“Fucking bitch. That fucking little twat! That motherfucking, god damn, ball licking whore!” I back up and try to calm her down. You’d think I’d be pissed, but Julie’s off the fucking rails.

“Whoa there,” I whisper, “that’s your sister you’re talking about. Try to have a little understanding.”

“Understanding? Me? Fuck no. I guess you don’t know me. Julie does not understand.” She huffs and digs through my fridge for a beer. “Wait, that sounded kind of dumb, didn’t it?”

“Yeah, a little. Besides, when did you start talking in the third person?” I ask her. She just shrugs and sits back down on the couch. It’s the same couch I fucked Lena multiple times on. God, I miss that. “Look, it’s not even your kid, so I don’t know why you care this much. It’s probably a mistake to think I could raise a child anyway. I wouldn’t be a good father. Shit, I’d probably turn out like my old man.” A shiver runs through my spine when I think about that. Disgusting.

“Why do I care? Are you really going to ask me that right now?” She’s back out of her seat and now she’s standing on my couch, making a whole speech out of this. Here I am, hanging on for the ride. Julie, man. She’s off her rocker. “She’s my sister and she’s taken care of me all her life. When my father left us, who was there? Lena. When I was drinking breakfast, lunch, and dinner, who was there? Lena. And when I lost my money and couldn’t pay rent, who paid it for me? Fucking Lena.”

“Amen,” I say.

“So yeah, I care. Maybe I care too much. But she deserves someone who’s going to take care of her,” she takes a breath and continues. “Yeah, you guys aren’t like technically together or anything. And yeah, it’s been kind of a bumpy ride with Elijah and me, and everything else. But I can tell you’re a good guy. I could sense that on the first night we met. So, shit! I’m pissed. And she’s having that baby.”

I applaud her, clapping loudly. Clearly I’m drunk, but I have an excuse. It’s been a rough few days, dammit. “Alright, I hear you,” I say. “But you can’t force a woman to have a baby, even if it is mine.”

She frowns, eyebrows creased with heavy thought. “Well, why the hell not? Men did that for like the first two thousand years of human civilization. Why stop now?” She laughs.

I shake my head, laughing a little too. “Yeah, well. I’m not like that. I want what she wants. Whatever makes Lena happy. That’s my new motto or something.” I examine my beer before taking another swig. Julie rolls her eyes at me.

“Lame,” she mutters under her breath. “But it’s commendable, I guess. At the end of the day, though, Lena isn’t a girl you let run away. I know her a little better than you. When the going gets tough, she stays. When the going gets rough, she sways. But when the going gets out-of-fucking-hand, she darts the hell out of there. Don’t let her dart out of there, Colt. You’re too good to let her do that.”

“Hm.” I take another sip of my beer and realize it’s lost its appeal. I set it on the counter and lean back against the leather. “Sounds like someone I know.” I sigh and take a look at the cabin I built myself. It was a palace. My palace. And I built it because things got a little “out-of-fucking-hand,” if you will. Then I found Lena. And like light against darkness, she forced me out of my hiding and showed me what I really was capable of, deep inside. I was capable of love.

I think about the night of the festival, when she hopped on that carousel. All those lights, all those spinning fabrications… They really seemed like they were part of a bigger picture, didn’t they? She made me wonder. She made me want to know more. And when she grabbed my hand, she showed me a world of possibilities. And I wasn’t just talking about her pussy either.

“You’re right, dammit,” I say. “I need to do something. I think I want to start a life with her. You know, a real life. I think it’s time I leave the past behind.”

She claps her hands loudly and slaps my back. I fall forward for a second. Damn she’s strong. “You think? What do you mean, you think?”

“Jesus, you hit like a man!” I exclaim. “I mean, I know. She’s the only good thing I’ve experienced in this life.”

“You’re damn right she is,” she laughs.

“You know, I always wondered if I would meet a woman like her. A woman who could take my breath away,” I say. “You always read about women like that in books or see them in films. But I actually met one. In the flesh.”

“Wait. You read books?” she asks. I sigh very loudly.

“Just tell me what I need to do,” I say. “I’m going to win her heart if it’s the last thing I do.”

She hands me my cell phone and says “Just call her. She’s a simple girl. If she wants to talk, she’ll answer.”

Here I am, drunk off my ass, calling the woman I like. No, love! And the phone rings, and rings, and then rings again. It rings so many damn times that I feel my heart crumble to dust within each silence. Finally, the phone disconnects.

“She denied the call,” I say, with a slight tinge of sadness in my voice. “She actually denied the call.”

“No shit she denied the call!” She laughs loudly and slaps her knee. “I’d deny the call if I was her too.”

“Well then why the hell did you tell me to call her?” I say, throwing the phone at the carpet.

Her eyes grow wide. “Because, you idiot. It makes you look a little better now doesn’t it? You don’t want her thinking you haven’t tried to talk to her about things.”

“I don’t think I get anything. This whole dating thing totally eludes me. I mean, I wasn’t the one who walked out on her. Doesn’t that count for something?” I ask her. “Doesn’t that mean she has to come running back to me?”

She stares at me like all women stare at men when they say something stupid. “Do I really have to answer that for you?” She asks me. “Now you gotta go for plan B. Don’t worry, I have an idea.”