Chapter Five

Mia

 

  Was it possible to hate someone you loved so much? I wondered time and time again when Jake would come back to me and when, and if he did how I would react to it. Yet here he was and all I wanted to do was run away.

    “He just makes me feel emotion’s I’m not ready to feel again,” I confessed to my best friend Rosy. She knew about Lola being Jake’s and she also knew how much pain and heartache I had endured losing him.

    “We talked about this a million times, and you know this day would come.” Rosy lifted an eyebrow at me, sounding completely unsupportive.

    “Whose side are you on?” I questioned, before taking a drink of wine. I was on my third glass for the night, which was way more than I would ever normally drink.

    Rosy smiled, “Yours of course.” I couldn’t help the eye roll I gave her. Rosy liked Jake regardless of what he had done to me, and not because she wanted to be mean. She said she saw his reasoning, and understood, while I, on the other hand, didn’t and had spent the last four years being hateful. In all reality I didn’t hate him, I was just upset that he hurt me.

    “I just want him to stop. That’s it.” I was emotionally, and physically tired of his advances and I wasn’t sure how much longer I could fend him off. I was becoming weaker with every single word he spoke.

    “Do you though?” Rosy wiggled her eyebrows at me and I took that moment to kick her under the table.

    “I do…. I can’t fall again, not with Lola here. I’ll never survive if he hurts me again.” Confessing the words out loud made me feel weak and I didn’t like feeling weak. I had held in the secret of who Lola’s father was for the last four years, and something told me that I wouldn’t be able to for much longer.

    Rosy placed her hand on my shoulder, holding me to the ground with her touch. I needed someone to keep me sane right at this moment.

    “You have to come clean about everything… It’s been compiling for years, and no one, not even your family knows the truth. You’re trying to hide something you shouldn’t have to hide…” I bit my bottom lip trying to hide the tears that wanted to fall. I was an emotional wreck and all because of a man who left me pregnant and alone for four years.

    “I know…” I sighed. “I just don’t know that telling him right now is the right thing to do.” Jake was so hung up on getting back with me that if he knew Lola was his he would do everything in his power to bring us all back together.

    But isn’t that what you want?

    The words echoed through my mind.

    “How about this…” Rosy smirked making a gesture at the bartender. “We forget about Jake and leave your brother a big ass tab?” I didn’t even have to think about it. Lola was with my parents for the rest of the evening and I was nursing a broken heart all over again.

    Tequila shots and wine would have to remedy that.

    “Let’s do it!” Excitement zinged through me as Rosy ordered us a round of shots. I took each one graciously letting the tequila trickle down my throat and warm my belly. Shot upon shot entered my mouth, but no matter how much I tried to drown my thoughts of him with alcohol it didn’t work and by the end of the night I was left drunk with more thoughts about him than I cared to share.

    “Whoa!” Rosy giggled as I hopped off the bar stool and headed outside. My entire body was swaying like there were hurricane force winds outside.

    “I’m going to find himmmmm, and tell him…” My words were slurred and my vision was blurry but I could do this.

    “You don’t even know where he is and no one has seen him all evening…” I heard what Rosy said but I didn’t care. I would search till the ends of the Earth for him. He had to know the truth.

    “Well, he’s sleeping around here…” I gestured towards my house, and Rosy busted out in laughter.

    “He’s sleeping outside in the grass near your house?” I turned around faster than necessary glaring at Rosy. The alcohol in my belly sloshed around, causing a slight ache to form in the pit of my stomach.

    “Don’t…” I growled staring out into the grassy field like an idiot. The truth of the matter was that he wasn’t here and that he probably found someone else to take home for the night.

    “What the he…” A smile pulled at my lips as Jake’s deep robust voice met my ears. A shiver ran up my spine as his face appeared before me in the summer moonlight.

    “Ummm… I’m going to go…” Rosy smiled sheepishly before stepping away from me.

    “No, you can’t…” I reached for her but due to all those tequila shots, she gave me my depth perception was off.

    “Whoa, Nelly…” I was blanketed in warmth seconds later as Jake wrapped his arms around me. I settled my head against her chest, missing the sound of his heartbeat beneath my ear.

    “Jake…” His name came out as a sigh. He had no idea how much he meant to me and hopefully he never would because if he ever did find out that would mean I would have fallen for his charms once again.

    “Are your drunk Mia?” Jake asked the most obvious question ever. I pulled out of his strong arms and looked up at him feeling a tiny bit of dizziness wash over.

