It was surprising how easily Joey slipped back into old habits. It wasn’t that hard to find all manner of ways to keep himself out of the house. As long as he had his laptop charger with him, he could make a cup of coffee last all day with free refills at the diner downtown. The waitresses were mostly motherly sorts during the day. So far they hadn’t grilled him too badly about his return home, and when he caved and ordered food, he noticed the portions tended to be generous ones.

The library offered him the chance to listen to new music for free, which he appreciated more than the coffee. It lifted his spirits and kept him going through the rejection emails, although he had managed to get a few auditions. They hadn’t led to parts, but Joey wasn’t giving up and neither was his agent, Martha. He just had to get a bit of luck his way.

The library had the added advantage of an excellent view. Joey wasn’t sure what a gorgeous hunk like Gabe was doing working there, but it made being stuck in his hometown slightly more bearable, although he’d avoided talking to him again. Joey was embarrassed at what Gabe must think of him after his fall from grace. So it was better to admire from afar.

His mom’s money meant he could afford to travel into New York City when he had to. When auditions called him there, he spent the whole day either in cheap pizzerias or cafes, dreaming of the day he could call the city home.

Where possible, he left his house early and came back late at night. He felt bad for his mom, but it wasn’t worth the hostile silence he received from Patrick or Cathy when he ran into them, or the sneers his dad threw his way. The basement didn’t have a lock, so he kept his possessions in his one bag, taking everything with him wherever he went. God only knew what he’d do if his jeans ripped or his shoes broke. He had to make his mom’s money last as long as he could.

Worry ate away at him day and night. He was exhausted and on edge all the time, which probably came across in his auditions and job applications despite his best efforts. Desperation was an ugly thing.

So when he happened across some sort of town fair one Saturday, he couldn’t help but be drawn to the colorful stalls as a welcome respite from his continuous cycle of agonizing over work and finances.

The weather was cold but sunny as he headed into the park. He recognized a lot of faces as he looked around at the homemade pies and game stations. But with his earphones firmly jammed in his ears, he found most people simply nodded his way and didn’t try to talk to him. His novelty was thankfully waning, although there was generally one person a day who still wanted to stop him on the sidewalk and get his life’s story.

He didn’t know which was worse. The ones who looked at him with pity or the ones who seemed to hardly be able to contain their glee. Some talked about Blake and the others like they knew them, which irritated him. Especially those who thought because they watched Blake’s shows that they were his best friend. Those were generally the kind to rub his success in Joey’s face.

Joey didn’t begrudge Blake or the others. It wasn’t their fault he was the only one struggling after the band’s demise. But it was hard not to feel jealous, especially in his darkest moments.

So that was precisely why he was going to allow himself to enjoy some spontaneous fun at the fair. He didn’t have money to waste, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t enjoy looking at the handcrafted Halloween decorations for sale, or the delicious smells of pumpkin pie and mulled hard cider.

A girl about his age perked up when she saw him approaching. She was standing behind one of the game stalls. It looked like a simple task of throwing tennis balls through holes that had been cut into the plywood, each with numbers painted next to them to indicate scores. She caught Joey’s eye and broke into a huge smile. He felt bad walking away after that, so he pulled his earphones out and smiled back.

“Hey,” he said. No one else was at her stall, so he didn’t mind going over.

“Hi, Joey,” she said breathlessly. He was certain he didn’t know her, so he assumed she was a fan. It had been a while since someone had been this excited to see him and he felt a rush of gratitude towards the girl. “You want to play?”

“Sure,” he said warmly, despite the fact he was worried about wasting money. It was for local charity though, he’d noticed, so that made it better. “How much?”

“One dollar for a shot, or six shots for five dollars,” she said like she’d been practicing the line for days. “All proceeds go to the homeless shelter that opened last month.”

In his darkest moments, Joey had wondered if he’d end up on the street. That made him even more okay to hand over a five-dollar bill. He knew he was only one step away from needing help like that himself.

He drew a little crowd as he failed horribly to get the balls through the holes. The girl clapped and cheered in a very sweet way though, keeping him smiling, and even slipped him an extra free ball to try one last time. When he got it through the biggest hole, the half a dozen people around him gave a little cheer and clapped him on the back. There was a couple with little twin girls both dressed as Wonder Woman who insisted on hugging him once he was done. Also two women slightly older than him in geeky sweaters that simply congratulated him good-naturedly.

The girl behind the stall asked breathlessly for a selfie together before he left. All in all, Joey felt a bit better as he carried on walking between the novelties.

