I giggle madly as Nate carries me on his shoulder, having just shoved the hotel room door open.

“Oh God, I drank so much I can barely walk!” I laugh out loud. Let me down before I really embarrass myself.”

He obliges and sets me gently down on the floor, and down I go, crashing to the couch. “Oh Nate…I never knew you could sing like that…so utterly bad.”

We both take turns guffawing. Nate is definitely a talented man on the field but when it comes to singing—he’s the first one to admit he sucks. And he gloriously embarrassed himself in front of me, singing at a karaoke club until the crowd booed him off the stage!

“I had to prove to you that you were the superior talent! Now there’s no question.”

"Yeah, but I can't throw like you can. And I'm not the MVP guy, Mister Super Bowl ring."

"Yeah, but I'd trade my ring for a night in heaven."

“You’re so bad!” I say, throwing the couch pillow at him before breaking down and laughing. “Come here,” I say with an inviting smile.

"Uh uh, I know a feral cougar when I see one," he says before we both burst into laughter.

"I say, young man, I believe you're treating me to this date. So I want you to come here and sit your ass down and let me exploit you."

“No way,” he says strongly, but still simpering. “I meant what I said. I’m not going to ruin everything we have with some tail again.”

“Oh don’t be such a pussy!” I laugh.

“I’m serious! The last thing I need is for someone I care about thinking I took advantage of her when we were both drinking our asses off.”

“Well if we were both drinking, what’s the big deal?”

“I’m just saying sometimes women regret what they do when they’re full of wine. But I don’t want any regrets.”

“And neither do I,” I say, a little annoyed at his show of chivalry. I guess I should be honored that he thinks so much of me that he wouldn’t try to score just because it’s an easy touchdown. But all I can think of about is this stubborn idea that he’s backing away. He’s finding a goddamn reason to stay back 50 yards away from the predator. Give me a break, Nate! I’m not every other woman, am I?

“The truth is…” I say, meeting his eyes and giving him a good scowl. “I could only say this when I’m drunk. And if you wait until I’m sober, I’m going to fucking deny everything tomorrow morning.”

“Go ahead,” he laughs. “I have a good memory.”

“The truth is I’m terrified,” I say, quickly losing my goofy smile and going straight. “This first time I met you, the first time you wanted to buy my father’s company. The first time we had sex. Even when I told you to get away from me…all I could think of was how I’m just going to screw this friendship up. Like I always do. Because you’re just too good to be true, Nate. I’m still waiting for the real asshole to come forth. You’re too good…you’re too…perfect. I don’t believe it.”

He looks at me and closes his eyes in amusement. “Because it’s me? Or because you stopped believing in IT?”

“I don’t know…just prove to me that I’m right. Take advantage of me and fuck me while I’m full of liquor. Show me your true colors, asshole.”

“Goodnight, Amanda,” he says patting my head and ignoring my scowl. “Talk to you tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow will be too late!” I scream back at him in spite.

“Tomorrow will be too late…” he sings. So badly. “It’s now or never my love can’t wait.”

“Fuck you, asshole. I knew you were an asshole…”

Oh, Jesus, I am so tired…maybe I ought to just rest my head for a few minutes.

“Wake up, you foolish man,” I say kissing Nate on the navel, waking him up gently.

He opens his eyes and smiles, not quite awake but loving the feeling of a new day.

“Do my eyes deceive me or is that superstar Amanda Shannon in bed with me?”

“You’re too nice of a guy. Why didn’t you take me last night?” I say, kissing his chest with my lips and staring hungrily into his eyes.

“Because you fell asleep on the damned couch. If I had gone for it I’d have a terrible case of blue balls.”

“Yeah right. You’re just a nice guy pussy, Nate. I know.”

“No, I’m a nice guy who eats pussy is the correct way to say it.”

We both cackle and then kiss each other good morning.

“Why are you awake so early anyway after all that partying?” he says, running his hands through my hair, as I peck his neck and show him the desire I still feel, even ten hours removed from the now or never moment.

“Took an Alka Seltzer. Ate breakfast. Slept in.”

“What time is it?” he says in confusion.”

“It’s two PM, you bum!”

“Ohhhh…” he says in surprise. “That explains a lot. Did you really mean what you said last night?”

“What do you think?” I say, kissing him on the lips. “Do I seem like a woman who’s satisfied? Do I feel like a woman who’s had enough?”

