Chapter Twelve

Hannah

I never really pictured who I would lose my virginity to. Never really ever had a crush on a boy, or wanted to take that step with anyone. I wasn’t confident like Eve when it came to boys. I knew now why I hadn’t pictured losing my virginity to a boy. Because I was going to lose it to a man.

I couldn’t stop my back from arching as he kissed down my body. It would seem Brad’s stride for perfection was also the same in the bedroom. When it came to anything that Brad did, he made sure to do it well.

“So, who was it?”

I opened my eyes, what did he mean? I was so lost with the feel of his lips on me. Did he know it was mesmerizing, his lips on me? I sighed. Yeah, now that he had started, all I wanted was more. More of those kisses.

“Hannah?”

“Mm?” I would admit right now I just wanted his lips back on me. It was like every kiss he planted on me left an invisible mark on my body and a real mark on my heart. I frowned; why wasn’t he kissing me? I leaned up on my elbows, looking at him.

Why was he smiling at me? His lips twitched up just slightly, his eyes locked on me.

“You didn’t hear me, did you?” He kept looking at me with a small smile.

Well, what did he expect? Kissing me like that? Branding me? Marking me as his? How was my reaction not expected?

“No,” I pouted, embarrassed. “My mind may have been somewhere else,” I admitted. “Ask me again?”

His smile dropped a bit. “Nah, don’t worry about it.” Suddenly he looked hesitant. Brad didn’t do hesitation. “I think it is better if I don’t know.” He was going to go back to kissing me till I sat up completely.

“Tell me what you want to know.” My words were soft. “There isn’t anything I wouldn’t tell you.” He had to know that. If there was something he really wanted to know about me then I would tell him. I didn’t understand what he meant by “I think it is better if I don’t know”.

“I just wanted to know…” His eyes went off me and he stopped mid-sentence.

“What?” I was really interested now.

He looked back at me, his eyes showing jealousy. “Who it was.”

I frowned, not understanding. He seemed to realize that I was confused. I had no idea what he was talking about.

“You know, who…” he prompted me, but I still had no idea what he was saying.

I frowned. “Okay, I think I’m having a blonde moment, cause I have no idea what you are talking about,” I admitted. Tyson always said my blonde hair made me miss the obvious, but saying that little fact to Brad or mentioning Tyson at all felt awkward.

He sighed, “Who your first time was with?” He finally made it clear what he was talking about. “Reaper said he wanted to kill the kid, but he couldn’t because of Abby.”

Sex? My frown deepened. “Dad thinks I’ve had sex?” God, if Dad thought that for a second, I’m sure he would be tracking down whomever I had had it with and would be killing the boy responsible.

I saw Brad’s tightened expression, how he was looking into my eyes, but I saw the heat in his eyes—and the jealousy. It was so clear. He was really angry right now, but was trying to contain it.

“I think whoever told Dad that, got me mixed up with Eve,” I started to explain, making my words clear. “I, um…” Okay this could ruin my chance of being with Brad altogether. I sighed. “I haven’t had sex with anyone.” I felt like I needed to add something to that quickly. “I just haven’t wanted to.”

And that was true—I hadn’t and even now I wasn’t sure if it was a good idea if Brad and I did have sex, because I didn’t want his feelings to grow for me. But as soon as that thought ran through my head I reminded myself that wasn’t going to happen. Brad would go back to Andrea come morning and I’d go back to being invisible.

Brad and I weren’t about to start a relationship and I had to remind myself of that fact twice more before I looked at him.

His expression was blank. Well, what should I have expected? Suddenly, I felt like a brick wall had just been built between Brad and I. I knew no guy really liked taking a girl’s virginity, thinking the girl would automatically be clingy.

I crossed my arms, trying to cover myself. I should really put a top on. This wasn’t going to go anywhere.

“You’re a virgin?”

I wanted to scoff. Had I not made that fact really clear? I couldn’t even look at him.

I was in a position no girl wanted to be in: with a man that you really care about who is too scared to make a move on you because they don’t want a girlfriend or a relationship—or for you to turn into a clingy machine.

“Hannah.” Suddenly his hands were cupping my face. “Look at me.”

I was staring to the side, not meeting his eyes. I could feel my heated cheeks—I couldn’t be more embarrassed. It was impossible.

“Darling, look at me.”

There was something in his tone, the slight plead and also my need to do what he said. So my eyes slowly went to his; the anger and jealousy that had consumed them were now gone.

“Let me get this straight: I was going to be your first.” He spoke clearly. Like making sure I hadn’t lied.

