Chapter Fourteen
Mia
I was drunk, but it was the kind of drunk that held awareness. I knew what was happening, everything before me was crystal clear.
Sam sat in front of me with his beer in one hand. His eyes were on me, roving over my body like a starving man. I wanted him more desperately in that moment than I had ever wanted anything in my whole life. But I wanted to prolong the moment. I wanted to watch him, watching me.
“What does it feel like?” I asked. “To save people’s lives every day?”
I was only vaguely conscious of my body. I knew I was dancing, but I wasn’t connected to the movements. My body was moving of its own accord.
His hazel eyes were sharp and focused as he gazed at me. “It feels…like flying,” he answered.
I let out a deep breath. It was a beautiful description, and it felt like the right one. I told him about my childhood wish for flight. It was just a passing thought I wanted to share with someone, a small piece of my childhood I hadn’t remembered till just now.
“You are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.”
His words were soft and reverent. They engulfed me in that moment and heightened my desires. I was finally ready to be held. After years of being alone, after years of staving off the fierce bite of loneliness, I was ready to be welcome a man’s touch.
I dropped my arms and stared at Sam for a moment. He really was a beautiful man. He reminded me of Clint somehow. It had nothing to do with looks. Clint had been leaner and ganglier. It was just a feeling that linked them together.
I approached Sam without hesitation. I took his face into my hands and kissed him on the lips. It was a perfect, erotic kiss. I could smell his breath on my tongue. I could feel his eyelashes tickle my face. I was aware of the fact that he was gripping the bar as though he were scared he would lose control. I ran my tongue across his lower lip and felt him shudder. Then I pulled away and stared into those calm hazel eyes.
He held my gaze for a moment, and then I felt his hands come down around my hips. He rubbed my sides slowly before his hands travelled to my ass, cupping my buttocks and lifting me in the next breath so that my legs were wrapped around his waist. With my hands around his neck, I bent my head down to kiss him as he walked towards the pool table, carrying me as though I barely weighed a thing. Then, he placed me down spread eagle on the pool table and climbed on top of me.
It had been years since I’d been with a man. It had been years since anyone had touched me the way that Sam was touching me now. It was overwhelming – and I was desperate for more. There were so many things I wanted to do to him. There were so many things I wanted him to do to me. I wanted to fit years of missed opportunity into these few straggling moments of lust.
Sam settled himself on top of me, even as his hand travelled up between my legs. I parted them slightly for him, and he examined me gently, pushing two lean fingers inside me to inspect my wetness. I had wanted to prolong the moment, but I knew instantly that I had been waiting too long. I wanted him to fuck me now.
I reached out with my hands and unbuttoned his pants. He helped me push them off and then sat up a little so he could remove his shirt. I stared in wonder at his nakedness. His body looked as though it had been carved from stone.
And yet somehow, it was even more beautiful because it wasn’t perfect. There was a light dusting of chest hair just above the hard wall of muscle that lined his stomach. He had a few scars lining his body. He even had a small mark that I recognized as a burn scar above his left nipple.
I pushed myself up on my elbows just so that I could kiss that spot. He was a real man – raw and unadorned. His body was a testament to that.
After I was done marvelling at his perfect chest and his rock hard abs, my eyes fell to his groin. His penis was large and willingly erect. I felt another swell of wetness between my thighs as I gazed at the length of him.
I reached out with one hand to cup his penis so that I could guide him inside me. I slipped in easily and gasped in delirious excitement as we fused together like two parts of a jigsaw. He pushed himself deep inside me and held himself there for a long moment before he drew back again. I grabbed at the muscle on his back and closed my eyes, surrendering myself to the wave of sensations I’d almost forgotten.
He fucked me slowly at first, in gentle unhurried motions that had a certain rhythmic motion. With one hand, he pulled off my blouse and unfastened my bra. When my breasts were loose and free, Sam bent his head down and took a nipple into his mouth, playing with it and teasing me with a new wave of sensations. I moaned and writhed, but he just kept going.
