Chapter 11

Lilli

“Monica. You have to come out with us tonight. No saying no this time. I’ve got so much to tell you, and you have to say yes,” I begged as I clocked in for work that night.

“Yes.” She laughed. “I actually can go out with you guys tonight.”

“Finally! I can’t wait to tell you all about my weekend date and a private jet.”

“What?”

“Oh, you have to wait until tonight,” I said with a smile.

“What’s going on with you? Where’s your tongue ring?” Monica asked as she leaned in and practically pried my mouth open.

“Nothing,” I lied and smiled as I went off to do my work.

The nursing home wasn’t anything special. The bland tan colored walls were decorated with nondescript paintings that had likely come with the building when the new orders purchased it. The patients were well taken care of and seemed happy enough, and on this particular day, I was even happy to be there.

My job didn’t feel nearly as daunting as it had been even a few days before. Instead, I smiled widely as I visited each of the patients and helped them with their daily living tasks. We did showers and changed clothing. I helped organize their beds and sitting areas. For one patient, we spent nearly an hour going through a photo album that her family had dropped off.

As my shift finally came to an end, and I’d tucked everyone in for the night, I felt wonderful – better than I could have remembered feeling on any other day at my job. Perhaps I had disliked my job because of my own mood and not because of the job itself?

When I first started working, I thought getting my bachelor’s degree in nursing was the route I wanted to go. I’d imagined going back to school and getting my degree and then enjoying the large paycheck that would come with such an important job. Instead of working at a nursing home, though, I’d hoped of working with children at the hospital.

Life has a funny way of changing your dreams, though, and I had stopped thinking of being a nurse and settled into the assistant job I had. Even though I was grumpy and not happy, I hadn’t been able to muster the energy to think past that week of work. But on this night, I had a clear vision.

My passion was back in full force, and I spent my lunch break looking up the college nursing program that I’d once admired. I even requested that they send me an application packet so I could officially try to get admitted.

“So are you going to tell me what’s going on?” Monica asked as we clocked out and walked to her car.

“I’m applying to college,” I announced.

“That’s why you got rid of the tongue piercing, and you’re smiling all night long?”

“Oh, no, that’s because of Devin,” I said in a more cheerful voice than I had intended.

“Devin?”

“My neighbor. I went with him to Jacksonville to see his daughter. He needed me to pretend to be his wife. It was a really fun trip. We took his jet. Can you even believe that I know someone who has a jet? Well, I don’t think it’s actually his, he just rents it when he needs it or something like that.”

My excitement over the last few days had me babbling on, and I could hardly contain my excitement. But Monica didn’t look excited at all at what I was telling her; in fact, she seemed a little concerned.

“You were pretending to be his wife and went to see his daughter?”

The judgment that washed over her face hit me hard. I was prepared for something like that from my parents, but not from my friend. It caught me off guard instantly.

“It was just so his in-laws could see he was responsible. It’s not a big deal.”

Monica had much more she wanted to say to me, I sensed it as she opened her mouth to talk but then closed it again. She instead just got in her car, and I got into the other side. I wasn’t sure what part of my story had her so worried, but I preferred her silence to anything bad she might have to say, so I didn’t question her further.

“Where are we going tonight?” Monica asked as we drove toward downtown.

“Anna and the girls want to go to Slide; is that alright?”

“It’s good for me. I’m not going to be drinking too much, so I’ll drive. Is that alright with you?”

“Yep, but the reason I wanted you to come out was so you could let go and relax a little. You can always take an Uber home if you decide you want to have more fun.”

“I don’t need to get drunk to have fun,” Monica said in a stern voice.

The undertones of judgment were strong. I hadn’t invited Monica out so she could lecture me, and I wasn’t even planning on drinking all that much anyway. This wasn’t turning out at all like I’d hoped it would. Monica was supposed to be my friend. I thought she would have been over the moon excited to hear my story of taking a private jet, but instead, she didn’t seem interested at all.

As we arrived at Club Slide, I saw Anna, Amy, and Rebecca all standing out front flirting with the bouncer. This club was harder than some of the others to get into, but I wasn’t worried about it. The bouncers never said no to Anna, and they never bothered to question her ID either. She had a charm about her that the guys always gave into.

“Hey, Monica!” the girls yelled as we pulled up.

“I’m going to park. I don’t want to be stuck waiting for a valet later tonight,” she hollered out the window as she dropped me off at the door.

I was still wearing my hideous work outfit, but I didn’t even care. The night was more about hanging out with my friends than it was about finding hot guys because I happened to have a damn hot neighbor who I was perfectly happy flirting with when I got home.

