Chapter Twenty-Nine

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I woke up when the tone sounded the next morning and felt like complete shit. I stayed where I was for a few minutes, just collecting my thoughts, and finally forced myself out of bed when I heard the girls in the next room.

“Push your drama out of your mind, Shaylee,” I whispered to myself. I needed to take my own advice because the campers were leaving throughout the day and I had no idea if I’d ever see them again.

Hannah and I got dressed quickly but I didn’t miss the inquisitive looks she kept sending my way. Before we went out to the main cabin area, she stopped me.

“What’s wrong?”

“Later, okay?” I forced a smile to my face and was grateful when she nodded. Together, we headed out into the main cabin area and were met with a bunch of sullen faces.

“Hey, none of that,” Hannah said with her hands on her hips. “It’s been an amazing summer and your families are going to be so happy to see you.”

I nodded my head in agreement. “Plus, we’ve all exchanged contact information so we’ll keep in touch.”

“I wish summer was longer,” Cate muttered with a slight sniffle and Nicole leaned over to wrap her arms around her.

“Me, too.”

“Oh, come on, Debbie Downers.” I grinned at them all and gestured to the door. “Let’s go eat.”

We all walked to the dining hall while Hannah and I went over the bus schedule for the day. The first of our campers had to leave for the airport at nine so we only had two more hours together.

We’d just sat down with our food when I felt his eyes on me. I didn’t bother looking because I had no desire to see Drew, much less talk to him. I was just glad that he never came over because I didn’t want to create a scene in the dining hall.

I felt like I was in a fog while I ate. Everything Kira had ever told me about AJ played on repeat in my head. I still remembered the night after we’d come home from her last summer at camp. She and AJ… Drew… had gone out to the east side of the lake together their last night at camp. She could barely wait until we were home to tell me all about it.

 

“Did it hurt?” I asked, chewing on my fingernail as I listened to every word she said. The smile that bloomed across Kira’s lips was serene and caused one to hit mine, too.

“A little but it was perfect, Lee.” She sighed, closing her eyes as she replayed the memory in her mind. “He was so caring. So gentle. I wouldn’t change a thing.”

“I’m jealous.”

Something flashed behind my sister’s brown eyes. “You’ll find this someday. You’ll find your own version of AJ.”

We were in her room on her bed, both of us on our sides as we faced each other. Her brown hair was too short to tuck behind her ear but strands of it rested on her pale forehead. Her face was thin, too thin, from all of the weight she’d lost and the exhaustion she felt was completely obvious just by looking at her. Despite it all, she was beautiful and that beauty was only amplified with the moment of bliss she was in. Both of us were silent for a few minutes before I finally spoke again.

“Are you going to ask him to come visit, you know, before…?”

Kira shook her head and I hated that some of her happiness faded. “I people to remember me when I was stronger. It’s bad enough that you’re going to see me when I’m weak.”

“You will never be weak,” I told her as I reached over and grabbed her hand. “Even when your body gets weak, you’ll still be so strong in the way that matters.”

“’For infinity, Lee.”

Tears burned the back of my eyes. Our time was limited and life wasn’t fair. The fact that my beautiful sister wouldn’t make it to her sixteenth birthday proved that the universe was unbalanced. I had no idea how to live without her. Without my best friend.

“For infinity.”

 

“Shaylee?”

I blinked a few times to clear the memories from my brain and turned to Hannah. “I’m sorry. What?”

“Shay.” The concern was written all over her face but I just shook my head, causing her to sigh. “The girls are ready to head back.”

“Okay.” I stood from the table. Jenny immediately laced her fingers through mine and I dropped my free arm across Alexandra’s shoulders. We walked slowly, again as if we were heading to our execution, and I fought back tears. Between the crap with Drew and losing the girls I’d come to love so much, I was torn apart.