He spoke like that wasn’t possible. No, in fact, the way he said it would make you think it was impossible!

“What, do you want a doctor to inspect me to confirm it?” I snapped at him. “I said I was a virgin! Why would I lie about that?” I normally never got angry and the only reason I was angry now was because I was embarrassed.

“You want me to be your first?”

I rolled my eyes, pouting. “Obviously.” I tightened my arms across me. “Just forget it already. I get it. You don’t want the strings. You can’t handle it if I get clingy. You can’t take the risk. Blah. Blah. Blah. I get it.”

I went to get up. I should have just kept my fucking top on. Actually, come to think of it, he shouldn’t have shown up! He should have just stayed away. Bloody hell, I should never have let him have access to my phone—darn that tracker!

Just as I picked up my top, he took it from me.

I turned around, not understanding why he would stop me from getting dressed.

“You want it to be me?” His words were soft. “You’re comfortable with me being your first?”

“Well, yeah. Clearly. I’ve spent most of the night begging you to be the one!” God, had he not heard one word I’d said tonight?

He shook his head. “Nah, darling. I didn’t realize what you were really giving me. Now I do.” His eyes were focused on me and it made my heart beat that bit quicker under his intense eyes.

“Let me guess,” I swallowed sharply. “Now you’ve realized, you want nothing to do with me?”

He stepped in closer to me, taking my hand. “I told you I’m a greedy and selfish man when it comes to things I love.” His other hand went to my back, pushing me into him. “I just need to hear that you really want me.”

I sighed, looking in his eyes, my hand linking with his and my other hand going to his cheek. “I love you, Brad. Is that what you need to hear?” My words were soft and honest. He had to know by now I loved him.

He took my hand off his cheek, kissing the back of it. “Darling, I need to correct a few things if this is going to happen.”

I frowned and then he left me completely, heading into the bathroom.

“Um, is there a reason you’re leaving me topless and begging?” I sung after him. I just told him I loved him, and his reaction was to what? Correct a few things? What the hell did that mean?

Was I having another blonde moment? Just as I was thinking that, Brad was back and handing me a dressing gown.

“Put that on,” he said before picking up the phone for reception.

“Why do I have to cover myself?” I said to his back. “And who are you calling?”

“Put it on,” he said, and then was talking in the phone. I couldn’t hear what he was saying though. I only caught the end of the sentence and he was listing numbers.

I was so confused; he turned and saw I hadn’t done what he said, so he mouthed ‘now’ to me. God. Why did I have to cover myself up? I slipped the expensive dressing gown on. Okay, maybe I might steal this.

So this is why people stole dressing gowns from hotels. It was so plush and warm.

“Is this all yours?”

I turned around, and Brad was picking up my bag.

Okay. Clearly I was missing something. “Um, yeah, why?” But as soon as I confirmed it he was throwing my phone in the bag and picking up my top and throwing that in as well. His vest and guns were also thrown in. Then his eyes were on me.

Before I could even say a word, he was taking my hand, dragging me out of the room.

As soon as the room’s door shut behind me, and knowing the room key was still on the desk, I was pissed off.

“So, this is your reaction, is it?” I snapped at his back. Who was I kidding, thinking he would want to still have sex with me!? “Dragging me home! Really, Brad?” I was furious as he dragged me down the hall. “You could have at least let me get dressed!”

Seriously, I was in a dressing gown!

He passed the elevator, which caused a frown on my face. Okay. What was he doing? We then stopped at another elevator and he was punching in a code into the keypad. The doors opened and he pulled me so quickly I basically tripped into his open arms. I wasn’t sure if the doors were even closed when he dropped my bag, wrapping his arms around me and lifting me in the air and backing me against the now closed elevator doors in one fluent movement.

I was startled by his sudden movements; it took a few seconds till I realized his lips were back on me. He was gently pushing the dressing gown off my shoulder, his magical lips on my bare skin.

I had questions but at the same time I was losing my ability to voice them as his lips kept moving on my bare skin.

I locked my hands around the back of his neck. “Brad, I’m confused.” I managed to get out a sentence but the elevator doors opened behind me. He balanced my weight with one arm, and picked up my bag while still holding me.

My fingers started to trace the tattoo on his neck. God, did he have any idea how perfect he was?

It was when he took a step out of the elevator that it occurred to me that my dressing gown was parted, and anyone could see I wasn’t wearing a top underneath. I went to cover myself up, but then realized we had stepped into a room.

