IT WAS A hard weekend for me. I spent the bulk of it avoiding Olivia while Nika ducked out of the house every so often to take phone calls from her sort-of boyfriend. But that wasn’t what made it difficult. It was my mind replaying my romantic moment with Raquel, and then instantly remembering her heated moment with Russell in the theater. It stung. I stung.
It wasn’t as if I’d never seen them together before. I had. But I’d only witnessed light pecks and hand holding. What had been happening in that movie theater was a full-on precursor to sex. I was positive that if they hadn’t been doing it already, they were now. It killed me. Especially when I thought about her lips on mine…the way she’d looked at me, begged me with her eyes to save her, confessed she might have feelings for me…
I knew I had to let her go, had to move on, I just didn’t know how. I’d liked her for so long that everyone else paled in comparison now. Somehow, I’d turned her into my ideal woman. Nika wanted me to move on with Arianna. I’d even briefly considered it while she’d stayed with me at a diner on that fateful night, eating my fries and trying to make me smile. She was very…sweet, and easy to talk to. But while Arianna was cute and nice, she didn’t make my chest ache; she wasn’t the one I fantasized about.
Late Sunday night, after Ben shepherded his exhausted daughter to sleep, and Mom and Dad closed their soundproof door, Nika stepped into my room. I looked up at her approach. My sister was beautiful, with thick, wavy brown hair and eyes that were a warm, welcoming shade of brown. Even though she was frowning at me, I saw happiness in the curves of her features. She was falling for this Hunter guy, and while I wasn’t sure about him, I was at least thankful that he’d brightened Nika’s outlook on life, and love. Now, if only mine could be lifted.
She sat next to me on the bed, her gaze drifting over my face. I slapped on a smile and her frown deepened. I couldn’t fake out my sister. “So much has been going on, we haven’t had a chance to talk about what happened at school yet. Do you want to?”
I averted my eyes. “There isn’t much to say, Nick.”
She put her hand over my folded ones. “You were frozen in that closet, Julian. You haven’t completely frozen up like that in…a long time.”
I tried to look at her, but I couldn’t, and my gaze drifted to our fingers instead. “I don’t know what happened. I was fine…then I wasn’t. It was just a closet. It’s so stupid that I was scared of a freaking closet.”
Nika squeezed my hands under hers. “It wasn’t stupid, Julian, and it wasn’t just a closet…you know that. You were back there again, weren’t you?”
Shame swelled in me as I finally met her eyes. “I was three years old, Nika. Why can’t I let it go?” My face darkened, along with my mood. “I’m a vampire. Vampires aren’t scared of anything. I should be stronger.”
Her gaze softened as she studied me. “You’re sixteen. You’re a kid.”
I couldn’t stop my smirk. “So are you.”
She started to smile, then her face fell. “I get scared, too, Julian. It terrifies me that I could lose you again.” She tossed her head back and forth. “I can’t lose you again.”
I looked away, no longer able to handle seeing the emotion as well as feeling it. “You won’t,” I whispered.
Nika sighed, then changed the topic. “Do you want to talk about Raquel?”
While Nika’s spirits evened, mine plummeted. “Nothing much to say there either. She’s with Russell. She loves…” my voice hitched, “…Russell.”
Nika was silent as her hand shifted to my back. Her emotions expressed it for her, but she said it anyway. “I’m sorry, Julie.”
I nodded at her. “I know, Nick.”
Her face turned impish. “You know, you could always date—”
I shoved her shoulder away from me, knowing exactly what she was going to say. “Stop trying to play matchmaker.” I laughed as I shook my head. “I’m not going to date your best friend.”
Giggling, Nika indicated the guest room. “Actually, I was going to say Olivia.”
I made a move to grab her, to put her in a headlock and give her a wet willy or something, but she blurred away from me. “Bitch,” I joked.
Retreating to our mutual bathroom, she tossed out, “Just saying,” before disappearing into her room.
I was smiling and rolling my eyes at her as I laid down on my bed. I felt lighter though. “Thanks, Nick.”
“Anytime, Julie.”
ONCE WE GOT back to school, I avoided Raquel. She’d made her choice, obviously, and trying to have a heartfelt conversation with her again wasn’t going to do me any good. Sure, in her confusion, she might kiss me again, but that was all it would be—a stolen kiss in a closet—and I wanted more. Why set myself up for pain like that?
I managed to make it through the rest of September that way, most of October too. I kept my head down when they were near and shifted my focus to my friends and schoolwork. I might have started flirting a little with Arianna, but it was just to ease the heartache, and it was never anything serious, no more than how Arianna often flirted with me. I’d toss my arm over her shoulders when Raquel walked by. I’d lean in close to tell her something when Raquel was watching us across the cafeteria. It irritated Nika, and I hoped it wasn’t leading Arianna on, but seeing the flash of jealousy in Raquel’s eyes was almost addicting. It made my long days of watching her with Russell…bearable.
