone important, Andrea.” He was still on the phone. Right. I had forgotten about that. “Yeah, it is a woman.”

I tilted my head; was he calling me important?

He held my eyes. “Yes, more important than you.” He meant that, too. I heard it in his voice. I was stunned. He thought I was more important than his somewhat girlfriend?

He didn’t mean that. “You can go, Brad.” I unwrapped my arms from around his neck. I didn’t want him getting in trouble with Andrea over me. I wasn’t important. He had got that wrong. Andrea was way more important than me.

He didn’t have to stay out of obligation.

“Seriously, go,” I whispered to him. His eyes were locked on me and I went to step out of his embrace but his hand pushed me back into his chest.

“Actually, I’m not coming back tonight. I’m staying with her,” he said determinedly and held my eyes. He was serious right now. “Yeah, I am picking her over you. You’ll get over it.”

My eyes widened. “Don’t do that, Brad!” I whisper-yelled at him.

I could hear her yelling at him.

“Brad, take that back!” I gave him some advice. You don’t piss off a woman like Andrea and get away with it. “Tell her you didn’t mean it!”

“Yeah, I did mean that, Andrea.” He ignored me completely. Was he stupid? He looked at me again. “Yeah, she is.”

I was what? Was he talking about the important thing again because that was a lie. “Tell her you didn’t mean it,” I repeated. “And I’m not more important!”

His hand moved up my back. “She is fucking beautiful. So you’re wrong.”

What was he playing at? I frowned up at him, not understanding. And then he kissed my cheek. I was somewhat shocked by what he had just said. He just called me beautiful. Compared to the women he was used to like Andrea, I did not make the cut.

He kissed my shocked lips. I didn’t automatically kiss him back. He wrapped his arm around me and lifted me up, walking us back to the table and sitting me on it. His lips didn’t break from mine. I could still hear her yelling at him.

He didn’t seem to care. Then my shock was gone. And the situation I was in registered in my head. My hands went to his vest and I started to pull it off. He was kissing me gently and soft and slowly. I was the desperate one. I was the one picking up the pace. He let me push his vest down one arm and then he let me push it down the other, moving his phone from ear to ear while being yelled at by Andrea.

His vest dropped to the floor. His mouth moved off mine and I groaned as soon as he pulled away. Then his lips were back on me, slowly going down my neck. I arched my neck, enjoying this way too much.

He was way more experienced than me. His reached his mark and he kissed it at first and then started to suck, like he was marking his claim on me again.

God, I wanted him to claim me. But he was way out of my league. I knew I looked older than I was, I was mature for my age, but I had a feeling those two factors wouldn’t factor into him claiming me. He just wouldn’t do it. I knew that, but a moan still escaped my lips as he sucked harder.

He pulled away, leaving me breathless. “Andrea, don’t fucking drag Reaper into this. He doesn’t know who she is. So you can’t kill her.” He looked me in the eye, looking furious but this time his anger wasn’t directed at me. “Threaten her one more time. I fucking dare you.” He hissed into the phone, sounding terrifying.

He was taking her threats seriously. Clearly she was threatening to kill me or physically harm me for being with him. And he wasn’t taking it lightly. He was putting up with her yelling at him. But it seemed as soon as she started to threaten me his temper snapped.

I sighed. There was no point in him getting worked up. “Just tell her you’re sorry,” I said in his ear. “Or just tell her you are with me. She will know then that it’s harmless.”

It was harmless what we were doing. Right? He looked at me like that was last thing he would be doing.

Couldn’t he see he was getting her worked up over nothing? Come tomorrow he would be going back to her.

“Fine, destroy my shit. Go for your life!” he yelled into the phone.

This was ridiculous. I snatched the phone from his ear, catching the beginning of her rant about throwing his shit in one of the pit fires at the clubhouse.

“Hey Andrea, it’s Hannah,” I said into the phone, cutting her off.

“Hannah?”

