CHAPTER 24
GRAHAM
“ARE YOU FEELING OKAY?” I’d gotten stuck talking shop with Bret Allandale for three-quarters of an hour. Finding Soraya in the yard looking out at the sunset over the water, I wrapped my hands around her waist and stood behind her.
“I’m good.”
Without thinking, my fingers stroked her flat stomach. There were people milling around the yard, so I lowered my voices. “The thought that my child could possibly be growing inside of you, inside this beautiful body, is absolutely incredible.”
“Graham…”
“I know. You don’t think you’re ready. But I think you will be an amazing mother. How pissed would you be if I admitted a part of me hopes you are pregnant? That way you’ll have no choice but to put up with me.” I pulled her hair to the side and kissed her neck.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Anything.”
“If I were pregnant, you’d want to raise the child together?”
“Of course, why would you even ask that?”
“I don’t know. I’m just tired and emotional, I guess. It’s been a long day.”
“Well, then, let’s get you out of here soon. You should probably be off of your feet anyway.”
After the sun fully set, I decided it was time to make our exit. I’d caught Chloe yawning twice, and it didn’t look like she was going to make it much longer either. She was sitting at a kiddie-sized table with another little girl molding something out of hot pink Play-Doh. I pulled a tiny chair out for Soraya with a wink, and we both sat.
“What are you building?”
“A snowman.”
“A pink snowman?”
She stopped kneading the clay and looked at me like I had just said something ridiculous. “It’s a girl snowman.”
“Did you enjoy your party, Chloe?” Soraya asked.
“I did. But it’s not over. My birthday lasts for the entire weekend.”
Soraya chuckled. “It does, does it?”
Chloe nodded fast. “Tomorrow morning, when we wake up, we’re going to have chocolate chip pancakes and strawberry milk.”
“I’m sorry we’re going to miss that. That sounds delicious,” I said.
“Why would you miss it? Do you sleep late?”
“Actually, I don’t. But we’re not staying here tonight, sweetheart.”
“You don’t want to have breakfast with me?”
“Of course, I do.”
“Who’s going to put together the rest of my toys in the morning? Mommy said you would put together my car and my dream house.”
“She did, did she?”
“Pleeeeeeease.”
I looked at Soraya, unsure of how to say no to my daughter. I had limited encounters with children, and the thought of disappointing her when I’d only just met her was not something I was ready to do. Soraya covered my hand with hers and squeezed.
“How about this, Chloe? Graham and I can come back early tomorrow and have breakfast. Then he can put together your presents.”
“Really?”
Soraya gave me a reassuring nod before I turned back to Chloe with a smile. “Really, sweetheart.”
We did a quick round of goodbyes, and then Genevieve walked us to the door. “Chloe is very excited you’re coming back in the morning. It’s too bad you won’t be staying overnight. There’s plenty of room.” She seemed to turn her attention to Soraya. “I know she would love waking up to having her father under the same roof, even though she might not know who you are to her yet.”
“What time is breakfast?”
“Avery is driving out from the city in the morning to join us. She’ll be here by nine. So why don’t we say nine-thirty?”
“That’s fine. We’ll see you in the morning.”
“I’m looking forward to it, Graham.” Genevieve put her hand on my arm and lowered her voice. “Chloe is lucky to have you. I know I made some big mistakes, but I hope for her sake we can move past them. I’d really like for Chloe to know her father…have a real family.”
***
SORAYA WAS UNUSUALLY QUIET during the short ride to Harbor House Bed and Breakfast even after checking in. Once we climbed into bed, I pulled her close and tried to coax her into talking about what was going on inside that beautiful head of hers. “Talk to me. You’re not yourself tonight.” Her head rested on my chest right over my heart, and I stroked her silky hair in the dark.
The list of shit that could be bothering her was endless these days. We were spending the weekend visiting a home that I used to own and a daughter who I just met…while my possibly pregnant girlfriend was slighted at every opportunity by my ex. Why was I even fucking asking what was wrong? It would be simpler to ask what was right. Although that answer was easy for me. She was right. Even with all the chaos swarming around, I didn’t remember a time in my life when anything felt so right to me. We were right.