When we made it back to the cabin, Hannah and I stayed in the main area to help the girls finish packing their stuff. They’d done a really good job the night before so there wasn’t a lot to do. I spent about ten minutes re-folding different things for different girls and sighed when there wasn’t anything else for me to do.

Our cabin looked so pathetically empty despite the twelve bodies that were inside of it. The walls were bare, the shelves empty, and the mood was dismal. When I had first decided to join Camp Holcomb for the summer, I never even imagined that letting them go would be so terrible.

“I couldn’t have imagined a better group of girls,” I said, breaking the sad silence in the room. “I’m going to miss you all.”

Maria almost tackled me in a hug and all twelve of us were embraced in a gigantic group hug just seconds later. Sniffles sounded and I felt tears sting the backs of my eyes. We stayed like that for a few minutes and then parted to sit back on the beds. Everyone stayed like that, making light conversation until it was time to head out to the amphitheater.

The girls left in small increments, starting with Maria and ending with Lizzy. When Jenny’s parents arrived to pick her up, they raved about how happy and healthy she looked. Both of them thanked Hannah and me profusely for keeping her safe all summer long. When it was Jenny’s turn to embrace me, she gave me the tightest hug yet. I probably wasn’t supposed to have favorites but if I did, Jenny would have been it.

“Promise you’ll text me all of the time?” she asked, her bottom lip quivering when we pulled apart. I smiled and nodded once.

“Promise.”

Once they were all completely gone, Hannah and I sat on the top row of the bleachers facing the stage in silence. We watched as counselors and campers said goodbye to one another and I couldn’t keep my eyes off of Drew no matter how hard I tried. He was giving Luka a hug and when he pulled away from the young kid, his eyes met mine. Sadness, a deep sadness that I knew had nothing to do with his campers, painted all of his features. As quickly as I could, I averted my gaze to look at something else. Hannah caught the interaction and finally spoke.

“Okay. You’re worrying me. Jordan told me that you were really upset last night when you were looking for Drew and that Drew is acting just like you today. All mopey and sad.”

“He has no right to be mopey or sad,” I replied with a bitter edge in my tone. “Drew Moore has been lying to me since the beginning and his lies caught up with him.”

Hannah’s fingers entwined with mine. “Talk to me, Shaylee. What happened?”

I swallowed down a new wave of tears and let out a sigh. “You remember how I told you I used to come here with my sister?” When she nodded, I continued. “Well, Kira aged out once she hit tenth grade but six months after her last summer, she passed away.”

“What?” Hannah let out a slight gasp and shook her head once. “I’m so sorry, Shay.”

My head dropped to her shoulder and I sighed. “They found a low grade brain tumor when she was thirteen and removed it. She never made it to remission completely because two years later, she had two more and they were both grade-four gliomas and neither was operable. Radiation and chemotherapy didn’t help so we knew it was coming in the end but…”

“But that doesn’t stop the pain.” Hannah let go of my hand so she could wrap me up in a hug, which I returned reverently. We sat like that for a few moments before I pulled away. Staring back out at the last of the kids, I told her about Kira’s years at camp and her friendship and eventual relationship with AJ.

“Wow. That’s some Nicholas Sparks type stuff,” Han said with a smile and I nodded.

“That’s what I thought when she told me everything. They were like a romance novel. Kira Butler and AJ Moore’s story would have been a great movie adaptation one day.”

Hannah’s whole body went stiff. “AJ Moore. Please say that’s Drew’s brother.”

“I wish. Andrew Moore, otherwise known as Drew, and affectionately called ‘AJ’ in childhood.”

“And you had no idea?” When I shook my head, Hannah rubbed her neck in irritation. “But he knew you?”

“Oh, he knew. Keaton was nice enough to fill me in yesterday.” I swallowed back as much of the hurt as possible but the lump in my throat made it hard. Hannah muttered about hurting Drew and made me smile. It was nice to have someone behind you. “You and Briana would get along so well.”

“Good to know because I’m going to visit Phoenix sometime and the three of us are going to tear the city up.”

