“The stars light up the sky as the shadows grow. Darkness is everywhere. It won’t be long until all light is extinguished.”
We arrive at Satine just as the sun is setting. There’s a line around the corner and my heart sinks as I take in the way everyone is dressed. Neon everywhere. Neon clothes, neon hair and neon lights. So much neon.
“Ah, Nat? Why are we going into a club when they have a neon theme?”
She slams her door shut as I climb out of the passenger seat. “It’s not a neon theme, Val. It's Eighties Night, but we have the VIP section booked for tonight so you only have to brave the neon as we walk in and walk out.”
Nat pulls me along, straight to the velvet rope, leaning forward to whisper in the bouncer’s ear with a flirty smirk. All guys seem to fall over their feet to be the center of Nat’s or my attention, something we consider both a blessing and a curse.
My jet black hair runs down to my waist, my body is voluptuous and my breasts are a solid E-cup. It gets hard to buy bras since nowhere likes to stock more than one bra option in my size.
Then there’s my face; it’s perfectly symmetrical. I have a small button nose and pale-pink lips that match my paler-than-normal skin tone, and my eyes are a unique amber color. Not something common like blue or gray. No, I got a rare shade of amber eyes. Both my parents have green and blue eyes so I have no idea where the amber comes from, but I love it.
I’ve had doubts that my parents aren’t my real parents because of it; I mean, I look nothing like them. Nat is more like them than I am. Then there’s the fact that while I like being out and about, I’d much rather be at home reading a good book whereas my blond-haired, blue-eyed mother has a love for the spotlight. She plans weekly parties for her rich friends who basically keep her status above the regular Joe. Not that she actually has any money, she just likes to pretend so she doesn’t lose all her friends.
My father isn’t around anymore, but he used to be the same. He loved the parties Mom threw because it gained him introductions to law firms he wouldn’t have otherwise had access to. He built his business from the ground up and quickly became a multi-millionaire because of his cases. He made sure never to take on a lost cause, keeping his case win rate at one hundred percent.
I’d rather be curled up on a lounge somewhere reading a good book with a nice hot coffee, but I’m constantly being dragged out to all kinds of things for my mother’s benefit. Since my father divorced her she’s become very demanding of what my life should be like. Pretty dresses, flashy jewellery, things I’m not remotely interested in.
“Valerie? Are you even listening to me?!” Nat’s voice penetrates my thoughts, and I focus on the here and now, feeling guilty for ignoring her. She’s trying to do something nice for me, and I appreciate it. I plaster a smile on my face. “Um, if I say no are you going to make me go home?”
She grins and pulls me through the throng of people already gathered on the dance floor. Bodies press against me, the heat stifling. A few guys grind against me and I feel the club mentality; the need to be free, let loose all your worries and just dance the night away. Nat leads us to the back corner of the club, just near the stairs leading up to the VIP room. She pauses, leaning in to whisper-shout in my ear. “Val, you don’t have to do this if you really don’t want to. I just wanted to get you out of the house, have some fun and celebrate your birthday.”
I sigh and pull her in, hugging her as the music blasts around her. “Let’s go party, Nat. There’s no place I’d rather be than here with you. But if I drink too much, you are responsible for getting me home.” I pull back and wink at her.
She laughs at me and starts pulling me up the steps. “Ok, but no promises. We may end up taking care of each other. That or we’ll wake up hungover at some guy’s house like your eighteenth.”
I shudder at the memory. We both got extremely hammered on homemade alcohol on my eighteenth birthday. Sally, Jess, Nat and I woke up wearing only our underwear, cuddled in the same bed with no idea what had happened. It turned out we’d just drunk a little too much and crashed in one bed together, but still. That’s not how you want to wake up in a stranger’s house.
As we walk into the VIP lounge I marvel at how fancy it looks for a small-town club. There’s a massive window that looks out over the dance floor and I stare as the club starts to fill. Red velvet chairs make it feel all the more exclusive. Sally and Jessica are already here setting up a table of drinks with a cute waiter.
And then my eyes land on my parents. Yes, both of them. I would never have believed my father would show up. He called to wish me a happy birthday and didn’t even mention he would be here, otherwise I would have advised against it.
