Chapter Twenty-Seven
Sam
It felt like my first day starting a new school, which was insane because this was neither new to me nor was I an awkward teenager.
Still, the station felt different somehow, and I didn’t have to think too hard to figure out why. Jackson was not there, nor would he be. I was on my own from this point on and the thought was daunting.
I knew part of it was pure, unbridled sentimentality. It wasn’t as though we were cops who had exclusive partners. Jackson and I had always just considered one another as such. We were fire fighters, which meant we were part of a team. Now with Jackson gone, I would need to learn to rely on the other members of my unit.
I walked into the day room to booming cheers, claps, and whistles. I stood there for a moment, taken back by the welcome. In order to cover up the fact that I was touched, I got up on the couch and started bowing and waving as though I were royalty. The men just went on clapping and finally I got down off of the couch and told them to shut up and quit making so much noise.
The moment the room settled a bit, Mitch and Sean approached me. Their faces were a little somber, and I could understand why.
“Hi, men,” I saluted both of them. “Looks like we’re down a man, huh?”
I didn’t feel the need to avoid talking about Jackson. It left a bitter taste on my tongue, but I knew it needed to be spoken about. That was the only way to gain some closure and just move on with life.
“There are other men,” Mitch said a little stiffly. Then, he sighed deeply. “I can’t deny that I’m going to miss having him around, though. You two were…quite entertaining when you got together.”
I smiled.
“So, is there no chance for him?” Sean asked.
“I don’t think so,” I said. “It seems like they’ve got too much evidence against him. One thing’s for sure, he didn’t cover up his tracks well. He was sloppy and careless, and he left a tangible trail that leads right to him.”
“Who would have guessed,” Mitch said, shaking his head. “I thought he was a good kid.”
I didn’t know why I felt the need to defend Jackson, but a part of me still felt loyal to him, despite everything. I figured it was just a deeply ingrained habit that would probably always be there.
“I think he is a good kid,” I said. “He just…made a mistake.”
Mitch and Sean exchanged a glance. “It’s going to be strange for you, isn’t it?” Mitch said sympathetically.
“Hey,” I said, with a smile. “That just leaves more room in my heart for you two cuddly seniors.”
“Who exactly are you referring to, you wispy little shit?” Sean asked.
I laughed and threw my arms around them at the same time. “I’m just telling it like I see it.”
“How about you get through puberty and then come and hang with the real men,” Mitch said, shaking out of my grasp.
Laughing as they sank into the couch, I began to relax a little. If nothing else, it was nice to come back to work. It was nice to focus on something that wasn’t so shitty. I went about my morning tasks, carrying out my chores solo for the first time in a long time. It was different, but it wasn’t as terrible as I had anticipated.
I was cleaning out the back of one of the fire engines when Hamish signalled to me. His eyes were a little wide, and he looked as though he were blushing.
“What is it, Hamish?” I asked.
“Umm…there’s a lady here to see you.”
“A lady?” I said, wrinkling my eyebrows together.
Before I could ask who it was, Mia turned the corner. She was wearing a sleeveless black dress that hugged her perfect figure in all the right places. She had paired it with nude pumps and had her hair loose and breezy around her bare shoulders. She looked like some sort of professional angel walking towards me with a small package in hand.
“Mia,” I said, clambering down from the back of the engine and wiping my hands on the front of my shirt. “If I’d known you were coming, I would have tried to look more presentable.”
She laughed. “Why would you do that?” she asked. “I like this look on you. It’s very…masculine.”
“Really?” I said, wagging my eyebrows at her. “Remind me to never look presentable around again.”
“Gladly,” Mia smiled. She looked around at the station. “I’m sorry; I can see you’re busy, and I didn’t mean to distract you.”
“You’re not distracting me,” I assured her quickly. “I’m glad for the company, actually.”
“I wish I could stay,” she said apologetically. “But I have meetings all evening. I just… I was in the neighborhood and picking up lunch for myself, and I thought I’d bring you some, as well.”
She handed me the little package she had. “Grilled beef sandwiches,” she said. “They’re supposed to be amazing. There’s also some fruit in there.”
I smiled. “This is so nice of you.”
She shrugged off my thanks. “It was just an excuse to see you, really.”
I loved that she was so forthright about why she had come. Most girls would never have been so honest. But then, most girls were not like Mia in the first place.
“How’s Renni?” I asked.
She smiled, as though the fact that I’d even mentioned her daughter was a point in my favor. “She’s doing great,” Mia replied. “She misses you.”
“I miss her, too,” I said. “When can I see her?”
“Soon,” Mia promised. “That was the same answer I gave her this morning.”
“I think we’re both going to hold you to that.”
“Oh, I have no doubt,” she laughed. Then she looked down at her watch and sighed. “I hate to run off, but…”
“No…”
She smiled as she leaned in and kissed me softly on the lips. “I’ll see you later, Sam.”
