Chapter 10

Mike

I was already turning out to be a crappy friend. After 48-hours at the hospital, my patient had finally given birth, but I hadn’t slept all weekend and needed to head home and crash. I apologized to Julia and she seemed okay with it all, but it was a huge disappointment to me. Before I fell asleep I texted her in an effort to save our date.

MIKE: How about next Saturday night?

JULIA: For Netflix and pizza?

MIKE: For whatever you’d like to do.

JULIA: Netflix and pizza again sounds great.

MIKE: Perfect!

She could have offered to sit and read books and I would have agreed. I was drawn to Julia now more than ever. The week dragged on as if I was waiting for something huge and not just a tame night at Julia’s house. I kept distracted with work and Bruce helped me with a new project we had been contemplating for a long time.

We were looking at adding a new doctor to our practice. It was a huge deal for us and considering the turbulence Bruce and I had had lately I wasn’t so sure it was the right time, but the process could take months or even years as we search for just the right person to bring onboard, so we decided to get the word out. The resumes rolled in from physicians looking to move into their own practice.

“This is hard,” Bruce grumbled as we sat and looked through files late Friday night after our work day had finished.

“I know, everyone seems way more qualified than we ever were when we started this place.”

“I know! I’m afraid we’d bring one of these people on board and they would take over!”

I had the exact same thought as we looked through our early list of candidates. Bruce and I did a damn good job running this place, but we weren’t perfect. It would be a balance trying to find someone to fit in with us without being too meek or too over powering.

“Maybe we should bring on two new staff doctors and no partners,” I suggested. “Then they will both know they are not in charge and we are the bosses.”

“Do we have enough patients to support that?”

“Hell, you and I don’t need to be taking so many patients all the time. We could just be the handsome faces of the business and keep small patient loads. We could let the new docs be patient heavy.”

“I’m liking the sound of this.”

“Let’s have your business guy run some numbers for us and then we can look at that. I also think we could take over the rest of this floor as soon as that tech firm goes bust.”

“Ha, yeah, they always end up going bust, don’t they?” Bruce and I both laughed.

Every firm that had shown up across the hallway was in and out of there within the year, sometimes only a few months. It was a combination of bad management and just young people who were too eager to get big. It was the exact reason I wanted to have a clear plan of our expansion before we made any big moves.

“I’m going over to Julia’s house tomorrow,” I said a little desperate for a man’s take on what I was doing.

“Cool, how’s she doing? Any word on the little one?”

“It’s only been a week.”

“Oh yeah, the days just blend together for me lately. I haven’t been myself since I’ve had to start showing up for work every day.”

“Yeah, I think you’re going to like this new plan a lot.”

“Damn right I am. I can’t wait to be one of those jerky doctors who doesn’t show up except for once a week.”

“Again,” I added.

“Yeah, yeah. So you’re going to hang out with your baby momma, that’s sweet. A little dangerous, but sweet.”

“What do you mean dangerous?”

“You’re going to screw her and then ruin that nice little contract that I gave you. Emotions always ruin things.”

“For your information I’ve already screwed her, well before the whole baby thing though,” I laughed. “But I know what you mean. I’ll keep it friends. She would be a nice woman to have around as a friend. Plus, I’ve known her since she was like ten, so that might make the whole baby thing even sweeter.”

“If you don’t screw her.”

“That’s what I’m saying, Bruce. I’m keeping it friends.”

“Okay,” he said looking utterly unconvinced.

I wasn’t even sure that I was convincing myself that I was going to be able to keep things as just a friendship with Julia. I knew it was the best plan though and I genuinely wanted to do what was best for her.

We wrapped up our resume explorations and called it a night. On the way out of the clinic I couldn’t help but glance over at the tech firm across the hall with all their lights on. There was an office full of workers who clearly weren’t heading home anytime soon; the burnout rate on those tech guys had to be pretty damn young.

***

I grabbed the pizza; a half meat and half veggie. I also picked up some ice cream and movie snacks before making my way to Julia’s apartment. With a quick buzz of her intercom she let me in and I was up the elevator and knocking on her door shortly after.

Her apartment was small, with a bedroom for her and one for her roommate. The living room was in the middle with the kitchen attached to it. They had a soft grey sofa and big television in the room but not much else. It was cramped quarters and I couldn’t help wondering if she was planning on staying in that same apartment after the baby came.

Maybe the roommate would be leaving? Maybe it was none of my business because I was just a donor in this situation and not supposed to be involved in Julia’s life like that.

“I brought food!” I said as Julia opened the door. “I wasn’t sure if your roommate would be around so I got plenty if she is.”

