CHAPTER TWELVE
Gray
I found myself humming again as I took Maggie outside to do her business. The storm had stopped the day before, leaving nearly four feet of the white stuff piled in its wake. Looking up at the sky, blue could be seen between sections of clouds, indicating the end of this mess.
No. Not this mess. This gift. This blizzard had turned into a gift of epic proportions. I couldn’t believe that four days had already passed.
After covering up her mess, Maggie became a puppy again, jumping and bounding through the snow, snapping at the snowballs I tossed at her. I hadn’t been giving her the attention she deserved the past few days, instead focusing on how often I could make Zoe come. I’d lost count. I just knew I wasn’t finished yet.
Behind me, the door opened and Zoe appeared, the kitten at her side. In addition to something changing inside me, the little fluffball had also changed. He still acted bipolar, but he was calming down. Well, so I thought. As I watched, a gust of wind hit, and the kitten turned into a Tasmanian devil, whipping around in rapid circles before darting back into the house.
Zoe laughed and closed the door before stepping farther onto the porch. Damn, she looked good. I’d turned on the generator long enough for her to wash her clothes, and I was glad we’d made the effort. Those jeans looked made for her, and I remembered slipping them off her body the night of the accident. Her sweater was clean too, but her hat couldn’t be saved. She wore one of mine instead, one of my scarves around her neck. With her cheeks growing pink from the cold, she looked adorable. And when she smiled, I was certain I could look up and find that a rainbow had appeared.
Unbidden, I thought back to Jessica and those first few days of knowing her. Of the rightness I felt when she was close. I’d been floating, like being in love had caused me to be weightless, allowing me to explore the previously unknown territories of the universe.
When I lost that love, it was like the bubble around me broke, and I reentered Earth’s atmosphere at meteoric speed. At the time, I’d hoped I’d burn to death, break apart under the pressure of that reentry.
I didn’t. And that pissed me off just as much. How could I continue to breathe in and out when my wife, my child, couldn’t?
When I’d walked back into my house that fateful Halloween night to find that man standing over her still body, I’d gone crazy. Even while staring down the barrel of his gun, I charged him, rage fueling my every move.
Bam.
I hadn’t felt the bullet enter my shoulder. Hadn’t felt my fists turn raw as they battered into his face over and over. Hadn’t felt the police pulling me off him as paramedics tried to save my wife.
It was another thing I hated about myself. While I was busy beating the man to death, she had slipped from this world and into another… and I hadn’t been there. Hadn’t noticed.
In front of me, the EMS team had cut the baby out, hoping at least one could be saved. My daughter had looked like a doll when they sadly handed her to me. My psyche had fractured under the weight of her six-pound, four-ounce lifeless form.
The neighbor who had called for help had been the one to take her from my arms. The sweet little old lady stayed with me at the hospital while my shoulder was tended. She’d cooked me soup and forced me to eat it. She tore up the check I wrote her the day before I left New York. I still sent her money, but I didn’t know if she ever spent it. I hoped so.
Splat!
Icey cold spread across my face, then giggles filled my ears. I blinked away the snow to find Zoe with her hands over her mouth, her shoulders shaking uncontrollably.
“I’m sorry.” She didn’t sound sorry at all. “I was aiming for your chest.”
I bent and picked up a handful of snow of my own. Her eyes grew big, her hands in front of her, as if she could stop what was coming. “I still have a concussion,” she yelled through her laughter.
She did, but her pupils were now normal, her balance steady, her head not aching as much. When I continued to calmly add snow to my growing ball, she took off running, but not onto the safety of the porch. Instead, she chose the trail I’d dug out to the garage. Mistake.
Snow exploded off her back, and she turned, still laughing as she scooped up another handful. Losing her balance, she fell sideways and completely disappeared into a mountain of snow.
Laughing, I ran to her, pulling her out, then got another face full of snow for my effort, followed by her hot mouth on mine. “Can I make a snowman?” she asked against my lips, her teeth chattering. “I’ve never played in the snow before.”
Brushing the ice from her face, I knew I’d help her build a hundred snowmen. A thousand. I’d do whatever she wanted.
As we worked, the snowman grew to epic proportions, easily eight feet tall. I lifted Zoe onto my shoulders so she could place the rocks for the eyes and mouth, a stick for the nose. Then she unwrapped my scarf from around her neck and gave him the finishing touch.