He and my mother are in the midst of a heated discussion. It’s the first time I’ve seen my dad truly annoyed. If my mother wanted to yell at him or belittle him he would just stand there and take whatever verbal insults she had to sling out.
My mother has tried to make me believe that I was the reason my dad left her. I know that it’s the stroke that makes her lash out like that, but sometimes it’s hard not to feel like they both would have been better off not having me.
I ignore my parents, going straight to my friends. Jessica notices me first, her hazel eyes lighting up. “You’re finally here! Now I can give you your present.”
“Aw that’s sweet, Jess, but you didn’t have to get me anything.”
Jess pouts at me. “Yes, I did. Now quick, open it!”
The giddiness in her voice has me excited to see what she bought. I rip it open and my jaw drops open in shock, quickly trying to roll the gift into a ball to stop anyone from seeing.
“Jess! Wha… wh… what the hell?!” I stammer, trying to hide the lingerie while Natalie and Sally both chuckle.
“What? I thought you’d love it,” she says, frowning.
“It’s not that I don’t like it, but jeez, my parents are right over there!” I vent, gesturing at their general vicinity to prove my point.
She takes the red and black lingerie outfit from my hand and sighs. “Fine, I’ll keep it in my car until the parents aren’t around. I don’t see what the big deal is though. I mean, surely they know you like to have sex.”
I shake my head as she walks away leaving me with Sally and Nat. Sally is extremely attractive and extremely shy. She offers a timid smile before handing me an envelope. Inside is a card filled with well wishes from everyone at the coffee house I work for. Down on the bottom she has left a small note.
Valerie, I know you don’t like too much fuss on your birthday and while I did chip in on the gift Natalie and Jessica got you, my gift is no fuss. Your next night off we will do a girls’ night with movies and donuts.
Lots of love,
Sally
My eyes tear up, and I can’t help but pull Sally in for a hug. “Thank you,” I whisper. She blushes and looks away without a word. Anyone else would get offended but I know it’s just Sally.
Jessica comes back, her eyes alight with mischief. “Your present is in the car. Now let’s go get some drinks.”
“Uh, I think Val’s parents want to talk to her, but why don’t we go check on everything?” Nat suggests, leading Sally and Jessica away from me as my parents walk my way.
They each hold small gifts in their hands and fake smiles on their faces. I can always tell when everything isn’t right between them. As my mother reaches me she stumbles a little and I hold out my hands to steady her, only to have her swat my hands away. “I’m fine, Valerie. I don’t need your help!”
I sigh, removing my hands, glad that she seems to be doing relatively okay. I don’t think she’s left the house except for her socialite parties since the stroke. I guess I should be glad she’s here, but I can’t help but feel she’s not here for me.
“Happy birthday, darling. I hope you like it.” She shoves a small box in my hands, and I have to hold back a grimace. If it’s anything like the last five years, it will be jewellery of some kind. She’s become obsessed with me wearing pretty trinkets, but I just don’t get it. Why wear something so expensive when you could lose it? Or better yet, she could actually ask what I want instead of getting something I never use or wear.
Inside is a pair of diamond earrings. Earrings she can’t afford. I wonder what she pawned now? That’s the only way she could afford something so flashy. Don’t get me wrong, they are absolutely breathtaking, but I would rather she buy me a good book or chip in towards my college fund. I smile and give her a kiss on the cheek. “Thanks, Mom, they’re beautiful.” Her whole face lights up in delight, and I swear she’s seconds away from making me wear them right here and now. Luckily Dad steps up to get my attention.
He hands me a wrapped package and the smile on my face is genuine. It’s obviously a book of some kind which shows how well he actually knows me.
I wanted to go with him when he left but I was only fourteen. My mom and Nat both wanted me to stay, so I did. It was good for the first year after Dad left. Mom let me do what I wanted, until the blackouts came back. Then she became strict, demanding I stay home rather than hang out with my friends. Until the lead up to the accident. She had come to get me from Nat’s house after I had snuck out, when the car skidded on the wet road and we smashed into a tree. When I woke up I was in hospital and it was a week after the accident. Dad was there by my side and told me everything that had happened, including how I died on the operating table. Luckily they were able to fix the nicked artery. I lost a lot of blood, yet I survived. I still have nasty scars but that’s it.
