Chapter Seven

Hannah

I knew it would come. It just took three days. Shock. I had entered shock. I was half-prepared for it to come. By yesterday I thought I had passed it altogether. That was till tonight. When I was in our living room and I saw a picture of my grandmother with Mum and Aunty Kim.

Reality of what I was facing hit me hard. She had faced it. She hadn’t won. It was in my DNA. I was going to lose this fight. But it didn’t mean that I wouldn’t fight it.

“What the fuck are you doing?”

My head snapped up. What was Brad doing up? It was after three in the morning. The club wasn’t having a party tonight so there was no reason for him to be outside right now.

“Nothing.” I swallowed sharply.

“Not fucking true.” He stomped toward me, ripping the cigarette from my hand and dropping it on the ground. “You don’t smoke!”

Yeah. I used to not smoke. That was before I got cancer. “Everyone smokes. I don’t see the big deal.”

“Okay. What’s with the tone?” He crossed his arms, standing in front of me. “And what’s with the smoking?”

I didn’t need to be hassled. I had come out here to avoid that. Dad and Mum were asleep. So were Eve and Tyson. Tyson, for some reason, was staying at the house tonight instead of his dorm room.

I’d snuck out of the house and went to the lot to do something I never did. Smoke. Dad relied on it when he was stressed. I wasn’t stressed though. I was in shock. I felt empty. Scared. Actually, I was terrified. I should call Layla.

“Hannah, what’s wrong?”

I glanced back at him, forgetting he was even standing there. Right. He thought something was wrong. Well, I was going to have to lie daily now. Guess now was a good time to start.

“I’m fine.”

He scoffed. “I just caught you smoking. You aren’t fine. Tell me what’s wrong.” He was frustrated; annoyed I wasn’t opening up to him.

I found myself wondering something I had been thinking earlier. “Do you ever see your life ending? Like you can’t see yourself past a certain age?” I stared down at the concrete lot. I wondered if it was just me.

He sat next to me on the picnic table. “I never saw myself getting this old. But why are you thinking like that?”

I turned to look at him. “I can’t see myself older than twenty.” It was a cold hard fact. I couldn’t see myself getting older. “I don’t see myself getting married or having kids.” I shrugged, thinking about it more. “I can’t see me getting into my twenties.” Grandma lasted two years with her cancer. I was seventeen at the end of the month. Two years would put me at nineteen and I was pushing for three years to make it to twenty.

The more I thought about it, the more I knew it wouldn’t happen. I wouldn’t see twenty.

His hand went to my knee. “You’ll get married and you will have kids.” His words were gentle and he was saying that like he was making it law. “And you’ll see all your birthdays.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I’ll make sure of it,” he said firmly. He said that as if he had thought about me getting married and having kids. I smiled. That was Brad. Always thinking ahead.

“Some things are out of your control.” I knew he wouldn’t admit that. He liked control. In his world, I’m sure he did see me getting married and having children. But in my world, that wasn’t going to happen. I was going to die young. Without a family or a husband.

There would be no mark on the world from me.

“You should be in bed.” He tucked my hair behind my ear, his fingers brushing my ear. “Not out here in the dark.”

“Not like anyone will hurt me.”

“You’re right, no one would dare.”

“No, I meant I wouldn’t get that lucky.” I said it before I realized it came out. I knew I shouldn’t have said that by his reaction.

“What the fuck is wrong with you tonight?” he demanded rudely. Like I would tell him. Heck, I wouldn’t have told him if he asked nicely. “In fact, what’s been wrong with you all month?”

I frowned. “What do you mean?”

“You’re never here. You’re out here in the middle of the morning talking about death and you just hoped someone would attack you!”

“Not a big deal.”

He got up, standing right in front of me. “You got a boyfriend? Is that why you have disappeared altogether from the club?”

As if my life would ever be that simple. I wish I only had boy problems. Not the fact I was staring down radiation come Monday.

“No.”

“Where are you when you aren’t here? And don’t give me the bullshit excuse you give your parents. I know you aren’t in your room.”

“How could you possibly know whether I’m in my room or not?” I would like to hear him say otherwise because everyone else believed me.

“I see you walk down that driveway not giving a fuck who sees you or not.”

“I don’t know what you are talking about.” I picked up the packet of cigarettes, lighting up another. “And stop watching me.”

He scoffed, shaking his head. “I knew it was too good to be true.”

“What was?”

“You not going through a rebellion stage.” He ripped the cigarette from my fingers. “I thought you had skipped it, and if anything, had entered adulthood early. Clearly I was fucking wrong.”

