“Just shut the fuck up. For once, can you do that for me?” he screams at me, a plate in his hand. “Go ahead and pout. You think I give a damn?”

Outside, cars honk and zoom past the penthouse. I’ve been told marriage has its ups and downs, but this is not what I bargained for. “Please, Danny. Don’t do this,” I plead, falling to the floor. “Just let me go back home to my parents. I promise, I won’t tell them anything.”

“You are contractually obligated to be with me, honey,” he says, smiling. “You aren’t going anywhere.”

“I won’t let you touch me. Never,” I start to scream. “You make me sick!” He throws the plate on the ground and it crashes all around me.

Ever since I fainted on the day he proposed to me, I’ve felt sick. At first I thought it was just my nerves. Now I’m thinking that something is very wrong with me.

Danny can’t get his facts straight. I’ve read the fine print of the contract. I don’t have to marry him. The contract says he has to propose. That’s it. Legally, I’m free to leave whenever I please. He knows he can block me. He knows he’s stronger than me.

“You lied to me, cunt,” he says. “There’s someone else. I know it!”

“Just let me leave,” I start to bawl. I can’t help it. I’m so afraid. “Please. I won’t tell anyone about this.”

There’s no one else. I don’t know what he’s talking about. Ever since he proposed to me, he’s been completely delusional. I asked him about that second house in Kansas. He told me to shut my mouth. Everything just changed so rapidly.

But, for now, I have a plan. I pick myself off the ground and wipe the tears from my eyes. “You’re right,” I tell him. “I need to behave. I’m really sorry, Danny. You’re the love of my life. I don’t know why I acted so crazy earlier.”

His tone changes. He stops breathing so wild and his voice comes back to normal. “Well,” he coughs, “as long as you know it was your fault.”

“I’m so sorry. When you get home from work tonight, I’ll have the best dinner waiting for you. You like prime rib, right, baby?” I say, smiling slightly.

“Whatever,” he says, grabbing his things and opening the door. “That works.”

He slams the door and for at least a little bit, I’m free. I have no money, no cell phone, and I just feel so much guilt for everything. Even if it isn’t my fault, I feel so fucking stupid for going through with all of this. The tabloids, as crazy as they are, have no idea what it’s been like for me. It’s been complete and utter torture.

I do what I can. I go through Danny’s things. I’m praying he didn’t take my phone with him, that he just hid it in one of his sock drawers or something. Knowing him, he’s got it with him though.

I dig and I dig, until I come across a safe. I run my hand across it. “Okay, so what’s the code,” I ask myself aloud. I wrack my brain trying to think of a number, any number that works. Nothing comes to mind, so I dig around some more. I need to get out of here. I need to get back home to my family.

And then I remember, last week, he mentioned the Wall Street collapse. The date that changed his life forever. I enter in the date and the safe opens. My phone is in the safe, but there’s more tucked away in the back. I reach in and grab a massive stack of envelopes, all folded and wound together by a thread. There’s money underneath them.

I quickly scroll through them and see my name printed on the front. I grab one at random and tear it open, feeling frantic as hell. My hands are shaking and I’m practically sweating bullets. “It can’t be. Can it?” I ask myself, pulling out the dusty piece of paper.

I look at the words:

My darling, Dakota. I fucked up. I should have defected and stayed with you. We should have run off together. I’m sorry if I sound insane. It’s been so many nights over here and I’m not sure how long we’ll last. I miss you. I miss that night. I know it’s wrong, but when I get back, I’m going to find you. I need to tell you how I feel in person.

I drop the piece of paper and quickly rip open another one. Again, the same scrawl scribbled onto the page:

Your thick hair. The way your body’s curves arch for me. I ache to hold you. That was everything to me... I want to feel you again. I want to feast on you…

“He hid these from me,” I whisper to myself. “He didn’t want me to know.”

I grab the letters, money, and my phone and run out of the penthouse, out onto the street, tears flooding my eyes. I run to the train station, even if it is more than twenty minutes away. My adrenaline carries me. I buy the one ticket I need to get out of this place and I sit there waiting for the train.

“What’s wrong?” An elderly woman sitting next to me turns to me and smiles. I wipe the tears from my eyes and conceal the bruise Danny gave me earlier. It’s embarrassing. I don’t want her to think I welcome that kind of abuse. I just got mixed up in a lot bad shit.

“I don’t want to burden you,” I tell her, sniffling. “I’m sorry for making a scene.”

“There’s no need to be sorry. I noticed your cheek,” she gestures toward my face and hands me a tissue. “Get out now.”