I was waiting for Starla after school one afternoon with Nika, Trey, and Arianna, when Raquel’s jealousy finally seemed to get the better of her. Arianna and I were sitting on the steps leading to the library, the long overhang of the building protecting us from the rain that had started. Arianna was sitting on the step right behind me, her legs on either side of me as I leaned back into her body. My head was resting on her stomach and she was trailing her fingers through my hair in a repetitive pattern that was surprisingly peaceful. I knew the way we were sitting was couple-like, but when she’d pulled me into her, I hadn’t been able to resist. Nika was upset; I could feel the disapproval coming off her in waves.
My sister had asked me several times to stop flirting with her friend. She’d tell me, “If you don’t like her, don’t encourage her.” But the thing was…I did like Arianna. Maybe not in that way, not in the way I liked Raquel, but I enjoyed being around her. We’d had a lot of quiet conversations since she’d helped me get through my torment at the movie theater, and I found myself looking forward to talking to her. And if I was honest, I looked forward to flirting with her too. It felt really…nice. Although, I supposed that was a habit I needed to break. Before Arianna got hurt.
Just as I was thinking that I should move away from Arianna, Raquel walked by. She did a double take when she noticed the way we were sitting on the steps, and a flash of something dark and vindictive spiked in me. How does it feel? I initially wanted to push the bitter feeling back, but it was better than pain, so I welcomed it instead, and stayed where I was on Arianna’s lap. She sighed with contentment while Raquel seemed torn.
Surprising me, Raquel stopped and stepped under the overhang with my group. Looking at the students lingering nearby, she muttered, “Hey, Julian.”
Staying where I was, I watched her every move. “Hey, Raquel.”
Arianna, maybe feeling a little possessive, rested her hand on my chest. I thought to remove it, but the look of dismay on Raquel’s perfect face lifted my heart, gave me a burst of painful hope. Was she upset at the idea of me having moved on? Did that mean she still cared about me? Still considered me…a maybe?
Arianna’s heart started increasing as she stroked her fingers over my chest. I knew I should stop her, move away from her, but with Raquel openly staring at me, I couldn’t move; I could barely breathe. I hadn’t said more than two words to Raquel since the closet incident, and this was the longest we’d looked at each other in a long time. Nika wasn’t happy about Raquel being here, about the swarm of feelings resurfacing in my chest, but for now she was holding her tongue. I didn’t know how much longer that would last.
Raquel pointed at Arianna and me. “Are you guys going to the Halloween party at Derrick’s tonight?”
Adrenaline shot through me. She was asking about my plans? She hadn’t done that since before Russell and I had gotten into it at the beginning of the year. Even though I was euphoric, I acted like it was no big deal. “Probably not. You?”
Raquel shrugged and tucked a dark lock of her hair behind her ear. It revealed a long, shapely neck that both sides of my nature longed for. “Yeah…Russell wants to go.”
She frowned after she said it, and I resisted every instinct I had to comfort her, to tell her that she could do better than Russell, to tell her that Arianna and I were just friends…to tell her that I still wanted her. But being distant from her was drawing her closer, so I didn’t say anything that was in my heart. Knowing she was waiting for some shred of hope that I would be there, I told her, “I’m sure you guys will have a good time.” Not wanting to sound callus, I smiled and added, “Actually, I hope you have a great time.”
She nodded at me, eyeing Arianna uneasily. “Thank you. I guess I should go. I hope…I hope you change your mind and come.”
She spun on her heel and walked away, seemingly flustered and embarrassed. Confusion welled in me as I watched her leave. I hope you change your mind and come? She wanted me to go to the party. Was she changing her mind about Russell? About me? About us?
I tried to sit up, but Arianna’s grip on me tightened. Just as I was beginning to think that maybe I’d already misled Arianna, Nika snapped, “Mom’s here, Julian.” Her voice was as prickly as her mood.
I glanced over at her narrowed eyes, then turned to see Starla’s car pulling into the lot. Arianna sighed as she let me go. Hopping up, I grabbed my bag. I wasn’t sure what to do with Arianna now, since we’d somehow shifted our flirting into something more than causal; I hadn’t meant to. Most of the time, I just followed her lead. Bouncing to her feet, Arianna said, “Are you sure you don’t want to go to that party tonight? I think it could be fun.” She gave me a small smile that was almost shy. It was…kind of adorable.