Why did he sound so angry about it? I wasn’t rebelling. I was facing down any woman’s worst nightmare!

I got up, pushing him back. “If anyone should know better, it’s you!” He should see that this was a front I was putting up, which wasn’t even a good front tonight. He should see right through it.

He knew me. Did he really think I would rebel? Why did I expect him to be any different? He couldn’t see through my walls. Because he simply didn’t want to. And why should he want to? I wasn’t his daughter. I wasn’t his girlfriend and I sure as fuck wasn’t his problem.

“Night, Brad.” I began to walk off. Then I felt his hand lock around my arm and he brought me to a stop. “What do you want, Brad?” I glanced to my side and looked up at him. Did he want to yell at me some more?

“You’re right. I do know you better. Which is why I know for a fact you are lying to me right now. Something is going on and I was going to let it slide, but I want to know what it is.”

I smiled dimly. “You know when I kissed you early in the week?”

He nodded his head, looking pulled back to it for a second. “Yeah. I haven’t forgotten it.” He said that like it had been on his mind. I wondered if it had been on his mind as much as mine. Doubtful.

“I’m not sorry about it.” It was the truth. I didn’t care what he thought about it anymore. I kissed him because I wanted to. And I wasn’t sorry about it.

He was shocked. His eyes wide, just staring at me.

“I don’t expect you to feel the same. I get you regret it. Still doesn’t mean I’m sorry, though.” I pulled my arm from his grasp. “Night, Brad.”

I walked for the gate. At least the gates were still open. Meant I didn’t have to use the stupid exiting door.

“Where are you going?”

I turned to look back at him. “A friend’s.”

“You aren’t fucking walking there!” He stormed toward me rather quickly, so quickly I was surprised. “It’s after three in the morning and you want to wander the streets? For a smart girl, you are being fucking stupid.”

“I walk the streets all the time. I’ll be fine.”

“I wasn’t talking about that,” he snapped at me like whatever he was trying to say was obvious. “I’m talking about you kissing me! You should regret it. You should be feeling fucking disgusted about it. Not…”

“Not what?”

“Not saying shit like you aren’t sorry it happened!”

I shrugged. I was starting to learn life was too short for regrets. I expected to only live another three years and in those three years I would not have one regret.

I was going to jump when told not to and I was going to listen to my heart. And my heart didn’t regret kissing him. Sure, my brain was screaming all the reasons why it shouldn’t have happened but I was listening to my heart.

“Night, Brad.”

“Stop saying goodnight to me! I’m not letting you out of my sight!”

“Why?” I looked at him, puzzled. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

He was looking at me like I was his nightmare and daydream at the same time. Like I was scaring him. He looked scared.

“You look scared.” I reached out for his face, cupping his cheek. I frowned up at him. “You don’t do scared.” It was a known fact Brad was never scared. He never had anything to be scared about.

“He is going to kill me.”

My frowned deepened, not understanding. “Who is?”

“Your old man.”

“Why would Dad kill you?”

“For doing this.” He moved quickly, stealing my lips. The shock I was in earlier disappeared and all I could focus on was him. He was demanding my lips meet his. I tried my best to keep up with the kiss but as soon as I met his pace he would pick up the speed.

I moaned when his tongue entered my mouth. His hands went to my hips and he lifted me off the ground. My legs wrapped around him. All I could think about was how strong he was as my hands ran across his shoulders and locked around his neck.

His mouth moved off mine, locking on my neck and sucking. I knew he was leaving a mark. I just didn’t care.

My back hit the gate. His lips were back on mine. My neck tingling from where he had marked me. The cold metal was against my back. I was trapped between him and a gate and I really didn’t mind. I was giving him the control he wanted.

“Brad?” I managed to get out between his kiss just as he took a breath.

“Sweetheart, it better be important.” He groaned, wanting nothing more than to go back to kissing me. I smiled, knowing he was getting as much pleasure out of this as me.

“Your phone is ringing.”

“Don’t give a fuck.” He dove forward, kissing me harder. But it kept vibrating.

“Don’t you want to know who is calling you after three in the morning?” I said against his lips.

“Like I said, I don’t give a fuck.”

“Could be Dad.”

He sighed. “You really want me to answer?”

“Nope. But I don’t want you to get in trouble.” I kissed his cheek. “I’m not going anywhere.”

He could have me pinned against this gate and him all night.

He reached into his pocket, pulling out his phone and answering it.

