Three weeks. It’s been three weeks since Grayson submitted his DNA for a paternity test. I don’t even want to know the amount of money he paid to have it rushed. The results were supposed to be back a few days ago, but they weren’t.

We had to first explore what options were available to do a paternity test for a baby that wasn’t even born yet, without causing any harm to the baby. Based on how far along Claudia was, the only choice was the Chorionic Villus Sampling, and even then, we had to get special permission.

We had hoped Claudia would fight the paternity test. That right there would give us cause that she was lying. But, surprise surprise, she was “happy to do it.” The best part was when she requested Grayson to go in with her.

“You have got to be fucking kidding me?”

Claudia stood there, hands on her belly. “Grayson, this is your baby too, I need you in there for support. It’s bad enough you’re trying to deny our child.”

“Because it’s not mine,” Grayson said through gritted teeth.

They stared at each other for a few seconds, until she finally said “I’m not going in there unless you’re with me.”

“Then we’ll get a court order.”

Claudia laughed. “That’ll take a few days and you know it. We can do it now or wait. Your call. You’re the one who wants this.”

She stood there playing with her nails and smoothing her hair down. Grayson turned to me, looking conflicted. “Just go,” I whispered to him. He shut his eyes looking pained before crashing his lips to mine. “I love you. I fucking love you,” he whispered then got up and walked behind Claudia.

So, there I was. Just a person waiting in a waiting room, while her husband was standing next to another woman who claimed he was the father of her baby. How did I feel? I was wrecked. I felt like an outsider in my own marriage. It wasn’t just the two of us anymore.

A week later, Claudia had a doctor’s appointment. She again demanded Grayson to be in the room with her. After arguing back and forth, Grayson finally decided he would go. When the day came, Grayson was running late, so I arrived at the doctor’s office first. I was still in the waiting room when Claudia strolled in. She looked me up and down.

“Where’s Grayson?”

I cleared my throat. “He’s running late.” She scowled. “But he’ll be here soon.”

She rolled her eyes, “Well I guess I will wait then, now won’t I?” She strolled over to a seat and sat. After a few seconds, I turned to face her.

“I brought these,” I pulled out the books in my bag. “They’re pregnancy books. A friend gave them to me, when I was pregnant, and I thought maybe...”

“No thanks.” She cut me off.

I glanced at the books in my hand. “I just thought maybe you would like...”

“I said no. Is that hard for you to understand? Do I need to say it in a different language for you to get it?” she sneered.

I faced forward and put them back in my bag. My phone chirped with an incoming text. It was Grayson letting me know he was parking.

“He’ll be up any minute,” I muttered.

Claudia smirked and turned to me. “Tell me, does it hurt?” I was confused by her question, but before I could ask, she kept going.

“Does it hurt? Do you wish this was your baby? Do you wish it was you who was pregnant instead of me? I bet this whole thing kills you, doesn’t it?”

I was taken aback by her words. Just then, Grayson came in and walked immediately over to me. Claudia stood up. “Well it’s about time!” She started for the door. Grayson took my hand in his as we followed Claudia to the room.

“Not her.” Claudia sneered. “It’s not her baby, it’s ours. We need to do this together.” Before I could object, she had turned and walked into the room. I looked to Grayson and gave him a smile. “It’s okay, I’ll be out here.”

I returned to the same waiting room I was just at not too long ago, where I once again sat and counted the tile. I once again counted the little spots in the tile that were supposed to make it decorative. I then googled “how to make tile”. You know, just in case I ever found myself in a situation to make some. I also made a mental note to slap the shit of Claudia the moment after that demon spawn was born.

---

Hours later, after we had gone to bed, I slipped out from under him and tiptoed out of the room. I first checked on Emersyn and wandered around the condo before finally finding myself in the library. I grabbed my favorite book off the shelf and went to the window seat. I didn’t read it. I just needed something to hold while I cried. I did this every night. I smiled during the day and cried at night. This was the only way I could keep myself together. Would it be fair for me to not want to have any part of this kid’s life?

I thought about everything. How we could get through this? I thought about Claudia and her growing belly. I thought about how mine wasn’t even close. She was going to give him what he wanted. But I couldn’t. It’s funny how right she was about how it hurts.

To say things were strained between us was an understatement. We tried, we both did. But it was hard with the big elephant in the room.

