Chapter Twenty-nine
Cole
I couldn’t stop staring.
I tried to pretend like I couldn’t see Madison, but not watching every move was like trying not to breathe. I was compelled to look, each step a punch to the heart, each time she disappeared the burn of panic reaching out to sear my self-control.
I hadn’t known what to expect, seeing her again. Maybe for her to be a little more cut-up after our break-up—certainly not to see Madison strut out on stage like nothing was wrong and blow a kiss into the crowd. That had snatched my attention all right. My breath had slammed out of my body, a hot knife of jealousy skewering me straight through my gut. I’d leaned forward in my seat, halfway to ripping her off the stage and beating my chest.
Mine. Mine. Mine.
These last few weeks had been the worst of my life. I’d walked out on Madison, all pumped up with my own self-righteousness, my total arrogance having me believe I’d had every right to treat her as I had.
Later, of course, I’d come to my senses. Oh, I’d tried to ignore it at first. I’d knocked back a few scotches with Marcus, trying to drown out the thunder of my heart under a cloud of alcohol, bury it beneath the white-hot buzz.
It hadn’t worked. Marcus, the bastard, with his new found appreciation of love and all-things Abby, had seen straight through me. He’d called me a fucking fool and told me to get my shit together. By the time I was through, I had been crying into my drink, muttering about karma.
I thought I’d lost everything that night. Madison. Jess. My business.
But once again human nature had surprised me. Jess had come to see me. Not only that, but she’d dropped her churlish attitude and offered me advice. Me! About life. About Madison.
I was still getting over it. I glanced beside me to Jess, my chest swelling with love and pride for my sister. Her eyes sparked with excitement as she commented on each dress parading down the catwalk, digging me in the ribs whenever Madison stepped on stage.
As if I didn’t realize she was there.
I’d told Jess everything. Every. Little. Thing. What had happened while I was at college, how the rest of the family had reacted after her accident, even Salamond Holdings. I had expected Jess to be devastated, angry and bitter like I was, but she’d surprised me again by shrugging.
Fucking shrugging.
“It’s in the past and it doesn’t change what happened,” she’d said. “Mom didn’t care about being on the wrong side. She never hated them, although she had every reason to. She just got on and proved she didn’t need them.”
Jess had humbled me. Then humiliated me as she’d launched into another attack over Madison.
“I know. I know.” I’d stopped her halfway through the tirade about all the dumbass things I’d done, holding up a hand to halt the deluge of recriminations I’d deserved.
“So, what are you going to do about it?” She’d surveyed me, hands on hips.
I had taken a breath. Let it out. “I don’t know,” I’d groaned.
“Then you better listen.” My sister’s face had become fierce. “Because I’m going to tell you exactly what you need to do.”
And here I sat. In the middle of the very people I’d sworn to stay away from. The haves versus the have-nots. Power. Money. My gut tightened and I rubbed the hair at my nape as Madison made another stunning entrance.
I didn’t move, couldn’t think, until she’d walked out of my view.
It was her. It had always been her.
Hell, money was only paper with pretty pictures. Love was love. Yeah. I loved Madison. I’d been free-falling from fifty thousand feet ever since we’d met.
And the impact of losing her was like landing without a parachute. Hard. Devastating.
I didn’t blame Madison for going back to the lifestyle she knew. Seeing her now. Poised, polished, so damn perfect. Right where she belonged. Madison wasn’t just part of this crowd—she was the very heart of it.
I couldn’t compete with that.
The way I’d treated her…not trusting her…the constant accusations… I lowered my eyes, my stomach knotting. I was no better than Patricia St James, blaming her for every shitty thing in my life when she’d been the very best thing in it.
I would gladly sacrifice all my money, my development, if it meant she’d come back. I’d hobnob with her mother. Bow and scrape to the Langfords. I meant it too. Jess had gotten hold of Thomas, and I’d met with him, intending to have it out with him and bargain my business against my love for Madison.
Only to find out I’d been wrong once again. Thomas had never been part of Russell’s nefarious plan. In fact, he was helping me fight against Salamond Holdings. I didn’t know what kind of strings Thomas could pull, but dealings around the injunction had suddenly gone quiet.
Thomas had also provided last minute tickets for tonight’s ball. Thomas and I still had a ways to go to make things right, but he seemed eager to cross family lines and initiate a relationship with his long-lost cousins. Jess was delighted.
It had taken me time to get over the fact I’d been wrong about Thomas. My sense of right was the one thing that had gotten me through the very worst parts of my life. That I could look at myself and know I was doing the right thing. It had been a huge blow to find out I’d been wrong.
And in my heart, hadn’t I always known the truth about Madison? Shame for my actions had held me back from contacting her straight away. I only had one chance to set things straight and I didn’t want to blow it. Losing her once had made me cautious. A feeling I wasn’t used to. I had no right to expect her trust after what I’d done, although it wouldn’t stop me from trying.
And I was sick of waiting. I got up from my seat as Madison stepped behind the curtain again, only to find the restraining arm of Jess holding me back.
“Not yet,” she cautioned, giving me a stern look. “You’ll get your chance.”
I didn’t know how I got through the rest of the show without breaking her fingers, ripping my seat to shreds and tossing myself at the stage. But finally, the spotlights faded and the compere came out to hype up the crowd to make generous bids at the back of the venue. Scared I’d miss Madison, I didn’t move until I saw her emerge from the curtain with some of the other models to rousing applause. Only then did my breath loosen.
Unrestrained, I jumped up and headed straight for her.
Shit.
There were too many people swamping the models. I lost track of Madison as she melted into the crowd. Scanning the room, I caught sight of Jess up close and personal with one of the medical staff. Arguing. I rolled my eyes. That’d be Jess. Normally I would have waded in to check she was okay, but I had more important things to take care of. And—as Jess so rightly pointed out—she could look after herself.
Damn it. I’d lost Madison. My heart plummeted as I cast an eye around the room, searching for the leggy blonde I loved with all my heart.
Had she seen me and made her escape? My hands tightened into fists. No matter. I’d track her clear across Baltimore if it came to that. No way was I letting her go tonight.
I began wending my way through the crowd to the door, thinking to head Madison off at the exit.