Chapter 15

 

Julia

 

“I’m so tired of packing boxes,” I groaned as Kendra and I were putting together another box in the kitchen. “Are you sure you don’t want to just keep all this stuff?”

“No, you can’t afford to buy all new kitchen stuff and I’m looking forward to restyling this place after you leave.”

“What? You don’t like my style?”

“I like it just fine, I just want to try something new. Plus, it will be nice to move over to your bedroom. I’ve always wanted the big bedroom here.”

Kendra and I were the best roommates. Even the arguments we had weren’t actual arguments. I couldn’t have imagined sharing an apartment for as long as I had with anyone else.

I was a home owner now. If something went wrong, it was my responsibility to pay for it. That was huge for me. All the changes in my life were good though. I sort of liked the idea that everything was happening at the same time. That meant that when everything was done, then I’d have this whole new life that was super cool.

“Have you gone on that date with Mike yet?” Kendra asked as she lifted a box of cups and brought it to the pile by the door.

“Not yet. We have both been so busy that it’s crazy. I’m actually going later tonight. Well, if no one goes into labor before five o’clock. After that Bruce is going to take call for the rest of the evening.”

“Oh, you call your doctor Bruce now?”

“Just because that’s what Mike always calls him. When I go to the office I still call him Doctor Simon. I’m actually going in for an ultrasound soon. Should get to know the sex of the baby, if I want to. But I haven’t really decided yet. Do you think I should find out?”

Kendra was laughing as I talked, but not because of me, she was looking at a text message on her phone. She had been seeing Devin for a few weeks now and the two of them were really hitting it off. He was an ear, nose, and throat doctor. Not exactly the sort of doctor that I would think of as a sexy profession, but he made good money, had a stable career, and Devin was really into Kendra.

“Sorry, what were you saying?” She said as she looked up and realized I was standing there waiting for her.

“How is Devin?” I laughed.

“He’s so good. I mean really, really good. I like him at dangerous levels.”

“What are dangerous levels?”

“I’m not even looking at dating anyone else. I haven’t responded to other people’s text messages flirting with me at all. I agreed to go out with him both Friday and Saturday nights. Something is wrong, it’s dangerous. I don’t think I’m ready for this level of relationship yet.”

“Kendra, you have to go with the flow. Just see how things turn out. It’s okay to just date one guy at a time. You should have some fun and stop worrying about what things are supposed to look like. Just have fun.”

I was talking to her like I had some expert experience in serious dating, which I absolutely did not. I could be the worst dater in the whole city, or pretty damn close. Now I was pregnant and trying to date; that was silly and I knew it.

The only way I could mentally wrap my brain around going on the double date with Patrick and Devin was to come out and tell Patrick what I was doing. I did my best to push him away and make the whole thing a friendship date that we were going on just to support Kendra and Devin, but Patrick didn’t care at all that I was pregnant.

In fact, a lot of guys had been flirting with me lately, more than usual. Not the normal type of guys like at a bar, I’d been getting hit on at the gym, the coffee shop and even by potential clients from the hotel. I chalked it up to the pregnancy glow and told most of them no, but Patrick ended up being a fun date. Well the first one was, the second one I saw Mike and how pitiful he looked when he saw me out with another guy.

When Mike finally called to schedule a real date with me I was well beyond the stage of needing to keep him as a friend. I clearly had some feelings for him and he had some for me so going on a real date was a good idea. However things turned out from there was up to us. If dating wasn’t our thing we would just have to figure out how to go back to being friends. The truth was, I didn’t have the energy to worry about my relationship with Mike any longer. I had too many other things going on in my life to worry about now.

“I like this new Julia. The super chill, laid back girl who is telling me to relax,” Kendra smiled back at me.

“Yeah, I’m liking the new me too. I can’t believe I was so worried about everything all the time. Clearly I just needed to get knocked up and I’d be able to calm down.”

“Ha, I’d be crazy if I was pregnant. I couldn’t handle that level of responsibility.”

“Yeah, sometimes I’m worried about being a mom. But most of the time I think about how amazing it’s going to be. I’m lucky that I have a good job and good friends like you though. That makes it easier for me to think that I can make it through all of this in one piece.”

“Girl, you are going to make it through this just fine. You are one of the most put together people I know.”

“Thank you, Kendra,” I said as I hugged her and started crying.

“Oh, no, this again?”

