Violet

I was beginning to hate that statement. The last time he’d said that to me it had ended our sexy fun times. Not to mention, I was pretty much floating on cloud nine after getting to spend time with my brother. I didn’t want anything to spoil my mood.

“Don’t tell me if it’s bad news,” I told him. His body stiffened before he caught himself and uncoiled his muscles.

“It’s nothing bad. Well, I hope it isn’t. We need to talk about something you said the other day. It should’ve been addressed sooner, but I wasn’t sure what to say exactly.”

“Okay,” I drew out the word now, uncertain I wanted him to continue.

I’d enjoyed getting to know him, even if it was only on a friend level. I was now worried I’d said something to offend him.

“You said you knew the score. I think I was clear that what we’d shared wasn’t meaningless to me, but we were interrupted before we could finish our conversation.”

Damn, he was going there. I scrambled, trying to come up with something to say that wouldn’t make me sound like a fool, but was coming up short.

“Violet?”

“Yes?”

“Look at me please.” He waited until I lifted my gaze from my fingernails and I met his eyes. Damn, he had sexy eyes. “You said you understood it was meaningless.” He said the last word like it left a bad taste in his mouth and he continued. “Is that how you feel? It didn’t mean anything to you?”

Suddenly I found my manicure more interesting than looking at the disappointment Jaxon hadn’t tried to mask. I picked at my cuticles and weighed my options. I had been doing that a lot lately, picking the lesser of two evils because there was no right answer. I could lie and tell him it meant nothing and keep my heart and sanity intact, or I could tell the truth. The truth, however, would open myself up for heartache and rejection. He was waiting, and the longer the silence stretched between us, the more uncomfortable it became.

“I see,” he said.

Without looking up I corrected him. “You don’t see.” I took a breath and jumped. “I said those things because I thought that’s what I was supposed to say, and I didn’t want to hear you say them to me. So, I said it first.”

“Why did you think that’s what you were supposed to say?” he asked.

“Because I’d never had a one-night stand before or whatever that was. I didn’t know what it was, I still don’t. When you said we needed to talk, I panicked and told you I knew what the score was.”

“So… it wasn’t meaningless to you?” he asked slowly.

He was going to make me say it. “No, it meant something.”

“Thank fuck.”

He crossed the distance that separated us and pulled my clasped hands apart and yanked me up to stand in front of him.

“It meant something to me, too.”

He lowered his lips to meet mine and he was exceedingly gentle. By the time he broke the kiss, my legs were wobbly.

“Wow,” I breathed.

“I leave tomorrow,” he told me.

“I know.”

“This is my life. Sometimes I have weeks to prepare; sometimes I only have hours.”

“Okay.”

“I can’t make you any promises. My life is too unpredictable. But just because I can’t doesn’t mean the time we have together is meaningless.”

I was a little confused. I think I might’ve been in a kiss-induced fog.

“I don’t understand,” I confessed.

“Come on. Some things are better explained by showing rather than telling.”

He tugged my hand and led us into the bedroom. Once inside, he went about showing me exactly what he’d wanted to explain. The first time he made love to me it was slow and gentle, and he showed how much our time together meant to him. He whispered tender words of encouragement, building a slow deep burn, and without warning we fell over the edge together. My heart fully engaged, and I knew I was in trouble.

“Do you understand now?” he whispered and tucked me close.

“I think so,” I answered.

“You think?” he chuckled. “Oh baby, that’s not gonna work. I don’t want you to think. I want you to know. I want you to feel it deep. I want there to be no doubt tomorrow morning when I leave, you mean the world to me.”

He stopped talking and rolled me to my back. He bypassed my lips in favor of my neck, placing open mouth kisses on the tender flesh. He moved lower to my collar bone, licking and sucking, then further down until he reached my breasts.

“I fucking love your tits. Big and soft and perfect. One of these days I’m going to oil them up and slide my dick between them.” My body shook in excitement and my nipples tingled. I never would’ve thought that would be something I’d like. “Yeah. I see you like that thought. Your pretty nipples can’t hide the truth.”

He swiped his tongue over the hard nub and my back arched.

“Oh God.”

“Tell me, Vi, do you like my mouth on you?”

“Yea,” I moaned my answer.

“Do you like it here?” he asked and licked my other nipple. “Or here?” He moved lower, licking under my breast down to my belly button and lower still until he stopped at my hip. “Or do you want me to lick here?” He nudged my thighs apart and his tongue moved along the crease of pussy.

“Holy hell,” I whined.

“Mmm. Spread your legs wide so I can taste you.”

I did as he ordered. His thumbs pulled my lower lips apart and his head lowered. I jolted at the contact and his grip tightened.

“I love how sensitive you are.”

I wasn’t. It was him. His touch. His mouth. Only him.