I grinned and nodded my head in agreement. We sat quietly again and didn’t speak even as the last camper disappeared for the buses. About twenty minutes had passed when Jordan called Hannah’s name at the bottom of the bleachers and I caught her shaking her head at him. I nudged her shoulder with mine, though.

“Go. It’s okay. I need to go see if I can talk to May or Howard before dinner anyway. Spend time with your boyfriend while you can.”

“Okay.” She squeezed me one more time before standing up. “Meet you in the dining hall?”

I nodded my head with a forced smile. “See you in a bit.”

After watching the two of them walk out of the amphitheater, I rose from my seat and began making my way down the bleachers. I’d barely stepped off of the final ledge when I heard Drew say my name behind me. I didn’t bother turning around, not even when he repeated it with desperation obvious in his tone.

Instead, I headed to where May was standing near the stage, examining a clipboard in her hands. As if she could feel me coming, she looked up and a smile flooded her face. It immediately dropped when she got a really good look at me, though.

“Shaylee,” she started but I shook my head quickly.

“How could you do that? Keep such a big secret from me?” I felt tears gather in my eyes. Again. “Why?”

“Oh, sweetheart.” May placed the clipboard onto the stage and took my hand in hers. Without saying anything, she led me out of the amphitheater and to the lake which was about one-hundred feet away. When she took a seat in the sand near the water’s edge, I followed suit and sat next to her.

“I was really surprised when you didn’t recognize him that first day,” she murmured, still holding onto my hand tightly but staring out at the water. “I didn’t really see you too often until right before we opened the camp and by then you were both irritated and taken with him. I decided to let it play out naturally, like you were strangers, and it played out so beautifully, baby girl. The love between you two is so pure and so passionate.”

I tried to pull my hand away but she wouldn’t let it go. “It was all lies, May. God, if I’d known he was Kira’s AJ, I never would have gone near him.”

“I know and that was what really cemented my decision not to tell you.”

“That’s not fair,” I huffed angrily. “You all tricked me. Set me up and let me fall without knowing all of the facts. How could you?”

May exhaled a long breath and took a minute to respond. “I suppose I thought that once you loved him, it would be enough.”

“I feel so betrayed.” I stood, wrenching my hand from her grip finally. “Betrayed by my family. Betrayed by the person I let myself fall in love with. You should have told me.”

Without waiting for her to reply, I walked away, brushing the sand off the backs of my thighs as I did. I made it back to the amphitheater that was mostly abandoned and picked up my phone from one of the employees who was still there.

I shoved it into my pocket and headed towards the dining hall. I was almost there when I heard someone calling my name behind me.

“Shaylee!”

I turned and smiled at Aubrey as she jogged towards me. “Hey.”

“A bunch of us are going to town to celebrate our last night after the campfire. Are you and Drew coming?”

“Um, I don’t know about Drew but I’m going to pass.” I forced my face to stay cheery. “I didn’t sleep too well last night.”

Aubrey’s blue eyes were scrutinizing as they examined my face. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m just sad. Letting go of them was harder than I thought it would be.” That wasn’t a lie and I could tell she bought it when she smiled sympathetically.

“If you change your mind, text me and I’ll let you know where we’re at.” She linked her arm through mine and we continued the rest of the walk to the dining hall in silence.

When I walked in, my eyes scoured the area for Hannah, knowing she’d be with Jordan. I was only hoping that she talked him into a table away from Drew. I wanted to sit with her but definitely not with him.

My hopes were answered when I saw her wave to me from the table we’d shared with our girls for the past eight weeks. Jordan was with her, along with Joanne, Tammi, and Cameron, but no Drew. Aubrey and I grabbed our own food and went to sit with the group.

I participated in the conversation as we ate, laughing with the people who’d become my friends so easily. Several invites to come to town with them were thrown my way but I managed to deflect them all. They bought my excuse but I could feel Hannah’s eyes on me the whole time.

