Friday. Finally the end of the week. Ever since my mental break on Tuesday, I’ve been great. No nightmares and my days have been better than ever. I hang out with Jax, Cooper, Carter and Zane during classes and lunch but then spend the afternoon with Justin.
We’ve already become a lot closer. On Tuesday he promised me that, no matter what happened, he would see me every day after classes. I thought he was joking, but so far he’s kept to his word. Each day I learned something new about him, just as he learned more about me.
I know that he likes cars. He likes to tinker with them, new or old. He has a fascination with pulling them apart and putting them back together. He knows I like to draw and one day dream of creating my own series of graphic novels.
He admitted he likes to watch romantic movies. He says the idea of them overcoming anything is something he likes to hope for. I thought it was some kind of line, but the more I get to know him the more I hope it’s true.
He knows that I’m adopted, something I was a little hesitant to tell him but I figured that to really get to know someone you need to be willing to open up on the hard things.
“Valerie?”
“Huh?” I look up to see Cooper staring at me. The others had classes to get to so Cooper volunteered to hang out with me in the library. Jaxson was supposed to be with me all week but he had some appointment with the Dean today.
“I asked if you were alright?” he repeats from my side. I turn to him with a smile. “Yeah, Coop, I’m fine. Just thinking about what to do this weekend.”
“Oh, well we actually wanted to see if you wanted to hang with us. We usually barbecue and watch movies in the pool house, but seeing as you’re in there we thought we’d see if you were up for it.”
“Who else is coming?” I ask absentmindedly, packing all the books into a pile. The librarian is here today and she asked that we stack the books into a pile for her to make it easier to put them away.
Cooper puts his hand over mine, stopping me from moving the next book. “Valerie, it’s something we do together. Just us. And now we’re inviting you.”
Oh. That’s kind of sweet. “Thanks, Coop. I’d love to be involved.”
He grins at me, letting go of my hand and I feel its loss a little more than I care to admit. I’ve been growing close with each of my new stepbrothers. Carter and I seem to connect the most; his love of making everything fun always brightens my day.
Cooper, while more reserved, is a gentle guy at heart. He doesn’t like to get too involved in Carter’s joking, preferring to remain more serious, but I like that about him. Sometimes it’s nice to take a break from the fun side of life.
Zane and I are still a bit off after he ratted me out to my father for going off with Justin. Our conversations are mostly non-existent or filled with tension.
Jaxson and I don’t really speak when we hang out. Usually we just sit together outside and do our own thing. It's comfortable. Sometimes we talk, but for the most part we just write and draw. He told me he was working on a novel, something I look forward to reading when he is finished.
Cooper hands me my bag and we head out to lunch. I thought I’d have a heavier schedule than I do now but it’s actually a lot lighter than expected. I have one class in the morning, an hour break and then three classes after lunch. Sometimes those classes result in us leaving early, but for the most part college life has been interesting.
We get into the cafeteria, choosing a table at the back, and Cooper goes to grab us lunch while I make myself comfortable. Zane is the first to get to the table and the silence between us is tense as usual. I feel someone sit beside me and I turn with a smile on my face, ready to greet Carter who chooses to claim the seat on my right, but I am surprised to see a different face.
Joy beams at me, the smile so fake I have to fight not to call her out on it. “Hello, Valerie, Zane. Hope you don’t mind, I thought I would join you guys for lunch today.”
“No, that’s fine. I don’t mind,” I respond, looking to Zane as Cooper sits down on my other side, placing a tray in front of me and one in front of Zane. One of the guys shares their lunch tray with me each day since I still don’t have my meal plan set up yet.
Cooper completely ignores Joy, as if she doesn’t exist, and silence descends on the table when Jaxson and Carter arrive, trays in hand. They both notice Joy immediately.
“Move, Joy. You’re in my seat,” Carter demands.
Joy pouts at him but gets up and sits down next to Jaxson, who took the seat across from me. She smirks, as if she got what she wanted all along.
We all sit in silence, picking at our food until Carter snaps. “Why are you here, Joy? You’re making us uncomfortable.”
