Gabe was walking aimlessly. Seriously, fuck this week.

What the hell had just happened? First, he got treated completely outrageously by Lewis, but stood his ground because he knew how much he’d come to care for Joey. He tried to tell Joey this, and the little shit breaks up with him? Which, of course, was his right if that’s how he really felt, but did he have to be so nasty about it?

If Gabe had expected anyone to understand what it feels like to have your personal life twisted and demonized by the public, it would have been Joey. Except, he’d acted totally disgusted and didn’t even want to give Gabe a chance to explain.

Gabe scrubbed his face again and took a deep breath of freezing night air. This hurt more than he could have imagined. He wanted to run back to Joey and demand he listen, that they hash this out properly. But his dad had come out looking like a raging bull, and Gabe just hadn’t had the energy to deal with a homophobic asshole as well.

That caused him a twinge of worry. What had Joey had to cope with once Gabe had left?

Gabe scoffed and shook his head. He couldn’t look after Joey too. He had to put himself first for once in his goddamned life. The sad truth was Joey had probably been eager for an excuse to run away and not even try to be a couple. He’d always made his views on a cozy, small-town life painfully clear. Because Gabe didn’t want the hustle and bustle of a big cosmopolitan he was never going to be good enough for someone like Joey.

He angrily rubbed at his sore eyes under his glasses. He needed to stop crying, now. If this was how Joey really was, it was better to find out now rather than several months down the line. This was just a blip. Gabe had said when he and Lewis split that he wanted to work on how to be single. He never intended to fall so hard and fast for Joey.

For now, he just needed to focus on getting through these shitty accusations, keeping his job and then maybe in the new year he could consider dating again.

The idea of dating someone who wasn’t Joey brought a fresh wave of tears, but he forced them back down. He was just sad for the imagined ‘what if,’ not Joey himself, he was sure. He didn’t know Joey enough to be this fucking devastated.

He pulled his phone out. For the briefest of moments, he hoped Joey might have messaged to apologize, to ask him to come back. But of course there was nothing.

Gabe considered calling his mom and dad, but they wouldn’t be able to help much. Plus, it was pretty late, they’d probably be asleep. Instead, he hit Mitch’s number.

“Hey, son,” he said on the third ring. “How’s it going?”

“Hey, Mitch,” Gabe said, hearing his voice catch. “Uh, sorry, I know this is a massive intrusion, and if you’re busy no worries at all, it’s just, uh-”

“Do you want to come round for dinner, Gabriel?”

Gabe stopped and smiled up into the falling snow. He choked back a sob. “That would be awesome,” he said emphatically. “I can grab some beer on my way.”

“No need, we have plenty,” Mitch insisted. “Just get your butt over here, okay?”

Gabe thanked him and made his way to the nearest bus stop. Normally, he’d walk it over town, but with the snow and bitter wind, he thought it best to get a ride most of the way instead.

He didn’t look at anyone on the bus. He didn’t want to risk seeing a look of recognition or disgust. He just kept his eyes down and his breathing steady.

It was amazing, he noticed in a detached sort of way, how much Joey’s cruel words cut deeper than the man he thought he’d loved for five years letting him down completely. It was like he’d never known either of them at all, but Joey had felt like the missing piece to his heart. Now his heart was just in tatters, bleeding out into his chest.

He grimaced as he disembarked from the bus and decided to leave the full-on anatomical imagery for the medical dramas. His heart was just fine, pumping away like it always did. Just like Gabe would. He’d keep on with his life just as he had before.

Mitch and his wife lived in a nice part of town. Not the flashiest, but they had a three-story house and a newish car parked in the driveway that worked great. They even had enough left in the bank to go on a few vacations each year. So Gabe didn’t feel too much of an imposing heel as he rang the bell.

Mitch pulled him into a hug as soon as he opened the door, then pressed an icy beer into Gabe’s already-cold hand. “Come on in, son. Tell us all about it.”

Gabe chuckled and let Mitch and his wife Mary-Lou fuss over him. Their house was toasty warm, making Gabe glad he’d left the heat on for Duchess back at his own place. Gabe was greeted not only by the Curtises but by their fat, old chocolate Labrador, Timmy, and purring black cat Lotus.

Mary-Lou had made spaghetti with meatballs and they’d waited for Gabe to arrive to serve. So he was immediately ushered into a seat in their dining room and presented with a huge bowl of beef and pasta.