“I know, I just can’t help it. I’m going along fine and then suddenly my emotions overwhelm me and I’m sobbing. I guess pregnancy hormones are to blame, right?”

“Probably. So do you know what you’re going to wear on your date tonight? It doesn’t look like you are showing much, are you?”

“Not really. I mean my tight jeans need to be unbuttoned, but other than that I could wear just about anything. I don’t like the tight dresses though, my boobs feel like they have doubled in size and are going to explode out of them.”

“Your girls have gotten bigger. A nice side effect of pregnancy I guess.”

My breasts were busting out of everything I owned. I found myself wearing a sports bra to work just to keep them in check and fit into my shirts that I own. It was one of the after effects of pregnancy that I hadn’t really considered. I didn’t own many shirts for work that fit, even if I wasn’t showing very much, purely because of the level of boobs I had going on.

Kendra and I talked about going shopping for some more clothes but instead I made adjustments where I could for my work outfits. All my casual stuff fit just fine because it was t-shirts and other stretchy materials.

“I don’t know how nice it is, but I suspect Mike won’t mind.”

“How about that sun dress I got when we were in Cancun? I bet it would fit you now with those new jugs of yours.”

“Sure, I’ll give it a try. But it is November; not sure a sun dress is the most appropriate thing to wear,” I said as I looked out at the blustering day.

“We will pair it with some tights and a cardigan. It will be fantastic.”

Kendra went right to work putting together a perfect date outfit for me. I couldn’t have been more grateful. Planning what to wear was so low on my priority list I honestly might have just gone out in the sweatpants and t-shirt that I’d been packing in all day.

After an hour of sorting through both of our closets for the perfect pair of tights to go with the perfect cardigan, we had the outfit. The dress did fit me well, but there was no doubt my breasts were bigger. They could barely be contained by the dress. I sort of liked the new look though.

Even when I was younger I’d imagined getting breast augmentation or hoped that my boobs would get bigger, and now they were. The flowery dress fit me nicely and wasn’t too tight around my belly. Even though I wasn’t really showing yet, I did have a fuller stomach than normal and was really self conscious of it. People would just think I was fat, instead of pregnant at this stage of the game.

“He should be here soon,” I said as I looked at the text from Mike.

“What? No!” Kendra hurried into my bathroom and then motioned for me to get in there too. “Your hair, your make up. Come on, girl. We need to finish you up.”

“He’s seen me without my hair and makeup done plenty of times,” I laughed as she plugged the curling iron in and started working on my face.

“This is your first official date, Julia. Don’t be lazy.” Kendra handed me my makeup pallet so I could do my face while she started working on my hair.

I really had no choice in the matter and did as Kendra ordered. I kept my makeup light but did put on an extra coat of mascara to highlight my eyes. When all was said and done I didn’t look half bad for a woman who was three months pregnant.

“He’s here,” I said and hurried out to the speaker to wait to buzz him in.

“Okay, keep your cool tonight. This is just a date. It’s no big deal. Don’t worry about the happily ever after stuff. Just have fun and be yourself,” Kendra said acting more nervous than I was.

“I’m fine, Kendra. But you look a little nervous.”

“Awww, I want you two to work out so badly. You’re the cutest couple. But I know it might end up with you guys just being friends and I totally get that too. Okay, I’m going to stop talking now,” she pretended to zip her lip as the buzzer sounded and I let Mike into the building.

“I’m just going on a date like any other date between the two of us. I’m relaxed. I don’t know why you’re so worried.”

Kendra just shook her head back and forth and pretended to zip her lip again. She was funny and a great friend too. I knew what she was talking about. The idea of ending up with Mike was obviously crossing my mind too, but I wasn’t focusing on it at all. My expectation was that we were going to go on a date or two and then end up deciding to just be friends.

Having a baby was a huge deal and dating someone who was having a baby was a big deal too. Plus, Mike had some emotions going on about being the donor to my baby and as much as I tried to separate my mind from the Mike in front of me and the Mike who was growing inside me, I couldn’t. I suspected that Mike had a hard time with it as well.

I pulled the door open on the first knock. Expecting to see him standing there in a something casual, instead I was surprise to see he had on a button-up shirt with nice slacks and fancy shoes.

“For you,” he said sweetly and handed me a bouquet of flowers. “I picked them myself… from the flower shop,” he joked. His smile lit up my apartment. It was contagious. The flowers were amazingly beautiful, a perfect combination of yellow, pinks and reds. Not just roses, but a mix of several different flowers that all worked together very nicely.

