CHAPTER EIGHT
REID
Three Weeks Later
Her father showed up two days later, taking her away from me. It took everything in me to let her go, to watch her walk out the front door. I knew she hated leaving, and I hated myself more for letting her go, but it was what needed to be done.
“Just tell him how you feel about her.” Darren butted into my thoughts. I was going to drown myself in a bottle of whiskey before I did something as stupid as follows Darren’s advice.
“Nope.” I spoke clearly taking another swig from the bottle.
“Actually, you need to slow down.” Darren grabbed at the bottle of whiskey but I brought it to my chest, shaking my head no. I hadn't drunk this much since I enlisted but there wasn't anything that could fill the space in my heart that Bridget owned.
She let me claim her, and she knew how badly it would hurt me to watch her walk away.
“Touchhh the botttle and I'll break your f-fingers.” My words slurred a bit as I narrowed my eyes at him. He smirked, seeming unafraid.
“I’ve never seen you drink this much before.” I knew Darren’s concern was real. Hell, I was concerned, but if I wasn’t drinking then there was a chance, I would go straight to Parker and tell him how much I cared about Bridget.
“Ya have now.” I tipped the bottle back again, the whiskey numbing my senses. I couldn’t handle the need, the desires pulsing through me.
“I’m worried about you, man. And I’m not worried about anyone, ever.” That was true, but what did I care? My reason for breathing was gone, and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it, because if I did, then I would risk a twenty year friendship and I couldn’t do that.
“Don’t be worried about me, this whiskey here will keep me in my place.” I placed the bottle on the island, swaying on my feet. I hated myself for letting go of the one woman I could love.
“How do you even know he wouldn’t approve?” Darren eyed me, and my staggering.
“I know.” I swung around, coming to face him, my fingers gripping onto the edge of the counter to steady me.
“I guess…” He shrugged, “I could call some girls and help you get over her. I know there isn’t anything like virgin pussy but…”
I clenched my fist in rage, his words heated me right now, “Don’t ever talk about her like that again.” Darren knew I was angry because he slithered off the barstool with his hands up as if to say he didn’t do anything.
“I didn’t mean it like that and you know that.” I shook my head, the memory of her lips against mine slammed into me. I needed to move on, to let go of the feelings I had for her. There was no way we could be together, no way we could have our happily ever after without ruining someone else’s life.
“I…. I know.” I squeezed my lids closed. Anger. Pain. Sadness. It all engulfed me. I needed to be alone so I could wallow in my own misery. “Get out of here.” I muttered, stumbling out of the kitchen and in the direction of the bedroom. I used the wall to guide me, down the hall to my bedroom. I swear I could still smell her as I sucked in a breath of air.
I pushed through the door, tugging at my t-shirt, and unbuttoning my jeans. All I wanted was her, her touch, her lips, her hands against my skin. I was devoted to her completely, my body refusing to admire another woman ever.
If it wasn’t my kitten, then it wasn’t anyone.
“Are you going to be okay?” Darren’s voice carried down the hall and vibrated through me. Hadn’t I told him to leave?
“Go away.” I grumbled sagging against the mattress, the same mattress where I claimed her for the very first time. I didn’t hear Darren’s voice again, and I hoped he had taken my advice and left. Emotions overwhelmed me, and I pulled my iPhone out of my jeans, my fingers gliding across the screen as I stared at the picture that graced it.
I had gotten one picture of her while she was here with me, one single picture and I would cherish it so long as lived.
“Be a man…” I muttered to myself, feeling tears sting my eyes. I couldn’t cry over her, I couldn’t. I’d lost men at war, watched people I love lose their fight with cancer but nothing broke me like losing Bridget.
The desire to text her was consuming me, so I typed out the message I wanted, the words a jumbled mess, then I clicked on her name and hit send. I shouldn’t have done it, I know, but I had to I had to tell her how I felt even if it was wrong.