“Yeah. Look, I roped Brad into looking after me for the night. Sorry he’s in a foul mood. That’s completely my fault.” I pushed Brad’s hand away as he attempted to take the phone.

“So, you’re with him, not some slut?” She was concerned. She must really like him.

“Just me.”

She was silent for a second. She knew I didn’t lie. I heard her sigh. “Tell him I won’t burn his shit. I didn’t mean to put him in a position where he had to pick between you and me.”

“You didn’t. Like I said, I put him in a foul mood.”

“Still, I know how much he cares for you. Tell him I’m sorry.”

“You are his girlfriend, so you come first.” I pushed Brad’s hand away again. “I’ll give Brad back the phone and you two can make up.”

“Thanks, Hannah.” She sounded really relieved.

I covered the end of the phone so she couldn’t hear me. “Be nice. She’s your girlfriend,” I said before handing the phone back to him.

He was glaring at me. He held the phone in his hand for a few seconds before putting it to his ear. He was listening to whatever she was saying.

As much as a large part of me didn’t want it, I knew they had to make up. He cared about her. I knew that. Brad didn’t waste time with people he didn’t care about. He didn’t use girls. He would only sleep with ones he had feelings for. And he would always show he cared for her too from protecting her from other members, to fixing her car or supporting them financially. That was Brad for you. You could always count on him. So it didn’t matter what I felt for him. At the end of the day he had a woman like Andrea who wanted to be with him, and a part of him wanted to be with her.

As much as I hated it, I accepted it. I guess that’s the core factor of love, isn’t it? Letting someone you really love go to lead a better life.

Because what sort of life could I offer him? I couldn’t be his girlfriend or woman. Dad would never allow that. And Brad wouldn’t want that. As if he would want some underage teenager. And on top of that, even if he did want me, if there was such a miracle, well, there was another reason for us not to be together. And that was that I had cancer.

I couldn’t offer him anything.

So I hoped he was taking my advice and making up with a woman he could have a future with.

He held my eyes and I saw anger. “Hannah will always come first.” He was still holding my eyes and what I saw the most surprised me. I saw honesty. Like he really meant I would always come first. “Now get the fuck out of my room.” With that said he hung up and dropped the phone on the table.

I was slightly taken back by what he’d said but more with how he ended that call. “Geez, you really know how to treat a girl.” I looked at him, slightly stunned. The Brad I knew wasn’t rude. He sure as hell wasn’t mean. “She could have taken you seriously.”

“I was serious.”

“Brad, you can’t seriously put me first. That’s ridiculous. I’m just someone you have to put up with.”

His angry eyes narrowed at me. “You really think that’s all you mean to me?”

There was a knock at the door which gave me the perfect excuse to avoid his question. Of course that’s what I thought. I didn’t understand why he was kissing me to begin with. Kissing me like I was important. Kissing me like I wasn’t some nobody. Kissing me like I was his.

It didn’t make sense.

I moved off the table and went for the door, leaving his question unanswered.

I opened the door and accepted the food. God, those chips smelt amazing. I was very satisfied with my decision to get chips.

I smiled to the guy and made polite chitchat and then closed the door. Turning around, I was slightly scared when I saw the expression on Brad’s face. I gulped. Okay, it looked like he wasn’t going to stop till I answered him.

So much for hoping he would forget about it. I walked to the table, putting my food down.

“Hannah, is that what you really think?” Brad was still standing but now crossing his arms.

I pulled out a chair and sat down. I was not answering his question. I could feel his eyes on me. They were glaring holes into the side of my face.

“Hannah, answer the fucking question!”

I turned to face him, not surprised to see him looking at me with such anger and frustration.

“Yes,” I gave him his answer. “You are putting up with me. I just don’t get why. Dad doesn’t expect you to be here looking after me. Dad doesn’t expect you to put me before your girlfriend. I’m just some nobody, Brad.” And that summed up how I saw him seeing me. “And you should really learn that girlfriends come before obligations.”

“You think I think of you as an obligation?” He looked at me like I couldn’t be serious. But I was serious. Deadly serious.