“I’m just tired.”
“So it has nothing to do with spending time with my fucking bitch of an ex or having newly discovered I have a four-year-old daughter or the possibility you could be pregnant. Am I missing anything?”
She chuckled quietly and then sighed. “You’re missing breakfast with Avery. That ought to be a blast.”
“Ah. Yes. Nothing like a double bitch fest for breakfast.”
Soraya went quiet again after that. I hated to go to sleep without the air clear, but it had been a long day, and she needed her rest. After about ten minutes, her breathing became slow and steady, and I knew she had fallen asleep. Staring into the dark while I held her tight in my arms, I realized we didn’t really need to rehash the day. Sometimes the words that are left unspoken are the ones that most needed to be said.
“I love you, Soraya,” I whispered to my sleeping beauty. “I fucking love you.”
***
“WHAT TIME IS IT?” SHE STRETCHED her arms over her head, and the sheet that was covering her body slipped down revealing her nipples protruding through her white ribbed tank top. I had been quietly sitting at the desk on the other side of the room working since five but stalked to the bed unable to resist putting my lips on some of that exposed skin.
I lowered the sheet more and pushed up her tank top, dropping a line of kisses on her stomach. “It’s almost eight-thirty. You were really out.” Venturing higher, I licked the underswell of one of her breasts.
“Mmmm…” The sound she made shot straight to my dick. “What time is breakfast again?”
“I’m about to have my morning meal right now.” Lifting her tank fully over her breasts, I sucked in a nipple. Hard. Her fingers threaded through my hair.
“Graham…”
“Hmmm…” I moved to the other nipple and swirled my tongue, looking up at her. “What can I do for you, gorgeous? Would you prefer I eat you, or we play hide and seek with my cock?”
Her eyes fluttered closed as I bit down on her nipple. When a throaty moan fell from her lips, I thought I might have a teenage boy moment. Get ahold of yourself, Graham.
Crawling further up her body, I spoke with my lips against her mouth. “What’s it going to be? Part of me needs to be inside of you now, Soraya. Decide if it’s my tongue or my dick.” I kissed my way from her mouth to her ear and back again before concluding if she wasn’t going to respond, I would just start below the waist and work my way up until I was done. Making my decision, I pulled my head back to tell her and what I found was a kick in the gut. Tears were rolling down her face.
“Soraya? What the…”
“I got my period.”
“Oh, sweetheart…” Closing my eyes, I leaned my forehead against hers.
“It’s okay. I…I…really didn’t want to be pregnant anyway.” She wiped her cheeks. “I just got caught up in the moment of it all. Seeing you with your daughter, realizing what a good father you are going to be, I guess I just wanted to be part of that.”
“There’s nothing I would like more. It may not be today or tomorrow. But we’re going to have that someday.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“When it comes to you, I have no doubts.”
“God, Graham. Why does it hurt so much? I feel like I’ve lost something even though I never had it to lose.” She cried for a long time while I held her. Once the floodgates opened, everything came pouring out. The ache in my chest seeing her distraught was almost more than I could bear. I had to choke back my own tears more than once. When she finally calmed, I wanted so much to tell her I loved her, but I was afraid she would think I only said it because she was upset.
“Why don’t you stay here, and I’ll swing by to have breakfast with Chloe and then come back. The last thing you need is Genevieve right now.”
“But I want to say goodbye to Chloe.”
“Well, then how about this? It’s only a few miles to the house. I’ll take a cab over this morning and have breakfast, so you can spend a few hours in bed. Then when you’re feeling up to it, you can come by and get me, and say goodbye to Chloe.”
She nodded. “I’d like that. I don’t think I can handle Avery and Genevieve for too long.”
“Then that’s what we’ll do.” I tilted her chin to force her eyes back to mine. “We’re going to get through all of this. I promise. Okay?”
I had no idea at the time, but some promises just couldn’t be kept.