Confusion tore through me as I looked at her; had she always been this pretty, or had she done something to herself in the last several weeks? New haircut? Different makeup? “I don’t…I don’t know,” I told her. I’m not really a party person…or a costume person.”
Nika muttered, “Or an honest person.”
None of the humans heard my sister, but I glared at her anyway. Starla honked her horn at us, and Arianna sighed again, then gave me a radiant smile. “Have a good weekend, Julian, and call me, if you need to talk about…anything. I’m here for you.” She turned her smile to my sister. “I’ll talk to you later, Nika.”
She bounded away, nearly skipping; her kind words left a warmth hovering over my chest. I’m here for you. I’d never heard anyone but my family say that to me.
Just as I was about to head off to my “mom’s” car, Trey grabbed my arm. His face oddly serious, he said, “You were joking, right? You are going to that party tonight, aren’t you? It’s gonna be huge, Julian.”
I glanced over at the direction Raquel had taken, and again, confusion roiled within me. Should I let her comment go? I hope you change your mind and come. With a sigh, I finally told him, “Yeah, I’ll be there.”
He smacked my shoulder in approval as Nika stormed off, ticked now. I sighed, said goodbye to Trey, and followed her. Catching up, I asked, “Why are you mad?”
She spun in the rain to face me. “You’ve been flirting with Arianna for weeks. I think in the beginning, it was just to get a rise out of Raquel, but now… I feel how happy you are when you’re around her, Julian. And maybe it was stupid of me, but I thought you were actually starting to like her. But with the way you got all confused and hopeful when Raquel invited you to that party…well, it’s obvious that nothing has changed. It’s still all about Raquel. And now you’re blowing off Arianna to be with her? You got Arianna’s hopes up, just like I asked you not to, and now you’re dumping her, like some jackass, lamo…guy! Is that who you want to be, Julian?” she asked.
Her biting tone got under my skin; it also struck a nerve. She might have a point, not that I was going to concede that while she was snapping at me. “A guy? Yeah, I would like to be a guy, because, if you hadn’t noticed, I am a guy!”
Starla honked her horn again as Nika stood still as stone in the rain. Beads of it collected in her hair. Maybe it was my imagination, but I could almost hear the drops sizzling in her anger. “Don’t be a guy…be a man. If you don’t want to be with Arianna, then leave her alone. She deserves better.”
She spun again, leaving me standing alone in the rain. Shame pelted me as I watched Nika slam Starla’s door shut. She was right. I liked Arianna, in the friendly sort of way, and she did deserve better—she deserved someone amazing, like she was. Someone who thought the sun rose and set with her. I would tell her. The next time I saw her, I would sit her down and be brutally honest with her. I liked her as a friend, but that was it…so the flirting needed to stop. I didn’t want to hurt her like Raquel had so often hurt me.
Head down, I trailed after my sister. Starla spun out of the lot before I even got my door closed all the way. She immediately took Nika to the library, since she spent every day after school there on her still-secret dates with Hunter. As Nika exited the car, I muttered, “I’m sorry, Nick. I’ll tell her I don’t see her that way. I’ll leave her alone.”
Nika paused. Face still stony, anger washing up and down her body, she nodded stiffly, then slammed the door shut. I sighed, and Starla chuckled as she pulled away. “Score one for Nika…she owned your ass back there.” She popped a bubble with her gum, her gaze locked on mine in the rearview mirror. “Serves you right for being a prick.”
Closing my eyes, I leaned my head back on the seat and wished I could magically teleport like so many vampires in the movies could. That would be a much handier super power than excessively good hearing.
Starla took me home next, and seeing Ben’s rental car in the drive made me sigh. If he was there, then Liv was there too, and I felt like I’d been fawned over enough for one day. Thanking Starla for her parental duties, I opened the front door and stepped inside. By the response, you’d think I was a soldier returning from the war.
“Julian!”
Liv’s arms cinched around me, and I struggled to breathe. For such a young girl, she was exceptionally strong. Coughing, I removed my bag from my shoulder and held it out. “Hey, Liv, you want to give me a hand and run my bag to my room?”
She brightened and nodded her head so hard I thought she might give herself whiplash. “Sure thing, Julian.” She had my bag halfway up the steps before I could even tell her thank you. I peeked over to the living room, to see if Ben would scold me for using his daughter like that, but Ben wasn’t in there. Tuning in, I heard him talking to someone in the kitchen.
“I’m at Teren’s now. When he gets home, we’ll go check it out. Like I said, I’m not as good at spotting these as you, but better safe than sorry.”
Curious, I tiptoed into the room. Ben was frowning, cell phone to his ear, while he hunched over the kitchen table. There was an open laptop, but I couldn’t see the screen from where I was. The table was covered in newspapers; they all seemed to be opened to the classifieds section. Ben’s finger traced lines over the black print as the person on the other line spoke to him. “What about the one I showed you last night? Were you able to follow up on it?”
