Chapter 15
Playing With Fire
Amberly
Silence penetrated the room, crawling into existence, uninvited. The beating of my heart became volatile, as if it would explode at any second. I’d never said something so bold before. I could feel the initial strength he had given me slip away, no way of grasping it or coaxing it back to me, when we were apart. Each time we spent around each other it came back full force. I knew he believed in me, in a way that made me believe in myself.
I could feel how his heart slammed against his chest, confirming that we were both playing with fire. I couldn’t even speak, every vowel catching at the base of my throat, sticking like a web to create a barrier. We stood there, staring at each other. I didn’t doubt he could feel my heart as well, almost as if both of them wanted to be closer than what we were allowing.
I licked my lips, waiting for one of us to be able to say something. Anything. It’s as though the world stopped as the minutes ticked by in slow motion, almost creating an alternate universe where seconds lasted for minutes and minutes for hours. I closed my eyes and lowered my head, letting my confession replay in my mind, wondering if I should take it back. At this point it was becoming uncomfortable. I wanted to know every thought that was crossing through his mind from the moment his words ended and my own began.
I craned my neck up to look back up at him and he peeled me away from him, just enough so I could see straight into his eyes. His jaw ticked as his eyes flickered across my face. I had no idea what he was searching for, but he must have found it, because he crushed his lips against mine. Without meaning to, a moan escaped from within my throat. His body tensed when another moan reached his ears and he let his hands fall lower, to my hips. His fingers dug into my skin and the kiss became frantic. Hungry. Needy. He pressed my body into his, which meant I could feel how much he wanted me. I reached up and clasped my hands around his neck, standing on my tiptoes. I couldn’t think about anything other than how he felt against me. How his lips caressed my own. How he was making me feel wanted. I couldn’t think of another time in my life I had ever felt a guy want me as bad as it seemed Bryant wanted me.
Without breaking the kiss, he lifted me up and wrapped my legs around his waist. He walked forward until the toes of his shoes hit the wooden frame of the hotel bed. He lowered me down, kicked off his shoes, and pinned my hands above my head. Holding both of my arms with one hand, he let his free hand skate down the side of my body. I shuddered under his touch. I felt it all, like I’d been cloned with a heightened sense. The tiny body hairs on my arms stood up showing him what he was doing to me. I broke the kiss, arching my back as goosebumps erupted across my body. He dipped his head down so his lips could reach my neck and he paused, his breathing rapid and uncontrolled.
Our hearts kicked against our chests, grasping for each other, beat after unbearable beat. This had to be the closest I had ever been to anyone. His kisses reached right below my neck for the second time. Right then I wanted him to claim me as his. A little possessive in all the right ways.
“I want you.” He whispered before allowing his lips to connect with my neck.
What he didn’t know is he already had me. Every. Single. Part. Of. Me. I was his and I wanted him to be mine.
I couldn’t think, and I was pretty sure my breathing had fallen off course. His tongue came out and touched my neck before he pulled back just a little and blew out a breath over the wet spot he had created. My eyes rolled back. I bit my lip to prevent myself from squirming too much beneath his touch. My skin couldn’t decide which temperature it wanted to own. Hot and cold. Back and forth it went, indecisive though the soul within wasn’t. Whatever this was between us was passionately powerful. The kind of intense that made anyone who witnessed it wanting to experience it.
He nipped at my ear before whispering again, “I want you, Amberly.”
I couldn’t respond. I wanted to but I couldn’t. Either he was asking permission or he was confessing the three words to me. I didn’t know which one it was but either way, I wanted him too.
His free hand lifted my shirt so my abdomen was exposed. He let his fingers dance across my skin and it sent another group of goosebumps down my spine. I could feel my heartbeat pounding inside of my chest and my breathing intensified when he unbuttoned my jeans. His lips found mine again as he worked his hand further down. At this point, I couldn’t separate any of my emotions. I felt them all as his hand dipped further into my jeans.
“Tell me to stop.” He murmured against my lips.