Brad placed me on my feet and I took in the room—well, it wasn’t a room. I was speechless. The sunken lounge, the expensive and perfectly placed furniture, the beautiful decor. This couldn’t be? Could it? I turned to look back at Brad, my lips parted.

“Is this the penthouse?” I looked around the suite. It had to be because I had never seen anything like this.

I turned back around and then I saw the view. It was stunning. My feet just naturally directed me toward the city lights.

I had never seen the city like this before.

My hand went to the glass door. I was so tempted to go outside, but as soon as Brad had dragged me out of my overheated room. I was cold. So even though it was summer I knew my body would think it was freezing if I stepped outside.

I wrapped the dressing gown tighter around me, just thinking about it.

“You cold?”

I was quick to turn around. “No, I’m fine,” I lied. Brad had made a comment about me having the heat up too high in the last room. I didn’t want him suffering with the heat just because I felt the cold.

He didn’t seem to listen to me though, picking up a tablet on the table. I noticed the gas fire come to life. Wow, that was beautiful. I then heard the heating system turn on.

My eyes went to Brad. “You didn’t have to do that.” I felt guilty. “Really Brad, this…” I looked around the suite and then a question floated in my head. and I knew immediately where it was coming from. My self-doubt. My expectation that no one would do anything this nice for me.

“You’ve done this before,” I muttered, my eyes dropping to the ground. He knew who to call. He knew the pin code. He even knew this hotel had a suite like this. So the answer to my question was obvious. But was I going to let that little fact ruin my one night with him?

I had to swallow my pride. Really, it made sense that Brad had been in this situation before.

I wasn’t the first girl to notice his amazing qualities and fall in love with him. I wished now I hadn’t told him I loved him. Come tomorrow it was going to be harder to act like I hadn’t told him that.

“Stop it.” He had moved across the room and was now standing in front of me with one of his hands stopping both of mine from the nervous fiddling. “Look at me.”

I sighed and lifted my head to look into his calm brown eyes, which stole my breath away. I could immediately see the kindness in them, and something I didn’t expect to see in them: love.

“Do I look like the type of guy that would drag girls to a penthouse for sex?” He dipped his head, locking his eyes with mine. “Do I really take you as the type of guy who would do anything remotely romantic like that?”

I frowned. I just kept staring into his brown eyes. I didn’t need him to say another word, because I knew the answer.

He hadn’t done this before.

“You didn’t have to,” I gushed. “I was happy in the room we were in. I…” I wasn’t sure what else to say, the way he was looking at me right now—it was taking away my voice completely.

The love was so strong in his eyes, and his slight smile was making me giddy. God, this felt like a dream. This moment was too good to be true—this couldn’t be happening. Almost to make sure he was real, I pulled my hand from his, placing it on his cheek, taking the few steps into him.

“You are making me speechless, mister romantic.” I went up on my toes. “You didn’t need to go to so much trouble.”

“Trust me darling, this is only the beginning.” His hands went to the tie of my dressing gown. “You’re mine now.”

“For tonight,” I added, just as he spun me around, and then his hands were slowly stripping the dressing gown off me. A rush of excitement spread through my body as his mouth went to my ear.

“You said you love me?”

My heart was jumping out of my chest. I think the fact my chest was raising and dropping sharply told him how nervous I was.

“Yes,” I finally said, as he freed my arms from the dressing gown, and now I was standing in front of the fire, topless and wearing shorts that weren’t exactly covering much with my back to him.

His hands ran down my bare arms, sending shivers through my system. Was it possible to be breathing so sharply? God, what was he doing to me?

“I never thought I’d get this.” His words were low, almost as if I wasn’t meant to hear them. I turned.

“What?” I asked, not even feeling a need to cover myself. “You thought you wouldn’t get what?”

His hand tucked my hair behind my ear “Someone that actually loves me.”

My face softened. “Brad, everyone loves you.” God, couldn’t he see it? “All the girls have their eye on you. I think the only thing keeping them away is Andrea.”

He started to shake his head. “That’s different.”

“What, their love isn’t good enough?” I arched my eyebrows at him, wanting to hear him explain this one.

His brown eyes stared down into mine. “I’ve never loved them back.” His words were soft, direct and coated in honesty, which sent a shock wave through my body.

Wait…

Did that mean…

My eyes widened…

No, surely not…

It couldn’t be possible…

It was like the mask he kept on around me was gone—it had disappeared. His carefree, expression he usually gave me was gone. For the first time, he was showing an emotion that wasn’t anger or jealousy.

The look on his face, it was like—no, it couldn’t be. He was looking at me like I was the love of his life, like he loved me as much as I loved him.