Ben sighed, closing his eyes. “We were too late. I cleaned up the best I could, but—”
A floorboard creaked under my weight, and I stopped moving. Even though he was human, Ben heard me and stopped explaining. The voice on the other end heard me too. “Is someone there, Ben? Is it Teren?”
Straightening, Ben locked gazes with me. “No…Julian.”
“Ah, I see. I’ll let you deal with that then.”
The line disconnected, and Ben set his phone down. Wondering how to explain to the adult before me that I was spying, I slapped on a smile. “Hey, Ben. You, uh…looking for a job?”
Ben gave me a business-like smile. “Something like that. I didn’t hear you come in.” He snapped the laptop shut.
Shrugging, I walked over to the table and examined the slew of papers; a handful of the classifieds were circled in red. “Sorry, I was just hungry…wanted to get something to eat but didn’t want to bug you.”
Ben nodded and started cleaning up the newspapers as I tried to read the details of some. They seemed like random Help Wanted listings. Maybe he really was looking for a job. He’d been here a while, helping Gabriel with his super-secret L.A. type problem. A problem that none of the adults would discuss around any of us kids.
Wondering if he’d slip up while he was preoccupied with cleaning, I asked, “Was that Gabriel on the phone?” Ben stopped collecting papers and glanced at me. “It sounded like him,” I added.
Shaking his head, Ben quickly swept away the rest of the mess. “Your hearing never ceases to amaze me.” Folding the papers into a more manageable pile, he met my eye. “Yeah, that was Gabriel.”
Determined to get some answers, I crossed my arms over my chest. “And what did he want? What exactly did he show you last night, and what did you have to ‘clean up’?”
Ben stared at me a moment, weighing me. Then he flashed a smile that made the women melt, or so I’d been told. “Don’t worry about it, kid. Your dad and I have it under control.”
“Didn’t sound like it. It sounded like you were too late. It sounded like you needed help.” I snatched the pile of papers from him, lightning fast. “What are these about?”
Ben blinked, then snatched the papers back from me. “I know you want to help, Julian, you and Nika both, but your parents have asked for you two to not be involved…and I have to respect that.” Running a hand through his highlights, he let out a weary exhale. “I’m sorry, I can’t tell you anything.”
He tucked the newspapers under some books on the counter, hiding the last of the “Services Needed” postings. He gave me a blank look that all adults give children when they aren’t going to budge on something. It irritated me. I wasn’t a kid anymore, and I didn’t need to be sheltered.
I felt Nika’s buoyant mood start to shift toward curiosity as Ben and I stared each other down. The mounting tension in the room was only broken by Olivia, who burst around the corner and attached herself to my body. “I put your bag away, Julian!” Her cheeks were rosy as her bright face searched mine like I had all the answers to life’s most important questions. “Can I do anything else for you?”
Ben raised an eyebrow. Not tearing his gaze from me, he asked his daughter, “You’re doing chores for him?”
I cringed as Liv twisted to face her dad. “Just little ones.”
Ben put a hand on her shoulder. “You don’t have to do that.” He shifted to cup her cheek. “I’m going to take you to the airport in the morning, so you can go visit your mom for a while. Why don’t you go get your stuff together?”
Liv frowned and looked back at me. “I don’t want to go.”
Ben sighed and pulled her in for a hug. “I don’t want you to go either, sweetheart, but Mom misses you, and you’ve missed too much school.” His eyes were moist when he pulled away from her. Tucking a golden lock of hair behind her ear, he told her, “But if I’m not done here soon, I’ll have Mom send you back for a visit, okay?”
While Ben had been staying here with us, he and Tracey had been shuffling Olivia back and forth. It was hard on her, to be shuttled around, flown from one parent to the other. But Ben got antsy when she was away from him for too long. I’d heard him tell Dad that not everyone in San Francisco appreciated his services. He was worried that some ticked off vampire would harm his daughter…or his wife. Even though Ben was devoted to my family, even though he’d left mixed-vampire bodyguards behind to watch over his loved ones, being here was a struggle for him. I could see the weariness all over his features. One more reason he should let my sister and me help. All hands on deck.
Olivia nodded sadly before trudging out of the room. Standing, Ben faced me. “She adores you, Julian. Please don’t make her do things for you.” With those words, he grabbed the laptop, books, and papers, and left me alone in the kitchen.
Nice. I’d been reprimanded for using two girls today. Well, wasn’t I turning into a full-fledged dick. Pretty soon, I’d be cornering guys in the locker room and roughing up my girlfriend. No. No, I’d never do that.
