Chapter 22
Only hours left before Leona went home and Luke left for France to start filming. After two weeks, they wouldn’t see each other for three months.
And the cynical side wanted to believe she would fade from his memory, leaving her empty.
The romantic wanted to cling to him no matter what.
There was no happy middle ground. Ending things now would be safest for her heart. Telling him she’d wait had potential to crush her when he lost interest.
No matter how much she wanted to protect her fragile heart, she didn’t have the strength to end things. So, she busied herself, packing the last few things in a suitcase, and grabbed her laptop bag.
Luke moved in front of her. “You’re too quiet, Leona.”
My heart is breaking. “I don’t know what to say.”
“Tell me it’s not over when you get on that plane.”
The conversation she dreaded. Promises could be broken. “Three months is a long time, Luke. What if we’re only meant to have these two weeks?”
“I’m going to call you every day and every night. Even if you can’t talk, I’m going to call just to hear your voice.” He trailed his fingers into her hair and brought her closer. “Don’t want you to slip away.”
“Does it help if I say I’m not moving on with anyone else? If you still want me at the end of your job, you can come to me.”
“I’ll be there. No matter what happens, I’ll be there, ready to prove this isn’t over. That it’s not ending.”
Blinking back a tear, she whispered, “Why?”
He stared into her eyes and he opened his mouth to form the word I.
Her heart nearly jumped out of her chest. “Don’t say it. I’m giving you an easy out in case things change.” Her voice cracked the tear fell.
His eyes glistened. “You don’t want to give me that.”
Nope, not at all. “I need to.”
“You need to let me prove to you what you mean to me.”
“You’re going to be busy filming. I don’t want to be a distraction.”
“Leona, I can film and still be with you. Let me be with you.”
“I’ll talk to you when you call. I’ll be there when you’re done. If you don’t come, it’s okay.” God, her heart nearly shattered on the last sentence.
“You don’t mean that.”
“Maybe not right now, but by then, I might.”
“I’ll be there. I can’t imagine not coming to you.”
And she could. Not because she wanted to, but she was trying to prepare for the worst.
Luke framed her face in his hands, forcing her gaze to stay locked on his. “I won’t forget about you. I need you too damned bad to ever forget you.”
She stopped fighting the tears that wanted to fall. What if he couldn’t keep his promises? They were so new, and she was still raw from the divorce. The two weeks hadn’t been long enough.
He pulled her chin up and his mouth crashed over hers. She dropped her things and fell into the kiss as he crushed her against him.
Two perfect weeks. A fantasy. Soon reality would sweep in.
He broke the kiss and his voice was rough. “Let me love you.”
Not I love you, but let me love you. Either he did, or he didn’t. Shit, she wanted to believe none of it meant anything, but he wound the cords of love around her heart so damned tight it was a miracle it still beat.
“I know you’re afraid, Leona. I want to abolish that fear, but you won’t let your walls down.”
“What if this wasn’t enough to keep you interested for three months?”
“And what if I’m there as soon as filming wraps? What if I’ll love you more than I do right now.”
“Shit.” Her knees gave out.
He caught her, pulling her close. “I love you, Leona. You stole my heart. I love you.”
“Love you too,” she whispered. And sometimes, that wasn’t enough to make things work.
“Then tell me you’ll be waiting for me. That you’ll answer every call. That you’ll remember my promise and not try to slough me off.”
She nodded. She couldn’t form the words to argue, to agree, nothing. Three months, three long months without him. She wasn’t even sure how to deal with being in another state, and he would be on a different continent. She couldn’t expect him to call every day.
“I’ll be there as soon as it’s a wrap,” Luke vowed.
Two weeks with Luke was better than twenty years with Russell. Nothing had ever felt as intense or real as it did with Luke. And yet, she was terrified that a little distance would evaporate his resolve.
“You’ll see, Leona. I’m going to be there, and you better be ready for me.”
“I will be,” she whispered. Because if he did show up, if he was still in love with her, she would give him everything. “I’m sorry I’m a mess.”
“I get it. I hate it. I want to beat the shit out of him for breaking your faith in love, but I’ll show you the real thing.”
