“There is no place for anger in your life, my sweet child. Anger will only drown you.”

I laugh harshly. “No anger? Are you kidding me? My best friend is gone. I found out my family isn’t my family. What do you expect me to be? Skipping on moonbeams that my life turned to crap?

The tall woman looks down on me, her eyes showing sorrow. “It will all make sense one day, my child.”

 

We end up near the mall, Jaxson pulling into an old, brick, warehouse-type building. Jaxson gets out of the car, walking around to open the door for me.

“Do you have a drawing pad in your bag?” he asks, holding the car door open. I nod and reach in, digging around in my bag, pulling out my sketchbook and pencils.

Once he’s got my supplies he closes the door and locks the car, leading me through the door of the red-brick warehouse.

The door closes behind me and I freeze, the scent of sweat assaulting my senses.

“A gym? That’s your favorite place?” I ask, completely confused, trying hard not to grimace. People are working out on various machines. Two men are boxing together in a ring in the middle of the room.

Jaxson reaches back and grabs my hand. “Don’t you know the saying, ‘Never judge a book by its cover?’ Trust me, this place is more than meets the eye.”

“If you say so,” I respond as he guides me past sweat-covered men and women towards a door at the back of the gym.

As Jaxson goes to reach for the door handle, the door swings open and a giant of a man steps out, almost running straight into Jax.

His eyes lift to see Jax and a grin overcomes his face. “Hey, Jax, long time no see.”

They shake hands, pulling each other in for a manly hug when the newcomer notices me standing behind Jax.

“Why, hello there.” He pushes Jax aside with a grin and holds out his hand for me to shake. “I’m Derek, but you can call me ‘D’.” He winks taking my offered hand and offering a kiss.

Jax pulls him away from me, all the while shaking his head. “Don’t worry, Val. Derek is harmless, he just likes to flirt. His wife would kill him if she found him with anyone else.”

I look over at Derek with his handsome face and bright green eyes. He would definitely make a woman very happy. He smiles, noticing my appraisal. “Unfortunately he’s right. My wife would kill me if I went anywhere else. Though I do have a brother who is currently in the market for a girlfriend if you’re interested?” he asks, raising his eyebrows hopefully.

“Uh, yeah, I’m not too interested in a relationship right now, but thank you.” I smile, trying not to laugh. He seems like a playful guy. Like a guy version of Nat.

Jax intertwines our hands and pulls me away from Derek, the move feeling a little possessive. “While it was nice to see you Derek, I’m taking Val to the garden.”

Derek nods, a light of understanding in his eyes. “Okay, gotcha. Just lock the door so no one interrupts you.”

Jaxson tugs me after him and the door slams shut behind me before I can even say goodbye. My heart rate picks up in the darkness and Jaxson keeps pulling me along with him. “Uh, Jax? Is there a light somewhere?  I can’t see anything,” I complain, trying to use the hand that is free to feel around me.

“No light. Not yet at least. Just trust me, okay?”

I don’t respond, not quite sure how to. Trust is a big deal for me. Jax continues to guide me through the dark until a small light begins to grow. It’s a beautiful turquoise and has me more intrigued than ever.

“This place is extremely special to me, so please don’t tell anyone about it.” As we get closer to the soft, glowing light it becomes colder and I start to wish I had brought a jacket.

Jax pauses and keeps hold of my hand. The light is only a small slit peeking around what I believe is a door.

“Derek and I found this place not long ago. We both bought the gym to protect it. I need you to promise you won’t tell anyone else. Only my brothers and Derek know of this place,” he explains, giving my hand a squeeze.

“Okay, I promise. What is it?”

“You’ll see,” he says cryptically before opening the door to a whole other world.

The gasp that slips from my lips is full of wonder. The glowing turquoise light is from hundreds of plants that seem to be growing from the wall. No matter which direction I turn, the plants are everywhere.

“What is this?” I ask, completely awed.

Jaxson smiles at me, his eyes filled with warmth. “We call this place the garden. It’s a little below street level. I don’t know if you noticed the way the floor seemed to tilt as we walked. Derek and I came across it when we were seventeen. It had a calming effect on us and I thought this would be the perfect place for you to get some peace and talk.”

I look around at the furniture they’ve added. A small table and a sofa type couch in the middle of the large room. I walk straight over to the sofa and sit down, pulling my legs up and crossing them.

Jaxson hands me my drawing materials before opening the drawer in the table and pulling out a notebook and pen. I watch as he opens it and gets comfortable before starting to write.