He kisses me back and pushes me down to the bed, laying his body on top of mine. He runs his tender lips all over my neck and shoulders, sampling my taste, yearning for more. He lifts my white t-shirt over my head and embraces my warm center, kissing my breasts tenderly. He unhooks my black bra from behind and pulls it off, exposing my hard nipples.

I sigh softly as he sucks on my tits, one after the other, rubbing his chin and his strong jaw all over my chest. God, I want him so bad. I keep thinking about the first time we fucked. The first time I came with him. I want that again. I want to give him everything.

I’m already breathing hard, as I grab my panty string, eager to rip it all off so I can fuck him. Fuck him hard like he deserves. Like he’s been wanting to do…but resisting because he’s waiting just for me.

I grab his penis, wanting so badly to feel his cock grow in my hand. Wanting to touch him and feel every shiver—to feel his cock lengthen and his body tense. I reach down and kiss him again, right before pulling his shirt off over his head—oh yeahhh getting a full rub down of his bulging muscles.

I lick his chest with greed, pinch his nipples in lust. I can’t taste him deeply enough, I want to bathe him in my spittle. I kiss him again, our heads turning so fast, so violently—engorged, enflamed and inextinguishable.

He kisses my neck as he squeezes my tits so boldly—taking me like he wants me. He doesn’t want to be gentle—he wants to fuck! That’s the way I want him.

I roll his underwear off from his ankles and feet and eye his big cock in expectation. I want to ride him until he screams for mercy. This is his reward and punishment—for being so horny for me, to want me so much, beyond all reason.

I groan out loud, already steaming wet from the excitement. I feel his cock turn rigid, as I push myself lower and feel every inch. My walls tense up and give him a tight pussy squeeze, which makes him groan against his will. He can try all he wants but today I'm going to win. I'm going to fuck him so hard he's going to break. He's going to embarrass himself, beg for mercy and cum so deep inside of me!

Yeah, let me ride that cock…

“Fuck me,” I whisper into his ear. “Fuck me while I ride you. Like you’ve been waiting for.”

“Damn woman,” he says with a smile. “You’re hornier now than when you were tripping last night.”

I laugh wickedly as I start wrenching his cock back and forth, taking him for the ride of his life. I want to show him I’m the best. That I can make him scream like no one else. That I want him more than all his other floozies and groupies. Only I have the key to his heart.

Not good enough! I ride him faster, daring him to scream, balancing myself on his shoulders and grinding like I'm on a dance floor. He grunts and groans, quickly losing control but trying to flex his way to more staying power. But he won't win. He's tired, just barely awake and not in the ideal position. I'm pulverizing his cock, the fastest I've ever moved! He can't resist. I won't let him win. I want him to cum so hard he screams like a bitch. Come on Nate, fuck me!

“Fuck me! Come on Nate. Let me feel your cum.”

“Uh uh,” he replies, shaking his head. “I don’t cum till you cum first.”

“Says you, asshole,” I reply, pounding his wet dick even harder. He definitely feels the tighter squeeze and looks up helplessly at the ceiling. Can his ego take it? Being the first to cum?

“Yeah…you like that?” I taunt him, slapping him lightly in the face. “Give me your cum. Come on…fill me up. Like you wanted to do that first time you saw me, huh?”

“Uhn uhn,” he moans, shaking and bobbing his head and pushing his arms behind his body to brace himself.

But I shove my tits in his face, knowing my nipples make him weak. Break goddamn you! Cum inside of me. I need to feel you lose control. I need to win. I need to feel…mmm…powerful.

“You can’t resist me,” I say to him, looking straight into his eyes and soul. “You can’t.”

“Just…watch…me…” he mumbles, trying to suppress all his urges.

Suddenly, he grabs my ass and throws me backward on the bed.

“No, no!” I say with an evil laugh. “You cum first. Cum inside…”

“Not yet,” he says, stubborn bastard that he always is! He rolls me over on my tummy, against my will. He lifts me up by my thighs and puts his hand on my throbbing, hot pussy. He slips his fingers in and peddles upward, finding my swelling clit.

“Ahhh!” I cry out, unable to protest, losing all control over my squirming body the moment he touches that sweet spot.

“Now you’re going to take my cock while I make you cum. I’m going to pound you so hard you’re going to cum all over my cock. How do you like that?”

I unleash a ghastly scream as he shoves his hard cock back inside me, this time pounding my pussy while he fingers my clit. I can’t even get away…his other hand holds my breasts firmly, making damn sure I take every last fuck as hard as he gives it.