“How else would you explain how you treat me?” He and I had some relationship. I couldn’t explain what we had. He always made time for me. He would drop what he was doing to help me. He always has. “Cause I can’t think of one other reason why you would stop what you were doing tonight to hunt me down.” And that was the honest truth.

He shook his head, like the answer was obvious. Like there was another reason but he wasn’t about to tell me it.

He looked frustrated and furious again. He looked me back in the eye. “That’s what you think, then?”

I nodded my head. Yep, that pretty much summed up what I thought he thought of me. I put a chip in my mouth and I was expecting him to storm out. I didn’t see what over, though. I had just stated facts.

“You got a better explanation for the way you treat me?” I asked, because he wasn’t exactly barking facts at me like I was wrong. “Or did I hit it on the head?”

He blew out a heated breath and looked so frustrated that if he was made out of bolts and screws they would all be blowing off. He looked up from glaring at the carpet. “You’ve just told Andrea that we’re spending the night together!”

He made it sound like I had signed his death warrant or something.

“Why is that a bad thing?” My eyebrows knitted together. He and I always spent time together. If Andrea knew it was me he was blowing her off for then she would be more likely to welcome him with open arms tomorrow.

“I CAN’T KEEP MY HANDS OFF YOU!” he yelled at me, running both hands through his hair. “I CAN’T STOP TOUCHING YOU!” He shook his head again, it was like I was a drug he wanted a hit off but at the same didn’t want the danger of an overdose.

I sighed. He had always touched me. Maybe he was acting like this because he knew I liked him. Yep, that would have to be it. I chewed a chip and saw only one option. “I started it. I’m sorry.”

“Stop saying sorry for shit that I’ve done! I’m the one kissing you, pinning you against a gate and fucking marking your neck! You aren’t doing shit! It’s all me!”

I clamped my mouth shut. Okay then. I was waiting for regret to capture his face. But instead he just looked pissed off. Not with me, but with himself. He thought he couldn’t keep his hands off me? I was the one forcing him to touch me.

“It is my fault, Brad.” I got up and walked toward him. “I started it. So stop hating yourself.” I placed my hand on his chest, right next to his holster strap. “How about we go back to that rule about not being alone together?”

Which meant he would be leaving. I smiled dimly at that. I didn’t want him to leave but I knew he couldn’t live with himself if he stayed. I took my hand off him.

“You should go. Go make up with Andrea.” Yep that was the only reasonable solution. “Tell her it was my fault. I don’t mind.”

He just stared down at me. I was making sense, right? I cupped his face. He looked so torn. “Just go, Brad.” I didn’t want him hating himself. “You’ll still be the reason I turn guys away. That won’t change. But you should go. Make up with your girlfriend. Don’t lose someone over me.”

He deserved a girl and he deserved happiness. I wasn’t exactly a walking ray of sunshine since I’d found out I had cancer. The fact that I had cancer rolled through me again, making me sick to my stomach. Suddenly, I wasn’t hungry anymore. Pity, those chips did smell good.

I pulled my hand from his face and he grabbed it. I frowned, not understanding. Then he placed it over his heart.

“She’s not my girlfriend.”

“Well, whatever you call her then.” I didn’t see how that slight detail was important. “Your club woman then.”

“And you’re wrong.”

“What, about the girlfriend thing?” How was that slight detail important?

“No. About you turning down guys because of me.”

I didn’t understand and he looked at me a bit longer, realizing I was confused.

“I’m going to be doing it personally.” He stepped toward me, placing my hand on his heart. “I’m going to be scaring them off. You won’t need to keep turning them away because I’m going to make sure no one fucking dares.”

I frowned. Not really understanding. “And why would you do that?”

“Because I’m a greedy and selfish bastard.” He said that like it should answer all my questions. His eyes flashed to my neck. “From now on at every club party, I want you there and on my lap. Every dinner, same thing: you on my lap.”

“People will start questioning you on that.”