“Thank you. I’ll put them in some water,” I said as I went toward the kitchen and realized we had packed up most of everything that was in there.

“Give me those. I’ll figure it out. You two go have fun,” Kendra said as she smiled like the Cheshire cat at the two of us.

“You are moving into your new place soon?” Mike asked looking at all the boxes.

“Yep.”

“I could get some of the guys to help you move if you need help.”

“That’s so nice of you,” Kendra said as she stepped in between the two of us. “Isn’t that such a nice thing to offer? I mean moving in New York, wow, that’s a tough thing. You’re a really nice guy, Mike. Don’t you think he’s a nice guy, Julia?”

“Thank you for the offer, but I’ve hired a company to do it for me. You’re more than welcome to help me unpack once I get there though. I am not looking forward to that. And I think we should get going,” I said as I looked wide eyed at Kendra and hoped she wasn’t going to keep pushing with her agenda.

“Have a great night, guys. You look adorable together…” she said as I shut the door on her and hurried Mike down the hallway.

“She likes you,” I said.

Mike held the elevator door open for me and then came in and stood right next to me. His hand grazed against mine and the soft touch of his skin was welcomed so much by my body that I tingled all over.

“I like Kendra. She’s a good friend to you. Seems like a very nice woman. You look amazing tonight. Did I tell you that yet? I was thinking it, but I might not have said it out loud.”

“Thank you. It’s getting a little harder to find things that fit well,” I adjusted the top of my dress and pulled it up to cover my breasts a little more.

“That dress fits you perfectly,” he mischievously smiled as he watched me adjust it.

“I know. They are huge, aren’t they?” I said looking at my own breasts. “It’s like they have a mind of their own.”

“Hello, ladies,” Mike said leaning down and talking to my breasts. “I’m excited to take you girls out tonight.”

“Stop,” I laughed and pushed him playfully away as the elevator opened on the main floor. “They are getting so big and they hurt too.”

“They are just doing their job. Part of the amazing job a woman’s body is capable of,” Mike said as if it was no big deal.

Sometimes I forgot that Mike was so familiar with the pregnancy stuff. He obviously knew more about pregnancy than I did and I really should have been using him more for questions.

It had been nearly a month since we saw each other at the sports club and a month before that since we had argued about the new condo. As Mike held the door open for me and we loaded into the hired car he had waiting, I realized that I definitely missed having him around as a friend.

Once inside the fancy black SUV, Mike moved over so he was sitting next to me in the long bench seat. He gently grabbed my hand and pulled it up to his lips, taking an extra long time kissing the back of it before placing both of our hands in his lap.

“I missed you,” he said softly. “I’m glad we finally got this date scheduled.”

“Yeah, I missed talking to you for sure.”

We sat in silence for a little bit, but it wasn’t that weird sort of silence that happened when people were arguing. Instead, I was wrapped up in how comfortable I felt there with Mike. Even after two months of barely seeing each other, I felt safe and calm sitting with him in that car. My leg was bouncing up and down with a little bit of nerves though and I was doing my best to control it.

Going out with Mike was a big deal. It was a bigger deal than I had let myself understand until I was there in the back of that car with him. This was the real deal. This was our first true effort at seeing if what was between us was more than just friends.

“How do you feel about steak?” Mike asked.

“Oh, my God are we going for steak? I’ve been craving meat so bad lately that I made myself a steak at home the other night.”

“I know,” he smiled back at me. “This is the stage where your body is lacking iron and other nutrients. Are you taking your vitamins?”

“Yeah, of course.”

“Make sure to eat lots of dark green vegetables too,” he added and then quickly flipped back into date mode. “This restaurant is supposed to be really good. I read some reviews online and everyone loves it.”

“Did you have to murder anyone to get a table?”

“Nope, actually Patrick got the table for us,” Mike said only showing a small crack of a smile.

“You told Patrick that we were going on a date and he helped you get a reservation?” I asked, a little surprised that Patrick would put that sort of effort in after I told him I couldn’t see him anymore because my life was too complicated.

“Yep, he likes me,” Mike joked.

“You know I only went on a date with him because Kendra needed a double,” I added.

“And because he’s an awesome dude.”

“Well, there was that,” I laughed. “But I saw you and right away all I wanted to do was be with you that night. I’m glad we figured things out and are going out tonight.”