“The abominable snowman,” I said, and she laughed as she climbed down me, kissing the tip of my nose before landing on her feet. She winced and grabbed my arm, her head still hurting, her balance still off. But she was fighting it like the trooper she was.
“Too bad I can’t find anything to make him a beard.”
I scruffed mine against her face, causing her to giggle. I loved the sound and did it again. “I could shave mine off, and you can use it for your masterpiece.”
She looked appalled. “Don’t you dare. I’d be so mad.”
Pulling her against my chest, I looked down into those lovely green eyes. “You just like the way it feels between your legs while I lick you, bite your clit.”
She blushed, the tip of her nose turning even pinker. “Actually, I don’t remember if I like that or not.”
I grinned and cupped her ass in my hands, pulling her even tighter against me. “You don’t? Then maybe I should remind you.”
Her eyes fell to my lips, and the atmosphere changed around us as she stroked my face with her cold fingers. “Maybe you should. I want to remember everything with crystal clarity.”
The way she said it made me think that she was talking about our time together as if it was in the past. Overhead, the sun burst through a section of clouds, shining its light down onto the truth.
No matter how much I wished for time to stand still, I knew it wouldn’t. Knew the snow would melt. Knew that she would leave and go on with her life, just as I knew my life would stay here.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, sensing the shift in my mood.
“The truth is…” I cleared my throat. “I wish the snow would never melt.”
She looked up at the sun, closing her eyes against its warmth. “The truth is, I hope it does.” My heart shriveled in my chest, and I knew the ache was apparent on my face because when she opened her eyes, she took my face in both her hands. “Gray, I hope it melts because I want to know what springtime is like right here. I want to know what summer is like too. I want to see the leaves turn red and gold. I want to witness all that… with you.”
Such pretty words, woven together like the novelist she was. They pulled me into her world, making me believe they were true.
“Is that what you really want?”
Her eyes never left mine. “Yes.”
I looked around me, at the solitude I’d surrounded myself with. “You deserve better. You deserve to see the world, Zoe. Wouldn’t you want to travel to the places where your novels take place? Step into that world yourself?”
She smiled. “Yes. I would love to do that. Are you saying you wouldn’t want to come with me?” I hesitated, and she read the hesitation wrong, the smile fading. “I mean, if you want to. I’m starting to make some steady money from the books. It’s not enough yet to be fancy or fly us first class or anything, but I can write more.” She was talking quickly now. “You know. If I could publish the books faster, I could make more money. Maybe—”
I pressed my fingers to her lips. She didn’t know. She didn’t know how much money I made every day. She had no idea that I made more in an hour than most people made in a year. She was trying to figure out how to support us financially. It made me care for her even more.
Her teeth were starting to chatter, and I pulled her into my arms. “Money isn’t an issue, Zoe. We could travel to a new city every day and it wouldn’t make a dent.”
She searched my face. “So, virus protection is lucrative, huh?”
I laughed and pulled her up until our mouths connected. “Very. Let’s just say you won’t have to do mommy-daughter porn to pay for a meal.” She scowled and bit the very tip of my nose. “Ouch.”
She was playing, but I could sense something else beneath the surface. “What’s wrong?”
Zoe looked up at the sky again just as the sun went behind another cloud. “When we’re in the real world again, don’t you think you might find it, um, embarrassing to be seen with me? What if your friends or people you work for find out you’re dating a porn queen’s daughter?”
This conversation was about to get deep, and her teeth were chattering too hard for us to have it out here. I called for Maggie, who popped up from a blanket of snow, her dark head a strong contrast to the white. “Let’s go, girl.”
Mags leaped, appearing and disappearing as she made her way over to us, a stick in her mouth.
Zoe chewed on her bottom lip as we stomped off our boots and stepped inside the warmth of the cabin. Shedding her wet boots and hat, she turned to face the fire. “You don’t have to answer the question about being embarrassed. I already know the answer. I’ve lived it my entire life.”
Grabbing her by the back of her sweater, I pulled her against me. “I hadn’t planned on telling you my answer. I want to show you how I feel about being with you.” And with a yank, the sweater was over her head.
The little mewling sounds she made as my hand trailed up her ribs to cup her breast were precious. The little whimpers. The little gasps for air.
“I care for you, Zoe. A crazy amount in the little time we’ve known each other.”
Fisting her hair in my other hand, I pulled her head back and trailed my tongue down her neck, tasting the salt lingering on her skin. When I traced the shell of her ear, goosebumps broke out on her flesh.