The thought of Devin made me realize that I hadn’t actually heard from him at all that day. He had said he would text me, but nothing came through. My insecurities raged at what might be keeping him from reaching out to me.

“Lilli, you look so hot tonight,” Anna joked.

“Yeah, is that a new style?” Rebecca added.

“Yep, you guys are totally lame. Monica and I are wearing the latest trends.”

“So, it’s been killing me. How was your weekend with your new husband?” Anna said as she started to laugh.

The looks on Amy and Rebecca’s faces were priceless. As if I’d kept them out of the loop on one of my most treasured secrets. Of course, I wouldn’t have actually gotten married in secret. When the time finally came for me to get married, it was going to be one of the most amazing events. Everyone would be talking about it for months afterward.

“Don’t worry, I’m not actually married,” I said to calm Amy and Rebecca’s nerves. “I just pretended to be my hot neighbor’s wife for the weekend while we took his private jet to visit his ex’s family.”

I grabbed Anna’s arm, and the bouncer nodded that we could all go in. I couldn’t stop smiling at the way Amy and Rebecca had literally dropped their jaws at the idea I had taken a private jet.

“Wait,” Monica said from behind us as the bouncer stopped her. I’m with them.”

“Oh, Bobby. She’s with me, sorry, I forgot to tell you,” Anna said playfully as she went back for Monica.

Although Monica and Anna weren’t technically friends, they were friends by association because of me. Monica didn’t like Anna all that much, and Anna didn’t really care about Monica, but when we were all together, the two of them played nice. Luckily, we weren’t all together very often.

“Okay, so tell me all about this trip. Was it totally dreamy? Did you guys screw all night long? Did you join the mile high club?” Anna went on and on.

I glanced over at Monica, and she didn’t seem to be listening, but I already knew she wasn’t nearly as excited about the whole weekend as Anna was.

“Okay, we didn’t sleep together. He was a perfect gentleman, first of all.”

“Ugh, that doesn’t sound like a fun weekend,” Anna said as she started in on her drinking for the evening.

“We had a good time. The private jet was so scary, though. It took off nearly straight in the air, and I thought I was going to puke for sure.”

“Did he comfort you with his tongue down your throat?” Anna asked jokingly.

“No! It was a nice trip. I met his daughter and her grandparents. She stayed with us at the hotel.”

“She stayed with you and this guy in the same room while you two were pretending to be married?” Monica asked un-approvingly.

“We weren’t screwing on the bed while she was in the room. Geesh Monica. I went to bed early, and Devin and Izzy swam in the pool. It was a huge king size bed, and Devin stayed on his side all night long. Izzy slept on a big chaise longue chair by the window. Why are you so upset about all of this?”

“You basically tricked a little girl into thinking her father was married? That’s horrible. I don’t know why you think it was a good thing.”

“Wait a minute. We never really told his daughter that we were married. It was just a ruse for the grandparents. All she knew was that I was a friend of Devin’s. There was no kissing or any talk about me being his wife. You need to calm down.”

“Fine, but it still is really deceitful, and I don’t get how you could like a guy who was so willing to lie like that? Why couldn’t he just go and visit his daughter?”

It was a reasonable question that I’d asked myself even. Devin seemed to think that he wouldn’t have been allowed to visit his daughter, but once we got there, Mrs. and Mr. Edwards were very welcoming to him. Whether they would have treated him the same way if I wasn’t there, I would never know. But the lying didn’t seem necessary to me either.

“He said it and couldn’t take it back. He wasn’t happy about what he did, and we were just trying to make the best of the situation.”

“Whatever. It’s your life.”

Monica rolled her eyes and turned away from me as she started talking with Rebecca about something else. It was a bit of a relief not to have that negativity for a moment, and I went back to talking to Anna and Amy.

“So you had fun?” Amy asked.

“Yeah, it was fun. He’s a really nice guy and so friggin handsome. It was hard to sit and talk to him at first because I couldn’t believe I was there, but by the end of the weekend, things were going much better. And Anna, he kissed me after we got home,” I said as I grabbed her hands and jumped up in excitement.

Monica turned when she heard what I’d said, but she didn’t add any more commentary. No matter why I had been with Devin that weekend, it was still exciting to get kissed by a handsome guy. Nothing else could take away that moment.

“So he kissed you? It wasn’t you throwing yourself at him this time?” Anna laughed.

“No, I didn’t make a move at all, it was all him. And man was he a good kisser.”

“Perfect amount of tongue and lips?” Anna asked.

