“I love you, my sweet darling,” I whisper to our daughter, Angela, at dinner. She smiles and waves back to me, spilling half her food onto the floor.

“Jesus Christ,” Danny says, tossing his napkin onto the table. “Can’t we ever have peace and quiet?”

“It was an accident, Danny,” I shield Angela from him. If he lays a hand on me again in front of her, I swear I’ll scream louder than I ever have before.

“It’s always accidents with you two,” he mumbles to himself.

He picks up his plate and leaves to the room, shaking his head. “Bye daddy!” Angela waves, smiling. He doesn’t even look at her.

It’s been three years since that day at the train station. I’ve moved on from a lot of things in my life since then. Now, I’ve pretty much given up my dreams of being any kind of actress. I always thought that after the show I could at least guest star on some sitcom, or worst case scenario star in an off-Broadway play. But it turns out that things have taken a different turn for me.

I have Payton’s baby. It’s not only that, however. It’s much more. It’s Danny, obviously. It’s what he’s done to me. He controls me. He makes me stay at home with my child, which wouldn’t be the end of the world if he didn’t keep me on a strict budget. If I run out of money, he uses it against me.

Not to mention, I know what he’s doing every weekend. I know why he doesn’t proposition me for sex like a normal husband. The answer is twofold. First of all, Danny isn’t a normal man. He’s much more off than I thought. He’s old fashioned, in a twisted sort of way.

He keeps me because he wants a wife, but a wife gives him no pleasure. He simply wants to carry his name into the new century. He’s told me himself, during many of his drunken stupors. “You’re here to clean up after me and to raise my child. That’s it.”

I’ve tried my best to leave. I’ve phoned my parents. I’ve run away, even. But he has money and he’s willing to fight for me. He made sure my parents can’t even get to me now. Worst of all, I’m pretty sure he wants a son. I keep putting off the talk with him, but I know it’s coming soon. I can sense his dissatisfaction with having a daughter.

When Danny goes out, he’s not just hanging out with his buddies from Wall Street. He’s meeting his many girlfriends. He’s promising them new lives, new dreams, and new adventures. He’s offering them everything. Of course, they don’t last. He gets bored with fucking their skinny brains out and he moves on to the next girl. They’re all young, around 18.

He’s a fucking creep.

Mainly, I try and just push through the day. It sounds crazy thinking it like that, but at a certain point, I started to blame myself for everything. Even though I’m not even the one doing anything wrong, I can’t help but think I’m the reason for all of this. It’s my fault he treats me this way. I deserve it.

I decide to go outside to have a smoke. I’ve told him so many times, if I’m going to be with him, he’s going to have to trust me a little. It’s the only freedom I really get. A few hours to myself these days goes a long way towards my sanity.

I set Angela in the stroller, buckle her in, and kiss her forehead. When we get down to the street, she’s singing her favorite theme song from her favorite television show. She laughs to herself and a man walks by me. He looks at Angela and says “God, what a cute kid.”

“Thank you,” I smile. It’s the small moments that make me feel better about myself.

The man smiles back, but he doesn’t continue on his path. I awkwardly turn away, pushing the stroller forward, and lighting my cigarette.

“You shouldn’t smoke though,” he says, quite rudely actually. “You could kill yourself. Or your baby.”

“Yeah?” I turn around. “Well maybe I don’t care too much about living right now. Ever think about that?” I hold myself back from screaming and I push forward.

Still, the man persists. He follows me to the end of the block and just when I’m about to cross the street, I feel his hand touch my shoulder.

“Listen, please,” I back away from him. He’s got a raincoat on that covers half of his face. “Just leave me alone, okay? I haven’t had the best week.”

“You’ve changed,” he says. “The girl I remember didn’t react like that to things.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” I ask, stepping in front of Angela. I start to feel weird, like I shouldn’t have left the apartment. Maybe Danny is right. Maybe the streets are too dangerous to walk.

No. That’s what he wants me to think. He wants me to stay inside forever. He wants me to die a scared and shrill old woman. This is probably one of his friends he hired to mess with me.

It starts to pour and now I’m soaked. Angela laughs with glee, of course, clapping her hands against the water. “It’s raining!” she says. “Wow!”

“Yes, sweetie. We have to go inside now…” I whisper to her.

“Uh oh,” she says, getting water in her shoes. I push her back toward the apartment.

“The girl I knew was spontaneous. She wasn’t afraid of going outside. What happened?” the strange man asks.

I turn around and breathe out sharp and impatient. He continues, “So, I go off to war to defend your freedom and this is how you use it? I’m sorry, Dakota. But you’ve changed.”

I squint against the darkness outside. I can’t make out his face. “Payton?” I find myself asking, even though it’s just about the dumbest thing I’ve ever asked. I don’t let him answer. “Sorry, for a split second I thought you were someone else.”

“I’ve looked all over for you,” he says. My heart starts to pound and I collapse when he takes off the hood of his coat. He falls to the ground with me, holding me up. The rain pours down on us and we’re both soaking wet.

“I’ve found you. I knew I could do it,” he says, incredulously.

“No,” I whisper. “This isn’t real. This is a nightmare. This whole thing is a nightmare.”

His smile fades and I’m left struggling to grasp at the pieces of my life that lay before me. “Who’s baby is this?” he suddenly asks me, setting me to my feet. “Are you not happy to see me?”

“It’s a woman upstairs. I take her on a walk every night. She works long hours,” I lie, avoiding eye contact with him.

“Why can’t you look at me?” he asks. “If I’ve offended you, I’m sorry. You don’t understand how long I’ve been looking forward to this day. I—”

I can’t stand to hear any more of this. I push Angela to the doorway of our penthouse and hurry away. “Please,” I try to hold in my tears, “if you’re smart, you’ll stay away from me.”

“Dakota,” he calls out. “I came out all this way to find you. I’ve been searching for years. I… shit, I miss you. I miss that night.”

The images flood my mind. I was younger and much happier. I had seen better days. The feeling that memory gives me is undeniably good. It fills my whole body with warmth. It also makes me think about my current situation and that fills me with dread and misunderstanding.

“How did it all end up like this?” I ask myself aloud. Payton stands there, getting drenched by the rain. He looks desperate, like he’s ready to take me away from here.

“You’re not a prisoner,” he says. “You can leave at any time.”

“You don’t understand,” I cry. “Fuck. No one understands.”

I turn and slide my key card through the slot in front of the door. I quickly open the door and look at him one more time. “I wish you hadn’t come,” I tell him. “I don’t need to relive the past, Payton. I just need to keep my marriage intact.”

And just like that, another door cuts us off. I press the button to the elevator and head upstairs to my husband, Danny.