“Better get us to the airport.” She’d taken the Jeep back before they went to his parents’ house for a week. Then they came back to his home.
He’d managed to keep her out of the spotlight the entire time, and the paranoid, fucked up part of her head was convinced it was so they weren’t tied together, not that he wanted to protect her anonymity.
Not that she had much left. She’d already been splashed all over the tabloids, even though there was nothing solid, other than a dozen pictures from a club they had one dance in the night they met.
The memories would last, even if they didn’t. “Hurting Russell wouldn’t solve anything.”
“You’re right. But it’s going to feel really damned good when I wipe the rest of the doubt away.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Stop saying that. Just don’t push me away, and we’ll get through the time apart.”
“No pushing you away.” She kissed him before leaning back. “We need to go.”
“Someone will snap a photo of us together at the airport,” he warned.
“I don’t care about that. Let them speculate.”
“I’m going to kiss you goodbye. I want to burn myself into your memory so you don’t forget me.”
“I couldn’t forget you, no matter what happens, Luke. That’s why this sucks. I want to believe you. I do. But I have a million scenarios playing through my head where this doesn’t work out.”
“I’ll prove you wrong. We’ll be together. I won’t let you go.”
She nodded. The conversation wasn’t as horrible as she believed. He seemed to take her hesitation well enough. And maybe, hopefully, he would surprise her.
* * * *
Luke desperately wanted to get through to her. She refused to believe she was everything to him. Her imagination was running wild, and to a degree he understood that. Sooner or later, she’d understand. She had to.
Maybe it was stupid to expect a writer to believe words. He couldn’t blame her either.
Her ex stole her hope. She needed proof. And he had an idea of how to prove himself.
She was as broken about leaving as he was, but he had to go. He wanted to stay, he wanted the two weeks to stretch out forever, but she was convinced she needed to go back to her life, at least until he was done with this one project.
Shit, one project. Would she expect the same every movie? That it could just end?
He’d let her play this game exactly once. Next time, God, he hoped there was a next time, she would be his. No more questions, no more pretending, no more holding him away because some asshole shattered her heart.
Luke would mend her, and next time, maybe she could stay with him wherever they were filming. He wanted her in his bed, in his life. Even just on the phone if she insisted on staying away. And sure, there would be times she would need to be elsewhere, and that was fine. But she had convinced herself she was ready to let him walk away and never call. That would have crushed her.
He threw his two bags over his shoulder and grabbed her suitcase, heading for the doors. The driver would be there anytime.
If only he’d planned better. He should have gone back to her space, made his presence there known. Of course, he hadn’t thought of that until the night before, while she lay in his arms, holding tight while sleeping.
She reached for him in her sleep, she drew close, she held on. And while awake, her head worked in circles, finding all possible problems and feeding her doubt like it was candy.
Leona joined him, staring out the window. “I’m going to miss you.”
He knew that. Shit, he already missed her. From the moment she woke up, she was already distant.
“Three months, that’s it. And I will call every day.”
Another damned nod. He wanted her to acknowledge his devotion with words and knew she couldn’t.
Hopefully, this was the only test she would throw at him. If this didn’t work, he wasn’t sure anything would.
The SUV pulled up. Leona took her things and slipped out the door. Luke followed, locking up.
Maybe he should have convinced his sister to drop by while Leona was there. Or immerse her in his world more by bringing her to hang out with more of his friends. He’d been greedy with her, though, hadn’t wanted to share with such a short time.
She placed her backpack and suitcase in the car. His things followed, then he grabbed her hand and pulled her back before she could climb into the back seat. “I hate that defeated look in your eyes.”
“I’m—damn it.” She dropped her head and he had to smile. She wasn’t apologizing. “I’m only trying to protect my heart from the worst possible outcome.”
Pulling her tight, he whispered, “I’ll give you the best.”
After squeezing him, she climbed into a seat. He took her hand when he joined her.
The driver didn’t say a word. Instead, he drove to the airport, and Luke focused on finding a way to convince her this wasn’t over before she boarded the plane.
In the meantime, he put his arm around her and pulled her against his side. He wanted a shred of hope in her eyes before they parted ways. Not that it would stop him from calling every single day while filming.