Joey wasn’t sure if he was making a big mistake. But Gabe didn’t seem like a serial killer.

His brain helpfully reminded him that most didn’t.

His gut told him not to be so stupid though. That Gabe was someone he could trust. Besides, he’d made zero hints about wanting anything sordid in return for a place to sleep for the night. In fact, Joey was mildly disappointed as he watched Gabe rummaging through his cupboard for spare linen.

Sharing a bed with such a gorgeous guy might not have been such a hardship.

But Gabe fussed over sheets and blankets and squishy pillows as he made up the sofa in such a luxurious way it made Joey’s flimsy camp bed in the basement look like a dumpster. He sighed, trying not to let his giddy relief show too badly.

“It’s going to be so nice just to sleep,” he said with a nervous laugh. “My nephew’s teething and he wakes up at five every morning, without fail, screaming his head off.”

Gabe laughed. “Bless him. I hope he’s at least cute when he’s not crying?”

Joey shrugged. Sure he was. But Joey wasn’t allowed anywhere near him. It was like they were scared the kid was going to catch fucking AIDS or something. It hurt, a lot, so he said nothing.

Instead, he looked around at Gabe’s place. It was nice, grown up. Lots of personal knick-knacks around that made it look like it had been lived in for a long time. Photos and ornaments and furniture that match. Again, he wondered how old Gabe was to have been able to accumulate something like this.

“Nice house,” he said. He was aware he was still clutching his backpack strap over his shoulder, like holding on to that might protect him. At least he’d kicked his shoes off by the door.

“It’s my parents’ place,” Gabe said fondly. “I inherited it.”

“Oh,” said Joey softly. “I’m sorry.” The way Gabe had spoken so passionately about family, Joey assumed he had been close with his folks.

But Gabe’s eyebrows raised in alarm. “Oh no,” he spluttered with a laugh. “They’re not dead. They just retired to Florida.”

Relief flooded Joey. He was doubly glad that Gabe’s parents were still with them, and also that he hadn’t put his foot in it. “That’s cool,” he said. Florida wasn’t his favorite place in the world, but he could understand the appeal of that much sunshine.

“I was a surprise baby,” Gabe continued cheerfully as he put the finishing touches on Joey’s bed. “So they are kind of old. Although you wouldn’t really know it.” He rolled his eyes affectionately. “My mom’s obsessed with Disney. Florida was the ideal place for her to settle down, and my dad basically does anything to make her happy.”

“They sound sweet,” Joey said. He managed to keep the tinge of jealousy out of his voice. If his dad found out his mom liked anything, he always mocked the shit out of it. His mom always laughed it off as a joke, but Joey could see how much it hurt her when his dad ridiculed her TV shows or attempts she made to draw.

“They are,” said Gabe. He sounded wistful.

“You miss them,” Joey observed.

Gabe smiled. “Yeah, but we talk all the time on the phone. And I gave my new cat a Disney name that I knew Mom would approve of. It makes it feel like she’s around.” He shook his head. “It’s dumb, I know.”

It wasn’t dumb, but Joey was too busy looking around to say so. “You have a cat?” he asked, incredulous.

Gabe scoffed. “I know, right?” He surprised Joey by suddenly dropping to his belly. “Here, Duchess,” he cooed. “Come out and meet our guest!”

When nothing happened, Joey tentatively let his bag rest on the carpet, then crouched beside Gabe. He still couldn’t see under the sofa where Gabe was looking, so he mimicked him and laid down.

There, in the dark, cramped space, was indeed a cat. She looked at them with wide eyes, her pupils so large Joey couldn’t see the color of her irises. She had a couple of toes missing as well as a chunk from one of her ears, and her fur was all patchy. “That’s Duchess?” he said. That was adorable. He’d never seen a less regal-looking cat in his life.

Gabe chuckled and sat back up again. Joey followed. “Well, I don’t think she’s coming out. She shouldn’t disturb you overnight though.”