“You write?” I ask, surprised. Carter mentioned he wanted to be a writer but I thought he was messing with me.

He nods, his eyes still on the page as he writes. “Yep. Writing is my escape. Just like I imagine your drawing is for you.”

I look down at the sketch pad in my hands and turn the page, starting to draw this beautiful place. The soft glow of the plants has me extremely fascinated.

Over the next few hours I draw what my mind demands. The drawing of the plants does not even begin to show their beauty. I would love to get back here with my pastels and try again.

I started to draw Natalie. My heart guided me with each picture until I got to the last, tears running down my cheeks, the pain of the memory overwhelming.

Natalie and I both standing with an arm around each other the night of our prom. We went as each other’s dates, trying to make a statement. It was one of the best nights we ever had.

As I start to sob Jaxson stops his writing, putting his notebook and pen on the table before taking my sketch pad and pencils from me. He pulls me into his lap and I cry.

I don’t know how long I sob, but Jaxson lets me rest in his arms until the tears finally subside. When they do I look up into his eyes and mutter a soft thank you.

He smiles at me with compassion. “Okay, stage one is complete. Now it’s time for stage two. Tell me about Natalie,” he coaxes, reaching up to push a loose strand of hair away from my face. It’s only then I realize I’m still in his lap and move back to my seat on the couch.

“Stage one?” I ask.

“Yes, stage one: let the pain out. Stage two is talking about the source of your pain.”

“Oh, okay.” I debate whether or not I want to talk about Natalie. I mean, what can I say? There’s no possible way to describe how amazing she was.

As if sensing my dilemma, Jaxson starts off by asking me a question. “Natalie was more than your best friend, wasn’t she?”

“She wasn’t just my best friend. She was my sister. The only one who was there for me when I needed it.”

Jaxson listens as I tell him all about her. The little things we did together. The pranks she used to play on me. The times when I’d try to retaliate but she would always know before I did something. I talked for hours and if it seemed to get awkward Jax would ask more questions, starting me talking again. I even told him all about my desire to find out what actually happened to Natalie.

When I am finally talked out Jax gets to his feet, clapping his hands together eagerly. “Excellent. Now we’re on to stage three, my favorite stage.” He grins, holding out a hand to help me up.

“Uh … what exactly is stage three?” I ask, taken aback by how excited he is.

The look in his eyes has me a little wary. “Stage three, Val, is the best stage. Stage three is fighting back.”

I don’t ask more questions as he leads me back through the dark. As we walk this time I notice just what he meant about the slanted floor. You can feel the difference on the incline, that’s for sure.

We get back out into the gym and it’s emptied quite a bit. Jax still has hold of my hand and I notice we left my stuff back in the garden room. “Jax, we forgot my stuff,” I tell him.

“No we didn’t. That’s your stuff for when you’re here. I’ll buy you more if you need it, but I wanted you to have something for when you visit. Derek will let you into the garden whenever you need to visit. If Derek isn’t here, just tell them you know me and they’ll let you in.”

“You make it sound like you know I’ll come back.”

He turns to me, his eyes meeting mine. “You’ll come back. The garden has that effect on people.”

I look away, unable to meet the intensity in his eyes. He leads me right into the middle of the gym where the boxing ring is. No one is boxing now, but Derek appears at my side as if summoned.

Jaxson lets go of my hand and climbs into the ring, looking for something while Derek tries to hand me boxing gloves and a soft helmet.

“Uh, no thanks. I don’t know how to box.”

“Jax is going to teach you.” He grins, pushing them into my arms. When I look over to tell Jax there is no way I’m going to box, my jaw drops open. He has stripped off his shirt and is wearing flat, circular pads on his hands and no helmet. It takes me a moment to remember not to stare, and when I look at their faces Jaxson and Derek both wear matching grins.

I try to fight the blush at being caught staring but it’s no use. Instead I try to distract them. “How is boxing stage three?” I ask.

Jax’s grin grows into a wicked smirk. “Come try it and I’ll explain.”

I sigh but admit, I’m intrigued. Natalie used to do martial arts to help center her hyperactive nature. If it helped her, maybe it will help me too.

Derek helps me get into the ring and puts the helmet, or headgear as he calls it, and gloves on me before climbing out of the ring and standing at the side, his arms crossed, an excited grin on his face.

Jax circles me, appraising me. “Change your stance. Your legs should balance you. The way you’re standing right now you’d topple over with one hit.” He nudges my legs with his feet until he’s happy with my stance before standing in front of me. “Hold your hands up how you think you should.”

