Savy

The past two weeks have progressed the same as always, constant fear, looking over my shoulder, time with Ena, and work. The usual. What’s unusual is how many sexy bikers that have become regulars at The Jungle. Not just the two I saw a couple of weeks ago, but a lot of Havoc members frequent The Jungle now. I’m not sure what that’s about, but the eye candy is much appreciated. The view is lovely, but the tips are better. Bikers are generous tippers.

Who knew?

“Hey, Cherry,” I say to the dancer approaching the bar.

“Hey, Diamond,” she replies as she plops down on the bar stool and rubs her sore foot.

“Can I get you some water?”

“Yes. It’s hot as ball sweat in here,” she says.

A peal of laughter shoots from my mouth. Slapping my hand over my mouth, my eyes bug out and Cherry joins in, while her shoulders shake uncontrollably. The temperature at the bar is fine, but being under the bright neon lights on stage can dehydrate the dancers.

“Hot as ball sweat?” I laugh again and pass her a glass of cold water. “Here you go.”

“Thank you.” Cherry smiles her lopsided smile. I see why she’s so popular among the customers. She’s beautiful. Red hair, big boobs, and an hourglass figure women pay thousands of dollars for. Sexy, smart, and nice, she’s the total package. She’s the closest thing I have to a friend at the club. Hell, Joss is my only other friend in Sage.

“How do you like all the sexy bikers we’ve had here lately?” she asks.

Smiling at Cherry I reply, “Hot scary bikers with tattoos and leather cuts hanging around all the time? I love it! But, I keep my distance.”

Cherry gives me a perplexed look.

“What?” I ask confused.

“How do you know that their cuts are called cuts?”

“Um,” I begin, “I read trashy romance novels. Bikers may be sort of my thing.” I’m embarrassed that I told Cherry my secret.

“So why are you keeping your distance?” she asks with knitted brows.

“I like to read about bikers. I don’t want to be with one,” I say, trying not to sound suspicious.

Cherry raises one eyebrow and tilts her head to the side like she’s trying to figure out if I'm lying or not. Of course I'm lying. Who wouldn’t want to have hot sex with a biker? But I can't allow myself to lose focus. I need to remember why I keep men, all men, at a distance.

“Well, more for me because they are fine!” Her teasing eases the tension and questions dancing between us.

“Get ‘em, girl!” I joke. Sometimes I wish I could be more like Cherry, but I have Ena to think about, so I can’t let my guard down. I did that once, and it was an epic failure. I’m not letting it happen again. “Hey, you’ve been talking to some of the guys, right?”

“You know it!” she sings with a twinkle in her eye. Cherry has been hunting bikers, and from the looks of it, she’s been catching her prey just fine. “Why do you ask?”

“I need to know someone’s name. He’s around a lot, but I don’t know his name.”

Her eyebrows snap to her hairline as surprise flashes across her face. Her cartoonish expression is hilarious, and a ball of laughter explodes from my body, my shoulders shaking.

“It’s just a name Cherry, don’t look at me like that.”

“Diamond, you have to be careful. Don’t go asking a bunch of questions about Havoc. They are a ruthless MC. And by ruthless, I mean all the dark, evil, horrible shit running through your mind right now, they are that and much more. You don’t want to get involved with Havoc, girl.”

“What? No! Cherry,” I blush, “I just want to put a name to a face, that’s all.”

“Just be careful. They don’t like people snooping around.”

“Despite what you may think, Cherry, I can take care of myself. I just need a name, okay?”

With a heavy sigh she gives me what I’ve been craving since the moment my eyes landed on the dark eyed biker that looks like the very thing I should run far, far away from.

“Who is it?”

I nod my head toward my dangerous biker. He is sitting at a table across the room. His table is directly across the bar, and I’ve been keeping an eye on him all night. He’s caught me a few times and each time, butterflies dance in my belly. I’ve dreamt about him almost every night since I first saw him. I know it’s wrong, and creepy, and we can never be together or even speak, but I can dream, can’t I? If I were a different girl with a different life, I’d try a life with this man, but I’m not. So I have to settle for fantasizing about what life would be like with a biker, this biker.

“That’s Diablo. He’s President of the mother chapter here in Sage.” Looking nervous she continues, “Diamond, I’d stay away from him. They don’t call him the devil for nothing. He is the fucking devil.”