“I don’t mind,” Joey said. He really didn’t. He hadn’t felt this relaxed in a long, long time. He wasn’t worried sick about making rent or terrified his dad was going to come storming down in a filthy temper. He felt safe.

Which was strange, considering how he didn’t know Gabe, and he didn’t have a cent to his name. But for now, he was all right. He could sleep.

“Hey, are you hungry?” Gabe asked, already getting to his feet and heading towards the kitchen. “I have leftover lasagna and potato chips and carrot sticks and other stuff.”

Wordlessly, Joey rose to his feet and followed. Gabe looked so happy as he rummaged through his refrigerator. “I’m okay,” he lied.

“Are you sure?” asked Gabe. “I’m starving, think I’m gonna nuke some lasagna. I made too much, so you’d be helping me out.”

Joey felt like maybe he was just saying that, but it was enough to give him an out. “Well, if it’d be doing you a favor?” He grinned, watching Gabe stick a couple of Tupperware bowls into his microwave and set the timer.

“Beer?”

Joey agreed with just a nod. There was a lump in his throat. All this kindness was overwhelming. Gabe must surely want something in return? But even as he thought it to himself, he discounted it. He knew enough by now to trust that Gabe was just a nice guy.

Joey leaned back against the wood dining table and looked around the kitchen. It really was a nice place.

“So how long have you lived here?”

Gabe took a swig of his beer. “All my life,” he said. “I’m so lucky. My folks just let me rent it for just enough to cover their place in Florida.”

“You like it here then?” Joey asked, sipping his own drink.

He couldn’t imagine voluntarily staying in the same place for his whole life, let alone an area like this. Maybe it was Joey’s own, personal experience of Greenwich – it was a big town after all. But mostly his life had been confined to downtown, which felt too small to him. Claustrophobic.

Gabe smiled warmly though. “Yeah,” he said. “Home is where your heart is and all that.”

Joey looked at him. He had beautiful brown eyes. “I always took that to mean home could be anywhere your heart was happy,” he admitted.

Gabe picked at the corner of his bottle label. “And for you, that’s New York?”

“It’s anywhere but here,” Joey said with a bit too much scorn. “Sorry, I guess…I’ve never felt welcomed like you do. L.A., New York, London. Places like that have always been more accepting of people like me.”

Gabe frowned. “Yeah, I get that. I guess,” he said. But he sounded sad. Hurt maybe.

Joey didn’t know what to say though. He wasn’t going to take it back and say he liked being home. Gabe thought this place was his community, that it loved him for giving it so much. But Joey had heard firsthand how people were willing to spit that back in his face.

Luckily, the microwave pinged and saved them from the awkward silence that was brewing. If Gabe had been slipping into a funk, he shook it off as he dished up their cheesy, meaty pasta.

“That smells amazing,” Joey said. He was being truthful, but he also wanted to offer an olive branch too. Despite not understanding his attachment to such a crappy, limited town, Joey did really like Gabe. He was glad they were getting to know each other better.

“It’s my mom’s recipe,” Gabe admitted. “I don’t do it justice, but I try.”

Joey had to disagree as they sat at the kitchen table and tucked in. He supposed he’d been deprived of home cooking for a long time, so that might be why he thought it tasted so divine. But it really was very good. He had to slow himself down from eating it too fast, otherwise he’d get indigestion.

“So,” Gabe said. Joey looked up, aware his mouth was uncomfortably full. He tried to chew quickly but discretely. “I guess you must miss being in the band a lot. That would make it hard to come back here. It must be boring.”

Joey swallowed and licked his lips. Gabe’s words were cheerful, but Joey wasn’t an idiot. He was upset that Joey hated his hometown so much.