My body quivers and my breath leaves me. My clit is throbbing and my nerves seem to be frozen in shock. All I can feel is my rising orgasm…perfectly controlled not by my spasming body, but by his little maestro fingers.

He massages my clit with his index and middle fingers, rotating my clit to the same steady pattern as he thrusts his dick in deep. My tummy and breasts vibrate against his hand and arm. My pussy is so wet I’m drenching his cock, just like he said.

Oh, Jesus, he's going to make me cum. Cum against my will…the best way to lose all control. He's riding my ass so hard—and like a fucking animal, a fucking pig, he slaps my ass hard getting me to scream even louder for him.

“OH FUCK YEAH!” I scream, squirting all over his hard cock—cumming first and louder like I always do…

“Come on! Gimme more! Gimme more!”

“Ohhh shit!” I moan as he fingers me harder and faster, his big shaft still going strong and in the favorable position. All I can do is worship his meat—my pussy squirts again, cumming all over his cock like he commanded. Like my sex god wants. My body is just a tool, just a fucking toy to him.

“Yeaaaah!” I say, right in the throes of orgasm. “Fuck me!”

“Gimme more. Fucking cum on my cock you bitch!”

“Yeeeaa!” I whine, my voice breaking as my pussy contracts and orgasms again, just as my clit goes numb. I scream with all my might as he grabs me by the hair and roughs me up, making sure my pussy takes his big load of spunk.

“Ohhh God cum in me! Please cum in me!”

“Say you want it!”

“Ohhh fuck gimme it to me!” I say, just as he falls down on the bed and takes me back with him. We land on his back but his cock is still deep in my cunt, ready to shoot that canon.

“Ohhhh fuck yes! YES YES!” I scream as his sperm fires upon me and leaves me panting like a bitch, like his little love slave. My body convulses and my insides tingle all over, injected with wonderful love drugs.

We scream into the air, our bodies so close, so connected as we roll over the bed—our arms and legs intertwined. I still feel his semen shooting inside me, so much volume, so much cum overpowering my senses. God, I hope I get pregnant. Shit…I want him so bad. I want to have his baby. I love him…

Oh God, I love him. I’m in love. But don’t you dare say it, Amanda. Don’t you fucking dare say it!

“Ohhhh my God!” I cry, my body shivering and tears streaming down my face. I didn’t think it was possible to cum so hard that I cry. But he did it. The bastard did it.

And now all I have left is love…inconvenient, scary love. I avoid his eyes. At all cost, I avoid him directly. But my body clings to his, refusing to let go of the moment.

Two hours removed from the best orgasm of my life, I’m still clinging to his body heat. Even after we napped, I still held him close and sniffed his aura, wanting to take him all in. We kissed and hugged, made love with our eyes. Caressed each other’s skin and whispered nothing…right before mutually falling asleep in a big juicy nap. God, I love this day. I can’t imagine the future will be any better. This has to be as good as it gets.

As if reading my mind he touches my heart…while literally fondling my breast and finding my heart pulse. “There’s your heartbeat,” he says in a deep and romantic voice. “Why are you so tense? Because some asshole like me once broke your heart?”

Before I can even weep at the thought silently, he firmly takes my head into his hand. “That’s not me. I want to be here. I’m not going anywhere.”

“I’m glad,” I say, managing to control myself and not melt into jitters and begging. No talk of love. No talk of the future. Just be…just let go of that neediness.

“I guess it’s just my baggage,” I reply, squeezing his forearm, wanting him closer. “My last boyfriend gets too much credit, I know. I give him too much power. He was emotionally abusive and narcissistic. I know that logically. And logically I know that it was a mistake that I made and a situation I put myself in. But emotionally, I can’t forgive or forget. I keep thinking it was something I did. Something I just missed.”

“Well if I ever see that motherfucker, I’ll punch his lights out, that’s a promise.”

“No,” I laugh. “It’s behind me now. He’s long gone. And I’m learning, day by day, how to forgive myself. I know it sounds silly to you. I don’t imagine anyone could ever have that kind of destructive power over you.”

“Well not before today,” he says, kissing my neck tenderly. So good…so good that I close my eyes and dream of a future, that can’t possibly happen. One where Nate and I end up together. And the past really stays in the past.

You know it’s going to be a good morning when before you even close the door behind you and enter your office, your sister comes bearing news via iPhone and social media.

“You’ve got to hear this!” Jan says.

“What?” I say with bugging eyes, halfway expecting some stupid cat video—that would be Jan’s style.

