Nate
“Thanks for this, man,” I say, looking across at Brax sitting beside me.
“Anytime.”
“I should be with Tara looking after her. Fucking shoulder,” I say, lifting it but instantly grimacing as the soreness turns to pain.
“Had to get it fixed, man.”
Sighing, I know he’s right. “So those fuckers, the Deathseekers, tried to screw with us. When we turned up to the address that Precious gave us, they were there. And we were ambushed.”
He snaps his head to the side, his eyes wide. “What the fuck? Why am I just hearing of this?”
“Wait, there’s more.”
“Fuck. I don’t like the sound of this.”
“It was because of Hunter that I found my father. I’ve been working with him, and honestly believe he is a better option for the Deathseekers.”
“He’s a fucking kid!”
“Some say that about me. But look. I stepped up, and I believe he can do the same.”
“I think your judgement is seriously misplaced.”
Glaring at him, I know I have my work cut out for me, convincing him that the Deathseekers are the right option to take over the drug deal. “You were right about the girl being his Achilles heel. And I’ve used that to my full advantage. Plaza is now under Savage management. It’s in his interest to work with me.”
“Work with you on what, exactly?” He sighs with exaggeration.
“The drugs—"
“No fucking way.”
He frowns and clutches the steering wheel tighter, his eyes stare widely through the windshield.
“You need to hear me out, man,” I say, trying to push myself up, adjusting in my seat. “They fucking ambushed us. I had to give them something. I had to buy my way out of the fucking situation. Hunter spoke with me and gave me the address to where my father was holding Tara. I owe him my fucking life for that.”
“He did the right thing. And for that, you owe him nothing.” Brax’s words are as cold as his demeanor.
“He may have done the right thing, but he went against his own father and club to make that decision. And the only way out of this mess was to promise Brewer the drug deal with you.”
Unexpectedly, I jerk forward, the wheels screech as he brakes harshly, forcing the car to halt. “You did fucking what now?”
“Believe me, I had no choice. And I need you to go along with it.”
“Are you out of your goddamn mind?”
“I did what I had to. I thought you would understand.”
“This is a business deal, Nate. Not some whore you can share around. I don’t deal with the Deathseekers for a reason. I don’t fucking trust them.”
“I don’t trust Brewer. But I do trust Hunter. He knows his father’s days are numbered. And when I deal with him, Hunter will be the obvious choice. He’ll be the one to take the head of the table.”
“You’re crazy, you know that right? You have a lot riding on those ifs and buts. Risky fucking strategy.”
“It’s worth the risk, man.” I let my head drop back against the headrest and Brax pulls away, continuing our journey home.
After a short drive, we pull up outside the house. “Think on it, man. Let’s get together and talk over it again. Meet with them, make it all look legit.”
“Go look after your girl.”
“Thanks, man,” I say, offering him my hand.
Knowing Tara is inside, I leap from the car and race over to the door. My shoulder hurts bad. But in this moment, I don’t care. I hate that we had to be separated at the hospital and she came home without me. Digging for my keys, I unlock the door and close it quietly behind me. I head into the living room, but she isn’t there. Taking the stairs, I head to the bedroom and a small amount of light streams from the open door of the room.
“Nate?” she calls, her voice sounding a little distressed.
“Yeah, it’s me,” I let her know, making my way into the room. Her now short hair is tied up into a messy bun, the cuts on her neck covered with gauze. Her face is bruised and swollen, and just the sight of her fucked-up face has my blood pumping with anger.
“Thank God it’s you.” Holding her chest, she looks up at me with those beautiful eyes of hers. “How’s the shoulder?”
“Painful, but I’m just glad to be back here with you. How are you, baby? I’m sorry… so fucking sorry. I should never have let this happen.”
“Please… don’t,” she murmurs, tapping the bed, her eyes pleading with me as she gives me an open invitation.
Pushing off my boots, I head over to the bed.
Sliding down beside her I reach up and place my hand on the side of her face. “I need to know that you’re okay. No pretense. Just the truth.”
“Okay? Not really.” She shakes her head. “But I am relieved and grateful for you for coming to my rescue. I’m not sure I would’ve survived much longer with that… that... monster.” Pressing her lips together, her eyes flutter shut and I feel her shudder against me.