“It’s not boring,” said Joey with a small smile. He placed his fork down. “It’s…lonely. I don’t have anything in common with anyone. I’m not trying to be a dick saying that. It’s just…people love to settle down here and be close with to families and work in places where they already know half the people there. My family hates me, and…” There was no way to explain himself without coming across extremely arrogant. But he wanted to try and make Gabe see. “There’s this whole world out there. It’s filled with people in every color, who lead so many different lives. They have different traditions and cultures and the more you see of it, the more your own mind expands. But here, people don’t like being challenged. So when there’s something outside their narrow view on how life should be, they reject it.” He looked back down at his half-eaten food. “They reject me. That’s why I can’t stay. Because I’m not wanted.”

He could feel the tears stinging the backs of his eyes, but he managed to blink them away before he looked up again.

Gabe looked at him with pity. That just made things worse. Joey would have preferred it if he’d pissed him off.

“I guess we see the town kind of differently,” Gabe said. Laying his own cutlery down. “I’m really sorry you’ve been made to feel that way. New York sounds like it’ll be great for you.”

Joey opened his mouth to reply, but he couldn’t find the words. He wanted to say he was sorry. Sorry he’d been bullied through school and terrorized by his dad and had ‘faggot’ scribbled over his possessions more times than he could count.

He didn’t understand how Gabe could be out and not have had the same treatment. But then, Gabe was the acceptable kind of gay. He was handsome and straight-seeming and didn’t rock the boat. Not like Joey, always causing trouble just by showing up places.

“I didn’t mean to insult you,” said Joey.

But Gabe shook his head. “You didn’t. Although that food has hit my system and I’m suddenly shattered. Do you mind if I head up to bed?”

Away from you.

Joey managed a smile. “Not at all.”

Gabe regarded him fondly. “Help yourself to anything you want,” he said. “I think I have a spare toothbrush too. I’ll leave it in the bathroom. Do you need anything else?” Joey shook his head, so Gabe nodded back. “I’ll see you in the morning then.”

Joey watched him leave, hating himself. He didn’t know how else he could have responded without lying, but his words had put a wedge between him and the first friend he’d made in years. Probably his only friend in Greenwich right now.

He forced himself to eat more of the lasagna, purely because he couldn’t afford to let good food go to waste. Who knew when he’d be able to get something this good again, let alone for free?

But it felt like stones in his belly. When he couldn’t stomach any more, he scraped the leftovers in the trash and washed the dishes, drying them then searching the cupboards to put them and the cutlery away in the right place.

He crept upstairs and brushed his teeth with the new toothbrush Gabe had left out for him. Who had spares of things like that, for crying out loud? But Joey was grateful. It meant he had one more task to occupy him before bed. But with his mouth scrubbed fresh and minty, all he really had left to do was sleep.

He traipsed downstairs, wincing at the squeaky steps that he inadvertently trod on. But Gabe didn’t seem to stir from his room.

Joey looked under the sofa. Sure enough, Duchess was still crouched there. He would have said she’d been asleep, but as soon as he looked at her she cracked an eyelid open a millimeter to stare at him.

“Night, night, kitty,” he whispered.

Gabe had done a nice job of making up his bed. Despite Joey’s crappy mood, he was looking forward to snuggling up and getting some shut-eye. So he pulled off all his clothes apart from his boxers and turned off all the lights.

He signed shakily and wrapped the comforter tightly around him.

Knowing he’d upset Gabe was eating away at him. He tried to close his eyes against the darkness and switch off. But he kept picturing the look of Gabe’s disappointment in him.

Fuck, maybe the problem wasn’t this town. Maybe it was Joey. Just ruining everything he touched. Maybe it had nothing at all to do with the fact he was gay, but simply that he was a selfish asshole.

He wished in a way that he hadn’t called Gabe. He could have taken his chances in New York. It was likely he could have found a way to get through the night, then that way he wouldn’t have fucked things up.

He was restless in the makeshift bed, tossing and turning as his thoughts darkened. It would probably be best if he left early in the morning. Crept out before Gabe woke up and had to deal with him again.