“Nope, she’s off with her new man.”

“The guy from the club?”

“No,” Julia laughed as if I was being ridiculous.

“So what’s on for the night? Anything good? Movie or television series?”

“I’m flexible. I was really hoping to watch that new series based in the medieval times or whatever. You know the one with that sexy blonde lady and the dragons who are taking over.”

“Yeah, perfect. I haven’t watched that yet.”

“I’m glad you’re here, Mike. It’s good to see you,” Julia grabbed the pizza from me and I followed her to the kitchen.

She was pregnant already, I just knew it. Her skin was glowing more than when I’d seen her last. She looked so happy. Like a woman who was in the process of making a baby.

“How are you feeling? You look great!”

“I feel normal. I think I’m just eating more because I’m nervous,” she laughed.

“Well, you look great,” I said again watching her bend over and grab a big bowl from the cabinet below. Damn her ass looked fine in those shorts.

“Thanks,” she laughed as she caught me staring at her butt. “I think it’s getting bigger alredy.”

“Perfect. I love big butts.”

She just laughed and finished putting some chips in the bowl she had grabbed. Together we filled our plates with pizza and snacks and then made our way over to the couch to get our night of television started.

Julia had on a pair of tight workout shorts and a big oversized sweatshirt. But she’d cut part of the top off the sweatshirt so it hung down on one shoulder and had shorter sleeves. Her hair was up in a messy ponytail and she didn’t have a touch of makeup on, yet she looked absolutely stunning.

I sat on the couch while she fiddled with the remote and found the show we were going to start watching. It was one of those series that had several seasons and could easily keep us occupied for days and days. Exactly what I hoped for, days and days of hanging out with Julia.

She found a spot on the couch a little further from me than I had hoped, but then again if we were going to keep this situation as just friends then distance was good. It was hard for me to imagine being just Julia’s friend though. The more I was around her the harder that thought became.

“So I should be able to take the test in a couple of days, right?” Julia asked and pulled her legs up next to her on the couch.

“Yep, but remember, the whole first trimester is about growth. It’s also the time when people have miscarriages the easiest. Try not to get too excited until things are a little further along.”

“Oh, okay,” Julia said as the smile dropped from her face. “How often do women have miscarriages?”

“Didn’t Bruce go over this with you?” I asked as I moved closer to her to comfort her a little.

“I’m not sure, I wasn’t paying attention. I was so excited I might have missed it. So I could get all excited for the baby and then lose it? What happens with a miscarriage? I hear women talk about them all the time but I really don’t know much about how it happens. Will I be in pain? How will I know it’s happening?”

She was starting to panic and I felt horrible for even bringing it up. Having her blood pressure up and worrying about the baby wasn’t going to change anything that was happening inside of her. At least it wasn’t going to make it better, in fact, I believed that stress could actually make things worse for a growing fetus.

“Julia,” I said and held onto her hand. “You can’t worry about it yet. I’m just saying to try and take a little bit of a muted approach in the first few weeks. You can still get excited. You should definitely get excited. In fact, I want you to call me right away when you take the test and tell me all about it.”

“But be prepared if something bad happens?”

“Well, sort of. Just know that it could happen. Keep taking care of yourself and doing the best you can to keep your health in top order. That’s all you can do. Nature sometimes messes things up and there is just nothing we can do to fix that.”

“So I shouldn’t buy that new condo I was thinking about just yet?”

“You can buy your condo. You can buy your crib. You can do any of those motherly things you want to do. Because if it doesn’t work this time all you have to do is try next month and then the month after. You’re young and healthy, I don’t think the process will take you very long at all.”

“I can’t help but be excited,” she said as she hopped up onto the side of the couch. “I don’t think I’ll be able to hold it back if I’m pregnant. I guess I’ll just have to go with it.”

“Yeah, I don’t think you will,” I smiled up at her.

She slid back down to her seat on the couch and flipped the show on. I stayed there next to her and decided not to move back to the other side of the couch. It was more comfortable being there close to her than in the corner anyways.

As we watched the show I found myself inching closer and closer to Julia. Soon she had her head tucked in next to my chest and we were cuddling watching Netflix for hours. Her hair smelled of coconut and I couldn’t stop taking in her scent as we sat together.

When she let her hand fall onto my lap I froze though. The touch of her fingers on my thigh had my whole body aching for her. I knew we needed to stay friends, or at least that was what I’d been telling myself, but there was a calmness about me when I was with Julia.