I lift my hands into a defensive position I’ve seen boxers in movies use and he chuckles, using his hands to maneuvre me. Once he’s satisfied he takes a step back, holding his hands up.

“I want you to hit my hands.” He says it with no inflection so I shrug and aim one of my gloved hands at his. At the last moment he moves, leaving me to stumble.

Derek chuckles from the side and I start to get annoyed. I swing again, trying for Jaxson’s other hand but again he moves, leaving me to miss. I have no idea what this exercise is supposed to achieve and after a few times trying to hit him and missing, it’s starting to piss me off.

“Why ask me to hit you if you’re just going to move?” I ask, the frustration seeping into my voice.

He smirks. “I asked you to hit my hands. I didn’t say it was going to be easy,” he mocks as he moves closer again, his hands still raised.

I frown but try again. This time my hand grazes the pad and he smiles, a look of pride. “Good. Now, I’m going to get Derek to give you a few tips while I put gloves and headgear on.”

When Derek climbs up he starts speaking, telling me where to aim, what to look for and that for every hit I get, it counts as a point. Three points and the round is over.

“Why is he doing this?” I ask as I watch Jackson putting his dark green gloves on.

Derek sighs, turning me to meet his green eyes. “He’s trying to help you. When you leave he’ll explain everything. The only thing you can do for now is get three points. The sooner you do, the sooner it will be over.”

Jaxson climbs into the ring, and if I didn’t know any better, I would assume he’d rubbed oil over his abs to distract me. I mean, no one’s skin is that shiny. It could be sweat but we haven’t even started.

“Okay, Valerie. I want you to channel all your anger into right here and right now,” he says as he bounces on his feet.

Huh? What anger? “Jax, I don’t have any anger.”

He stops bouncing around to laugh at me. “You have no anger?” he asks, his voice taking on a mocking tone.

“Your best friend is assumed dead. You moved to a new place with people you don’t know. You found out you were adopted. Does none of that make you angry?” he taunts, a wicked glint in his eyes.

As he spoke, an anger I really didn’t know I held starts to rise from within me. I straighten my back and lunge at Jaxson. I have no idea if I’m doing what I’m supposed to but I no longer care. A haze descends on my vision and the next thing I know, arms are wrapped around me, hauling me off Jaxson. He’s relatively unharmed but has a massive boot shaped bruise on his chest.

I pant heavily in the pair of arms I don’t recognize. Then Derek speaks from behind me. “You all good now, Valerie?” he asks.

At my nod, he lets go of me and walks over to help Jax to his feet. He looks him over before punching him in the arm. “Seriously, man. You must have a death wish to piss a woman off that bad.”

Jaxson looks at me smugly. “Is the anger still there, Val?”

I close my eyes, feeling inside me where the anger came from and open my eyes, surprised. “No, it’s … it’s calm now. I feel, at peace.”

Jaxson walks over and crouches down in front of me, our eyes connecting. Something passes between us and he reaches up to wipe a bead of sweat from my eyes. “I’m sorry if I pushed you too far.”

I shake my head, not even slightly upset. “If you had told me before what you had planned I would have been a bit peeved for sure, but I’m not now. It’s the first time in the past few days I haven’t felt like my mind and heart are fighting each other.”

Derek interrupts, holding out a hand for me. “There’s showers in the back if you want to use them. My wife is around the same size as you so you should fit into some of her spare stuff.”

I take his offered hand and he shows me to the women’s locker room after handing me a set of his wife’s clothes.

Once showered and dressed I make my way out to find Jax waiting for me. Derek has disappeared so I just follow Jax to the car. We drive back towards the campus and that’s when I realize we spent the whole day in each other’s company.

We get out of the car, sitting on the hood of the car as we wait for the others to finish. “Thank you for today, Jax.”

He shrugs his shoulders, refusing to look at me. My heart deflates and I sink into myself until the horn of a familiar car puts a wide smile on my face. I slide off the hood of the car and walk straight up to Justin.

“Hey, Val. You ready to go?”

I stumble surprised. “Go where?”

“You didn’t think I was going to listen to your dad, did you? I want to get to know you, even if I have to defy his orders to do so.”

My heart picks up speed and I nod, climbing into the passenger seat. As we leave the parking lot I see Jax still sitting on the hood of the car, disappointment clear. I didn’t think he’d mind me going off with Justin. Zane, Cooper and Carter all join Jax at the car and follow his eyes to see me leaving. I wave but none of them wave back, leaving me to wonder why they don’t like Justin?