Before too long, my parents came back home with Nika. She was bubbly, having spent a good chunk of her afternoon with Hunter. My parents were still in the dark about that. They just assumed that Nika had a love of books that bordered on obsession. During dinner, Nika brought up our spat after school. “Hey, sorry to snap at you earlier.”
Mom and Dad were in a conversation with Ben, both of them pretending to eat the bits of food on their plate, since Olivia was seated to my left, watching everything. Undead vampires couldn’t eat human food anymore. I wasn’t sure what would happen if they did, but Mom had hinted once that it wasn’t pretty.
“It’s okay, you were right,” I told her.
She smiled brighter. Like most girls, Nika loved hearing that she was right. Glancing at Mom and Dad, she asked, “So, are you still…?”
She didn’t finish her question since our parents were in earshot, but I knew what she was referring to—she wanted to know if I was still going to go to that Halloween party with Trey. Honestly, I’d put it from my mind once I’d gotten home, but, now that she mentioned it… “Yeah, yeah I think so.”
Nika pushed some chicken around her plate, not too thrilled by my answer. She didn’t say anything more though. She couldn’t really. If she outed that I was going to sneak off to some underage drinking party, then I might out her secret boyfriend. And even though Nika and Hunter were taking things slowly, usually only meeting at the library during the week, their friendship was not something Nika wanted to share just yet.
After dinner, Dad and Ben left the house to look into whatever it was Ben had found in the classifieds. Mom seemed worried as she stared out the front windows, playing with the heart locket around her neck. The gold locket opened to reveal baby pictures of Nika and me, along with tiny pictures of Mom and Dad. Dad had given it to Mom when she was pregnant with us; she wore it almost every single day.
I played a board game in the dining room with Olivia while I waited; Nika gabbed with Arianna in her bedroom. I wasn’t quite sure how to sneak out of the house with two supernatural parents. It wasn’t just their hearing that I had to watch out for. No, the blood bond was the real problem. I had an internal GPS spouting my location to them twenty-four-seven. There was a way to turn it off—that was what had happened to me when I was younger—but I didn’t know what the drug was that I’d been dosed with. All I remembered about it was that it had made me sick to my stomach…and it had burned. I’d felt on fire as the shot had moved through my veins.
I pushed the memory of that horror away as Olivia took three of my checker pieces. I didn’t need to have a panic attack right now. And besides, shutting off the bond wasn’t an option either. Sure, I’d be able to ditch my parents, but if I suddenly dropped out of their senses, they’d call in everybody to find me. The whole family would be on alert. That level of stress wasn’t my goal tonight. No stress was my goal tonight. No stress…and seeing Raquel.
I looked up at Mom in the window when I felt Dad’s location start to firmly head toward home. Sighing, Mom rested her head against the glass and murmured, “Thank you.” I wasn’t sure if she was thanking Dad, or thanking fate.
Her face was a picture of peace when he finally walked back into the house. Dad’s face was the same. They instantly locked onto each other, like they’d been apart for years, not hours. They were kissing and whispering words of affection while Ben scooted around them, unfazed. He was used to their passionate homecomings. We all were. It was their special bond that fueled the reaction. Well, that and a giant helping of love and respect. But the bond drove them to want to be together, gave them each a euphoric feeling when they met up. I couldn’t imagine what having a connection like that must feel like, although, I did get a tiny buzz whenever Raquel was near me. Arianna, too, in a way.
As Ben walked over to his daughter, he mumbled under his breath, “I’m so glad that bond has tapered off over the years. I really don’t want to ever find you guys going at it in my car again.”
I snorted. Ben’s eyes locked on mine and he paled, like he’d again forgotten that I could hear him just as well as my parents. Mom pulled away from Dad, her mouth wide open. “Ben!” She indicated me with her hand. I bit my lip to stop myself from laughing; Dad couldn’t stop himself. Nika continued chattering to Arianna upstairs. Preoccupied with her own conversation, she didn’t seem to have overheard Ben’s comment.
Olivia looked confused by everyone’s strange reactions. “What’s going on?”
Ben quickly changed the topic. “Time for bed, kiddo.”
He hustled her upstairs. Mom and Dad kissed me goodnight, then headed up to their room. By the look on Mom’s face, I could tell that she was dying to know what Ben and Dad had discovered. I also knew that the pair wouldn’t talk about it until they were behind their soundproof door. This worked well for me on the hearing front, but made it trickier too. With the door closed, I wouldn’t be able to tell when they were asleep. They could stay up all night talking. If I tried to sneak out of the house and they were awake, I’d have hell to pay.