She smiles and I see her imperceptibly shift towards Jaxson. “I just wanted to be close to Jax. We haven’t hung out in ages. I barely see any of you anymore,” she pouts.
“That’s because we have responsibilities and any free time we do have, we’d rather spend it with people we enjoy being around,” Cooper says without looking up from the tray in front of him.
Joy’s face sours. “Oh, that’s right. Getting to know your new sister and helping her acclimate to our community. How is that working out for you guys? I imagine it must be weird.”
“No, Joy, it’s not weird, we’re friends,” Carter responds, his eyes sending daggers her way. Jaxson and Zane both have clenched fists and I move my hands under the table, no longer interested in eating. Cooper reaches under the table, intertwining our hands.
Joy just keeps talking. “No, but seriously. Imagine if one of you started to like her, you’d have to hide it for the rest of your life because you’re related now. I mean, you could never tell her how you feel. She’d get grossed out.” She smirks over at me.
I grip Cooper’s hand under the table, needing the strength not to slap her smug face. Instead I speak carefully so she understands that I mean every word. “Joy, please stop trying to stir up shit. If, and that’s a big if, one of the guys had feelings for me, then there would be nothing wrong with that. Yes, we’re technically family but there are many different types of family. We’re tied together because our parents are married, legally, not by blood. If people judge that then shame on them but I choose who I love. Regardless I fail to see how that is your business.”
I feel a hand on my knee and Carter winks at me before giving me a squeeze.
Joy’s smirk fades. “Or maybe there’s something wrong with you? Even the thought of being with your stepbrothers makes me sick.”
Zane slaps his hands on the table, drawing the attention of people walking past. “You don’t belong here,” he spits. I rear back, when his gaze lands on me.
Startled I let go of Cooper’s hand and push Carter’s hand off my knee, rising to my feet. This wasn’t something I needed to deal with, let alone in public so I walk away, leaving my bag.
My heart constricts at Zane being so cruel to me. How could he? I know things were tense between us, but to be so hostile? I need a moment. What better place to escape than the library? It’s empty most of the day and will give me the space I need to think, to calm down.
By the time I make it in the doors, I’m panting from the speed I was walking. Why do I feel like my insides are being ripped apart? It shouldn’t be like this.
“Valerie?” I feel Zane place a hand out on my shoulder but I shrug it away.
Tears fall down my cheeks and I make no move to wipe them away. “Just go away, Zane. If I don’t belong here then I’ll make it easier on you by steering clear. I expect you to do the same.”
“Please, Valerie, just let me explain. I didn’t mean you. I meant Joy. She keeps hanging around and I just snapped.”
I turn around to look at him, seeing the guilt in his eyes. He takes a hesitant step towards me and I hold still, waiting for his next move. He reaches out, grabbing my hand and taking a step closer until we’re mere inches apart. “There’s nothing I want more than for you to be here with us. Please don’t ever think differently.”
He reaches up, cupping my cheek, using his thumb to brush over my cheekbone. “The guys are going to kill me for this,” he mutters under his breath.
He pulls me closer, his lips pressing against mine. My brain shuts down the moment his lips meet mine. I moan into his lips and he takes that as an invitation to deepen the kiss. He walks me backwards until I’m pressed against the wall.
“Ahem.”
We break apart in shock to find the librarian looking at us with a sly grin in her eyes. “Maybe you could move your kiss to somewhere that isn’t my library?” she suggests, pushing her glasses up her nose.
Zane and I nod before walking away from the library as fast as we can. We run into the others before my next class and Zane walks off again without a word. I’m not sure if the kiss was an ‘in the moment’ type thing or if he meant it.
The rest of the day goes by faster than expected and I barely notice what’s going on around me, my mind still focused on the kiss. When I see Justin waiting for me I leap at the chance to go with him. Being around him seems to nullify my conflicted feelings about my new stepbrothers.
As we leave the parking lot my heart starts to beat faster. Did my stepbrother just kiss me? And did I kiss him back? Holy shit, I did. Life is only going to get more complicated now, isn’t it?