Her mouth clashed with mine, our tongues at war as they attempted to take siege of the other before releasing to pet and stroke. Her mouth was pure sin as I devoured her lips and tongue.
Her fingers inched under my shirt, touching skin, traveling up to my chest. She whimpered as I jerked her to me, my cock pressing into her sex through our clothes. I wanted her. Needed her. Needed her to know how much. In just a few days, I’d begun to rely on her presence, and I couldn’t believe how much she’d changed my life.
Licking into her mouth, I walked her backward until the back of her knees hit the chair nearest the fire. Pushing until she plopped into the seat, my fingers went immediately to the button of her jeans.
Peeling them down her legs, I kissed every inch of skin that I exposed. Her thighs, knees, the bone running down her shin. As I pulled her socks off, I kissed her ankles and then each of her toes. She was panting as I kissed my way back up, not stopping until I reached her panties.
Pushing her legs open until each rested on the arms of the chair, I leaned forward and inhaled her scent, my tongue tracing the edge of the white cotton. Zoe pushed her hands into my hair. “Please,” she whispered.
I nuzzled her through the cotton. She was already wet.
The light caress caused her to arch up, pushing herself against me, demanding more. I accepted the demand — happily. Through the material, I licked and bit, and when she went to shove her panties down, swearing in frustration, I caught her wrists, pinning them to her thighs.
“Hands off,” I said roughly. “This is mine.”
“Gray, I need you.”
I ignored her pleas and continued stroking her lightly through the soft material. My cock was iron-hard, and the thought of feeling her wet pussy clamped around me made my balls draw in tight. She jerked against the hold I had on her wrists.
Her clit was a hard bud, stiff, and even through her panties, I felt it pulsing. With slow, deliberate pressure, I scraped my teeth over it, listening to her sharp intake of breath before pulling the material aside with my teeth.
It wasn’t enough. Reaching up, I stripped them from her before forcing her legs apart again. Dragging a finger up through her honey-slick folds, I watched the flower of her sex open before me. With my thumbs, I spread her swollen flesh even farther apart, one layer at a time. She was glistening. Ready for me. Needing me. So fucking beautiful.
Zoe squirmed, her hands in my hair, pulling me, trying to put my mouth where she needed it. I grinned. The Zoe from a few days ago wouldn’t have done that. She cursed. She wouldn’t have done that either.
“Gray, please.”
I blew on her folds. Her eyes closed, but I waited until they opened again. I wanted her to watch me give her what she needed. “Watch me show you what I think about being with you.”
In one quick movement, I licked up her slit before capturing her clit between my teeth. Her eyes rolled back, and she writhed, crying out as I sucked the tight bundle of nerves into my mouth. Pushing her thighs even farther back, I retraced my path, plunging my tongue deep inside her sweetness.
Sinking a finger into her tight warmth, I added another, scissoring them to make her ready for me. She was so tight, I worried I’d hurt her, rip her apart with my desperation.
Zoe’s body tightened as I stroked her deep inside, pumping my fingers with increasing speed. Her breath grew more ragged, the air ripping out of her lungs as I forced her closer and closer to the edge.
When she came, my name was on her lips as her entire body tightened, her thighs closing like a clamp around my head. Licking her softly, I waited until she stopped trembling, stopped gasping for breath before I stood and pushed my jeans down my legs.
She recovered quickly, still panting but sitting up in the chair. As my pants hit the floor, she began pulling my boxers down, licking her lips as my cock sprang free. In the days we’d been together, I’d made sure the sex was all about her, and until this moment, she’d seemed perfectly happy with that arrangement.
But now, she wrapped her hand around my cock, running a thumb over the head, swiping at a drop of pre-cum. Those eyes… Christ, they looked up at me as she brought the thumb to her mouth, and sucked. She smiled, apparently approving of the taste. Good. I had more of that to offer.
Tentatively, she licked around the rim before opening her mouth to take me in. Gritting my teeth, it took all my willpower not to grab her head and fuck her face until I exploded.
Heat. Wet. Pressure. The trifecta of every man’s wet dream.
I hissed as her tongue dipped into the tip, her teeth scraping the shaft as she tried to take me into her throat. I watched her mouth stretch wide, trying to take more of me until her eyes began to water. I grabbed her hair, pulsing in and out, before giving her a moment to breathe.