And instead…of course…

“Once again NFL quarterback Nate Jiggur has been arrested…”

“What the fuck!” I blurt out, right in front of my whole family. I try not to swear in front of my father but…

“What the fuck!”

“Listen!” Jan says.

“Nate was arrested early this morning after an altercation involving the neighbor of a friend Jiggur was romantically linked with.”

"Oh, Jesus…Scott?" I recognize the picture of Scott Reynolds, my friend and neighbor. I can't believe Nate attacked him! What the hell did I miss between a day of making love and a morning of hellfire?!

“I have to go. I have to go kick Nate’s ass,” I say bitterly as I kick the door open and welcome a predictably bad day. Should have known shit only gets worse after the first good date!

I can’t help myself—I reach out and slap Nate across the face, like the psycho I feel like I am. I feel betrayed. I feel used and lied to…and what the fuck was he thinking anyway?!

Nate was released on bail earlier today but it took me a two-hour drive just to meet him back in Granbury at the police station to discuss his monumental stupidity. And now I'm here and I just feel like smacking him repeatedly.

“I guess I deserve that.”

“Asshole! How?! Just answer me how, Nate!”

“I came looking for you. You gave me your home address. I thought I had privileges. I wanted to surprise you with breakfast.”

“Right…” I screech back. “And what part of the fucking puzzle are we missing? How do you go from ‘Hey, nice to meet you’ to ‘Eat floor, bitch?’ I mean…how badly is Scott hurt?”

“Who gives a fuck?” Nate says in rage. “He got what he deserved.”

“What he deserved? What did Scott say to you?”

“Enough.”

“Words, Nate. They’re just words.”

“Not always. Sometimes karma’s a bitch. You treat a girl like shit and shit’s going to happen to you!”

“Have you even met Scott? He’s more of a gentleman than you’ll ever be!”

"Oh right," Nate says with a vicious laugh. "Yeah, still in love with your abusive ex. Looks like I just stepped into a pile of mama drama bullshit."

“My ex? What are you talking about? I…I told you that in confidence! How dare you.”

“How dare you! I was fighting for your honor.”

“What did Scott say to you?”

“You know what? It doesn’t matter,” Nate says, imploding inside and seeing red. “If you want that piece of shit so bad, you can go have him. Jesus, Amanda. I knew things would eventually fall it pieces but I didn’t think you’d stab me in the back within one day.”

“Listen you moron! I am not involved with Scott. At all! Whatever your delusional mind imagined is wrong. And god’s sakes, even if I was, what kind of a man just goes over and beats someone up for talking to his girl?”

My eyebrows furl and my while face tenses up.

“No, Nate, you know what? I’ll tell you who does something like this. My ex. That’s exactly who would do something like this. And you just did the same thing.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Nate grumbles. “You’re not making any sense.”

"NO, YOU are not making sense. God Nate…"

I finally break down crying—forgetting for a minute who I see in front of me. My ex or Nate. My past or my future. My sanity or my madness.

My tears give Nate pause and he listens. I can’t help but fly into a rage.

“I don’t care what Scott did or what my ex did. Or any of it. Just stop for a minute and ask yourself…why don’t you understand how humiliating this is for me? I had to go through hell when I was with that man. I went through hell! I suffered all of his abuse for a reason. So one day I would wise up and realize, NO, I don’t deserve this. I won’t be treated this way! This whole shit of a relationship that I wasted on that man was not about him, it was about my pain! My lesson to learn! I was not rescued by anyone, Nate, except myself! I saved me by leaving Rory’s ass. And it was after he pulled shit just like you did.”

Finally, Nate speaks up. "Who the hell is Rory? I thought we were talking about Scott?"

I stare at him in confusion, then disbelief. “You thought Scott was my ex?”

“He’s not?”

“Does Scott even look like a football player?!”

Nate thinks about it…and feels stupid. Good!

“God…I don’t even care. Nate. Don’t bother explaining yourself. I can’t believe…all that we had together, all that we shared…it was all just a game to you.”

“NO, it wasn’t.”

“Yes, yes it was. Because I know in your mind you probably think you’re a hero. But what you did, regardless of why you did it, just proves the problem. All you understand is how to make everything about you and about your winning. You had to be a big man and save me. You couldn’t accept the fact that I already saved myself.”

“I thought he was your ex-boyfriend.”

