Chapter 24
Anna couldn’t be serious. Cassie blinked twice then squeezed her eyes shut again and pinched her nose for good measure, praying the screen would change. When she reopened them, she cringed again. Cassie sat somewhere between shock and nausea over the picture of the maid of honor dress that Anna had selected,
It was… white…
Why white? Of all the colors in the universe that Anna felt in alignment with and was drawn to for whatever reason that made sense only to Anna, why on earth had she selected white? There had to be a mistake.
“Do you see it yet? Did it come through?” Anna said excitedly through the phone.
Cassie was currently in Sydney and from there was headed to Melbourne then Paris. The city of lights and romance. As beautiful as Paris was, there was probably no place on Earth she would rather not be going — unless she factored in The Island. The place that Anna and Chase had selected for their wedding venue. God, how she hated that they had chosen that place.
“I do see it. This is your dress, right? You sent me the wrong picture. This is white.”
“No, I didn’t.” Anna laughed happily, in full planning mode. “You’re wearing white. I have the most gorgeous dreamy gown in palest orange.”
Cassie barely kept her eyes from welling up when the second picture came through. The “palest orange” gown was a shining confection of flowing fabric and lines that would only complement Anna’s golden skin and honey-highlighted hair.
“It’s perfect. You’re going to look so beautiful. Hair down, right? Little wavy curls worked in here and there, waving in the breeze. That’s how you’re going to wear it, right? Flowers tucked in?”
“Ohhhh, I can just see it perfectly now. I was thinking up but down… your vision is it, the only way to go.”
“Try it out with your stylist first and make sure.” Cassie sighed. It was so like Anna to just drift along with whatever came to her, fortunately it always came out right. Just like Chase had. Thinking of Chase brought immediate thoughts of Brody and the knife-edge of pain and memories that always went with him.
“You’re thinking of him, aren’t you?” Anna asked quietly.
“Yes, dammit. How do you always know?”
“’Cause I’m your friend. It would be the same if it was Nathan.”
“I know.”
“Are you sure you’re okay sharing maid of honor duties with him as the best man? I know—”
“Everything will be fine,” Cassie cut Anna off abruptly. “We’re both adults. Your day will be perfect. I promise.”
She would practically take a blood oath to ensure it if need be. Her friend’s day would not be ruined because of the past. Cassie had already played out a number of scenarios in her head and various conversations with small talk to keep it civil between herself and Brody. But she knew seeing him again would be the hardest thing she’d ever done in her life.
“Okay. I love you so much for being my witness on this beautiful day.”
Letting out a laugh, or as near to one as she managed these days, Cassie sighed and wished she was there to reassure Anna with a hug. “It will be all your dreams come true, my friend. You have my word. Make sure I have the schedule for that week.” The happy couple was planning a full week-long celebration before the wedding on The Island. “Now, are you sure about this dress for me? White is impossible for me to keep clean. You know how I am with white.”
“Yes. You will look like an angelic jewel. Which you are anyway. The fitting is set up for when you come home in a couple weeks.”
Cassie listened, took meticulous notes, and lined up details about her duties to the bride, which included things such as the bachelorette party and bridal shower. She’d manage and shuffle it all in like she usually did. It was easier these days. Cassie had taken great pains to lighten up her workload. When your body turned traitor on you, you had no choice left but to wake up, smell the coffee, and see the tiny ticking time bomb that represented your body about to implode.
“Did you look at the retreat information I sent you?” Anna asked.
“I have. The idea sounds a little crazy, but the place looks beautiful.”
Cassie was still rolling her eyes and shaking her head over Anna’s plan for them both to go on a healing yoga retreat to help Cassie get her health back. Apparently, the massive doses of high potency vitamins, supplements, strict nutrient-dense foods, and low-impact exercises weren’t already enough. But Anna was vehement that Cassie’s soul had to begin to heal and that was why the rest of the treatments were barely helping. Cassie had finally thrown her hands up and given in, letting Anna book the retreat.
A little while later, Cassie hung up, took another call with Nathan back home, and finished her updates for him. Then she reviewed feedback from her latest seminar and the next round of tweets and social media postings that needed approval for all their various forums before she closed her computer down for the day and put it away. Finally making sure everything was packed and her clothes were laid out for her flight to Melbourne in the morning.