“I don’t give a fuck.”

“What about when my dad asks why I’m suddenly glued to you?”

“He knows you and I are close.”

“Yeah, as friends. But what you are describing doesn’t sound like you are doing it out of friendship.” Was I mishearing what he was trying to tell me? Because it sounded like he wanted me on him literally at every club party. Like I was his or something…was I misreading the situation?

He smirked, seeming pleased. “Good. You’re starting to get the picture.”

My eyes widened. “Um, no. No, I do not get the picture! We are not in a relationship. I’m not yours!” How could he even want that to begin with? I couldn’t stop my reaction. I was panicked. I was shocked and really confused over why he would want that.

“Not mine, hey?” He reached out, pushing my hair to the side. “That mark on your neck is telling a different story.”

Okay. I was not expecting that. I swallowed sharply as his fingers ran over his mark.

He lowered his mouth to my ear. “You saying you don’t arch your back when I’m claiming your mouth?” He kept my hand still over his heart. “You saying you don’t moan when I kiss you?”

I pulled my hand from under his and gripped his shoulders to help me keep standing, feeling tingly and nervous all at the same time. I gulped. Had he really taken that much notice?

This had gone from innocent to something else. I sure as hell hadn’t seen it coming. I was nervous. So very nervous, as his hands ran down my spine, and he pushed me into his chest.

“Still saying you aren’t mine?” His mouth was still at my ear.

He wanted me to be his? Surely not. He pulled his mouth from my ear and I saw his expression. He was serious right now. Deadly fucking serious.

“You don’t want that.” My voice was shaking with nerves. He couldn’t want that. I wasn’t a model like he was used to like Andrea. I gripped his shoulders tighter. “Stop saying like you want that.” Me being his wasn’t what he really wanted.

“You’re the one saying you’re mine. You’re saying it.” He kissed the top of my neck. “Your body is saying it.” My neck arched as he kissed down it, painfully slow. “You’re doing it right now.”

I knew what he meant. I had told him I was turning other men away because of him. And it would seem my body’s reaction to his touch hadn’t gone unnoticed. I would love to hide how attracted I was to him, how much I loved his lips on me—at least then he wouldn’t know just how much I enjoyed his touch.

I needed to flip the tables. I had to get a reaction out of him. Currently, he had all the playing cards and was reading my body way too well.

My hands ran down his shoulders, down his arms, till I reached his hands. I was turning the tables on him. He thought I was his. Well, let’s see how far he would take it from me.

I placed his hands under my singlet, and slowly guided them up my skin, my singlet bunching up. His hands froze just under my breasts.

“Hannah, no.”

I smiled and my plan was slowly working. If he thought I’d settle for him just kissing me when he knew I considered myself his, well, he was wrong. He was the one going on about how well he knew my body, so right now he should have known what I was after.

I pushed him back; he was still in shock from nearly touching me there. Well, if I had it my way, he would be doing more than touching. His legs hit the edge of the bed and I forced him to sit down.

I straddled him. If he thought he was in charge before, then he was wrong. I was going to get what I wanted out of him. I knew I had him by the stern look on his face and the sharp breathing. All from nearly touching me. I couldn’t stop the smile.

My mouth went to his ear. “Don’t you want to touch what is yours?” I made my voice come out softer, luring him in. My hands went over his and I attempted to push them up. “Don’t you want to explore what is yours?”

“Hannah, stop.”

I attempted to push his hands up but they were super glued to me and gripping me tightly. Fine, if he wouldn’t move his hand then I’d just force myself on him. I’d break the control he had. I would snap it in half.

“You going to fight me?” I looked him in the eye. He wasn’t just fighting me, he was also fighting himself. “Well, if you won’t touch, I’ll just make you see.”

He didn’t realize what I meant till my hands went to the hem of my singlet and I went to pull it off. He realized what I was doing when he saw me peel it off. His eyes went wide and his super glued hands were off me but he was too late. I dropped the singlet on the floor.