One week. I could do this.
But what I couldn’t do is tell him the truth, even if it felt like I should.
He might be a sweet, caring, and understanding guy, but it was clear he and his family were close, and if I told him even a fraction of the truth, he’d have more questions for me, and before long, it’d be clear that I’d intended to harm him and his family. I had wanted vengeance, and there was no getting around that little fact, no matter what our feelings were for each other.
If I was going to spend this week with him, then I’d have to ignore my reality and embrace the person I was pretending to be. It was that, or tell him the truth and walk away from the only happiness I’d had in years. Though I knew that was what I should do, I was too weak to follow through with what was right, even though it’d only make matters worse when he finally found out the truth.
But there was one more thing. If I didn’t get to a pharmacy for the morning-after pill, there was a good chance I’d be taking a little part of Locke along with me when I finally did leave. Because it was clear that safe sex was nowhere on anyone’s radar once we started kissing each other, and eventually, nature was going to take over, and I was going to end up pregnant.
Yet the thought of having a baby to love…of having a renewed sense of hope… Part of me wanted to simply throw caution to the wind and put things in fate’s hands.
I knew a baby would fill a huge void in my life, and it’d help to heal my wounds. Except that Locke still didn’t know the truth about me, and at the end of a week, I’d be walking away and never seeing him again—with or without his child.
With the fire going, he crossed to my side and pulled me into his arms, making it impossible for me to pull away from the comfort only he seemed to be able to give me. “How are you doing, love?”
I shrugged off my worries and told myself that I was going to take this one week to just be happy—something I hadn’t been in a very long time. And after that, I’d deal with whatever came my way, even if there was a good chance I might lose Locke once he knew the truth. For once, I was going to stop worrying about everything.
I managed a smile and slipped my arms around his neck, leaning into his muscular body as I went up onto the tips of my toes to give him a kiss. “I’m doing better. So…what do you have planned for our week together?”
The worry that had lined his face with tension finally disappeared, his eyes alight with mischief as he smiled against my lips. “I’m tempted to drag you to bed and spend the week making you come repeatedly, but I suppose we’ll have to get out of the house at some point. And it probably wouldn’t hurt to get to know each other a little better—though I promise I won’t press you for anything that you don’t feel comfortable telling me.”
Well, that was going to be an awful lot considering that everything I’d told him so far was more or less a lie. “There’s something else we need to do. I need a pharmacy… If I don’t get the morning-after pill in the next day or two, there’s a good chance I’m going to end up pregnant.”
He shrugged, not looking at the least bit worried. “Em…I know we don’t know each other all that well, but…I like the idea of having a kid with you. I’m not saying this is how I’d have planned it all out. But I’m happy to take my chances and let fate decide.”
Even though I’d just had that very thought, I still couldn’t help but worry that it’d all go to hell once he knew the truth. “Locke…this is crazy. You don’t even know me, and yet you’d be fine with us having a child?”
He gave me another one of his easygoing shrugs. “I don’t know… I guess it doesn’t bother me much because I love what I already know about you. I come from a huge family, Em…and children were always a good thing and something to be celebrated. Blame it on my Irish upbringing, I suppose.”
How could I have been so wrong about him? And how could I have thought myself capable of revenge? That wasn’t me, though my hurt and anger, my loss, made me so bitter and furious that I couldn’t keep from lashing out at the people who had wronged me.
He interrupted my thoughts, pulling me into his embrace. “You’re overthinking things, baby… And I’m not an idiot. I know things are complicated. But sometimes you just have to let the cards fall where they will. We can’t control everything that happens to us.”
Didn’t I know it? My life was currently so far off the track I had thought I’d be on that I didn’t even recognize my life as my own.
I pulled away just enough to look up at him, though I still held onto him tightly, not wanting to let go. And fuck, but the man stole my very breath. “Is everything always so easy with you?”
“Things are seldom easy, and believe me when I tell you, they’re never simple or straightforward. But I find that if you look at the heart of the matter, you can usually find an answer there, pointing you to the right path. And right now, the only answer I have is that I’m falling for you.” His blue eyes were fierce as he spoke his words, as if trying to convince me of their truth—and I believed him. I believed him because I felt exactly the same way about him.
“This thing between us doesn’t feel real, Locke… It feels too easy.” But only because he still didn’t know the truth—and once he did find out, it would all come crashing to an end.
“Does it need to be difficult in order to be real?” Cupping my face in his hand, he brushed his thumb over my lips, and then lowered his mouth to mine in a heated but all too brief kiss that had me moaning for more. “Because this feels real to me, baby…and I swear, I’ve never felt this way before.”
“Neither have I—but that’s what scares me.” It meant there was so much more at stake…so much more to lose. And after everything I’d been through, I didn’t know if I’d survive another blow.
“You never have to be scared with me around, Em. I’ve got you.” His eyes locked on mine, and it was as if he could see my very soul—as if he could see me. “You have my word—I’d never do anything to hurt you.”
“You could still break my heart, Locke.” Which was exactly how this would play out once he knew the truth.
“And you could easily break mine—but isn’t love worth the risk?”