He alternated between licking and sucking; he was driving me mad. I was about to tell him I couldn’t take it any more when two thick fingers pushed inside as he sucked on my clit. Without stopping the suction, his finger plunged in and out at a pace I couldn’t fight. My body had a mind of its own; it belonged to Jaxon. He played me so well there was no way to slow the impeding orgasm. I screamed and tightened my thighs around his head, trying to get away from sensation. He slowed his fingers and lifted his head.

“So damn sexy. Turn over baby. I want you on all fours. Ass up.” Something had changed in Jaxon. He’d made soft gentle love to me, he’d also taken me roughly, but this… this was something entirely else. His voice was deeper, his presence dominating, his face open. He looked like a wild beast ready to take his prey. And lucky for me, I was the prey.

I scrambled to turn over and got to my hands and knees. I heard the foil packet open and my insides fluttered with anticipation.

One hand went to my hip to steady me and I felt the tip of his dick at my entrance. He rubbed back and forth, coating himself with my juices before he pushed in on a groan.

“Swear to God you feel like heaven,” he said.

He stayed planted deep and gathered my hair in his fist, pulling my head to the side so his face was next to mine.

“I’m gonna fuck the doubt out of your mind, baby. By the time I’m done, all you’ll feel is me. Is us.”

He held on to my hair and pulled out, slamming back in as he spoke again. “Are you ready, Violet?”

“Yes.”

“Good. Tilt your sweet ass up and hold on.”

The second go round he showed me a whole new side of himself, one that included hair pulling, spanking, and so many orgasms I’d lost count. I could safely say I enjoyed both of Jaxon’s explanations, but if I had to pick one – it was the down and dirty, hair pulling sex any day of the week.

It was safe to say by the time Jaxon was done, I understood.

He was forever tattooed on my soul.

Irrevocable and binding.

The next morning I woke up and Jaxon was gone.

***

“Umm,” I stammered and backed up; in the process I smacked my head on the doorjamb.

“Fuck! Are you okay?” A man I’d never seen asked.

“Umm.” I seemed to have lost my voice.

“I’m Linc,” he offered. “Did you read the note Jaxon left for you?”

“Note?” I asked.

Now that I wasn’t scared out of my head, I realized I had seen a picture of Lincoln Parker before. Though he now wore his black hair longer than he did while he was a SEAL and he was a little older, but no less in shape, and the pictures of him did nothing to show off his piercing green eyes. Jasmin Parker was one lucky woman. The more I studied Linc, the more I saw the family resemblance between him and his brother. Zane’s hair was darker, and he was taller, but their eyes were almost identical.

“Jasmin will be here in a bit. Jax said he was going to leave you a note so that wouldn’t happen.” He pointed between me and the door frame.

“Oh. I didn’t see it. I’m Violet,” I told him, and his lip twitched. Jeez.

“Think I got that. I brought donuts. Jax said you liked CoCo’s donuts.”

“Ohmygod. I love them. Thank you.”

Without embarrassment I went to the box and grabbed a fresh gooey glazed donut and tore a huge bite from the pastry.

“These are so good. Thank you,” I said around my food, covering my mouth with my hand.

“Yeah, they’re pretty good,” he chuckled.

“So, is Jasmin feeling any better?”

“No. She woke up this morning still not feeling well. I sent her to the doctor. I don’t think it was the Thai food. I think she’s coming down with the flu.”

“I’m sorry you had to come babysit me instead of going with her.”

“I wanted to come and talk with you anyway. I haven’t had a chance to thank you, yet.”

“Thank me?”

“For Africa. Jasmin told me what happened.”

“No need.”

I didn’t want to think about Africa. Africa made me think about why I was there in the first place, and all that had led to it.

“Bullshit. You took a bullet for her. That doesn’t go unnoticed.”

“It was just a graze. Really, nothing to thank me for.”

“Christ, you sound like Jax.”

My heartrate spiked thinking of him. “You said he left me a note?” I asked around another bite.

“That’s what he said. It should be in the room.”

I excused myself to go in search of the note and Linc went back to looking at the laptop in front of him. Sure enough, on the makeshift night stand by the bed there was a sheet of paper. I picked it up and studied Jaxon’s neat block letters. His penmanship matched his personality, bold, sure, and concise.

Vi,

As I write this I am watching you sleep. I debated waking you to say goodbye, but you look so peaceful I couldn’t bring myself to disturb you. Before I left I wanted to make sure you knew the score. I didn’t want there to be any wondering on your part or misunderstandings.

I paused for a moment, not sure if I wanted to continue reading his note. Was this where he let me down easy? Told me it’d been great but no thanks. After a mental pep talk I brought the paper back into focus and continued.

Last night was amazing. At least for me it was. I hope it was for you as well. We have a lot to work through when I get back; the point is, I want to work through them. I’m not sure where this can go but I’d like to find out. There is no denying there is something between us. I’d like to find out what that something is. I don’t know how long I’ll be gone, and I will check in when I can. Please understand I may not be able to contact you directly but I will make sure someone keeps you in the loop.