I couldn’t. I didn’t want him to stop. I wanted him to keep going. For whatever reason, I wanted him to touch me, in places no one had touched for over a year. He was erasing my sadness the further he went. Bit by bit, my memories evaporated and were replaced with what we were doing in this moment. Exhilarating. I had no idea what that was until the first moment he’d kissed me. Each kiss was more extraordinary than the last. I wanted his lips to be the last lips I’d ever have against my own.
When his fingers touched in between my legs, I gasped and bucked beneath him. “Tell me to stop, Amberly. I won’t stop unless you say it.”
He was pleading with me now, his fingers still touching what was beneath my clothing. “You’re so wet.” He choked on the words, finding it difficult to even say them.
Everything he was saying to me was sending my senses into overdrive. I could hear the desire in his voice. Feel it in the way he touched me. He kept running his fingertips up and down and I heard myself whimper. I couldn’t control it. I didn’t want to control it. He was teasing me while asking me to tell him to stop. It was cruelty at its finest. I wanted the type of cruelty he offered.
“Tell me to stop.” He repeated, his head falling between my shoulder and my cheek. He kissed my neck. “Tell me to stop.” He was begging me. I had control over how far he would take this. A game with two separate endings. I could tell him to stop but the second he pulled away, I would feel empty. I could say nothing and let my actions speak louder than my words, but that had me wondering what we would feel when it was finished.
I tried to find the words. “I don’t want you to stop.” The words came out strained. My eyes fluttered closed, and my chin lifted to the air, allowing him more access to my neck.
He groaned and pushed my jeans down, easing my panties to the side. I drew in a sharp breath as his fingers connected with my wetness. I knew within seconds I would be pushed to an orgasm.
“I love when you bite your lip like that.” He nibbled at my lip, pulling it from between my teeth.
Then his phone rang. The ring tone blared through the room, halting our movements and breaths. “Shit.” He let go of my hands and reached for his phone that sat snug in his back pocket. He showed me the screen as Adam’s name lit it up. He pushed himself from the bed and answered it.
With my hands still placed above my head and my jeans pulled down, I laid there. I didn’t move as Bryant paced the hotel room. I couldn’t even concentrate on what he was saying because my skin buzzed from his touch. The cool air settled against my stomach, when seconds ago it was on fire. Reluctantly, I pulled my jeans up and fastened them. I got to me feet right as Bryant ended the call from Adam.
He stared at me, one hand grasping his phone. For several moments we looked at each other. He cleared his throat and shoved his phone back into his pocket.
“He said he could get us another hotel room. There’s one right down the street with two available rooms. I guess Blondie downstairs called him for us.” He chuckled, but I could still sense nervousness in his voice.
It was as if the past ten minutes hadn’t happened. He hadn’t just had his hand down my pants, touching me the way no other man had or could.
I contemplated the offer Adam conjured up. If we stayed in this room together, things would be taken a lot further and neither of us would be able to stop it. Bryant had no restraint so he had asked me to stop it. I failed.
He held out his hand for me to take. “Let’s go grab something to eat and we’ll talk about it.”
Satisfied with that, I took his hand. I didn’t want to talk about how bad I didn’t want Adam to get us another room. I didn’t want to admit how I was bordering on ‘slut’ territory, or the fact I really didn’t care. I would let Bryant do it over and over again and wouldn’t give a damn about the repercussions.
“Where do you want to eat?”
I grabbed my purse on the way out. I couldn’t think about eating. It wasn’t what I wanted to do. I was light headed and weak, my hunger geared toward one thing only: Bryant and I finishing what we had started. Needing him in this way didn’t seem healthy. Weren’t a lot of relationships like that though? I didn’t want to be dependent on him in that way. I didn’t want him to give me things I couldn’t make myself become. Hope. Strength. Happiness. Weren’t those things you were supposed to acquire before involving someone else into your world? Wasn’t that what I had been lacking before I had gotten with Eric? I didn’t want to feel whole with Bryant. I wanted to feel whole without him. I wanted him to be an addition to the person I already was.