Her eyebrows knit and a look of worry is plastered across her face. She’s the closest thing I have to a friend at the club, so I try to reassure her.

“Trust me, I have no plans to mess with him. I only want to know his name.”

But that’s not entirely true. I want Diablo, but I know I can never have him so I want to know the name of the man that visits me in my dreams. Cherry studies my face, trying to see the lies in my eyes, but I’m too good at hiding them. I learned early, your eyes give you away so I keep the mask in place.

She sees nothing in my eyes, and soon Cherry is gabbing like a school girl about anything and everything. She’s interested in one of the bikers, but from what she has told me so far, he is only interested in casual sex. Cherry is looking for a long–term relationship. I’m not sure bikers are capable of relationships so I try to keep my opinions to myself. Cherry is my friend, but I don’t want to become too close to her. I like her and if I let her get close, it will just be harder when I have to leave.

It is not a matter of if I will have to leave, it’s when. The time will come, and again I will have to leave the people I have grown to care for. So to prevent that from happening, I am keeping my distance from the people I could care about. I try to be friendly with the girls at the club, but I never let them get too close. I don’t want them to get hurt. If something ever happened to anyone because they associated themselves with me, I would be devastated. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself. I can’t let that happen, so I keep a wall up to protect them.

The rest of my night at the bar goes easily. The customers are charming and the tips are good. That is until I am leaving for the night. After my shift, I walk out of the back door of the club, and a tight, clammy fist wraps around my upper arm, stopping my progress out of the building.

Panic clogs my throat and the scream I want to let out becomes stuck, unable to escape my tight airway. Turning my head, I see a black vest and one–percent patch much like the patch I see daily, but it differs from the one I’ve grown to recognize the past few weeks. The colors are different. The diamond is yellow, not red, and my throat tenses more.

“Where are you going, baby?” An alcohol coated voice groans into my ear. The heat of his breath hitting my neck, throws the panic I feel out the window. I thrash, attempting to fight his hold.

Not again.

Never again.

I fight harder.

Dropping my bag, I swing with a fist toward the face I’ve never seen before. The pale blue eyes are beady and lack warmth, or any emotion at all.

Soulless.

“Let go of me, you drunk bastard!” I scream. But it doesn’t work.

He tightens his hold on my arm instead of releasing me. The feeling brings me back to when I was a child and suffered the same fate. I fight harder, throwing more punches. I thrash more and he slides his other hand up my body, squeezing my breast on his ascent to cover my mouth. He covers my nose, blocking my airway, but it doesn’t stop me. I continue to battle the man who is assaulting me.

Tears are streaming down my face, and I do the only thing I can think of in this position. I bring up my knee as hard as I can, kneeing the son of a bitch in the balls. He grunts in pain, and for a moment, releases my arm and airway. As soon as he lets me go, I scramble backwards, falling on my ass, but I keep moving when I hit the hard ground. Trying to get as far away from him as possible, but feeling like I’m getting nowhere. As I get to my feet, I hear him recovering from my blow and I turn to run, but hit a wall that wraps its arms around me, halting my escape. I let out a frustrated, terrified cry. He has a friend to help him. There is no way I am getting away from him a second time.

“What the fuck is going on, Diamond?” At the sound of the unfamiliar voice I stop my struggle. Glancing up to the man holding me, Diablo’s chiseled face shines like a beacon in the night. I take in a deep breath to steady me, bringing in his scent.

Oil and dirt.

I don’t allow myself to bask in the scent of this magnificent man. I need to get the fuck away from him in case he is here to rape me too.

“Let me the fuck go,” I scream. Tears are still falling, but my body is still. I’m paralyzed in place.

“I asked you a fuckin’ question.”

“Fuck you! I said let me go!” My words are strong, but I’m too afraid to pull away. I don’t know Diablo, hell I only learned his name earlier today. Diablo doesn’t let me go so I stay still in his arms, too afraid to piss him off. “That son of a bitch tried to rape me!” I continue to scream, my voice sounding more hysterical. “I kneed him in the balls and I’ll cut his dick off if I get the chance. Now let me the fuck go!” Only my shoulders move because he is still holding me tight, but his grip is not rough. He is just holding me in place, not hurting me. It’s crazy what your mind notices when it believes you will be raped and murdered.