I didn’t move her hand. I tried not to focus on it. But I loved that she was touching me. My eyes continued to watch the show yet I wasn’t paying attention to any of it. Instead, my full attention was on everything about Julia. Her scent, her movements, even how she breathed. When she moved her fingers slightly, I mentally urged her to keep moving up my thigh.

Oh, how I would have loved if she’d just grabbed a hold of me and started stroking me right there. Sex was on my mind, there was no doubt about it. For all my talk about being friends I did want more with Julia, it didn’t matter that she wanted to have a baby. But I knew that should matter to me. I should care that this was the life she wanted and me trying to have sex with her was going to confuse her, I really should have cared.

“I swear if that guy gets any more kills under his belt he’s going to end up the King,” Julia said as she lifted up her head and looked at me.

“I know, right?” I laughed, not knowing at all what she was talking about.

In the process of looking up at me, Julia had moved her hand off my leg and back onto her own leg. The disappointment was real. I reluctantly went back to watching the show and paying attention to what was going on, at least for a little while.

Soon I found myself drifting off though. It was well past midnight but Julia was still watching the show and I didn’t want to leave. I repositioned myself a little lower on the couch and found a spot for my head on the pillows behind me. Moments later I was drifting off to sleep.

When I started to wake up I wasn’t exactly sure if I was waking up or still in the middle of a dream. Julia’s hand was definitely rubbing up and down my hard shaft. My jeans were still on but I was bulging like I could bust out of them at any moment.

I assessed the situation. Julia was stroking me, so she was interested in not being just friends? This was what I wanted. This was the ideal situation. Certainly I couldn’t turn this down.

But then this part of my brain that I absolutely hate started taking over. She was vulnerable right now. This was a big deal for her and maybe she thought I wouldn’t stay around if she didn’t sleep with me or something. I wasn’t exactly sure what was going on. I let my fingers glide through her hair as I enjoyed her hand on me for a minute while I tried to decide what I should do. Surely we could figure this out. Maybe this was going to be a fun thing for us, we could be friends with benefits or something like that.

“Julia, I thought you just wanted to be friends?” I said softly.

She didn’t respond.

“I’m open to this if you’re interested but we should probably talk about it.”

Again, she didn’t respond at all. Yet her hand continued to stroke and play with me. I was so confused as to what was going on here. Surely she was awake, wasn’t she? I mean a girl didn’t just start stroking you while she was sound asleep, or did she?

I leaned over and tried to get a good look at her face, but her head was tucked in so close on my chest that I couldn’t get a good look. She was slumped down pretty good as well.

“Are you awake?” I finally asked.

No response.

Slowly I pulled her hand off of me and moved her head so she was resting on the side of the couch. She was asleep! Julia didn’t even know she was stroking me. Quickly I moved to the other side of the couch and tried to take in the whole situation.

We had been asleep for so long that the sun was starting to come up now. I didn’t want to leave without waking her up but I couldn’t exactly wake her up at the moment since I was throbbing through my jeans.

Instead, I started picking up the mess we had made and went into the kitchen to clean up a little bit. Julia started to stir a little on the couch and I moved even quieter around the kitchen in the hope that I wouldn’t wake her up just yet. But sure enough she started to wake up and was looking around to see where I was at.

“Oh, well I should invite you over more often if you’re going to clean for me,” she said sweetly as she came into the kitchen.

“You can invite me over anytime.”

“You know, I was having a delicious dream, and it was about you,” Julia said as she moved in closer to me.

“Really, what was it?”

“I don’t know if I should say. I mean we are friends and all.”

“Yeah, definitely don’t tell me then. You wouldn’t want to share something like a dream with your friend.”

“I dreamt that we were cuddled up in some lounge chairs on a beach somewhere. It was really romantic.”

“Oh, that’s nice.”

“And well…” she drifted off as she pulled herself up onto the counter next to the sink where I was doing dishes.

“Well, what?” I asked trying not to have any idea what was going on in this dream of hers.

“We were about to have sex. I was teasing you.”

“Really?” I said with a fake surprised expression.

“Yep, and I think you were liking it.”

“Oh, I’m sure I was liking it. I have no doubt in my mind at all that I would have been loving having your hands on my body.”

“I was wondering,” Julia said as her hand traced up my arm. “Are you fully committed to being friends?”

“Of course. I want to be involved as much as you’re comfortable with. I’m actually excited about this idea.”

“I mean, what if I just couldn’t resist,” she said and then grabbed me and pulled me in for a kiss.

I dropped the plate that I was washing and enjoyed every second of Julia’s lips on mine. She was definitely awake. There was no doubt that she knew exactly what she was doing in that moment.