Chapter Nineteen
Madison
“Maybe I should get a job too.” Jess scanned the computer screen over my shoulder, taking in the pages of ads on the job seek website.
“You’re studying law, what do you need a job for?” I grumbled, beyond disheartened by the number of vacancies I wasn’t qualified for.
Jess plopped down beside me with a sigh. “Cole wants me to be a lawyer. In case you hadn’t noticed, he does like setting things up for me,” she said dryly. “Much like he’s done here with you. Don’t worry.” She patted my hand. “This is one of his better ideas. He likes organizing us lame ducks.”
“Lame ducks?” I cast Jess a sideways glance.
“Yeah, you know… Down on your luck, need a favor, need a friend. Cole laps up crap like that.” Jess bounced out of her seat again and headed off to get ready for class.
Leaving the smile to slide from my face. Lame duck? No. Cole didn’t see me like that…did he? A cold chill traveled down my spine and I thought back to the day at Crovens, how quickly he’d come up with the solution involving Jess. Was it to keep an eye on her…or to keep an eye on me?
I shook my head. Cole hadn’t liked me then. Even now, he couldn’t take me seriously…
And never would if he was paying my way.
Shit. A queasy feeling settled in the pit of my stomach. He didn’t really need me to babysit Jess. He’d done it to help me out too. I lowered my head into my hands.
I’d thought I was so brave going against my mother, hiding the truth about my relationship with Logan. But really, all I’d done was trade one lie for another, relying on Cole to run my life. I hadn’t wanted to ruffle the peaceful waters or cause grief. It was easier to bob along to someone else’s tune, so I never incurred their disappointment. Or their wrath.
When had I become so reliant on placating others I’d stopped thinking for myself?
Rolling my shoulders to release the build-up of tension, I scrolled back to the top of the page, determined to read each of the employment opportunities again. Soon I’d have to end this charade with my mother and take control of my life.
To do that, I needed money. And to get money, I needed a job.
“Experience, experience, experience.” I clicked through job adverts, one after another, after another. “Shit.” It seemed even waitresses needed experience these days, and funnily enough, no one was in the market for an ex-pageant queen who could babysit twenty-two year old women. Go figure.
“Can I borrow that red and black sweater I wore last week?” Jess poked her head around the door. “It goes great with my spangly tights.”
“Spangly?” I pushed aside my mounting despair to look down my nose at Jess. “Spangly is not in the fashion vocab. Sparkly perhaps, or even sequined. Never spangly.”
“So sorry.” Jess held back her laughter enough to deliver a mock apology. “I meant to say my bejazzled tights. Not to be confused with ve-jazzled, because believe me when I say that’s another thing entirely.”
“Oh, I believe you,” I spluttered, shaking my head. Seriously, the things that came out of that girl’s mouth… “And yes, you can wear my sweater. Or…” I drew out the sound, tempting my friend. “I have something that would look even better.”
Jess’s tongue was practically hanging out by the time I joined her at my huge walk-in closet. One thing Jess and I had in common was our love of fine clothes. I had given Jess free range, seeing as I’d never get around to wearing half of it anyway.
“Go ahead and take a look while I find what I have in mind.” I nodded toward the racks and headed for the large set of drawers where my jumpers were neatly folded between layers of tissue. No doubt Jess would dig up something other than spangly tights. I shuddered. I was counting on it.
“What’s this? Is it new?”
A gasp and the crinkle of plastic heralded Jess’s find. I knew exactly what had caught her eye. Straightening, I watched Jess peek through the plastic at the stunning designer gown I was to show off at St. Mathew’s ball in a few weeks’ time.
The hospital ball. The one my mother was attending as one of the patrons.
My stomach clenched tight.
The one I was supposed to go to with Logan.
“I’m modeling it for a charity.” I cast my eye over the exquisite glittering gown. There was fierce competition to secure the largest donation for the hospital from selling each garment. The designer had allowed me to bring the centerpiece of his collection home so I could play around with my walk and show off the gown to its full advantage.
I pulled a silver and black jumper from the drawer and handed it to Jess. “This will look super-cute with your spanglies,” I teased. “And grab that silver belt.” I pointed to the rows of accessories hanging on hooks behind the door. “It’ll go perfectly.”
“Are these the shoes that go with the gown?” Jess ignored my offer, too busy hauling the matching nine-inch plaited stilettos from the bottom of the bag. She clutched them to her chest, petting them like they were precious. “Oh my god. I have to try these.” She threw herself on the ground and fumbled with her laces, trying to get her shoes off so she could wear the ridiculously, precarious heels.
“Ah, no can do. Sorry, the designer made me promise on my life not to touch them until the show.” I scooped up the shoes. Jess would have to slobber on them from afar. No way could I let her teeter around and break her damn ankle. Cole would never forgive me.
Jess pouted. Until I drew the gown out of the dry cleaning bag to show her the full effect. The strapless bodice linked in a series of gold knotted thread, flaring into volumes of gold and black gossamer silk. Jess stood, mesmerized, running her fingers over the sleek fabric.
“Yeah. It does that to you, doesn’t it?” I agreed.
“I’ll make Cole go. If he sees you in this, he’ll totally spend a fortune buying that dress for you. And then I can borrow it!”
Cole at the ball. A whole Cinderella dream sequence unfolded in my head…until I got to the part where Logan appeared at my side.
“Uh. No. I don’t think that’s a good idea. It’s really expensive to get tickets.” I wrinkled my nose. “And the food is never that great.”
Jess’s eyes were still shining. “It’s for charity. Cole can appreciate that.”
“Knowing how Cole feels about the rich and famous, I doubt it.”
“We can’t always wait for Cole to be okay about everything,” Jess grumbled. She grabbed up her bundle of clothes and flounced out to get changed.
Leaving me to get back to my laptop and my résumé, feeling guilty as hell about living one life, but having people believe I lived another. It was getting complicated. Noelle had called the other day wondering why I hadn’t been back to lunch with the girls, and I had spun some lie instead of telling the truth.
That I’d never be back.
Why had I lied? Did part of me still want my old life, where I didn’t have to worry about money? Where decisions were made for me? All I had to do was show up and look beautiful.
I sure as hell wouldn’t have to worry about finding a job. I shut down my laptop with a snap. My résumé was a jumble of pretty words that didn’t mean anything. I was never going to get work this way.
It would be easier to go back to the life I’d known.
Glittering balls, expensive dresses…life lived on the surface.
Except something in me had changed. The cage door was open and the air of freedom beckoned. I would do anything to stay on the outside, even if it was hard and horrible and confusing. Better than sitting in captivity, knowing how much more there was out here.
And there was something I could do, I realized. Someone I knew in human resources who owed me. I tapped my fingers against the table, mind racing. Logan had already been paid for the privilege of being my ex-fiancé, thanks to my generous allowance. He must have some idea of the kind of job I would be suitable for. Maybe he even knew of something.
Yes. It was time for Logan to start earning his money.