I yawned as I stood in the elevator, waiting for it to take me up. I was tired and I was drained. All I wanted to do was crawl into bed and sleep the entire weekend. Or, at least until Emersyn decided to wake up.

The doors finally opened and I dragged myself through, laying my bag on the side table. It was dark so I assumed no one was up. I started to walk through the living room and jumped at the click of the lamp coming on. With my hand on my chest, I tried to calm myself. Grayson sat in a chair with a glass of bourbon in his hand. I gave him a smile, but he didn’t smile back. He looked mad. Really, really mad.

“Grayson, you scared me.”

He peered down at this drink and swirled it, but didn’t take a drink.

“Wasn’t my intention.”

I took another deep breath. “It’s okay.” I pointed toward the rooms. “Is Emersyn asleep?”

He shrugged. “Probably.”

“Oookaaay, well I’ll go check on her.”

“There’s no need. She’s not here.” I looked at him puzzled and waited as he took a long sip of his drink. “She’s with my parents for the weekend.”

My shoulders shrunk. “Oh, I didn’t know they wanted to spend time with her. I could’ve taken her for a visit or something, or we could’ve arranged dinner…”

“How was studying?” he cut me off.

“It was studying. Fine.”

He finished the rest of his drink before he slowly got up and walked toward me. With each step he took, I found myself taking a step back. I didn’t like the look he was giving me. He stood so close, our clothes were touching. He breathed deeply several times, as if he was trying to smell something on me.

His hand went around my nape and tilted my head up to meet his. “What’s your safeword?” His voice was so low, I had to strain to hear him.

I didn’t say anything, and after a few seconds, his grip on my nape tightened. “What’s your safeword?”

I kept my mouth closed, and he shook me. “What’s your fucking safeword, Emmalin?!”

I kept my eyes on him and finally spoke. “Whatever you need to do, do it.”

His eyes widened briefly before narrowing at the fact that I was now challenging him.

“I will hurt you, Emmalin. I will fucking hurt you, is that what you want?”

I thickly swallowed and knew that the next words out of my mouth were going to be dangerous and forbidding.

“You stopped hurting me the moment it came to light that you fucked someone else. Nothing hurt me more than hearing that.” He jumped back as if I had slapped him. I took a deep breath. “But, I was wrong. You managed to hurt me one more time, didn’t you?” My voice cracked, betraying me, if the tears welling in my eyes weren’t already doing so.

With our anger feeding off each other, Grayson gave me one last stare before his fist went flying into the wall right next to my head. And, just for reassurance, he did it one more time. The tears that I kept inside finally released. Is it wrong that I hoped he would hit me?

“You think I would hit you?”

My head shot up. I didn’t realize the words I had been thinking were said out loud. He shut his eyes tightly before meeting mine. I was met with pain and anguish and conflicting eyes. “I’m trying to fix this.” He ran his hand through his hair. “I know, you’re tired of hearing that, but I am. I swear to you I am, and I have no right to ask you to wait. I can’t sit here and say that I would understand if you leave, but that’s the last thing I will say.”

He looked at me exasperated. “I will fight for us, Emmalin, I am fighting for us.”

I leaned my head against the wall and closed my eyes. Even with my eyes closed, I could still feel him staring at me.

“Did you fuck him?”

I opened my eyes. “What?” I whispered out.

He turned and walked to the bar for some ice, placed it on a towel, and wrapped his hand. “I went to the library to see you. You weren’t there.”

I already knew what he was going to say, before he even said it. “I followed your tracker.”

“We were studying, Grayson.”

“And you said you would be at the fucking library!” My eyes darted from his as I stared into the distance. “I saw you through the window. You were laughing.” He stepped closer to me again. “I haven’t seen you laugh like that in weeks. He was able to do something I couldn’t.”

“We were studying, Grayson. Jonas, me, and Lynette. If you didn’t see her, it was because she was getting drinks for us, or talking to her mom. It was her house. We went there, last minute. She wanted to celebrate. Her mom finished chemo, and she’s cancer free. She wanted to be home, in privacy for when she called.” I sighed. “As for Jonas. He was excitedly telling me about his date…with a guy named Derek.”

Grayson’s eyes left mine, and I wiped an errant tear away. “If you have to even think, that I would even…”

“I’m sorry,” he cut me off, as he stepped closer to me. “I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.” His arms wrapped around me, and I tensed. I know he noticed, but he didn’t care as he pulled me closer. “We’re more than cracked, aren’t we? This isn’t just going to stop, is it?”

I didn’t answer as I clung on tighter to him. A part of me knew that if I didn’t hold on tight, then I would have to let him go, for good. I moved from his embrace. “I’m going to get ready for bed.”