I stared after her as she walked away. Even her walk was sexy. I needed to throw some cold water on my face. I was so engrossed in watching Mia that I didn’t even notice that I was being watched. Sean, Mitch, and Hamish were standing beside the truck when I turned around.
“Oh,” I said. “What are you creeps doing over there?”
“Who’s the girl, lover boy?” Sean asked suggestively.
“She’s…a friend,” I said evasively.
“Is she now?” he continued. “Do all your friends bring you random lunches when you’re not expecting it?”
“Nope,” I said happily. “She might be the first.”
“I didn’t think you encouraged that kind of thing, Sam,” Mitch said. “I thought you were a strictly love ‘em and leave ‘em kind of guy.”
“People can change.”
“Well, well,” Sean said, exchanging a glance with Mitch. “I think it’s a brave new world.”
“It certainly is,” Mitch nodded in agreement.
They continued to tease me throughout lunch. But it didn’t faze me one bit – in fact, I actually enjoyed myself, exchanging jibes with the men and fending off their questions about Mia. One thing everyone agreed on was that she was a “fine looking woman,” as Mitch liked to put it.
We had just finished lunch when the alarm went off, signalling a fire downtown. “That’s us,” Mitch shouted, as we jumped into fire fighter mode.
Within seconds, we were in our truck, heading east on a suburban highway that would take us the quickest route to the burning building.
“How bad is the damage?” I asked as strands of information kept coming in through the engine radio.
“We don’t know yet,” Sean replied, paying attention to the radio. “But we have another EMT team on the way. Apparently, a few people have already been injured.”
“Civilians?” I asked. “Or our people.”
“Civilians,” Mitch replied.
The building was well and truly on fire by the time we got there. Mitch readied the ladders, while Sean and Hamish handled the hoses. I jumped out of the truck and headed into the thick of it where policemen had cordoned off the area. I knew all of them, some from work and others because of Peter.
“Sonny,” I said, flagging down one of the officers.
“Sam, there you are.” Before he could say another word a woman jumped in between us. Her dress was singed on one side, her face was covered in black ash, and there was a definitive heat coming off her body.
“Ma’am, you need to see one of the-”
“No, no… My daughter,” she screamed, cutting me off. “Please, my daughter’s inside… You need to get her out now!”
She was bordering on hysterical, but I could still make out her words. I looked towards the austere brick building. It was one of the older ones in town, three stories high and poorly ventilated. Those were the buildings that inevitably had shorts and electrical problems. It was always the poor who got the short end of the stick.
“Calm down, ma’am,” I said, grabbing her by the shoulders. “Which floor is your daughter on?”
“The first,” she gasped. “The first… Please… She’s only four years old.”
“What’s her name?”
“Jenny… It’s Jenny… Please-”
“Don’t worry, ma’am,” I said to her in my calmest voice. “I’m going to get her out. Stay here.”
Without missing a beat, I charged into the burning building. I kept my head down and my eyes open, despite the black fog choking me.
I had developed a tolerance for heat in all my years of training and turned my mind off against the heat. I could still feel it, that oppressive black anger that cooked my skin, but I would not let it have power over me. My suit would protect me. I placed my goggles over my eyes and kept going.
And then I saw her.
She was cowering underneath the staircase, trying to move her toes as far away from the heat as she could. She was fighting a losing battle – fire was a cruel villain and would never let up. She was a tiny girl; her face was obliterated by black ash, and she was coughing and crying at the same time. I could see that she was losing the fight even as I rushed to her side.
“Jenny,” I said, wondering if she could even hear me. “Jenny, come with me.”
She reached for me, and I grabbed her immediately, cocooning her in the circle of my arms, hoping that my suit would protect her, too. I would need to move fast. The fire was spreading at a terrific rate.
As her tiny body shuddered against mine, I felt something I had never felt before in all my years as a fireman: I felt scared. That fear was not for myself or for the situation I found myself in. That fear was for the child in my arms.
I was scared because I wanted her to be okay. I was scared because I wanted her to be safe. And, I was scared because she was just like Renni, and the thought of anything happening to Renni was suddenly unbearable in my head.
Only once we were out in the clear light of day, did I allow myself to breathe. Immediately the EMTs surrounded us and someone lifted Jenny from my arms. A part of me tried to cling to her, but then she was gone. I watched helplessly, as she was given oxygen and her vitals were checked.
“Jenny!”
I turned to see the child’s mother rush to her side with tears streaming down her face. There was fear in her eyes, mixed with the terrifying dredge of hope. And all I could think about was Renni.
Was this what it felt like to be a parent? I wondered. It was a mix of intense, mind-numbing fear and incredible love. How did Mia do it? I wondered. But the more important question here was…how could I do it?