“Me too,” Mike pulled my hand in even closer to him. “I’ve missed you,” he said again.

There was a true sincerity in Mike’s words that hit me hard. I felt my eyes welling up and the tears forming faster than I could stop them. I looked up and tried to count in an effort to distract myself, but then I felt a soft piece of fabric being placed in my hand.

“What’s this?”

“For the tears,” he said softly as I put the handkerchief up to my eyes.

“You carry a handkerchief around?” I had to laugh a little. “I’m just a little surprised by that.”

“I carry it around when I’m going on a date with a highly hormonal woman who is at the end of her first trimester of pregnancy.”

“Wow, I can see that your level of knowledge about my medical state could get really annoying,” I laughed.

“I’m not trying to be annoying about it. Just sensitive to what you are going through.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” I teased as I finished wiping my tears.

“Thank you for agreeing to go on a date with me. I’m excited to show you a good time tonight,” Mike said thoughtfully.

He held my door open for me and set his hand at the base of my back as he guided me into the restaurant. Mike held my seat out for me and made sure he was sitting next to me instead of across from me for our meal. When the steak came I could hardly hold myself back from eating it up so quickly that I could have choked on it. A little conversation in between bites was about all I could manage as I did my best to feed the growing beast inside of me.

“Did you have an ultrasound with Bruce yet? I don’t think I saw you come in.”

“Just a quick check of the heartbeat with a Doppler thing so far. I’m having the ultra sound in a couple of weeks. Would you like to come?”

“I would.”

“Sure, I’ll let you know when I get back to my calendar. I think it was on a Wednesday, but not sure. I’d love to have you there.”

“Are you going to find out the gender?” Mike asked trying to look casual about the question.

“I’m not sure. I mean I really want to know, but I also like the idea of it being a surprise. The problem is that I want to buy nursery items and I don’t want everything to be yellow. I don’t really like yellow at all.”

“I’m sure you’ll come to a decision that is right for you,” Mike said and then shoved a piece of meat in his mouth as if he was trying not to say anything more.

“Do you think I should find out?” I asked as I ate my steak too.

“It’s your pregnancy. I don’t want to intrude with my ideas. This is your thing. You do whatever you feel is going to work for you.”

“That’s a very politically correct answer,” I put my fork down and leaned in. “What would you do if you and I were together? If this baby had come naturally and you felt like you were an actual partner in this decision. What would you say then?”

“I’d say that this is one of the last true surprises out there and you could always decorate the nursery after the baby is born. The baby won’t be in there at first anyways. You’ll have them in your room in a bassinet next to your bed. But that’s just my opinion and I know that doesn’t matter in this situation.”

“Shit! I have to get a bassinet too?” I said and put my fork down as I rolled my eyes. “I swear I’m going to be the most unprepared mother in the world.”

“No,” he laughed. “You would have figured it out after the first night of having your baby in the other room and realizing you didn’t want to be that far away from them. Trust me, mother nature has a way of helping moms figure out what they need.”

“I do like the idea of not finding out the gender. I’m a bit of a planner though so it’s hard to imagine waiting until after the baby is born to do all the nursery stuff.”

We sat and ate quietly for a few moments and then Mike glanced at his watch and looked a little panicked. He motioned for the waiter to bring the check and then downed the rest of his glass of wine as he nervously waited for me to finish eating.

I was waiting for him to tell me where we were going or why it was so urgent that we hurry up, but he never rushed me. He sat there quietly watching me finish my meal. When I finally managed to wrangle the last bite of my steak into my mouth Mike threw his napkin on the table and came around to pull my chair out.

“Where are we going in such a hurry?” I laughed.

“The show is starting in twenty minutes. I guess I timed the date a little poorly.”

“We are going to a show?” I said as I started to tear up again. “I haven’t been to a show in ages.”

He handed me his handkerchief again and we rushed out to the waiting black SUV. After helping me into the vehicle, this time Mike just slid in next to me and moved me into the middle seat.

“Need to get to the Booth Theatre as soon as possible,” Mike told the driver.

“Yes, sir,” the driver responded.

“Man I hope we aren’t late. They won’t let us in. The Booth Theatre is a stickler on showing up on time. We’d have to wait until intermission and then we would have missed the whole first half of the show.”

“It’s okay,” I replied and grabbed Mike’s hand. “We will make it.”

