Chapter Twelve

Jake

 

I was a crazed man on the search for the woman I loved. She couldn’t have left, could she have? Questions coursed through my brain. I didn’t know where she was, all I knew was that her car was gone, and so were her things.

    “None of it is adding up!” The sting of tears in my eyes made me aware that I was on the verge of a complete meltdown. I guess this is what Mia felt like when I left her without so much as an excuse.

    “I told you that she wasn’t here man.” Donovan’s voice echoed through the house. I lifted my head from my hands, looking up at him through blurry eyes.

    “I know. I just didn’t have anywhere else to go. I’ve looked everywhere.” I couldn’t save us if I didn’t even know where to start.

    Donovan had a sour look on his face as she took in my shitty state. “How can you be so upset over something that you caused?”

    I blinked, confusion settling deep into my bones.

What the fuck was he talking about?

“I don’t understand dude?” I shook my head as if doing so would jar some answer to come forward. An evil smile pulled at D’s lips. He looked sinister looking at me the way he was, but I wasn’t scared, I had faced worse in this world.

“Sofia. The kiss.” It hit me like a ton of bricks then. She had seen Sofia kiss me. She must’ve thought…

“Its not what you think D. I didn’t kiss her.” I shot up from the chair I was siting in.

“You expect me to believe you when Mia saw it with her own eyes?” Donovan raised an eyebrow at me. He knew something, something that I needed to know.

“I do, because what Mia saw wasn’t me kissing Sofia, it was Sofia kissing me. I shoved her away D. You know how much Mia means to me…” I was ready to get down on both knees and beg him to tell me whatever it was that he knew.

“You fucking liar…” He growled, his fist landing against the top of my cheek without warning. My entire body swayed with the blow. “You broke her heart once, but a second time, really? You must think I’m dumb or something?” I sucked in fresh oxygen trying to calm my boiling blood. He wasn’t trying to start a fight; he was just trying to protect Mia.

“I, fucking love Mia. I love her so much. I did nothing wrong. Nothing. I’ve been the man she needed, and the father that Lola deserved.” I spoke through clenched teeth.

“Yeah right, you need to stay the fuck away from Lola. She deserves more than you anyway.” Donovan hissed, and I lost it then. Before I could stop myself I had him by the throat, pinned against the far wall.

“I won’t stay away from Lola. She’s my fucking daughter. Mine. Just like Mia is mine. I love them both with every single fiber inside of me, and I will do whatever the hell I need to, too prove that to you. Do you understand me?” We were nose to nose, and from the look in Donovan’s eyes I could tell that he got me.

“Wait, did you just say you’re Lola’s father?” He didn’t seem to skip a beat when speaking so I released him, moving away from him.

“Yeah. We didn’t want to tell anyone until we were back together for a while, but Lola is mine. Mia got pregnant before I left for basic. She never told me, otherwise I never would’ve gone.” I ran a hand through my hair, well taking in a ragged breath.

Donovan shook his head, “She lied…. that little asshole. She told all of us she didn’t know who the father was. That she had a fling with some guy over the summer. It makes sense now though…” His comment had my blood singing.

“Well yeah, she fucking lied. I’m the father and I’m not going to let her run away with Lola. I’m not going to let her leave without fully understanding what happened. I didn’t betray her. She’s fragile, and broken, and that’s my fucking fault I know that but I wouldn’t ever hurt her again, not like that.” Shame laced my words. I would never been able to take away the pain I had caused Mia, but I could try and ease it. I could make her life easier by being a permeant fixture in it. By taking care of her every single need.

“Damnit Jake. I promised her I wouldn’t tell you.” Donovan seemed to be the one struggling through his emotions now.

“I would never ask you unless I knew it was the right thing. I love her D. I fucking love her, and I want to make things right with her. I want her to know that I would never hurt her like that. That it wasn’t me and instead it was Sofia. I pushed her away.” I confessed to Donovan hoping he would believe me.

He sighed, “Alright. She’s at the cabin. The one we went to when we were kids down by Kerplunk Lake?”

“Thank you D!” I could’ve kissed him right then and there. I grabbed my shit and shoved my feet into a pair of sneakers making a beeline for the door.