After dinner was the end-of-summer campfire for the staff and I forced myself to have fun. Howard and May both spoke, thanking everyone for their hard work and inviting us all back the following year. They went over the travel procedure for the next day and a few other things that I tuned out while I ate my dessert.

As the campfire began to wind down, I hugged all of my friends tightly and told them to be safe for the evening. When I got to Hannah, I pulled her aside to let her know I probably wouldn’t be in the cabin when she came back the next day. The two of us hugged fiercely, promising to keep in touch, and the tears shining in her hazel eyes mimicked the ones I felt pooling in my own when we separated.

“Thank you for everything, Shay. I’m so glad to have you in my life.”

I smiled and hugged her one more time. “Me, too. We’ll see each other soon. Maybe I’ll be a cliché and come to Florida for spring break.”

“Oh, hell yes,” she replied with a laugh. “Text me when you’re home safe?”

I promised I would, hugged her one more time, and turned to head towards my cabin. I could feel Drew’s eyes on me but I didn’t bother to look for him. It would only hurt more.

I finally made it back to my cabin and pulled out my phone, looking at it for the first time. The notifications were blowing up from two weeks of me ignoring it. I had a few voicemails, mainly from my parents and automated messages from the school district regarding the upcoming year. I went through my email and responded to a few from my boss and my school advisor, but nothing else needed my attention. My texts were a bit fuller, blown up from friends who wanted to make sure I was still alive and to invite me to events before the semester started in a few weeks.

I didn’t bother to respond to any of them and instead called Briana. She answered on the second ring and her excited voice brought a smile to my face.

“You’re alive! I don’t remember the last time I went so long without talking to you. Nine weeks away is too much.”

I chuckled quietly and let my head fall back against the seat. “It feels like so much longer than that. How are you?”

“Better now that you’re finally coming home. Wait until I catch you up on everything you’ve missed.”

I listened to her go on and on about life in Arizona for more than thirty minutes, not bothering to interrupt her as she did. Everything seemed so insignificant but I knew it was important to her. Plus, it gave me time to pack what little of my stuff was still out. When she finally stopped to breathe, I felt dizzy from information.

“So, boring summer then?”

Her musical laughter filled my ear. “The slowest. Update me on everything. How’s Drew?”

“God, Bri.” I sighed and flopped down so I was on my back, staring up at those glow-in-the-dark stars on the ceiling. “Things went from perfect to fucked up so quickly. I don’t even want to talk about it right now. Do you mind doing me a favor?”

“Anything, Lee.”

“Can you change my flight tomorrow? It’s not supposed to leave until mid-afternoon but I want to take something sooner. First thing in the morning. I left my credit cards on my dresser. I don’t care which one you put the charges on.” Drew and I were scheduled on the same flight back to Atlanta before we were due to split off for our own connecting flights. There was no way I was getting on an airplane with him.

Bri was quiet for a moment. “Shaylee. What happened?”

“It’s over,” I whispered, my voice breaking as tears finally spilled over and down my cheeks. “I want to come home, Briana.”

“Okay. I’ve got you, babe. Just a minute.”

I stayed on the phone for ten more minutes while she managed to change my flight so I was leaving Maine at six in the morning rather than three in the afternoon. While she finalized the change for me, I put her on speakerphone and sent off a text to both May and Howard, asking if they could arrange transportation for me that early. They both replied back immediately that it would be handled. Briana then promised to pick me up at the airport the next day and told me she loved me with so much concern in her tone.

I stayed on the bed long after we hung up, my eyes affixed to those stars as the room went dark with the setting sun. I thought about how I’d done the exact same thing after the first time Drew and I were together, contemplating my decisions. Everything was so different then. I thought he was a cocky jerk who had slept with me without a second thought. I had no idea then that he would tell me he loved me six weeks later.

The side door to the cabin creaked when it opened, and as if I materialized his form just by thinking about him, Drew’s deep voice filled the small space.

“Shay.”