I slammed back onto the mattress, tears slipping from my eyes. I had let her go. I didn’t fight for her, for us, and the pain I was feeling was my own, for being stupid enough to think I could live without her.
The sound of my phone ringing registered somewhere in my mind, and I clutched it to my chest like a lifeline, watching Bridgets name flash across the screen.
I hit the green answer key, her sweet voice filling my ears. “Are you okay, Reid?” I could tell she was panicked, afraid even, and I hated that I had stirred that emotion in her.
“I’m not. I miss you, so fucking much.” I whispered the words, feeling as if I was talking to the memory of a ghost instead of actually her.
“Reid.” She said my name with so much anguish I could feel the words stabbing deep into my heart. I bit my lip, stifling the sadness that wanted to escape them.
“I should’ve told you.” The words vibrated through me.
“Reid, I have to tell you something.” I sat up in the bed, clutching the phone to my ear tightly, waiting for her to speak again.
“What is it, kitten?” I waited with bated breath to hear what she had to say.
“I’m pregnant, and my dad knows, and he’s livid…” I blinked, the whiskey in my veins evaporated into the air. As soon as the words slipped from her lips and through the speaker on the phone, I sobered up.
“Pregnant? How?” I asked myself more than her. She told me she was on birth control, did she lie?
“You’re the daddy, Reid. I forgot my pills and didn’t realize it until I got home. I’m sorry.” She sniffled, as if she was on the verge of tears. My heart shattered into a million pieces hearing the sadness that radiated out of her voice.
“Daddy?” I whispered the word, letting it sink in. I was going to be a dad. A-fucking-father. Did Parker know?
“Yes, Reid. You’re going to be a dad. I’m sorry, if you don’t want the baby then I’ll figure something out, I don’t want you to be upset with me.” I shook my head, hating that she thought I didn’t want the baby.
“Stop. Shhh, kitten.” I sucked in a breath. “I want the baby. I want you. Fuck, you’ve consumed every single thought I’ve had since you left three weeks ago.” I could hear her gasp through the phone. Did she expect me to be happy that she was gone?
“I thought you were mad at me. I thought you wanted me to leave.” I licked my lips envisioning the things I would do to her if she were right in front of me.
“Never, kitten, never-fucking-ever.” I needed to get to her, to be the man she needed. I’d put a ring on her finger. I’d support and cherish her like a real man should.
“I want to be with you.” She pleaded.
“You will be kitten, you will be. You’re mine now. Our child grows inside you and you’re mine baby, mine.” I growled. I would have to sleep off the whiskey that still coursed through my veins but when I woke up in the morning, I would make the trip to come see her.
“He knows, Reid. My dad knows. He doesn’t know you’re the father, but he blames you. He thinks you let me go out and sleep around.” I scrubbed a hand down my face, anger surfacing fast. Parker didn’t understand the dynamics of mine and Bridget’s relationship, but he would shortly.
“I’ll be there in the morning, kitten, and when I get there you better be ready to go because I ain’t leaving without you.” I announced. Knowing Bridget was carrying our baby inside of her sweet womb changed everything, it removed the need to be away from her, if anything I needed to be with her, inside her, and beside her. Forever.
I would be the man she needed, and the father our child deserved.
“Okay….” Her voice wobbled again. “I…. I love you.” She whispered, her words slamming into my gut. I wanted to whisper them back, and I should’ve but when I said them to her, I wanted it to be right, and right now wasn’t the time to be saying them.
“I know you do, kitten, and when the time is right, I’ll whisper the same words back to you, but when I do...it’s going to be perfect because you deserve only the best.” My eyes felt heavy, and my breaths evened out as I waited for Bridget to say something.
“I’ll see you tomorrow then. Goodnight, Reid.” She spoke softly, and then the line went dead. I sagged back against the mattress, my eyes closing, the things Bridget had just told me running rampant in my mind.
I was going to be a daddy. I was going to be a husband. I was going to be the best fucking man I could be for my sweet little kitten and the best fucking father to our sweet baby growing inside her belly.