“More.”
Her fingernails scraped up my thighs, and she took my balls in her hand, squeezing almost too gently as I fed her my cock again. So sexy. Her fist circled the base of my shaft, covering the part of me her mouth couldn’t reach.
“So good,” I encouraged as my cock disappeared and reappeared. And it was good; so good I wouldn’t be able to last much longer.
As she bobbed her head, stroking my base with her hand, I warned her, “Goddess, I’m close.” She didn’t stop, only sucked harder, stroked faster, and I pulled her head away just before my semen surged from my balls.
Breathing hard, I fought my way back from the edge, not ready for this to be over.
Grabbing her hands, I pulled her to the floor, hooked her left knee over my elbow, opening her fully. In one smooth thrust, I pushed past the tight resistance of her pussy, gritting my teeth as she milked me, clenching around me like a fist.
Her eyes went blind, her hands grasping for anything she could hold on to, and I withdrew, feeling the drag of her tissues rasping over me. It was one of the best damn things I’d ever felt in my fucking life.
“Gray, I—”
I kissed her, stealing whatever she was going to say into my mouth as I began to spear into her like a savage, feeling her body tighten and tremor beneath me.
She pulled her mouth from mine, gasping for breath. Her head fell back on the rug, leaving the long line of her neck exposed, I bent my head and scraped the soft skin with my teeth.
“Oh….” The sound came out of her like a purr, and she rolled her hips against mine. She lifted her head and sucked my lower lip into her mouth.
We were animals. Taking and giving. Grabbing and biting, hanging on as if our lives depended on the other.
Catching her thighs with both arms, I pushed her knees back to her shoulders. Her nails raked my arms as I pounded into her.
“See what you do to me? See how much I want you, need you?”
She whimpered, her hands moving to my face, threading into my beard to hold on.
“Gray…”
“You’re breaking me, Z.” And she was. Tearing down all my walls. Freeing me.
She screamed my name, and I broke, shattered, came so hard, so intensely that my vision went white, my mind numb. From some distant place, I felt her coming too, those sweet pulses that were like fingers squeezing my cock.
I love you.
My mind said what my heart already knew. I loved this woman, this goddess who’d fallen into my life. As her eyes opened and she smiled up at me, I only fell harder.
Those three little words clawed into my mind, wanting to escape, wanting me to tell her, then…
“Fuck!”
Another set of claws set their hooks in me. This time real claws, real hooks coming from the direction of my scrotum. I lunged away from Zoe, screaming at the pain. I looked down at my attacker only to find the kitten hanging from my balls.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
Zoe was reaching for him at the same time I was. “Don’t pull,” I yelled as the crazy feline latched on harder. With a hiss, the demon launched himself away from me and I collapsed onto the floor, my balls in my hands as I curled into a fetal position.
When I cracked open an eye, Zoe was beside me, shoulders shaking, her hands over her mouth to keep the laughter from escaping. “I… I’ll…” Her hands were back over her mouth, her entire body shaking even harder.
“It’s not funny,” I growled, examining my hands for any blood, relieved to not find any. If there had been, the kitten was toast.
“I’ll…” she tried again. Failed. Took a deep breath and stood up, pointing both index fingers toward the bedroom. “Get med-i-cine.”
Then she was off, running into the bathroom while I writhed like a man who’d been shot. Hell, I had been shot but it hadn’t hurt nothing close to this.
When she returned, her lips were pressed tightly together, the first aid kit in her hands. She’d pulled on her robe but wore nothing beneath it. “Do...” She started laughing again. “Do you want me to look?”
I lifted a brow. “No, I think I’ve turned into a contortionist in the last thirty seconds. I’ll do it myself.”
That beautiful giggle was probably the only thing that saved the damn kitten’s life as it pounced on her robe then scurried off when I swatted in its direction. Zoe knelt between my legs, trying to get a better look.
“You’ll need to pull your…” that giggle again, “legs back.”
Groaning, I grabbed my knees and pulled them back toward my chest, hoping to god I didn’t fart in the process. I was a big guy, strong but not particularly agile, but I did the best I could. Her shoulders were shaking, her lips white from pressing them together. “A little more.” In a show of sympathy, Maggie wandered over and started licking my face.
“At least the kitten didn’t try to pole dance,” she howled as she dabbed Neosporin on my balls.
I shot her a disgusted look, then I couldn’t help it. I was howling too.