Take care of yourself while I’m gone.

-J

P.S. Don’t freak out when you go in the other room, Linc is out there.

Holy crap! Holy crap! Holy crap!

He wasn’t giving me the brush off, he wanted to see where a relationship between us could go. At least that’s what I thought his note meant. I reread the letter again and again to see if I was missing something, but each time I read it hope grew. Could we date? It would be hard. I lived in Virginia and he lived in Maryland. It wasn’t like it was that far, an hour drive with no traffic. People did that all the time. Hope grew some more. We could totally date.

With a spring in my step and what felt like a new lease on life, I carefully folded his letter. Not wanting to be too girly, but never wanting to discard the first letter Jaxon wrote me, I placed the folded paper in my backpack. It wasn’t like he’d professed his undying love for me, but the letter was special nonetheless. The alarm beeped in the other room, reminding me I was still locked in the basement and my current predicament was far from over. However, the thought of having to stay down here for weeks no longer bothered me, as long as Jaxon was here with me.

We could lock ourselves away from the world and live in a bubble where no one was out to blackmail or kidnap me. Maybe the universe couldn’t take away my hopes and fantasies down here.

The knock on the door startled me. I turned around as Jasmin was poking her head in.

“Hey, I brought you fresh coffee,” she said.

She still didn’t look well. Her face was pale, and I hated to think it, but her normal bitchiness seemed to have faded away.

“Thanks, you didn’t have to do that.”

She grunted and the hard mask she wore slipped back into place. There was the Jasmin I knew. “It’s nothing. Come drink it before it gets cold.”

With a nod I followed her to the other room and noticed Linc was gone.

“He had shit to do,” she told me when she noticed me looking around. “Here, I brought you some movies in case you get bored and a kindle so you can read or whatever.”

I fought back the urge to smile. Jasmin may’ve been hard as nails in the field, but I had her number. She wasn’t as mean and bitchy as she wanted everyone to believe. Under all her gruff badassery, she was thoughtful and kind. Man, I never saw that coming.

“’Preciate it.” I didn’t think she wanted me to say more than that. I got the impression she didn’t have very many female friends and wouldn’t appreciate me telling her how much her kindness meant to me. She would probably gag and tell me to fuck off.

I looked through the stack of DVDs she brought and laughed to myself when each one of them were action shoot ‘em up movies. Of course, that’s what Jasmin would watch. No Princess Bride for her. She pulled a CoCo’s donut out of the box and ate it while reading over the papers in front of her. No sooner was the last bite in her mouth before she jumped out of her seat and ran to the bathroom and slammed the door.

I inwardly cringed, hoping she didn’t pass me the bug she’d caught. The last thing I wanted was to be throwing up and sick down here. I picked up the kindle she’d brought and perused the titles on the carousel, surprised at the selection. There were mysteries, thriller suspense, romance, and I nearly fell over when I got to a book with a sexy shirtless man on the cover. The subtitle of the book read, An Erotic Thriller. Seems I’d found a new book to read.

Jasmin came out of the bathroom and sat back down across from me and I got up to get her a water. I popped the top and set it in front of her. She muttered a thanks and downed half the bottle before I returned to my seat.

“Did the doctor give you anything?” I asked.

“Sure did.”

Okay. Guess she doesn’t want to discuss the appointment. Over the next few hours I sat at the table and read. Jasmin had gotten up one more time to throw up and about fifty times to pee. Now, I’m no expert on hydration, but I’d only seen her drink two bottles of water. The same amount as me, and I wasn’t peeing every five minutes. I’d also had the flu before and I never had to pee that many times as a result. She also hadn’t checked her temperature, taken a fever reducer, and since the last trip to the bathroom to vomit she looked great. And she’d eaten a sandwich and kept it down.

None of that screamed flu to me. What it did scream was pregnant.

Before I thought better of it I blurted it out.

“Are you pregnant?”

Her head shot up from the report she was reading, and her eyes narrowed. “What are you talking about?”

Interesting. Defensive posture, no eye contact, answering a question with a question. Yep, she was pregnant.

One thing I’ve learned about Jasmin is she doesn’t respond well to what normal people would consider social niceties. She was blunt and to the point and only respected those who were the same.

“Pregnant. You know, growing a human.”

“Shit and damn,” she muttered.

“Alright. Good to know I can’t catch what you have. I was a little worried I’d be puking right alongside you soon.”

She shot me a look that told me she hadn’t found me amusing and I smiled. For the first time since I met her, I felt like we were making progress toward a friendship.

“So…” I drew out the word. “How far along are you?”

“Nine weeks,” she answered, shocking the shit out of me when she did.