Gabe moaned as he took the first bite. Mary-Lou’s cooking was even better than his own mom’s, although he’d never admit that out loud. This was just what he needed after such a terrible day.

Mitch allowed him to get through about half his plate without probing for answers. Mitch and Mary-Lou argued good-naturedly about feeding the dog at the table. Or rather, Mitch told Mary-Lou off every time she held out half a meatball for Timmy on her fork, and Mary-Lou raised her eyebrows as if she had no idea what he was talking about.

Lotus managed to climb on the table from every single route possible, hopefully sniffing at the cheese sauce on whoever’s plate was closest. Mitch never paused or blinked each time he picked the cat up and placed him back on the floor, only to have to repeat the action thirty seconds later. Gabe guessed the only solution was for everyone to eat their meals as fast as possible. He was okay with that.

When Gabe started to slow down and his beer needed replenishing, Mitch pushed again. “Go on then,” he said, leaning back and rubbing his own belly absently. “I’m guessing you’re not all in a twist because of Debbie Slater’s nonsense. Unless…has she done something else?”

Gabe sighed and looked between them. They’d always been there for Gabe in the years he’d been working for Mitch, even more so since his parents’ retirement.

So he didn’t feel he needed to hold anything back. After assuring them that Debbie hadn’t upped her accusations, yet, he launched into recounting his god-awful afternoon and evening, all the while stroking old Timmy’s head. From Lewis’s pushiness to his downright deplorable change of heart once Gabe refused to try dating again. Then how hard it was to see Max and let him go again. His realization about his feelings towards Joey…then the gut-wrenching rejection he’d experienced on his front doorstep.

“I just don’t get it,” said Gabe, now on his third beer. He wasn’t really interested in drinking it though as much as he was picking off the label. “I really thought we had something going between us. I…” he faltered, but a masochistic part of him wanted to say it out loud. “I thought I loved him. I think I love him.” Because despite the vile words they’d exchanged, he did still feel like he was in love with Joey.

Urgh, that was annoying. Why couldn’t he have just been a rebound fling? Gabe tore another strip of the label off.

Mary-Lou stopped his hand from fidgeting by placing a fork in it and a plate of tiramisu where he’d not even noticed his pasta had disappeared from. “Maybe you just need to talk with him again, when you’re both a little more coolheaded?”

Gabe rolled his hands. “What else is there to say?”

Mary-Lou glanced at Mitch as he picked Lotus up and let him settle in his lap. “Sounds like neither of you said much at all,” she said kindly.

“I think this boy is scared,” said Mitch. “Terrified, actually. You come along and you’re a damn fine young man. He’s probably used to being treated like crap by everyone, not just his family.”

Gabe sighed. “Yeah, I did think that,” he admitted.

“Send him a text, at least,” Mary-Lou urged, sipping her beer. “Tell him there’s no truth to the rumors and that he means so much to you. Maybe he just needs time to hear it on his own.”

Mitch was nodding. “Men can be stubborn creatures,” he said with a chuckle, glancing at Mary-Lou. She poked his arm affectionately. “Obviously we don’t want you getting hurt, and maybe this guy isn’t the one for you. But, if you really think you love him, he might be worth trying again?”

Gabe wanted that so badly. He’d already missed Joey enough this week; it had been so wonderful to see his face when he’d opened the door earlier. Then it had all gone south so fast.

He nodded. “I want to text him,” he said, reaching for his phone.

Mitch smiled and Mary-Lou nodded. “We’ll give you a minute,” she said.

Gabe was grateful. He watched them slip outside and share a cigarette. They’d been together forever, and they were still so happy.

It took him ages to work out what he wanted to say, with many drafts discarded and rewritten. In the end, he decided to be honest and keep it simple.

Whatever you heard about me being unfit for work isn’t true, it’s just homophobic bullshit, I promise. Please don’t let this tear us apart. I’ve missed you so much this week. If you want, I’d really like to talk again. Gabe xxx

He had written and erased ‘I love you’ from the end so many times. But in the end, Gabe decided if he was going to tell Joey that, he wanted to do it in person, so he could see his reaction. So Joey could see how much he meant it. Those weren’t empty words to be thrown around in an apology. The first time you said ‘I love you’ to a person was important.

Gabe hit send, then placed his phone down on the table to wait.