“Syed and Francisco just arrived. They’re in.”

I peered up at Grayson and slowly got up. He gave me a smile. The first real smile in weeks. He took my hand, as he led us to his office. “It’ll be over soon. I promise.” He squeezed my hand as we waited for Syed and Francisco to come in. The envelopes he held in his hand were sealed. We had the results sent to three different labs to ensure everything was the same.

The lawyers sat down and held up the envelopes. “This is it, guys.”

He smiled as he opened the first envelope, pulling out the paperwork and he cleared his throat. “Based on testing results obtained from analysis of DNA loci listed, the probability of paternity…” He paused. He fucking paused and the smile he held slowly dissipated. He cleared his throat again. “The probability of paternity is 99.99998%.”

He quickly opened the second envelope and scanned it until he got to the part he needed. “The probability of paternity is 99.99998%.’”

He reached for the third one, and I raised my hand. “Stop. Please, just stop,” I whispered out. A tear fell on my hand, and that’s when I realized I was crying.

Grayson stood up and began yelling. He demanded the tests be redone. He grabbed the third envelope and opened it to see the results. He didn’t even have to read it out loud. He took the glass paperweight off his desk and threw it across the room where it shattered into thousands of pieces. Much like my soul. Much like us.

This is what she wanted. She wanted Grayson, but he didn’t want her. But now, he would be tied to her for the rest of his life.

I looked up at Grayson yelling. This had to stop. I could stop it. I took a deep breath as I pulled the tears back.

“Do it.”

Everyone turned to me. Grayson was the first to speak. “What?”

“I said do it. Give her what she wants.”

Grayson smirked. “What she wants is to tear us apart.”

“Then that’s what we’ll do.”

If Grayson could blow smoke through his nose, he would have. “Have you lost your fucking mind?”

Francisco and Syed took that moment to excuse themselves.

“I’ve never been clearer.”

He held up his hand. “We will figure a way around this.”

“How?! After she’s dragged not only you but your entire family thru the mud? That’s her intentions, right? What happens when the talking makes its way to Abby and Noah? Can you imagine what people would say to them? And your company. You’ve built that company from the ground up. Investors will pull out, and everything will be gone. And now a baby…”

Grayson stepped forward. “We will find a-”

“How?!” I interrupted him again. “There is no other choice, Grayson!” I paused. “And you know it, too, I know you do. We can go around and round on this and for what? Aren’t you tired, Grayson? Because, I am.”

“Emmalin,” his voice came out pained.

“It’s over,” I whispered.

He took a half step back, his shoulders slumped and he shut his eyes. My hands wiped my tears away. This was pointless. It was all pointless. It was pretty evident that this was the only way to end this, to protect everyone.

“Emmalin,” my name came out as a whisper. But I had already disconnected myself. I felt feverish. I felt numb. I felt like giving up, and that’s because I was. I thought back on the past year - everything I had gained and everything I had lost. Everything I had sacrificed. Every day I woke up, telling myself I was going to be strong, if not for me, then for my daughter. But, none of that did any good. I didn’t have the strength to keep fighting. I was tired. So very tired.

I took a deep breath to prepare myself for the next words out of my mouth. “We can figure out a custody arrangement for Emersyn.” My voice was monotone, and I felt like I was drowning.

“Emmalin, don’t do this.”

I kept talking, because it was for the best. “We can try co-parenting until things are official.”

His eyes grew wide as he searched mine. He slowly shook his head. “No. Tell me exactly what you’re saying, Emmalin. If you leave, you take my heart. You are my heart, Emmalin - you and our family. You’re not making this choice for me, like you did when you thought Carmen was back.”

I forced another deep breath. “It’ll be an easy fight. I’m not asking for anything monetary, just to make sure our daughter is taken care of.” I wiped the fallen tears away.

Grayson’s eyes darkened. “Don’t say that, you know divorce is not an option! Divorce is not an option, Emmalin! If you think I’m going to allow you to file and go through a custody battle with our daughter, then you, Mrs. Mandrake, have lost your damn mind.” Grayson was seething, his voice determined.

My eyes steeled into his. “Then lawyer up.” I said it on a whisper, because I knew if I said it any louder, he would see right through me. He stepped back as if I had slapped him. We stood staring at each other for a few minutes, before he turned around, grabbed his keys, and then left.