I pulled his face up to mine desperately and started kissing him with new vigour. I wanted to taste him; I wanted to feel his tongue doing battle with my own. I wanted the burning heat of those carnal desires being met. I lost myself in the moment and bit down on his lower lip. His body shuddered as he pulled away for a moment, though he never once cried out.
I wanted to say I was sorry, but the apology froze on my tongue when I saw the new lust in his eyes. He set his hands down firmly on either side of my head and started ramming into me with a strength I didn’t know he had. He was strong and powerful, and my body wasn’t prepared for the onslaught.
I gripped at the edges of the pool table, and I heard myself screaming in new bouts of ecstasy. My screams only seemed to spur him on further until all I could hear was the sound of my moans intermingled with the sound of our flesh making contact. My orgasm was like a heavy release. It was like being delivered after years of starvation. And in that moment, I honestly believed I had achieved my childhood dream of flight. Because that was what it felt like…it felt like I was flying.
I shuddered and writhed, and he kept fucking me like the world was going to end. Just when I thought it was over, he grabbed me and pulled me upright so that I was straddling him, so that I was looking down at him. His hands gripped my ass and guided me for a few moments until I gained my bearings and was ready to take the reins.
I moved my hips back and forth, this position giving me new sensations to play with. I clung to his neck, his arms, and his chest, thrilled with the little beads of sweat forming there. I licked them off while I grinded violently against him, bringing my second orgasm to completion. A few seconds later, he came, too, and I felt his body collapse against mine. I kissed the side of his face as he rubbed his hands up and down my back.
We held each other for perhaps a minute before I pulled away and reached for my discarded clothes. Sam disentangled himself from my limbs and hopped down off the pool table. Then he helped me down, and we got dressed together.
“Would you take me home please?” I asked.
“Of course,” Sam nodded.
I waited patiently while he closed up and then led me to his pick up. He started the drive to my place, and I felt a strange sense of calm wash over me, despite the nagging headache starting to emerge at my temples. By the time we got home, the small headache had burgeoned into a fully-fledged pounding resonating through my eardrums.
“Are you alright?” he asked, noticing the uncomfortable look on my face.
“Sorry,” I mumbled. “It’s just…headache.”
“Ah, I think the alcohol might be starting to wear off,” he said. “Why don’t I help you inside?”
“You don’t have to do that,” I said.
“I want to.”
I paused. “Renni will be asleep,” I said.
“I’ll be really quiet,” Sam insisted.
After a moment, I nodded. We tip toed into the house, passing Vanessa on the fold out couch, and headed towards my room. Sam closed the door behind us and helped me to the bed. Then he undressed me and pulled the covers over so that I was cocooned in warmth and comfort.
“Do you have any aspirin?” he asked softly.
“In the bathroom,” I told him.
He reappeared moments later with aspirin and a glass of water. He sat down next to me, held my head up like a child, and helped me take the medicine. It had been a long time since I’d been looked after like that, and I felt my heart melt for him. It felt so wonderful to just lie back and have someone do things for you.
“You’ll feel better in a bit,” Sam said, rubbing his fingers against my temples.
“Wow,” I breathed. “That feels amazing.”
He smiled. “I do this for myself when I get headaches. It really helps, doesn’t it?”
“It really, really does,” I sighed.
“I’m glad you like it.”
He seemed in no hurry to stop, and I didn’t bother asking him to. For just a few moments, I wanted to be selfish. For just a few moments, I wanted to be pampered and looked after. Because when I woke up the next morning, there would be no time left over for myself.
“It’s late isn’t it?” I said, glancing at the clock on my bedside table.
“Yes,” Sam nodded. “Would you like me to leave?”
He had misunderstood my observation as a subtle way of telling him to go. But the thought was suddenly abhorrent to me. I found myself reaching out to him, grabbing the front of his shirt and pulling him closer to me.
“No,” I said. “Please don’t go. Stay here with me.”
He didn’t answer, but I felt him kick off his shoes and settle into place beside me. I relaxed into him, resting my head against the hard surface of his chest. I had forgotten how exceptionally wonderful it was to fall asleep against another human being. It didn’t feel like flying, exactly. It felt more like floating.