“I want more than a night.” He took his opportunity to speak while I remained shocked, his hand back on my cheek. “And tonight I’m going to prove to you that I’m worth it.”

I didn’t know what to say. I told him one night. One night. What he wanted. What he was suggesting… it just wasn’t possible, was it? Was there a chance he really wanted to be with me? That we could be together? He was looking at me like I was his love and now that he had me, he never wanted me to leave him.

I opened my mouth. Okay, time to speak some reason.

“Don’t say anything, please?” he stopped me, cutting me off before I could say a word. His other hand went to the side of my face. “Just let me prove to you I can be everything you want. That I’m worth your love.” Nerves were heard in his tone. “Let me pretend, for one night, you are mine and mine forever. Like you’ve already agreed to be mine. As if I’ve already convinced you.”

I saw the love in his eyes, and heard the pleading in his voice. He wanted me. He thought he had to convince me to be his. It was like me being his just for one night was his ultimate dream.

He kissed my cheek as I remained quiet. Then his eyes were locked with mine again, though this time, nerves were painted across his brown eyes. I think he was starting to think he had scared me.

I opened my mouth.

“Just say yes. Just agree to be mine for a night.” he spoke before I could speak again. “Please, Hannah, I want you to be mine.” His hand spread into the side of my hair. “If I had my way, it would be forever, but I want to prove to you first that I’m worth it.”

I opened my mouth again.

“I know I’m old. I know I’m a biker and a girl like you deserves a business man, a high-paying one. But when it comes to money, I can match it—if that makes a difference in your decision tonight. I know I own cars and bikes, not houses. But I’ll sell them all if it’s a deal breaker. I don’t care, I’ll do anything. I promise, I’ll-”

“Brad, stop,” I cut him off. This time I was the one to speak over him. It was time he let me speak, because I already had an answer for him. I took his hands off my face, linking them with mine. I saw the wave of panic across his eyes—he must have taken it as a sign that I was about to crash his dreams.

He had put himself on the line—like I did when I took my top off and told him I was turning men away because they weren’t him. Yeah, I had put myself out there. And now he was doing the same; he’d exposed his feelings, his emotions, and right now it was like I held his heart in my hand and he was ready for me to clench it and possibly destroy him.

“You already have my answer.” I guided his hands to my shorts. “You already said it, Brad, before, in the other room.” I didn’t care about his age, I didn’t care about money. “My body says it, the mark on my neck says it. I’ve even been saying it. I’m yours.” My mouth went to his ear. “So claim what is yours.”

I’d been offering him body earlier, and now I was basically offering him everything I had.

The biggest grin spread across his face; one of delight and mischief. A squeal left my lips as he lifted me up, and I locked my legs around his waist.

“You know I’ve tried to be a gentleman.” He planted a kiss on my neck, walking us into the bedroom. “But that ends here.”

I laughed. “Since when have you ever been a gentleman?” That was one word I wouldn’t use to explain Brad.

I pictured a gentleman as a business man. Not a man that got his hands dirty with grease and oil, and not just that type of dirty—he lived life dirty, in a club society deemed as fit for only criminals.

“I have been by not openly staring at your breasts. I’ve tried hard to keep the thoughts of what I want to do to your naked breasts out of my mind.” His lips were off my neck, one hand going off me and flicking on the light.

I squinted from the sudden light. “Why did you do that?’

“Cause I’m going to explore every inch of your body.” He then adjusted the lights till they were at the brightest. “I want to see your every quality.”

I giggled. “And flaws?”

“Darling, you don’t have any.”

Suddenly a little burst of nerves went through my body. About my breasts. He wouldn’t feel it, would he? The lump. My mind started to panic—what if he did? Then I reminded myself that I felt it by chance. So how would he be able to? Not without positioning my arm in a certain direction. The type of position that wasn’t normal but maybe I had to put in a precaution just in case.

But then the chance of me extending my arm at that angle- hell, the only reason I was in that position to begin with was because I slipped in the shower. I actually thought I had imagined the lump being there when I felt it.

When I went and got it looked at, the doctor couldn’t even feel it in the exam. She sent me for an ultrasound for my ‘peace of mind’. But I knew. Deep down I knew something was wrong.

“Darling? You okay?”

My thoughts had taken me from the moment completely. I blinked a few times and then looked back into Brad’s concerned eyes.

I nodded my head. Yep. I was okay. Then his words about no longer being a gentleman ran through my mind.

“So, if all this time you’ve been being a gentleman, what should I expect now?” I locked my eyes with Brad’s—could he see my excitement?

“The outlaw.”