“Yeah…no shit. And now you put some guy in the hospital because you did something stupid. Way to go.” I shake my head and give him one last look of contempt. “I decided a long time ago, I’m not going to make the mistake again of getting involved with someone else like that. Someone who loves himself more than he loves me. You’re a great guy, Nate. You probably are. But with you, it’s like you’re not really a character on TV. The nice guy off TV is the act. You really are just a vain asshole as seen on TV.”

I barely see Nate staring at me as I storm away. God, why do I always chase after the same guy…each and every relationship…it never ends. I just always want the bad boy. And I pay for it with every second of an aching heart.

I wake Scott up with a gentle tap. I stand over him as he rests in a hospital bed. He doesn’t look bloodied or broken, just bruised. Amazingly, Scott is still in one piece, despite Nate being over twice his size.

“Hey,” Scott says excitedly.

“How are you?”

“Well…last thing I remember was Nate shoulder ramming me and then falling on the floor.”

“I am so sorry,” I mutter. “He is such an idiot. I really can’t blame you if you want to press charges. The stupidity of some men never ceases to amaze me.”

“Well…it was sort of a misunderstanding.”

"I mean, what did he tell you? From what I gathered, he seems to think that you're my ex!" I crack up laughing, hiding my despair. "I sure can pick them, right? You'd think if he talked to you for thirty seconds he'd realize you're nothing like Rory."

“Ah. True. In fact…I should probably confess something right about now.”

“What?” I reply in concern.

“Umm…well it’s a bit awkward to say. But I sort of told him that I was…your ex.”

Scott laughs hard and accidentally hurts his chest. “Owww…can’t laugh. Body too sore…”

“Say what? What are you saying, Scott?”

"I sort of told Jiggur I was your ex-boyfriend."

I smack Scott on his sore arm.

“OW!”

“You told Nate, a musclehead idiot that you were my abusive ex-boyfriend? Why the fuck?!”

“Well…” Scott says with a wormy smile, “not necessarily in that negative context.”

“I think you better explain, Scott, unless you want your ass kicked twice today.”

“Because Amanda…I’m in love with you.”

My face drops. “What?”

“I’ve always been in love with you. Since we were kids. Since we first met all those years ago as neighbors. I’m in love with you! Owww…hurts to say things loud.”

“Scott…where the heck is this coming from? And why in the world did you lie to Nate?”

"I don't know," Scott says sadly. "Because I was all out of ideas, Amanda. It's pretty damned obvious you don't know I'm alive. You don't feel anything for me. So I felt like…I dunno, I wanted to feel a connection to you. So I imagined myself as your ex…just for a second. Just to feel what it would be like. So I told Jiggur that you were my ex. Hoping to…I don't know. Steal you away from him, sort of. And then uh…well, Jiggur sort of got upset. And then I woke up in the hospital. Funny how life turns out. HAHAH—owwww."

“Scott…” I shake my head in pity. Jesus Christ, what a mess. Two brats posing as men. Both in love, neither one with the slightest idea of how to communicate like normal fucking human beings.

“Please…Amanda…spare me the friend-zone speech. I know. I know! I know I screwed up. I screwed up a long time ago…by not telling you then that I loved you. Now it’s this stupid, awkward thing. And I know I don’t have a snowball’s chance in hell.”

I shake my head, staring at him. Not having the damndest clue what to say.

“Just tell Jiggur I’m sorry,” Scott says apologetically. I’m not going to press charges. It was my fault anyway. It was a stupid thing to do. Immature, desperate. Creative though, you got to give me that.”

“God damn it, Scott. I’m not going to let you ruin our friendship this way, okay?”

“Okay…” he grumbles.

“You just sit there and think about what you did. Soon you’re going to realize how idiotic it was to pretend to be the guy who ruined my life. Okay? You’re not him, Scott, nothing like him.”

"I know. And that abusive asshole is the one who won your heart, right? But never a guy like me. Never a nice guy, guys like us…never even a chance. I know how it goes."

I look at Scott in lip-wrinkling angst. So much to say to him. Feel like smacking him repeatedly on his sore shoulder! Instead, I’ll just leave him with this.

“I know you’re upset right now. Let me just say this. That girl who fell for Rory all those years ago is dead. Mmmkay? God rest her soul. I hated that weak girl. I hated everything about her. You’re not just too good to be my ex, Scott. You’re too good to have wanted that old me. There was nothing about her worth wanting. You deserve someone better.”

“I wanted the You of today…”

“Yeah well…” I say in shame, “Nothing that great about her either.”