The company she had keynoted for today had set her up in luxury in the penthouse, and the spacious hotel bathroom boasted an acre of countertop. Cassie stood there after washing her face, making sure all makeup residue was off, and carefully and meticulously smoothed on her night cream. Looking at herself in the mirror, she gave in, letting her shoulders slump as she admitted to herself what she couldn’t say out loud to the bride.
How on earth was she going to face Brody again?
She’d said so many awful things to him the last time they fought — when she’d been hurting so badly that she could barely see straight. Even knowing all he’d wanted to do was help and how much he cared for her, she hadn’t been able to stop herself from lashing out at him. They had both said horrible things to each other that night.
And now Anna and Chase had picked the one place in the bloody universe Cassie never wanted to see again.
That beautiful place where Brody had held her and they had watched the sun set across the ocean every evening while it burned, painting colors in the sky. With the beach below and the stars above them, Brody had made love to her on the chaise by the pool. Cassie had fallen for him so hard, she realized that whatever her previous marriage had been was a joke compared to what her heart held for Brody.
He’d healed everything in her that had been broken, then they had been given a beautiful gift. One neither of them had been expecting. And they hadn’t survived the loss either.
Tears threatened again, and Cassie had learned in recent months to let them come. Things were worse, physically and emotionally, when she buried her sorrow. Switching off the bathroom light, she climbed into bed and wept for the loss of their baby and even more for the loss of the man she had loved so much and probably still did. As she slid into an uneasy sleep, memories filtered in, as they always did, like a movie reel.
“Dammit, Cassie, you need to take some time off. Some time to heal,” Brody argued as they stood in his kitchen.
She flinched at the words as if they were a slap. She knew, deep down, the truth of them, even if she couldn’t admit it out loud. “I took time already.”
“Baby, three days is not taking time off. Three days was just while your body wa—”
The glare Cassie sent stopped him mid-word. “I can’t afford to take time off right now. I’ve signed contracts that I can’t just back out of.”
“Then have Nathan lead the seminars, or someone else on your team. Train them to do it. If it’s the fucking money, I’ll write you a goddamn check to cover it.” Frustration evident, Brody paced, an arm thrown out with every other word to emphasize that frustration.
Cassie’s vision went red with fury as she pointed at him. “How dare you toss your money in my face like that’s all this is about! I can’t just hand off the baton to an unknown. They signed me to keynote and do the trainings. I can’t just stop right now. The company is on the next big edge. If we lose momentum—”
“That’s a crock of bullshit and you know it. You’re using your job as a crutch instead of dealing with what’s happened,” he yelled. Stopping, Brody looked about to break. He reached to touch her, but she flinched away. “It wasn’t your fault.”
“Don’t tell me it wasn’t.”
She’d been healthy. She’d always taken care of her body. She still couldn’t understand how it had all gone so terribly wrong. God! She couldn’t deal with this right now. She needed to leave again the next day. Fighting to keep calm, Cassie reached for the control that had always served her in the past and ignored the part of herself that wanted to do what Brody said — curl up for a week in his arms.
To cry. To breathe. To find a way to feel happy again.
It had been so long since she’d felt happy…
Brody took her hand and leaned down to brush her hair back. “You need time off. We both do. Let’s just go away somewhere together and figure this out.” Green eyes full of caring pleaded with her.
“I’m sorry that you don’t understand, but I can’t take the time right now.”
Brody whipped away on a growl. “Fuck, you make me so mad, woman. You’re so fucking stubborn.”
Grabbing the glass of water on the kitchen counter, he hurled it at the wall. It shattered and water dripped down the wall onto the floor. Neither of them moved to clean it up.
“You’re just as damn stubborn that you won’t leave this be. I’m fine. I’ll figure it out.”
Everything in Brody went as still as a statue and his face turned to granite. No trace was left of the man who loved her. “You’re not doing fine. I’m not gonna sit here and watch you destroy yourself because you won’t deal. You need to talk to someone. We both do.”
The past curled through her like a viper, hissing and spitting at the ultimatum. Poisoning Cassie’s blood to ice.
Therapy — God, how she hated that word. How much time had she wasted in endless sessions, pouring out her heart and soul to a stranger who only pretended to listen and offered nothing in return? She’d spent too much time on that road before.
Turning back to Brody, the rest of what was left of Cassie’s heart shattered. “I won’t do that. Not even for you.”
She knew as she said the words that they meant the end for them.