The idea made him feel sick though. Gabe needed an apology. He had dragged his ass out in the middle of the night because Joey was too dumb to keep a hold of his own fucking wallet. He hadn’t complained once or made Joey feel bad or guilty. Then he’d fed him and offered him a bed for free.

Joey was a terrible person if he repaid that by shitting all over the life he led. The life he seemed very happy in. Who was Joey to judge that, really?

Apologizing in the morning didn’t seem good enough. As if possessed by something demented, Joey yanked the covers back and marched back upstairs before his courage could desert him. Gabe’s door was open a crack, and Joey approached it with his heart in his mouth.

“Gabe?” he whispered as he knocked softly.

There was a rustling of covers. “Joey?” He didn’t sound sleepy. At least Joey hadn’t woken him.

“Can I come in, just for a second?”

“Sure.”

Joey crept in, not turning on a light. There was just enough moonlight that he could make out Gabe’s bulk in the bed. Joey wrapped his arms around his skinny frame. He knew he’d lost weight and muscle mass since returning home. He wished he’d thought to stop and put some jeans on at least instead of racing up here in his damn underwear.

“I’m sorry,” he blurted, still whispering. It didn’t seem right to talk at a normal level. “You’ve been so kind to me and I was a complete jackass. I shouldn’t have said those things about the people who live here.” He took a deep breath. “About you. It’s just my issues. Not you.”

“Joey,” Gabe said with a sigh. “You don’t have to apologize. But…thank you. I get it.”

Joey nodded, then felt stupid, because they were in the dark. He hugged himself tighter, unable to stop the tears that finally spilled onto his cheeks. “Tonight was the longest I’ve talked with anyone in months. The longest I’ve hung out with anyone. I…I had a nice time, despite ruining it at the end.”

He could just see Gabe’s form as he sat up in the bed and looked at him. He didn’t like the thought that Gabe could see him back, even just a little. He was exposed; his skinny body and his multiple, personal tattoos.

“I had a nice evening too,” Gabe said. He sounded sincere.

Fuck. Joey didn’t want to leave. He couldn’t stand being on his own another minute. Gabe was beautiful and hot as sin, but he was also kind and generous. Joey felt like he was severely lacking people like that in his life.

“If I stayed, could we just sleep,” he managed to stammer out. He rubbed his face, trying to wipe away the tears, and took an unsteady breath. “I know you’ve done so much already, but I just…I don’t want to be alone.” Another breath in. “If that’s way out of line, I can go back downstairs.”

“Come here,” said Gabe gently. He flipped the cover back and patted the mattress.

Joey walked slowly over. Despite being the one to ask, now he was nervous. It had been so long since he’d felt the comfort of sleeping next to somebody though, and Gabe made him feel so painfully safe. “I won’t try anything,” he said with a nervous laugh.

“I trust you,” Gabe replied.

Joey sat on the mattress and groaned. The sofa had been a step up from the rickety camp bed, but this just felt like heaven. He quickly curled up, facing Gabe and hauled the thick comforter over him.

Gabe eased himself back down so he was laying down again. Looking at each other was too much, so Joey hastily turned. “Thank you,” he rasped, squeezing his eyes shut.

“No problem,” Gabe murmured behind him.

Joey was tense for a few minutes, but Gabe didn’t move an inch. In fact, after a while, Joey heard heavy breathing that suggested he’d fallen asleep.

Joey allowed himself to relax again. To find that comfort and tranquility that he’d first felt when Gabe had insisted he stay the night. His bed was unbelievably soft, cradling him and reminding his back that this was how it should be supported.

It was pathetic, but Joey generally slept better when he was around other people. Even on the tour bus in those cramped bunks, he was always lulled to sleep by TJ’s snuffles or Raiden and Reyse’s whispered conversations. Knowing that Gabe was next to him and respected his wish not to do anything more than sleep was deeply soothing.

Shortly after, Joey could feel his own mind gradually switching off, allowing unconsciousness to creep over him.

It had been a long day. He was ready for it to be over.