Trudging up to my room, I thought maybe I’d have to skip the party after all. Nika was off the phone with Arianna when I entered my room. She was sitting on her bed, waiting. I didn’t know if she was waiting to talk to me, or waiting for my parents to fall asleep. Realizing that between my parents and my watch-guard sister, I was thoroughly stuck at home, I slipped into the bathroom, brushed my teeth, and got ready for bed. Nika watched me without comment. When I was done, I closed my door to the bathroom, effectively blocking her out. “Goodnight, Nick.”
“Are you staying home then?” she asked.
Flopping onto my bed, I took off my shoes with my toes. I could feel the pulsing enclosure of my family’s presence imprisoning me. I’d so wanted to see Raquel tonight…I just had no way to leave. “Looks like it…”
“That’s probably for the best, Julian. Raquel may act interested at times, but she’s—”
I cut off her well-intentioned speech. “I’m tired, Nika. I just want to go to sleep.”
Nika murmured okay, then was silent. Sighing, I closed my eyes and tried to forget that—right now—Raquel was at a party with Russell…and she might be looking for me. My phone buzzed, but I ignored it. It was just Trey, asking where the hell I was. He’d forget about me soon enough, once he found some illegal substances to indulge in. I just couldn’t handle telling him that I couldn’t make it. It was too disappointing.
Two hours later, I was still wide awake. Staring at the light fixture in the center of the room, I debated abandoning sleep all together and going downstairs to watch some TV. Then I wondered if maybe I could sneak out after all. Sitting up, I glanced at the clock. It was late, but not too late. A bunch of partying teenagers could still be going strong. Looking over to the closed bathroom door separating my room from Nika’s, I murmured, “Nick? You awake?”
Silence met my ear. Well, mainly silence. I could pick out the light breathing sounds of Ben, Olivia, and my sister. I could also hear their slow, steady heartbeats. They all seemed to be asleep. My parents, though, that was a gamble. If I cracked their door to check, they could wake up. If I just left, and they were still awake, I wouldn’t get very far, and I’d be in a massive amount of trouble.
Grabbing my shoes, I decided to take the risk of leaving. If they were up, and I got in trouble, then…so be it, I got in trouble. If they weren’t up, and I got to see Raquel all decked out in her Halloween costume, well, that was worth a little scolding.
I grabbed my jacket off the floor before quietly closing my bedroom door. Careful to not wake up my sister, I tiptoed downstairs. A floorboard creaked near the front door and I froze. No sounds in the house changed, and I tried to still my rapidly beating heart, tried to smooth the adrenaline running through me. Being loud wasn’t the only thing that could wake up my sister. If my emotions were strong enough, that might wake her up too. Taking long, slow, deep breaths, I opened the front door and stepped through it.
This was where my parents would question me if they were still awake. Leaving the house would certainly stoke their curiosity. Walking as nonchalantly as I could, I grabbed my skateboard resting at the edge of the flower garden near the porch. Nothing so far. They must be asleep. Terrified and thrilled, I set down the board and skated off. I started counting in my head. I was sure I wouldn’t get to twenty before someone started shouting. When I made it to fifty, I started relaxing.
My grin huge, I used a bit of my inhuman strength to propel the board as quickly as I could. I also grabbed the phone from my jacket pocket and texted Trey. ‘I’ll be at the party in fifteen.’
His response was a little slow. ‘Dude, I thought you were already here?’
Shaking my head at him, I dug in a little harder. No, not yet…but soon.
Derrick’s house was pretty far from mine, on the edge of the city. The night was frigid as I strode up the dusty drive. Kids were milling about outside, though, too entertained to mind the nip in the air. Everyone was dressed in some type of Halloween costume. Wearing jeans and a T-shirt, I stood out, but I didn’t care. I wasn’t here to win a costume contest. Hopefully, I’d be winning Raquel’s heart away from Russell. That was my goal tonight.
I left my board on the brown lawn, near a prickly bush that had seen better days. Derrick’s place was on a couple of acres, and was secluded enough that no one would probably call the cops on a bunch of rowdy kids. His parents were constantly gone on business trips, which made his place the ideal weekend party spot. I’d never actually been here before, but I’d heard some pretty crazy stories.
You would think that teenage drinking and partying would be almost non-existent in a city that was so centralized around a religion that frowned on any mind-altering substances, but, that wasn’t the case tonight. Plastic cups filled with toxic-smelling liquid were everywhere around me as I stepped into the two-story party central.
A zombie and a mummy were hanging out by the front door. They both checked me out, then ignored me. I wondered how I was going to find Trey as I walked through the swarm of partiers. He found me though. I was trying to politely squeeze through a couple of barely clad genies when he barged into me. Slamming me from behind, he made me bump into the girls. One of them smacked me when I accidentally brushed her chest. Trey started laughing uncontrollably as they walked away in a huff.