“Yep, he was super sweet about the whole thing.”

“So what did he say today? Has he messaged you yet?” Anna continued.

The look of disappointment on my face must have given away the bad news. No, Devin hadn’t sent me a text message or reached out in any way since we returned home. It was as if he wasn’t interested in continuing things at all.

As a 21-year-old woman, it was possible that I’d built up something between us when there wasn’t much there at all; I admitted that freely to myself. I wanted him to like me, so perhaps I’d imagined more emotion than he actually had, but it still hurt.

“It’s okay. He’s old. Those guys get all wrapped up in their life and aren’t worried about texting. Let’s give it a couple of days,” Anna said reassuringly.

“Yeah, I’m sure he’s just busy with work.”

“Or maybe you should text him,” Amy suggested.

“No, absolutely not,” Anna said firmly, and we all turned and looked at her.

Anna was the youngest of us all by a couple of years. She clearly had no experience with actual relationships, but she had all these grand ideas of what a relationship should look like, and she wasn’t afraid to share her opinions with the rest of us.

“Why Anna?” I asked.

“Because you’re already at a disadvantage because of your age. You can’t feed into any of the traditional things people think about younger girls. If you start messaging him first, then he’s got the upper hand. Wait it out.”

“But what if he doesn’t message me?”

Anna dramatically threw her arms up into the air like I’d just said something terrible. She was so funny as she shook her head at me and acted as if she knew so much more about men than I did.

“He’s going to call you or send a text. Trust me, darling,” Anna said. “I know men.”

We all busted out laughing at the way Anna was talking. Instead of acting like the 19-year-old that she was, she was acting like an old lady who had years of experience with men, and she was sharing that knowledge with us.

“Okay, I’ll wait it out. But just because you’re so experienced and I trust you,” I joked.

“Thank you. You’ll see. I’m totally right about this.”

For the remainder of the evening, I tried to relax and have fun, but I couldn’t help feeling like things weren’t turning out the way I wanted them to. The sinking feeling in my stomach finally got the better of me, and I decided to leave shortly after Monica left to go home.

“I’m going to head home; do you want to ride with me?” I asked Anna.

“Nope, I’m just getting started. How about we go for a walk later in the week, though? I want to hear more about your weekend.”

“Sure, sounds good.”

“Text me before you respond to Devin, though. When he messages, you don’t just message him back right away. He’s taking over a day to send you a message: you can’t be all eager beaver and trying to message him back right away.”

“Fine. I’ll call you.”

My morning had started out with me feeling on top of the world, but as I climbed into the Uber to head home, I felt crappy. My stomach was turning, and I was second guessing everything that had happened over the weekend. It wasn’t a great feeling, not at all.

When my Uber pulled up to my house, I couldn’t help looking over at Devin’s house to see if he was up. He wasn’t, though. Every light in the house was off. The sinking feeling just continued as I made my way into the house and up to my bedroom.

***

It was Wednesday before Devin finally text me. By that point, I’d given up all hope of talking to him ever again.

DEVIN: Ashley’s initial hearing went poorly. Her lawyer has told her to expect several years for her sentence.

Ugh, the message wasn’t about me at all. It was more like an update on what was going on in his life than anything to do with me. I just rolled my eyes and tucked my phone back in my purse. Anna didn’t have to worry about me hurrying and responding to that message. I wasn’t even sure I was going to send a reply at all.

Nearly ten hours passed, and I was still at work when the next message came through. This one was a little more friendly and more compelling.

DEVIN: Sorry I’ve been so busy. Lots going on with work and a new investment deal. I hope all is well with you. Message me or stop by anytime.

Finally, I smiled as I read his message. It was nearly midnight, though, and I tried to reach Anna to see what she thought of the two texts. She was out partying, though, and I was left to figure it out on my own.

I rode home with one of the girls who lived on my side of the city. She talked and tried to be nice, but all I could think about was what I should send to Devin. Should I wait until the morning? Should I send something right away?

When I got home, I went straight to my room and didn’t look over at Devin’s house at all. I couldn’t risk actually seeing him and having to go talk to him. Instead, I thought about what I could say that wouldn’t sound snotty or rude but also wouldn’t sound like I’d been waiting for him to message me all week. Finally, I decided on what to send him.

LILLI: I’m just getting off work. Sorry our week has been busy. TTYL

I pressed send and then tried to get to sleep as quickly as possible so I wouldn’t be tempted to send him more messages. One was enough. One was all I needed to send. As much as I wanted to talk to him, I had to try and keep the upper hand. Or whatever it was that Anna was always telling me I needed to do.