Joey’s phone died halfway through ‘The Show Must Go On’ by Queen, which he thought was somewhat ironic.

He knew he probably should have saved the battery and not used any apps until he worked out how he was going to charge it again. But his music was the only thing that could keep him calm, of that he was certain. It took him away from the miserable circumstances in which he’d found himself.

Six hours ago, he was on top of the world. Now he had no money, no home, no phone unless he got a charger, no way to contact Martha about the audition. Oh, yeah, and no fucking boyfriend.

He was stunned that Gabe had reacted so hostile towards him. Joey would have expected him to be at least be a little bit sheepish. He wished he knew what the full story was. Had Gabe been seeing Lewis this whole time? Or had they just reconnected because they missed each other too much?

He angrily wiped tears away from his face; he couldn’t afford to get any colder than he already was. His hands were trembling badly as he shoved his useless phone and earbuds into his jacket pocket.

If only he had a hat or scarf, anything to cover his head. The snow was falling thicker now and his shoes were getting soaked. Earlier, he’d sat in one of the cafés he’d passed just to try and warm up a little. They’d let him stay and sip a glass of water. But after midnight he was the only patron and they’d had to close up, leaving him back on the street.

He just had to make it through the night. Then he could try and hitchhike into the city in the morning. There was bound to be a phone shop there that would let him charge his phone for a bit, or if not maybe a bar or a hotel?

Once he had a bit of juice, he was calling Blake, pride be damned. Joey had made it this far, but he had nothing at all now; he was at rock bottom. Blake wouldn’t judge him. He’d wire him some money, maybe even get him a bus ticket to Cincinnati so he could stay with him and Elion for a while.

The thought of a friendly face brought a fresh sob from Joey’s chest. He stumbled as he tried to wipe the tears away again. He’d been walking the streets for hours and his feet were aching. Maybe it would be a blessing if they went numb from the cold?

He desperately wanted to sleep, but he was too afraid to. Someone could hurt him if he just laid down on a bench in the park. Greenwich was probably a safer place to rough it than New York City, but he was reluctant to take his chances all the same. This town had been nothing but a vindictive bitch to him his whole life. He didn’t trust it to leave him be, not even for a few hours.

He tried to guess the time. He’d sold his watch back in L.A., so generally relied on his phone for a clock. He’d not looked at it since he’d left the café at just past one, merely leaving his music to shuffle itself. He’d been walking a couple of hours at least before the phone had finally given out. So that put him at three, maybe four o’clock? The sun wouldn’t rise until after seven.

“Fuck,” he said out loud, his voice croaky.

Three more hours, without any music to coax him through it. Maybe he should head to the highway now? He really, really didn’t want to risk getting in a truck with a stranger. It seemed like one of the most stupid and dangerous things he could do. But he couldn’t stand the idea of asking anyone around here for help again.

Which way should he head? He seemed to have lost his bearings, but that was unlikely as he knew these streets inside and out. It must have been the snow throwing him off. But he couldn’t decide which way was towards town, and which would lead to the interstate. He closed his eyes and tried to stop his whole body trembling so violently.

His hands were so cold they were painful in his pockets. He took them and cupped them in front of his mouth to breathe on before shoving them under his arms. Now he was no longer listening to constant music he realized how much his teeth were chattering in his head.

Keep walking, just keep going, he said to himself. The more he moved, the warmer he’d be. His head hurt, but that was no surprise given how much he’d cried.

He should have known this would happen eventually with his dad. The bastard had been itching to kick him out since the moment he’d come back. Joey suspected he’d only lasted this long because his old man had enjoyed tormenting him. But the scene on the porch had evidently shamed him one step too far.

It wasn’t like all the neighbors weren’t already fully aware Martin Sullivan had a little faggot for a son. Joey had to say he’d never really had that much hassle from them, aside from the odd stare. But he’d been a popstar, so part of him hoped their curiosity was from that too. Not just the fact he liked to fuck other men.

To listen to his father’s drunken rants though, a person would be forgiven for thinking all they did was laugh themselves silly over what a failure his dad was for having a queer kid. “At least we got one normal boy,” he’d said to his mom more times than Joey could care to remember.

Even after everything he’d been through, Joey refused to accept that he wasn’t normal. There was nothing wrong with him. Everybody had different tastes as to whom they were attracted to. As far as he saw it, liking men was no different to liking blondes, or women with big boobs.

He wouldn’t let his dad influence him. He’d had people on social media telling him to kill himself almost every day for five years. That kind of thing was easier to ignore online, it was true, but his dad wasn’t being as shocking as he thought he was. Joey could deal with it.

He just wished he didn’t have to. He wished he didn’t come from a family where hate was the norm. Where he was now fearful of what he’d left his own mother to face. Hopefully, his dad wouldn’t take out his frustrations on her, or god forbid, the baby. If there was any luck in the world, his dad would feel victorious now he’d finally got rid of Joey for good, and leave it at that.

Joey wasn’t an idiot, he knew most people had crappy folks. Blake’s were no picnic, and TJ and Reyse were both estranged from at least one of their parents. Raiden’s were actually okay, but out of five guys, it was only fair that one of them didn’t get screwed by their families.

Joey rubbed his arms as his body was wracked with uncontrollable shivers. He needed to warm up, just a little. His eyes were drooping every other step now and he was fighting to stay awake despite being upright. He didn’t know what to do though?

Nowhere was open. This wasn’t like New York City where you could always find something. Greenwich was eerily quiet. The only sounds he could hear were his damp shoes squeaking in the snow and the wind rustling the branches whenever he found himself near any trees. There were no cars, no wildlife, and certainly no people.

It was no real surprise to him that in the bleakest moment of his life, Joey was alone and in the dark.

He was too tired to cry anymore. He’d been trying to walk to the highway, but he must have got turned around, because the same park where he’d seen Gabe and Lewis was looming up ahead.

Fuck it. The bench the two of them had occupied was under a tree. That meant that it would be relatively sheltered from the snow. It wouldn’t hurt him to sit for a while; Joey had been walking for hours. Plus, he got a perverse sort of kick out of sitting where he’d learned the truth about Gabe.

He sank down on the cold, wet wood with a modicum of relief. At least his feet would get a rest, even if he wasn’t much warmer. He touched the seat below him.

“Remember. This is what it feels like to trust other people,” he whispered sadly to himself. Because he’d so wanted to have faith in Gabe, to give him his heart. But he’d let him down, just like everybody else.

Joey hugged himself and watched the snow fall around the branches of the big tree over his head.

“You are my sunshine,” he sang softly, struggling to keep his eyelids open. “My only sunshine. You make me happy, when skies are gray. You’ll never know dear, how much I love you…”

He trailed off into an enormous yawn. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to rest his head for just a minute? Then he’d get walking again, make his way towards the interstate and thumb a ride.

The bench wasn’t comfortable as he lay down, but it was slightly drier than the muddy ground at least. He pillowed his hands under his cheek and blissfully allowed his eyes to close.

“You’ll never know dear, how much I love you,” he whispered to the darkness. “So please don’t take…my sunshine…away…”