I could hear a woman’s voice. She was basically shouting at him. I couldn’t hear what she was saying though. I frowned. A woman calling this late at night only meant one thing. She had woken up to him gone.

“Yeah, I’m coming back to bed, Andrea. Calm down,” Brad said into the phone, his eyes on me, as I quickly realized I wasn’t the first girl he had been kissing that night. “Look, I’ve got to go.” I unwrapped myself from around him and my feet hit the ground. “Andrea, I don’t give a fuck right now. I said I’ve got to go.”

His voice was going up like he was panicking. Nothing to panic over. He had Andrea, who I knew was a club girl, in his bed. She had woken up to him gone and I guess she’d thought he had just used her for the night.

But Brad doesn’t use girls. He only slept with girls he liked. So Andrea had nothing to worry about. Brad would be going back to bed with her tonight and I wouldn’t be getting in the way of that.

I unclipped his arms from around me and stepped out of his grasp and around him.

“Andrea, I’ve got to fucking go! Stop yelling at me! I’ll be up in a minute!”

I turned my back to him.

Rookie mistake, Hannah. Rookie mistake. I shouldn’t have told him the truth. I should have stuck with the story that I was sorry I kissed him.

“Hannah!”

He must have hung up.

“Hannah, wait!” He grabbed my arm, pulling me to a stop. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?” What was he sorry for? He had nothing to be sorry for. “You should go to bed, Brad. Someone is waiting.”

“Don’t do that,” he snapped. “Don’t cut me off with that cold exterior!”

How did he know I was even doing that? Well, he would have to get used to my cold exterior because it was the only front I was showing the world from now on.

“Night, Brad.” I pulled my arm from his grasp. “And you should wipe the cameras before Dad sees the footage. You’re already regretting it. No point it costing you your life.”

I knew we had cameras pointed at us. So did he. But that hadn’t stopped him.

I started to back away from him. He looked torn. I guess I was underage but I was also Reaper’s daughter. He respected Dad way too much to ever really break his trust. But Brad would look at kissing me as breaking Dad’s trust. I guessed I should ease his guilt again.

“That was all me by the way. So don’t feel guilty.” I smiled at him. “I’ll, um, see you when I see you. Maybe it’s for the best from now on that it isn’t by ourselves.”

I couldn’t see that torn expression on his face again. He hated himself for kissing me and that really got under my skin. I didn’t want him to feel guilty. I didn’t want him to hate himself. I wanted him to still be able to look Dad in the eye.

I turned and walked off, leaving him standing there with that expression on his face. I didn’t understand it. It looked like he wanted to kiss me but at the same time knew he shouldn’t be wanting that and hating himself for it.

Here I was thinking I would like my life to be simple with just boy problems. Well, Brad wasn’t a boy, he was a man. A man I would never get.

***

Dad and I didn’t do heated conversations. He didn’t yell at me like he did Eve. Maybe cause I wasn’t making it my mission to test his limits. He wouldn’t bark orders at me like he did Tyson. Instead, we had a very healthy relationship. If we did anything well together it was silence.

So, right now, as we sat alone in the clubhouse at one of the tables, since we were the only ones up, it wasn’t awkward. If anything it was peaceful. And I needed peace more than I did anything else. Especially with what I was facing tomorrow.

I just needed some peace and quiet.

Dad was smoking and glaring at his laptop, which usually meant he was doing the books. He hated math.

I was busy on my phone Googling breast cancer survivor stories. I needed some hope. And I was getting it from strangers’ stories. The one I was reading at the moment was about a girl my age.

“Well, if it isn’t Nice and Dad.” Tyson walked in, way too happy for a Sunday. Why wasn’t he hungover? I glanced at him but then my eyes were back on my phone.

It would seem our quiet morning was getting hijacked, because in walked Brad with Cameron as well.

So much for the peace I wanted.

“You fix the cameras?” Dad said, his eyes glancing off the laptop he had been glaring at for the past hour and fixing onto Brad.

“Yeah, they’re fine.” Brad answered and he didn’t even look at me. Not a surprise. I bet he was regretting last night. Pity really. Because I wasn’t going to live long enough to have regrets. So kissing him didn’t make my list.

“Must have been a power outage or something,” Cameron said and sat down across from me.

“What you reading so hard, Nice?” Tyson reached across the table to get my phone but I locked it just before he took it from my fingers. “Okay what’s the pin?”

“Like I’m telling you.” The whole point of a pin was to keep your nosy brother out of your business.