“Thank you,” I tell her. “For the tissue.”

“I mean it. Don’t ignore me. I’m from the Bronx, born and raised. I’ve suffered like you all my life and I regret not killing the bastard sooner,” she says with fire in her eyes. “Get out now or you’ll be his prisoner forever.”

My head starts to spin. I feel that strange sickness start to set in. Just like that, I fall to the floor. “Someone get this woman a doctor!” a man yells out. Before I black out completely, I see the woman next to me shake her head and leave. “Get out now,” she says again.

* * *

I wake up to unfamiliar white walls, but I know where I am. I’m in the hospital and the doctor is shaking his head at me just like that woman did. “Good morning,” he says. “I’m Doctor Lackman. We give you a mild sedative and you slept like a baby. How are you feeling?”

“Fine,” I say. “I guess.” Not good. I’m not doing well at all.

“Well, I’m not too happy about your choices,” he says, leaning against the wall and glancing at his clipboard. He sighs. “You shouldn’t be running around in your condition. You could really hurt yourself.”

“My condition?” My eyes dart up sharply and I feel as if I’m going to have a panic attack. My condition? “I can’t have a condition. I’m healthy. I’m young.” You have to be fucking joking me.

“We called your husband,” he says, without responding to my question. Hearing those words is like hearing a bomb go off. “A pregnant woman shouldn’t be darting around the city. It’s not safe.”

Uh, what? Excuse me?

Hearing those words is like a nuclear bomb going off. “What?” I ask him. “What do you mean? I’m not pregnant.” I say with mild confidence, but I know what he’s going to tell me. I already feel it. I’m pregnant.

“You mean, you didn’t know?” he asks, surprised. His eyebrows crease and he has to put the clipboard down for a second. “You’ve been pregnant for about three months Ms. You mean, you didn’t notice?”

“That’s impossible,” I begin to say. “Three months ago I was—” I stop myself.

I haven’t been stupid enough to sleep with Danny. Ever since the show ended, he’s shown me his true colors. Oh my God. The realization is swift and hard when it hits me. Three months ago is when I met Payton. But still, that’s impossible. He wore a condom.

My mind keeps flashing to him putting it on. I’m not stupid. I’m safe. Did it break? Oh, fuck. Please tell me none of this is real, that it’s all a dream and I’ll be able to wake up and go home to my parents, and that this all never happened.

“Uh,” the doctor starts to see what’s going on here. He probably thinks the worst of me. I didn’t know this would happen. It’s not like I planned it out. This is the absolute worst thing that could happen to me right now. I’m having that God damn SEAL’s baby. “Should I not have called your husband?”

“I don’t know,” I shake against the plastic hospital bed, fiddling with my gown. “I really don’t know. Just…”

“Just what?” he leans forward.

“Please don’t tell him. When he gets here,” I say, “please just keep it a secret.”

In walks my husband, Danny. He’s got a giant smile on his face, a complete 180 from earlier. I’m terrified of him. I know his moods. This is the sign that he’s going to flip. Later tonight, he’ll go from happy go lucky to the most insane husband in the world.

“My wife’s pregnant?” he asks it so loud that the whole hospital can probably hear it.

“I’ll leave you two alone,” the doctor whispers. “Your wife is healthy and all set, sir.”

“Thank you Doctor!” he slaps him on the back. Doctor Lackman purses his lips together and shuffles out of the room.

“It was that one night,” Danny looks at me. “Wasn’t it?”

“What?” I say, practically shaking in my gown. I’m caught. I know it.

“Man, I was wasted,” he laughs to himself. “After the ceremony. The last episode of the show. Remember? We went back, I asked if we could, you know…”

I remember the night extremely well. He asked if we could have sex, for the first time. He was forceful. I said no. He wouldn’t stop grabbing at me. Finally, I slapped him and he fell asleep, blacked out drunk. Nothing happened that night. I didn’t think he’d remember any of that.

Still, it’s my way out. I nod and start to cry, smiling. “Yes, honey,” I lie through my teeth. I feel so disgusted with him, my choices, and myself right now. How could I let this happen?

“Oh, honey,” he comes close to me and wraps his arms around me. I feel nothing, except for fear and heartbreak. My life is over. “We’re having a baby!”

I’m so fucked. What’s going to happen when he realizes the letters in the safe are gone? Or that I have my cellphone back? Is he going to beat me again? Is my child going to suffer because of this asshole?

I didn’t know. We should have been more careful. Now, I’m having that SEAL’s baby, and everything is ruined because of it.

“Let’s get you home, baby,” Danny smiles. “You need all the rest you can get.”