He was naturally drawn to the firefighters congregated around the firetruck parked on an opening on the grass. They were allowing excitable kids to sit in the cab and showing them the hose, and Joey smiled at the happy scene it made.

Shamefully, he hoped there would be one or two hot guys he might entertain himself looking at. Sure enough, he quickly spied a promising specimen, only to do a double take.

It was Gabe. From the library.

What the hell was he doing dressed up as a fireman? It made more sense, given his physique, but he’d said he worked at the library.

He realized he wasn’t the only one staring. Three women just in front of him were looking Gabe’s way as they sipped something from thermos flasks. Their lips were moving, so Joey subtly pulled his earbuds out of his ears again.

“-wear it more often,” said the blonde one.

The other two, a brunette and another blonde sporting fluffy earmuffs, nodded. “He should do a calendar,” said Earmuffs, sliding her gaze up and down Gabe’s form. There wasn’t much to be seen in his bulky firefighter’s gear, so they must have known what he looked like when he was wearing less.

Joey felt a bit uncomfortable seeing as Gabe was currently holding a little girl on his hip, showing her the lights at the front of the truck. He looked fatherly, not provocative, but the women were practically salivating over him.

Joey wondered how old Gabe was. Whether he had kids of his own. Was that, in fact, his daughter? Joey placed his age at mid to late twenties, so it was possible he was a dad. The thought that he was married made Joey slightly sad, which was ridiculous. It wasn’t like he’d have a chance with someone like that whether he was single or not. Or gay.

“He should work for the department full-time,” Brunette said. “He looks like a real firefighter. Not like old Bertie over there.”

They sniggered at an older guy who had a paunch and red nose. Joey glared at the women for their unkindness, even though they couldn’t see him. The guy Bertie was obviously fit enough to still be serving in a job that saved lives, for fuck’s sake. Who were they to judge him because he wasn’t attractive enough?

They had answered his query regarding Gabe’s job though. It sounded like he just worked part-time with the fire department on top of his other job. What kind of guy did that sort of thing for fun?

Joey thought maybe he’d like to find out.

He was about to take his leave and put his music back on, but Earmuff’s next comment stopped him.

“It would be more appropriate if he stuck with the fires,” she said sagely. “Pompeii said he was teaching in her art club at the library. I just don’t think that’s suitable.”

“Is he not qualified?” asked Brunette.

Earmuffs shrugged. “No idea. But people like him shouldn’t be around children. It’s just confusing for them. They’re too young to have that thrust in their faces.” She waved at the display going on. “I wouldn’t let Pompeii go over there with him.”

Blondie raised her eyebrows. “Because he’s gay?”

Earmuffs nodded. “I think I’ll have a word with the head librarian. If they don’t do something about it, I’m pulling Pompeii from the club.”

“Isn’t that a bit extreme?” asked Brunette with a nervous giggle. “I mean, as long as he’s not talking to the kids about – you know – it doesn’t really harm anything, does it?”

Earmuffs turned enough so Joey could see her arch an eyebrow. “I know equal rights is all the rage,” she said snootily. “They have marriage now, which I guess is okay, but they shouldn’t just be allowed in jobs where they can influence our kids, Jenny. We have to protect our children.”

From what? Joey wanted to demand. His blood was boiling with rage. How dare these women stand there drooling over Gabe one second, then in the next breath question his right to be around children?

Jenny, the brunette, looked uncomfortable. “I don’t know,” she said, giggling nervously again. “He mows my mom’s lawn once a week, every week since her arthritis got bad, and old Mrs. Turnell’s. And he helped with that homeless shelter. Not sure how, but Lara said he was there two evenings a week, come hail or shine.”

“None of those activities involve children though, do they?” replied Earmuffs, an icy tone creeping into her words.

Blondie arched an eyebrow. “He drove the scout bus into NYC over the summer,” she said. Her tone suggested that she agreed with Earmuffs, and sure enough, the other woman nodded.

“Exactly. Why is it suddenly okay to allow a queer to do all these things?” She scoffed and sipped her thermos, leaving a bright red lipstick mark behind. “I don’t care what they do behind closed doors, just, keep it away from my kids. You know?”

The other two women nodded, before Brunette grinned, breaking the tension. “At least he’s hot though.”

“So hot,” the other two moaned in unison.

Joey had had enough. He shoved his earbuds back in and stormed off.

He couldn’t even be happy for ten minutes without some homophobic asshole ruining it.