He looked at me a bit harder and then smirked. “You got a boyfriend, Nice.”

I wanted to hit him. “No, I do not.”

He pointed at me. “Your neck is telling a different story.”

My hand shot up to my neck and I knew I should have covered it with makeup. I had completely forgotten about it.

“Dad, what do you think about Nice’s boyfriend leaving a mark on her neck?” Tyson’s words had heat to them. He hated boys near me. Any boy that got close was scared off by him. He would let Eve date whomever she wanted but me, well, I was different altogether. It was like he didn’t think I could handle a relationship or I wouldn’t be able to handle a boy.

I was staring down breast cancer. So a boy definitely didn’t scare me.

“Hannah, explain.” Dad was attempting to keep a lid on his anger. Like Tyson, he wouldn’t let a boy near me. Well, a boy hadn’t been near me. It was a man. A man that wouldn’t look in my direction right now.

“I don’t have a boyfriend, Dad. And I wouldn’t lie to you.” That was the truth. I turned to look at him. “It’s not a big deal.”

“You still seeing this boy?” Dad gritted out, his voice wavering with anger. He was slowly losing control on his temper at the thought of a boy having his lips on me.

“Nope.”

“Was it serious?”

“I don’t do serious.” He should know that.

“He the reason you’ve been avoiding this place?” Dad closed his laptop and as fate would have it I realized my lack of appearance around here hadn’t gone unnoticed. “You’re rarely home.”

“I’m home.”

“Last night you were. Nights before that your room was empty. You really think I wouldn’t notice?”

I rolled my eyes. “I’ve been at a friend’s.”

“Is it a boyfriend’s?” Tyson chipped into the conversation.

“No, it’s Layla’s. I’m there a lot, actually.” I looked back at Dad. “Cyrus looks after me. It’s not a big deal. I’m staying there tonight and tomorrow. In fact, for the rest of the week.” I was not coming back here after radiation. I knew I would have to. But the first week is meant to be hard on your body.

I planned on staying at Layla’s for some of the week and the rest of the time at a hotel room I had already booked. I realized I couldn’t just live at Layla’s and she said I still had to keep face with my family. So I was going to hide out in a hotel room when I wasn’t with her.

I would show my face around the club. But I just couldn’t bring myself to lie to them every day. It would be easier on me if I wasn’t around.

“Why?” Dad’s temper snapped. “Why are you there?”

“She’s the only friend I have, Dad, and you can’t scare her away.” I would get Mum involved if I had to. “Plus, it’s like being here.” Their house was just as busy as a clubhouse. I hadn’t been to their clubhouse but I knew I would be heading there sometime this week with Layla.

“Dad, you can’t let her hang out with the deadly dozen!” Tyson pointed at him. “Pull rank or something. She’ll get hurt!”

The only thing hurting me was the cancer inside my body. “Cyrus wouldn’t let anything happen to me. Plus, when he isn’t around, Tatz is.”

Dad’s head snapped at me. “You know Tatz?”

Tatz was Cyrus’s vice president. He wasn’t much older than me. “Yep, him and I had tea the other night.”

Tyson scoffed and Dad’s eyes narrowed on me.

“Did Tatz do that to your neck?” Dad’s hands curled into fists at the thought. “Did he, Hannah? Tell me the fucking truth.”

Dad would kill Tatz for doing that. Hell, he would hurt Brad if he knew the truth.

“Tatz wouldn’t touch me.” I frowned. “He is a friend. A friend with no benefits.”

“He’s a young, bloodthirsty, trigger-happy dickhead. He isn’t the type of person I want you around.”

“Cause everyone here is a stand-up citizen,” I scoffed. “If you want me to stay away from him you need to come up with a better excuse.”

Tatz was just like them. Lived and breathed the club. He wouldn’t hurt me. If anything, he made me laugh. He wasn’t afraid to be seen with me, either.

“How about how he goes through women more than your brother does?” Dad’s eyes hardened. “I’ll kill him, Hannah, if he touches you.” He would do that. Kill a man for touching me. I had put up with it but I was suddenly getting over it. I was sick of hearing it.

I didn’t even flinch as Dad glared at me. “You said you would be reasonable when it came to men and me.” It was the one thing he had promised me. “Killing a man for touching me isn’t reasonable.”

“I thought you would pick a boy, not a fucking biker!”

“Does it really matter who it is? You’ll hate him regardless.”

“I’ll kill him. Hear me. The first thing I’m doing now is riding over there and telling him to stay the fuck away from you!”