“Thanks, man,” I muttered.
He wiped his bloodshot eyes. “That was priceless, Adams.”
I could tell from Trey’s appearance—and his smell—that he’d been here a while and he was clearly feeling no pain. Knowing he’d know where my girl was hiding, I leaned in so he could hear me above the din of the crowd and music. “You seen Raquel?”
Trey looked confused for a second, then nodded. He was dressed as a court jester, and the bells on his hat jingled as he indicated upstairs. “She went up there.”
My heart dropped as I glanced at the stairs leading to the second floor…where the bedrooms were. “She alone?”
Trey’s hand on my shoulder swung my attention back to him. “Let it go, man.” He held up a joint. “Smoke this and you’ll forget all about her.”
I shook my head and started wading through witches and warlocks to get to the stairs. Trey followed close behind. “Julian, you don’t want to go up there.”
Furious and in pain, I ignored him. I didn’t know what I’d been expecting. Raquel had told me she was coming here with Russell. There had just been something in the way she’d asked me to change my mind and come, something in her voice when she’d seen me with Arianna. I thought…I thought coming here tonight might change everything for us. Trudging up the stairs, I wasn’t sure what I was going to do once I got to the top.
People around me were laughing, talking, drinking, and there seemed to be a line to get into the bedrooms…the make-out rooms. And more, I supposed, but I couldn’t think about that. Thinking about Raquel and Russell going at it might make me throw up. I tried to weasel my way to the front of the line, but a football player grabbed my shoulder and pushed me back.
“Wait your turn, douche!”
Glaring at him, I imagined pushing him so hard he flew all the way to the back wall. Even though he was bigger than me, I knew I could do it. And it wasn’t helping my anger any that I could clearly hear moaning and groaning coming from each of the three closed rooms. I could even hear a bed squeaking in the far one. Not seeing Raquel in the hall, I had to imagine that she was in one of the bedrooms.
Trey pulled on my shoulder when I didn’t back down from the jock in front of me. “Dude, ease up.”
I couldn’t. I was too hurt to ease up. Raquel was miserable with Russell, but she wouldn’t leave him. She’d shown me her vulnerable side…she’d kissed me. But it hadn’t changed her mind, and now… She could be having sex with him. The couple crying out so loudly that the kids in the hall were chuckling at them could be Raquel and Russell. I had to grab my stomach it hurt so much.
I was just about to physically remove the man blocking my path when I heard something that stopped my heart. In the bedroom closest to me, a soft voice said, “No, Russell, I don’t want to go that far.”
I held my breath. It wasn’t Raquel that was screaming, “Yes,” and about to finish in the far room. She was with Russell, but they were just kissing. Funny how that was comforting to me now. My hand balled into a fist while I waited for Russell’s response. If he tried to force her…I would end him.
“What? Don’t give me this shit, Raquel. You get me all worked up…again…and then you turn me down…again? I’m not taking this crap anymore.” I heard clothes being adjusted, bodies shifting.
In a panicked voice, I heard Raquel tell him, “Don’t be mad. I will…just not like this…not at a party.”
“Whatever,” he muttered.
My body was searing with anger when he opened the door. Also dressed as a football player, Russell made a show of zipping up his pants as he exited the room. The kids in the hall cheered, clapping him on the back. The verbal couple hit their peak just then, adding to the joyous sounds. I clenched my stomach harder.
Trey pulled on my arm. “Let’s go, man.”
I was the only one who knew nothing had happened in that room. As Russell passed, I couldn’t help but tell him, “Better luck next time.”
Russell glanced at me, but didn’t react to my comment. He gave me a derisive sniff, stumbled, and headed down the stairs. I figured he was drunk, and had missed my diss. He probably hadn’t even gotten a full look at me, otherwise he might have started something. The jerk who had been blocking my path to the bedrooms finally darted into a free room with his cheerleader in tow, and I took the opportunity to sneak ahead of an oblivious couple making out in the hallway. Trey raised his arms in a questioning gesture, and I gave him a quick smile before I headed into the bedroom that Raquel was still in.
Raquel and Russell had been in the master bedroom by the size of the bed and the contemporary décor. Raquel was sitting on the edge of the mattress, looking forlorn, when I closed the door. Hearing me, she looked up. “Russell?” Her face fell a little. “Oh…hey, Julian. You decided to come to the party after all, huh?” Wiping under her eyes, she asked, “Arianna here?”