My mother suffered a stroke, and when we got home, instead of taking up my dad’s offer to move in with him and his new wife, I opted to stay and take care of my mother. Some days I regret that decision. I often wonder how different my life would be if I had left. But I can’t think on ‘what if’s.’
My dad speaks, drawing me from my memories. “I wanted to get you something for college but since you still refuse to go, I thought this might do.” He gives me a look, and I avoid eye contact. I know how much he wishes I was at college, but the reality of the situation is that I can’t go.
I rip the paper off, eager to see what book it is, but before I even get a chance my mother snatches it from my hands, leaving me bereft. “Mom, what the hell?” I exclaim, shocked she’d just snatch my present from me.
She glares at my father before a calm settles over her. “You know what, Troy, I don’t want to fight in front of our little girl. Especially on her big day.” She turns to me, an odd glint in her eyes.
“Daddy’s so sorry, sweetie. This wasn’t meant to be given to you yet. I’m sorry that he messed this up for you. Troy, take me home now.”
She turns on her heel with the book clutched tightly in her hands and walks to the exit. My dad gives me a sad smile. “Sorry, sweetie. I’ll take her home and see you tomorrow. We can go out for some pancakes and ice-cream if you want? Unless my little girl is too old for that?” he asks with a grin.
“I’m never too old for ice-cream, Dad. Go, I’ll call you in the morning.”
He gives me a quick hug before hurrying to catch up with my mother. Sally chooses that moment to come back into the VIP lounge holding a shot.
“Thought you might need this,” she murmurs, handing it over to me. I knock it back in one go and take a few deep breaths to work through the burn.
“Thanks, Sally.”
“It’s fine. I figured you’d need it after the family drama. Now come on, Nat is waiting for us down at the bar demanding we do more shots and find a guy to go home with, but if it’s alright with you I’m going to sneak home soon.”
“Sure, I don’t blame you. But let’s go have some fun before you go.”
We spend the next hour dancing and hammering down shot after shot that Nat demands we drink until Jessica and Sally decide to take their leave. We each say goodbye with hugs and I watch them climb into the cab. Nat and I head back into the club for another hour, dancing with each other until the club crowd starts thinning out.
When the bouncers finally kick us out, Nat helps me out to her car, my vision swimming.
“You know, I can walk right?” I slur as the ground sways underneath me.
“Oh sure you can. Just let me get you home,” she chuckles as she puts me in the passenger seat and runs around to the driver’s side.
Nat doesn’t say a word as she drives us home, I guess she senses how exhausted I am. We’re almost home when she slams on the brakes, pulling me out of my reverie.
“What’s going on?” I ask, glancing over at Nat and quickly sobering from the rush of adrenaline. Her gaze remains fixed on the road in front of us and I turn to see what she’s staring at, my mouth dropping open in shock.
My mom is standing in the middle of the road, wind whipping her hair around her. She looks crazed. I get out of the car, ignoring Nat as she calls me back.
“Mom, are you okay? What are you doing out here?” I ask, looking around for her car but seeing nothing. Did she walk?
Nat gets out of the driver’s side, slamming her door shut and walking around to stand in front of her car. She turns back to me, her eyes glowing in the moonlight. “Val, get in the car.”
“What? Why?”
Perplexed as to what is going on, I go to move towards her when a crow appears from nowhere, sending me scrambling back. What the fuck? Why is a crow attacking me? Though it’s not actually attacking me. It’s sitting on the hood of Nat’s car, watching me.
Maybe I fell asleep and I’m having a weird ass dream because none of this shit makes sense to me.
Natalie walks away from the car, from me, her eyes showing fear but also determination. What on earth is going on?
“Natalie, this is your only chance. Turn around and leave. This has nothing to do with you, just me and Valerie.” My mother’s voice sounds different; stronger and more intimidating. The wind picks up around her, almost as if it were coming from within her.
Nat stares at my mother before glancing back at me. “If I survive this, Val, I’ll explain everything. If I don’t, I love you, babe.”