“The fall in Africa. Is the baby okay? Did I hurt it?” Fear I’d accidently harmed Jasmin’s baby coursed through my body. I’d never forgive myself if I hurt her.

“Babies,” she said.

“What?”

“Babies. Two of them.”

“Oh shit.”

“Oh shit is right. Linc’s gonna love this. He’ll never stop talking about his super sperm.”

“But they’re okay?” I asked again.

“Yes. I told my doctor what happened. That’s why she did an ultrasound and she saw two heartbeats.”

She’d yet to smile or show any signs of happiness and I was worried that maybe this was not a welcomed surprise. I didn’t know Linc, but I didn’t think he’d mind his wife having his children. But what did I know?

“So, what’s wrong?”

She took a minute and leveled me with a stare that I was sure was meant to scare the hell out of me because that’s exactly what it was doing. Thoughtful Jasmin was gone, and the bitch I’d seen in Africa was back in full swing.

“I can’t believe I’m gonna say this to you. And serious as shit you better keep your mouth closed or after I pop these babies out I’ll hunt your ass down.” Yep. There she was, bitch Jasmin was back. “I’m scared as shit. And I gotta tell you, I don’t get scared. So, it pisses me right the fuck off that the thought of two little babies scares me. I’ve been in combat for Christ sakes. I’ve been shot, stabbed, tortured and two tiny little people make me want to crawl in a corner and have a come apart.”

I didn’t say anything. For someone like Jasmin to admit how scared she was, was huge. And I couldn’t believe she’d confided in me.

“What if I fuck this up? I didn’t have a mother growing up. You might not have noticed but I’m not the most feminine woman out there. What if I suck at being a mom and Linc hates me because of it?”

“You won’t fuck it up,” I told her.

“How the fuck do you know that?”

“Because you’re Jasmin Parker, badass extraordinaire. As you said, you’ve been shot, stabbed, and tortured, yet you lived through it. You’re strong. Besides, do you really think Linc or any of the guys would let you fail? They’ll all be right beside you. Millions of women have babies, millions of women that are not half as strong as you. You’re gonna be a great mom.”

“You think?” Her tone had softened, and the tough-guy mask fell away.

“I don’t think it. I know it. Everything is going to be perfect.”

“Thanks. I guess I’m just in shock.”

“I would be too. Twins. Holy shit. And please don’t take this the wrong way but I hope you’re having girls. Two more boys running around looking like your husband. Holy shit woman, good thing you’re a badass because you’d have to beat the girls away.”

“You’re not wrong,” she laughed.

We fell silent, both of us going back to what we were doing before the pregnancy talk. This time it was a comfortable silence and I smiled to myself. Maybe she didn’t hate me as much as I thought she did.

A few more hours passed, and I was going to ask her who was coming for the overnight babysitting shift when the basement rocked. It felt like there was an earthquake. Jasmin shot up from the table and checked the monitors, the perimeter alarm hadn’t sounded, and I couldn’t see any cars coming up the drive. She switched camera views and I had to blink a few times to understand what I was seeing.

The Barn was gone. As in, gone, no longer there! The structure had been blown to pieces. Jasmin switched views again and the new angle showed wood in all directions scattered about on fire. Three helicopters were landing, and when the first one touched down men dressed in black jumped out.

“Fuck. Get in the closet,” Jasmin said.

I had one second to make my decision. In a matter of minutes, the basement was going to be over run. There was no time for back up to arrive, even if they’d seen what happened back at the office there would be no time for the team to get there.

“Okay. But I forgot how the door lock works.”

“Christ. Come on.”

I followed Jasmin into the bedroom. When she pushed the door to the closet open I’d made my decision. I pushed Jasmin in, slammed the door shut, and on the exterior keyless electronic keypad I pushed in 9-1-1. Jaxon explained the door would lock from the outside and could not be reopened until someone with the code unlocked it. I prayed to God I hadn’t just locked Jasmin into a tomb.

“Take care of those babies,” I whispered even though I knew she couldn’t hear me.

It was a good thing she couldn’t unlock the door from the inside because I knew pregnant or not she’d beat my ass. I ran for the door and slipped out, making sure it was shut behind me. I jogged up the stairs the best I could through the thick smoke, the sun rays casting an eerie orange light for me to follow. When I reached the top of the stairs and the smoke had semi cleared, I was surrounded by men in black.

I threw my hands in the air and made my way to the nearest person. I sent a silent prayer of protection for Jasmin and her babies and willing was led to an awaiting helicopter. The vibrations of the copter lifting off matched the thundering in my chest. The higher the aircraft got, the closer to death I came. There was no way I was going to allow Ortega to sell me. The side door was still open, and we were almost high enough that the fall would kill me instantly.

Almost there.

I closed my eyes and prepared to jump.

Please forgive me Jaxon. I’m sorry.