“I dare you to do that.” I hissed at him. If he wanted a reaction, well, he was getting one. “You so much as threaten him and I’m gone.” I would move out. And Dad knew that. I didn’t need his money. “I, unlike my sister and brother, have nothing keeping me here.”

“You’d move out over a boy?” Dad got up, he had passed angry. He was deadly calm. Which usually came before he pulled his gun, or got his fists involved. I knew he wouldn’t hurt me. So I wasn’t scared.

“Nope.” I tilted my head, looking up at him. “I’d move out if you didn’t trust me.” Which is what this came down to: him trusting me. “And clearly you don’t trust me if you’re scaring away males from my life.”

Tyson’s, Brad’s, and Cameron’s eyes were on Dad, waiting for his reaction. Brad was now standing behind my chair and looked ready to block Dad’s path of getting to me.

Dad wouldn’t hurt me. He wouldn’t dare. Because then he would really lose me. I didn’t tolerate violence. Especially if it was directed at me. I didn’t have to put up with it.

“What’s going on down here?”

I turned, looking over my shoulder, and smiled. “Hey, Granddad. Nothing. Dad thinks I’m falling in love with a biker.” I looked back at Dad. “He doesn’t trust me.”

Granddad laughed. “Well, now he knows how I felt when he took my daughter.” Granddad walked closer to us. His eyes were on Dad. “You promised to be reasonable to anyone she dated, Reaper.”

I bet Dad hated ever saying that now.

“I’d be reasonable if she was dating a boy. Not a biker!” Dad shot a glare at Granddad.

“Who’s the biker?” Granddad crossed his arms. “Which bastard has a death wish?”

I grinned. “I’m not even dating him. And this is Dad’s reaction.” I waved a hand at my fuming father. “I just said we had tea and he looks after me, and Dad reacts like this.”

“She has a mark on her neck. They’ve been doing more than having fucking tea!” Dad’s fists pounded the table, causing me to jump.

“Hannah wouldn’t lie,” Granddad said firmly. I felt automatically guilty because I was lying. Not about who marked me, I was just keeping that to myself, but about the cancer. I was lying every time I said I was fine.

Dad’s eyes were back on me, his eyes locked with mine. “No, she wouldn’t.” And just like that the tension in the air was cut in half. “Fine. I’ll stay away from him. But if he touches you in front of me then I will not be held responsible for what I do.”

I smiled. That was Dad’s way of trusting me. I got up. There was no need to say anything else. Dad trusted me. And he should. I wouldn’t fall in love with any man. I was dying young and I wasn’t planning on leaving someone heartbroken over me.

Which was the main reason why I was going to make sure that Brad and I weren’t alone together again. I didn’t want him hurting after I die. He already looked at me as a friend and that was enough. A friend’s death you can move on from, but a girlfriend’s death leaves a different scar.

Heck, not that I’d ever be his girlfriend. He saw me as a young child who currently, according to him, was rebelling.

I was positive he was going to ignore me. So I was surprised when he stood in my way.

“Hannah, can I have your phone?” he asked, way too nicely.

“Tyson has it.” I frowned. “And why would you want it?”

He glanced at Dad. “Just need to update the software.”

“Right,” I said, not buying it whatsoever. So much for not lying to each other. I looked at Dad. Why was he giving Brad a thankful smile?

“Tyson, can I have Hannah’s phone?” Brad said to Tyson but kept his eyes on me. I saw a hell of a lot of anger behind his calm voice. His eyes were painted in fury.

Tyson handed my phone to him.

“I’ll just need it for an hour. You aren’t leaving yet?” Brad’s eyes were still locked with mine.

“Nah, I have to speak with Eve about this stupid party she’s throwing.” I looked at my phone and my heart jumped. I couldn’t have him seeing what I had been looking at. I snatched the phone from his hand, unlocked it, deleted the pages and the history and handed it back to him.

He frowned at my abrupt behavior and I smiled. I hoped he didn’t question me on it.

“I’ll drop it by the house when it’s done.” Brad’s eyes dropped to the mark on my neck and he smirked at me, as if he was proud.

I shook my head. Thanks to him and his mark, I had scored the attention of my brother and, in the end, Dad.

“No worries, Brad.” I walked around him and headed for the exit. I didn’t really give another thought as to why he wanted my phone. He was all over the technology side of things. I pushed the clubhouse door open. Now to face Eve.

God, I hoped she had dropped the idea of me pleading with Dad to let her have her party.