    “No! I’m coping.” I grunted. Rosie’s words of wisdom echoing through my mind.

    “Coping with what? I think we need to get you into bed. Where is Lola?” I clenched my fists at my sides; hating all the questions he was peppering me with. Nothing I did was his concern or business.

    “You. I’m coping with your presence…” I spoke slowly trying to hide the slur in my words.

    “Come on let’s go,” Jake ordered and within seconds he had me wrapped up in his arms cradling me against his chest. My eyes roamed over his face lingering on his lips. I wanted to kiss him, and the need was almost overpowering me.

    “I missed you.” The words were a whisper I hoped he wouldn’t hear.

    “I know you did.” He whispered back, his voice making me shiver. I could feel the wetness of my arousal pooling between my thighs. It had been a long time since I was with anyone but Jake had my body begging to be taken by him. I longed for his touch for as long as I could remember even when I told myself I hated him.

    “But I still hate you,” I added, making sure he understood how unsure I was of him. I wanted to give into my body’s needs and wants but I knew the adverse effects that would take place if I fell for him all over again.

    “Your body says otherwise.” He purred in my ear, with a smidge of humor in his voice.

    “No. My body just knows when a good looking man is handling it.” I licked my lips, as my nails sunk into his strong shoulder muscles.

    “Keep sinking your nails into my skin like that and I’m going to have no other choice but to strip you bare and devour that sweet thing between your legs.” Shock filled my belly. As much as I hated to admit it I wanted him to keep talking to me like that. I wanted him to dirty me up, and take from me like he never had before.

    The sound of a door opening pulled me from my lustful thoughts and I twisted in his arms until I realized we were in my house.

He was in my house.

I wanted Jake and I knew the only time I would allow myself this moment would be if I were, nearly drunk. Sober Mia was too careful and good to make a choice like this.

Without thinking the thought through I wrapped my hand around the back of his neck and forced his mouth down to mine.

Sparks of pleasure shot through me as soon as our lips touched. Every ounce of pain that I had endured because of this man was put into that kiss.

“Mmmm…” Was that me?

I opened my mouth slightly as I felt the intrusion of Jake’s tongue against the seam of my lips. I gasped for air as his tongue entered my mouth mingling with my own as his hands gripped my soft curves holding me tightly against his chest. There was a need I couldn’t explain in his kiss but I wanted it, and I wanted it badly.

“Fuckkkkkk…” He growled against my mouth, kissing me more fiercely than he had been before. His lips were bruising mine and I wanted more, so much more.

“Fuck me!” I practically begged, gasping for air.

“Mia…” The way he said my name made it sound like he was in pain.

Maybe he doesn’t want you like that?

“Put me down,” I ordered. I might be drunk but I wasn’t stupid.

“Wait… What the hell Mia?” Jake growled as I slithered out of his hold, shoving him away from me all in one motion. I was swaying on my feet as I stared up at him. He was so handsome it was almost sickening.

“I’m not a fucking push over Jake! If you didn’t want me you could’ve said so…” I snarled my lip wanting to attack him with my teeth.

He ran a hand through his short brown hair and exhaled a ragged breath. “I don’t want you Mia….” My heart deflated sinking into my stomach. “I fucking need you. It kills me knowing you’ve been doing this all alone. That I hurt you, and that you’re still aching from the pain.” Tears sprang from my eyes and I wiped at them with the back of my hand refusing to be seen as weak.

“If you fucking needed me you would’ve been here… now give me what I want or leave…” My nails dug into my palms in frustration and that frustration only seemed to mount as soon as I saw the cocky smirk crest Jake’s lips.

“What is it that you want Mia?” He stalked towards me like a lion hunting its prey. I could feel my heart beating furiously against my rib cage.

Could he hear it too?

    “You. Your cock. I want it. Inside me.” I made no fuss about what it was that I wanted. Drunk Mia, could hold her own. It was sober Mia that had a problem stating her opinion.

    “Do you?” Jake leaned in his large frame crowding mine, his breath fanning against my ear. I could feel one of his hand drop down to my thigh, but I had other plans. I didn’t want him to make love to me. No. I wanted him to fuck me. I wanted him to piece me back together just like he ripped me apart.

    “Yes… I do, but I don’t want you to make love to me Jake.” My voice took on a darkness it never had before, as I reached for the zipper on the side of my dress. The house was so quiet, that you could hear each tooth of the zipper coming undone.