As I sat beside her on the bed, I tried to block out the image of Russell zipping up his pants. I also tried to ignore the fact that they’d been rolling around on this bed only moments ago. Raquel was dressed as a fairy. Her hair had been elaborately curled and pinned, but some of the dark strands had fallen loose. Her eyes were masked in pastel makeup; some of it was smudged. Her outfit was disheveled, slightly out of place in some areas. She was absentmindedly fingering a set of wings in her hands. “You shouldn’t be in here,” she whispered.
Seeing the pain on her face, I shoved aside my heartache, replacing it with concern. “Are you okay? Did he…hurt you?”
She glanced up at me, her eyes wet. “No, we didn’t do anything. I told him no.” She frowned as she searched my face. “I don’t know why I’m telling you that.”
My heart skipped a beat. “Raquel…I…”
She stood up, cutting me off. “I should go find Russell…”
Standing, I grabbed her hand. “Don’t…stay here with me.”
She stepped closer to me, but her eyes darted around the room, over the bed. “Julian, I…”
Intimate sounds from the other rooms seeped into my head. They didn’t make me sick this time…they made me want her even more. I felt the warmth and desire for her growing as we stood there, staring at each other. Knowing Nika was asleep, and for once my feelings were my own, I embraced them. I opened myself up to them. Pulling her closer, I cupped her cheek. “You deserve better, Raquel. You should have seen his face when he left this room, like you were an object he’d won.” I shook my head. “I’d never treat you like an object.” I leaned in, and my body pressed along the length of hers. “I…I think I love you,” I whispered. It felt so true after I said it, but at the same time…incomplete. The possibility of growth was there, and I wanted to explore it with her. I wanted to love her.
“Oh…Julian. Sometimes I think…I could love you too. Maybe…”
She pressed her lips to mine then, and I thought I might die from the burst of joy exploding through me. I kissed her as softly and tenderly as I could, trying to show her that I could be different than Russell. Kind in a way he wasn’t. Raquel returned every soft kiss, even sought my lips when I pulled back a little. She was changing her mind about us, I was sure of it.
Feeling bolder, I cupped her other cheek, drawing her in. Her lips parted, and I ducked my tongue inside. She made a noise that sent a chill straight through me. I couldn’t believe I’d caused that erotic sound to come from her, and I really couldn’t believe it when her hands slid up my chest and snaked around my neck. Our mouths moved together in an increasingly passionate tempo, and before I knew it, I had her pressed against the bed. She folded, sitting down and laying back on it. I hovered over her, our mouths still locked as one. Then our bodies met. I was ready for her, ready for more. I rocked against her and she cried out again. I couldn’t believe it.
Full of so much love and passion I thought I’d go crazy; I broke apart from her lips. Dragging my mouth down the neck that I longed for, I told her, “We’d be great together, Raquel…perfect.”
Her body wrapped around mine, and I pressed into her again. I thought I might explode if I did that too many times. It felt so good though, I couldn’t stop. Her hips met mine, her breath as fast as my own. Then her body stiffened. She clutched my shoulder, and hissed, “Oh God, Julian…yes.”
I watched the euphoria on her face, watched her gasp and close her eyes. Was she…? I wanted to experience it with her, but I didn’t want to push her, and she’d already told Russell she didn’t want to go that far at a party. Pulling back, I watched my beautiful fairy exploding. When her face relaxed, the entire moment changed. She closed her eyes, then she hitched a sob. Alarmed, I moved away from her. “Raquel, what is it?”
Her hands flew to her face. “Oh, God…I shouldn’t be doing this.”
She rose from the bed, tears down her cheeks now. My earlier bliss evaporated at the devastation on her face, and I tenderly grabbed her hand. “Please don’t shut down on me again. Don’t turn your back on us. You like me, I know you do, and we could be amazing, Raquel.”
She looked at me, her face torn. “But I’m in love with Russell, Julian…I’m sorry.” Biting her lip, she added, “And you’re with Arianna, you shouldn’t be in love with me.”
Standing, I shook my head. “No, Arianna and I are just friends.” I cupped her cheeks. “You can’t really love him. You wouldn’t keep kissing me if you loved him.” I pointed at the bed. “That wouldn’t have happened, if you loved him.”
Twin tears rolled down her cheeks as she pulled her arm free. “I’m sorry…I have to go.”
With that, she turned and left. Another couple barreled into the room once she was gone, and I was quickly pushed out. My face was blank as Trey walked up to me. I felt numb inside. No, I felt dead. For the second time, she’d pulled me in, then pushed me away. For Russell.
Looking me over, Trey held his joint out to me. “Want to smoke now?”
I glanced down at the drugs, then back to the bedroom where Raquel had broken my heart. Again. The hole in my chest was worse than any stake wound would have been. Needing a break from pain and suffering, I twisted back to Trey. “Yeah…give it to me.”
Smiling, he did.