Sure enough we did make it. We were probably one of the last people to get through the doors before they shut them, but we quickly shuffled into our seats just as the lights went down and the show started.

Seeing a Broadway show seems like something we New Yorkers would do all the time. Before moving to the city I imagined that I’d spend every weekend at the theater. But life didn’t turn out like that. I often had a full day of plans on Saturdays and Sundays and never put aside the time to go to the theater. That was why going with Mike was even more special.

We sat holding hands throughout the first act and both were mesmerized by the performers. One was a highly known movie actor who was doing a short stint on Broadway. I always assumed those actors just did theater as a way of boosting their name a little, but this guy truly was good. He was fantastic on stage. So good that I forgot all about the last action flick that I’d seen him in and only saw him as portraying the character he was in the play.

“This was a great idea,” I whispered to Mike at intermission. “I’m so glad we came.”

“I thought you might enjoy it. It doesn’t hurt that the actor is shirtless the whole show either,” he teased.

“I hardly noticed because his acting is so fantastic.”

Mike just laughed as he guided me up to the lobby and we grabbed something to drink while we talked for a few minutes. I absolutely loved being at the theater and being around other people who enjoyed going to the shows.

“I wish I came to the theater more often. I feel like a bad New Yorker,” Mike said.

“Me too! I was just thinking that. It is always what people ask me to do when they come visit and I think that is the only time I go. It is a waste to not come more often.”

“I’ll take you anytime you’d like,” he said and pulled me in close to him.

I liked being there in his arms. We leaned against the wall and he kept one arm around me as we sipped our drinks and enjoyed a few moments together. I was so calm there with him. It wasn’t at all like a first date. I didn’t feel the need to constantly be flirting with him or pretending he was funny; I was just myself and that was relaxing.

Mike smelled like a combination of cologne and bacon. I thought I’d smelled it before when he picked me up but I dismissed my senses as being disrupted because of my pregnancy, but as we stood there I could definitely smell bacon.

“Did you cook bacon today?” I said as I leaned in and took a big whiff of his shirt.

“Are you smelling me?” he laughed.

“You smell like bacon. I’m pretty sure it’s bacon. Did you could bacon?”

Mike was laughing at me as he sipped his drink and didn’t answer me. I was much more sensitive to smells now and I was sure that he smelled like bacon. That was just weird. Not that I minded. I’d been eating way too much bacon lately and been a little addicted to it. I ended up eating two pieces before bed almost every night. It wasn’t the healthiest, but I just couldn’t stop.

“I did cook some bacon recently,” Mike said as he dramatically pulled out a baggie with two pieces of bacon in it.

“Why do you have bacon?” I said and grabbed it from him.

Something had come over me. I didn’t care how old that bacon was. I’d smelled a scent of it all night long and couldn’t wait to have a taste of it. But it was still really weird that Mike was carrying around bacon.

“I thought you might like a fun snack during the show.”

“How did you know?” I said as I hurried and ate the two pieces he had for me.

“I asked Kendra what you were snacking on lately,” he said with a boyish grin.

“You made bacon, carried it around all night, just to give it to me at intermission?” I asked as I looked at him in total awe. “You are the best friend a woman could ever ask for,” I said dramatically.

“Could we cool it with the best friend talk?” Mike teased.

“Sure,” I had to laugh a little at his expression. I knew he was trying to get out of that dreaded friend zone.

After the show, Mike walked me up to my apartment and used my keys to open the door for me. It had been the best date I’d had in a very long time. And although it wasn’t technically our first date, it felt more like our first real date.

“Did you want to come in?” I offered as I wrapped my arms around his neck. “I’ve missed you.”

My hormones were going crazy as I practically threw myself at Mike. But to my surprise he didn’t agree to my offer.

“I had an amazing night, Julia,” he leaned in and softly kissed my lips. The sweet taste of his tongue jetting into my mouth only briefly before retreating again. “I can’t wait to take you out again very soon.”

He pulled my hand up to his lips and kissed the back of it like he had done earlier. I couldn’t help but jump back into his arms for one last kiss before heading in for the night. I made it a quick one and then opened my door and stood in the doorway.

“Thank you for a great night, Mike. I can’t wait to see you again,” I said as I closed the door.

“Goodnight, Julia,” he said from the other side.

I bounced up and down with excitement as I turned and watched him leave through the peep hole in my door. Things were changing between us, a glorious change that I was so excited for.