Focus, Savy!

“Loco! Get the fuck over here,” he bellows. The biker with the dead eyes, approaches, and my body gives me away. I shake uncontrollably as he approaches. My back is to him, but I can feel his stare boring into my body. Diablo continues to hold me, but he is looking at Loco.

“Yea, boss?” he asks. It’s like he didn’t just have my knee in his crotch. Like nothing ever happened.

I shiver more.

“Is what she said true?” he asks.

I freeze.

He doesn’t believe me?

He doesn’t fucking believe me!

They’re bikers, they will always stick together. Just like cops, they stick together too.

“Nah, boss. She’s fuckin’ lyin’. She wanted to give me some pussy here in the ally, but freaked out when she heard someone coming. I’m guessin’ she’s trying to save face, ya’ know?”

“Yeah, I know,” he says.

I stare up into his handsome face. He is so powerful and dangerous, but I know I can’t trust him. I know he heard my scream. Otherwise, why else would he come back here? But he believes everything this asshole just said to him. I have to get out of here.

“Get the fuck outta here, Loco.”

Loco turns and leaves with a sick smirk on his face. It’s just Diablo and I standing with his arms wrapped around my body. The shakes racking my body are getting stronger. My need to get away just minutes before was fueled by adrenaline, but that is now gone, and my body is struggling to stay standing. My legs feel heavy, my body lagging from my struggle with Loco and my shift behind the bar. Despite feeling like I will throw up and pass out, I move, pulling away from Diablo, and he releases me. It’s strange, but I miss the warmth that his embrace provided just a moment before.

“Are you okay?” he asks with sincerity.

“No, Diablo. I am not all right! That piece of shit tried to rape me and you let him go!” My shrieking bounces off the walls, and he flinches as I stumble further from him. I don’t want to be near him, despite my body’s comfort in his arms.

“I’ll deal with Loco.”

“Yes, I’m sure you will. People like you stick together. I’m not stupid. I know that asshole will go on trying to rape someone else. I only hope she has a gun to blow his fucking brains out,” I say without blinking an eye.

“He won’t have the opportunity.” His words are a vow.

I see the promise of revenge in his eyes, but I can’t believe his words are true. “Yeah, well that’s nice. I need to get going,” I say while grabbing my discarded bag.

“Let me take you home.”

“No!” I scream. “I got it. Just stay the fuck away from me. And you can tell your brothers to stay the fuck away from me too.”

“Look, I’m trying to help you. I said I would deal with Loco.” His jet black eyes bore into mine.

“The only help I want is for you and the rest of your gang, or club, or whatever the fuck you are, to leave me the hell alone. I’m not your property you can paw over and do whatever you please.”

“I know you’re freaked out, but you don’t have to worry about anyone touching you again.”

I leave the ally on shaky legs without saying another word. Diablo doesn’t follow me and I'm thankful for that. I don’t think I can deal with anything else right now. I walk to the nearest bus stop, and wait for the city bus to come. My car still isn’t fixed, but I’ll be damned if I let a biker take me home. They are all the same. Dangerous, abusive motherfuckers who don’t give a shit about women.

The sun is just beginning to rise and I exit the bus and walk to my small house. I need to get my car fixed soon. It takes too much time to get home from work. Instead of going right to sleep, I make a modest breakfast for Ena, oatmeal with nuts and orange juice. She loves oatmeal, but I try to mix it up for her when I can.

I have to work later today so after breakfast I make my way to my bedroom where I don’t sleep. I’ve been abused so much in my past that my near rape last night doesn’t register. At least not the way it should. I should be shaking and traumatized, but I’m not. I feel numb to my experience with Loco. After laying down for several hours without falling to sleep, I get up and shower. Ena is in the living room reading a book when I come down the hall.

“Hey, Pip.”

“Hey, Sav. Couldn’t sleep?”

“I slept a little.” I smile. My smile doesn’t cover the lie.

“You’ve only been back there for a few hours and I heard you tossing. I’m sorry something is bothering you. Anything I can do to help?”

“Nope,” I say, popping my p. “Just finish reading your book.”

“Okay,” she says with reluctance. Returning to the pages of her book, she glances in my direction every few minutes, worry wrinkling her beautiful face.