“She’s going to kill me….” Donovan mumbled under his breath.

“No she won’t. I’ll explain everything.” I slapped a hand to his back hoping the little scuffle we got into was behind us. At the end of the day Donovan was still one of my best friend and I didn’t want something so small to come between all the memories we had made.

“Let’s hope it works out.” He sighed running his fingers through his hair. I knew him telling me where she went put his neck on the line but I had to let Mia know that nothing happened between Sofia and I.

I had to make my entire family whole again.

 

***

 

The drive to the lake was long, but enjoyable. It gave me time to clear my head and run through what it was I was going to say to Mia. I needed an approach because the second I walked through that front door she was going to tell me to get out, and if what I said didn’t click somewhere inside her head then she was as good as gone.

But I couldn’t think that way. I sped up, rounding the corner ahead. I had so many memories of this place with both Mia and Donovan. The boat house where Mia and I would slip off to make out when her parents weren’t looking, and the tire swing that Donovan and I always jumped off of and into the water.

I slowed down, shoving the memories to the back of my mind. If I couldn’t get this shit sorted there would be no new memories to create here. I turned onto the dirt road that led up to the cabin. By now Mia knew someone was approaching, you could hear a car a mile down the road before you saw it.

My hands felt clammy and my stomach was a ball of nerves. God. The air left my lungs as the cabin came into view and so did Mia’s car.

Deep Breathes. Keep it together.

One would’ve thought the military taught me discipline and strength but Mia was both of those things to me, and without her by my side I was a weak, weak man.

“Come on Lola!” I heard her yell, just as I parked the bike, killing the engine, and removing my helmet. Gravel crunched beneath my feet as I walked to the huge front porch of the cabin.

“I know you think I kissed her, but I didn’t. I pushed her away. I don’t care about her Mia. I never have. It’s always been you. Even when I left, it was you. I knew one day I would come back and make you mine again, even if you had a husband, and kids. In my heart you would always remain mine.” The words poured from within me seeping into the space between us.

“I saw you though…” Mia croaked and the need to go to her was nearly overpowering me. “I saw the kiss, she… she kissed you Jake.” The tears that fell from her eyes were because of me. The pain that lingered in her heart was because of me. The insecurities she had were mine, and I needed to build her up. I needed her to see that she was the most beautiful thing to me.

“That’s just it baby, she kissed me…” I couldn’t stop myself I had to touch her. I moved up the steps and into her space, cradling one of her smooth cheeks in my hand. She smelt like heaven, and for the first time all day I felt like I could breath. I could see the light bulb go off inside her head the dots were connecting.

“It hurt to see it though. It made me think things. I’m scared. You know that.” More tears fell and I stared down into her Emerald green eyes, wanting to take all the pain away.

“I love you Mia. You can run to the ends of the fucking Earth to get away from me but I’ll still come for you. You’re my all, my every-fucking-thing and nothing, nor no one will ever mean more to me than you and my daughter…” I couldn’t emphasize it enough.

A sob ripped from her throat and within seconds she was leaning against my chest, her tears soaking into my t-shirt.

“I hate you for hurting me.” She whispered so softly I almost missed the words. She clung to me like I was a lifeline, telling me how much I had hurt her. Pouring every single emotion she felt over the last four years into her words.

“I want to be angry, to hit you, to lash out at you, to run away, but I also want to hug you, and kiss you, and tell you how much I love you. I’m conflicted with my emotions and it’s because of you…” Her small fist slammed into my chest, making my heartbeat faster.

“Give it to me baby, give me all your anger and pain, and let me turn it into something glorious, let me give you your happily ever after.”

Her sobs got louder, and Lola grew concerned as she watched us from inside the house, a frown marring her beautiful features.

“I’m no prince Mia, but I’m going to do whatever I can to treat you like the queen you’re. I’ll protect you. Stand by you. I’ll be your strength. I’ll be whatever you need me to be, just let me be something for you, anything.” I couldn’t see through the tears that had started to form in my eyes.

I wrapped my arms around Mia so tight I was sure I was going to cut off air supply to her lungs.

“Just be my forever, and I’ll be yours too.”

And I would be until the day we died.