Grimacing, guilt hits me like a sucker punch to the stomach. “This shouldn’t have happened. I’m so sorry.”
“He’s gone now.” Her voice is no more than a whisper.
“Just us, baby.” I kiss her lightly on the lips, but she doesn’t reciprocate. I pause for a second before pulling back and searching her watery eyes for a sign. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m sorry. With everything that’s happened, I’m a mess.”
I swallow down the lump of nerves that has formed in my throat. “Don’t push me away. Please.”
“Just hold me,” she pleads, burying her head against my chest.
* * *
My eyes are glued to the clock on the table beside the bed. Tara has finally drifted off and right now, all I want is my nicotine fix. Gently, I ease out from beneath Tara, careful not to disturb her. Heading downstairs, I make my way out to the yard, slipping down into the swing seat. I pull out my smokes and lighter and tip the packet. Grabbing a cigarette between my teeth, I let my thumb slide over the wheel until the flame ignites. With a shudder, I can’t help but close my eyes tightly, thinking back to the image of my father burning in the chair. I made him pay. I revenged my own father and all the fucked-up things he did to Tara, and without a doubt, I did the right thing. So why do I feel conflicted. Why does my throat feel thick with emotion and a hefty dose of guilt?
What if I’ve turned into my father? What if I’m no better than the monster whose life I just ended?
Shaking my head, I lift the cigarette to my lips and take a huge drag. What I did to my father will stay with me forever. But so will the pain of knowing what he did to Tara. Stepping from the swing, I pace, slowly, back and forth. I need something to take the edge of. To make me forget and push out this overwhelming feeling of guilt. Snapping my eyes open, I grab my phone, dialing his number.
“Prez? Are you okay, man?” Davo says as he answers the phone.
“I need you to talk me down, brother.”
“What is it? What’s wrong?”
“I’m fucked up.”
“This is about your father?” he asks with a sigh.
He knows me so well. “How d’ya know?”
“Because only the good guys feel guilt. But hear this. You did the right fucking thing, man. Your father would’ve stopped at nothing.”
“But what I’ve done.” I pause, resting my smoke against my lips while my fingers work over my forehead, pressing and pinching. “Makes me just as bad as him.”
“No! Don’t you say that. You are ten times the man Jeffries was. You love hard and you honor your brothers. You need to get this shit out of your head, brother. Your girl needs you. More than ever. Go take care of her. Show her that you fought for her for a reason.”
Nodding, I allow my head to drop back. “Fuck, you’re right, man.”
“Hell yeah, I am.” His chuckle vibrates through the phone and I can’t help but smile.
“How’s Melody doing?”
“She’s doing really well, man. All credit to you.”
“To the club,” I reply, correcting him.
“What are we planning to do about the Deathseekers?”
Rolling my eyes, I let out a huge breath. “I’m working on it. But Brax ain’t happy. Dealing with the Deathseekers is an absolute no from him.”
“It’s a risk, brother. Brax builds his business on the things he can control. Good, sound business decisions. That’s how he’s so successful.”
“I need him to see that Hunter is the future for the Deathseekers.”
“We just have to be sure that when we take out Brewer, that Hunter doesn’t turn on you for killing his father. He’s young, and so far the MC is all he knows.”
“He ratted on his own club.” I take one last drag of my smoke before dropping it to the ground and crushing it with the tip of my boot. “He’s been helping me. His own club will turn on him the minute they find out. We all know what happens if they find a rat amongst the club.”
“Leverage!” he speaks excitedly.
“Exactly!”
“Fuck, brother. You’re good at this.”
Chuckling, I lift my head and turn back toward the house. “I never knew I wanted to be prez. Sure, it’s in my blood. But there’s more to leading a club than being a descendent of the previous leader. It’s about thinking smart and putting others first. All I want you guys to know is that everything I do is for the good of the club.”
“We know. Now go. Take care of Tara. She needs you more than we do right now.”
“I’m worried about her, man. She seems distant. Just don’t know what the fuck to say to make her feel better.”
“Just be there.”
“I’ll try, man. Listen, thanks for this. I appreciate it, brother.”
“Always.”
Pulling the phone away from my ear, I throw it down against the swing before dropping down on it, lifting my legs and allowing it to swing. I drop my head back, letting out a huge breath. How the hell am I going to fix this? Fix her?