    “You want me to fuck you?” Jake questioned, his eyes piercing mine. I bit my bottom lip, suddenly feeling self-conscious. The dress dropping to the floor in a heap the next second. I reached my hands up out of instinct to cover my boobs even though Jake had seen them before still, that was four years, and one child ago. My body didn’t look the same anymore.

    “Don’t…” I took a step back not wanting him to touch me but knowing that if he did I would only be dragged further into his charm.

    “You’re just as beautiful if not prettier than the day I met you, Mia.” Jake smiled making my body warm all over. This was the man I had spent countless hours over crying. The man I had hid an entire life from, and he still wanted me. I was different now, but not so different that I wasn’t me.

    This man loved me, unconditionally, and even if I didn’t want to admit it out loud I had to at the very least admit it to myself.

    Pushing my emotions to the back of my mind I covered the step I had to take backward, stopping once my bare breast touched his shirt clad one.

    “I still want you….” My voice was weak, and swimming with emotion but Jake ignored that. He let me have this moment with him because somehow, some way I figured he knew I needed this.

    “And I still want you…. Your body…” He lifted a hand cupping my breast in one of his hands while rubbing the nipple between his thumb and pointer finger. The sensation was one I hadn’t felt in forever which caused my stomach to soar and my heartbeat to skyrocket. “Your reaction to my touch is the same. Nothing has changed Darlin’... Nothing…” I licked my lips as I stared up at him with a yearning for so much more than just his touch.

    Understanding flickered in his eyes and before I could muster up one single word he was sucking the nipple he had been rolling between his fingers into his hot, wet, mouth. His tongue flicked against the little bud, and my hands sunk into his hair, pulling him in closer to my chest.

    “Yes!” I panted, my nails digging into his scalp as he manhandled me, lifting me up in his arms his mouth never leaving my nipple. I felt nothing, and everything all at once. My present and future were colliding deep inside of me. I was so caught up in my emotions that I didn’t realize that we had made it into my bedroom. Jake released my tit with a loud pop while dropping me onto the mattress below.

    “I want to be gentle with you. I want to savior you. I want this moment to last forever but it won’t so I’m going to give you exactly what you want and next time… next time I’ll claim you nice and slow, marking every single piece of flesh on your body.” His promise was one I wouldn’t let him keep but instead one I would agree to right now just so I could have a taste of him.

    I swallowed down the fear of the unknown and nodded my head yes while pulling him down on top of me. My entire body was on fire, and when Jake’s hands touched my skin it only made matters worse, fanning the flames of desire inside me.

    “I need you!” I cried out, as he shucked out of his clothes. My eyes roamed over his tan chest, and well-defined abs and he smirked at me as I did so, loving the attention he was getting from me I was sure.

    In one fluid movement, I was flipped over onto my belly, with Jake’s large hands spreading my thighs open.

    “How many men have you been with since me?” His voice was filled with need, and as I shot him a look over my shoulder I could tell he was daring me to answer his question.

    “One.” I sighed thinking he was going to end things before they got started.

    “Good…” He growled, trailing two fingers down my ass crack, and to the entrance of my pussy. He gave me no warning as he sunk them deep into my tight hole, stretching me in the most delicious way.

    “Ohhhhahhhhh…” The words that escaped my lips were completely made up. Waves of pleasure rolled through me faster than I could handle, making me gasp for air every time he slid in and out of me.

    “I’ve missed this, your pussy. The sweet taste and aroma only you can give off.” I bit my lip to stifle the moan that wanted to rip from my throat as he continued to thrust his fingers upwards deep inside my channel. Tingles of pleasure shot up and down my spine, making my toes curl. I could feel Jake’s hot breath between my thighs and I wondered what it was he was going to do next.

    “Just one taste. That’s all I need.” He whispered more to himself than me. As soon as his rough tongue touched my clit I was falling apart my release slamming into me harder than it ever had before.

    I clutched onto the sheets while grinding my pussy against his hand, and face. While letting the pleasure consume me over and over again.

    “Give me every drop Mia. I want to taste how much you’ve missed me….” He mumbled against my clit, his fingers sinking deeper into my cunt. My entire body was shaking with aftershocks of pleasure.

    “Jake!!” I moaned his name, my body shuttering against the sheets. He gave my clit one last suck before pulling his fingers all the way out of me.

    “I’ve missed you so fucking much…” He rolled me over onto my back, and our eyes collided. There were so many unsaid words that lingered between us…

    “I’ve missed you too…” I whispered back, my voice low as I lifted a hand to his chest, placing my palm against his steady heartbeat. This was real. He was here.