As he held me in his strong arms, I let my eyes slip shut and took in the comfort and protection he offered me, pushing my past aside and ignoring the hell I’d been through. Because it’d been too long since I’d had anyone in my corner watching my back—and even longer since I’d taken comfort in anyone’s arms. I might be deluding myself, but at the moment, engulfed in Locke’s arms and surrounded by the sheer size of him, it was far too easy to ignore who he was and just nestle deep into his embrace.
A part of me brushed it off as what I had to do to earn Locke’s trust so I could get close to him and his family. But a bigger part of me was starting to suspect that there was another truth, and no matter how much I lied to myself, it wouldn’t change the fact that I was more than happy to lose myself in Locke’s arms, even if it was just for the moment.
I’d clearly been on my own for far too long, devoid of any real intimacy, and it had caught up with me. Because instead of wanting to push Locke away after what he did to my family, I was instead holding onto him as if he was some sort of haven in a storm.
And when he kissed me, I let him, holding onto this persona I’d built up in my head, while locking away the girl who’d lost her family and was out for vengeance. Besides…what better way to get him to trust me than to get intimate with each other?
At least that’s what I was telling myself.
His scruffy stubble was rough against my face, in contrast to his lips, soft and warm, his kiss nothing more than a tease and a promise of so much more. My tongue darted out to find his while my fingers knotted into the soft fabric of his shirt, pulling him to me as I ignored the voices in my head that told me that I’d need to be careful. Though this was something that I needed to do, I couldn’t let myself get in too deep and have this go wrong.
But before I found the strength to pull away, he did it for me, the perfect gentleman who was too worried about me in my fragile state, making me once again doubt my motives for being here. He gave me an easy smile that lit up his eyes and set me at ease. “You must be starving by now. We can head out to dinner if you’d like. There are a few good places nearby, though they’re nothing fancy. Or I’m happy to cook. Whatever will make you happy, Em.”
Em… Each time he used the nickname he’d given me, it tugged at my heart and he managed to pull down yet another brick from the walls I’d built to keep myself safe. I told myself that he was the enemy. And yet, I wasn’t sure I believed it anymore, even though I reminded myself that I’d only just met him, and this could all just be an act he’d gotten really good at.
“We can stay in, since we just got here. Maybe I can figure out if I used to cook in my former life.” In fact, I could. Damn well, if I did say so myself. And though it would give him insight into the person I truly was, the details I was “remembering” weren’t anything that would give away my true identity, even if it let him think I was making progress.
“Great idea. We can work side by side, and if you decide that cooking isn’t your thing, I’m happy to step in and take over.” He kissed the tip of my nose and gave me a smile that made my heart skitter.
I cursed myself for letting him have any sort of effect on me, though I quickly pushed that thought away, knowing that I couldn’t let him catch glimpses of who I truly was. “Anything you won’t eat?”
“It’s a pretty short list, and nothing you’d easily run across in this country.” He led the way to the kitchen, and no surprise that Bear quickly followed, keeping a sharp eye out for any food that might fall to the ground. “Besides, most of what we stocked up on at the supermarket was pretty basic, and I’m assuming it’s stuff we’d both eat since we were both there when we got it.”
When he winked at me, it was hard to keep my heart from reacting. “True. Pasta work for you? I figure it’s hard to screw up, though it won’t exactly be testing my cooking skills—unless of course, I can’t even boil water.”
“Might as well find out.” He grabbed a pot from a nearby cabinet and handed it to me with a teasing smile that left me wondering if he was always this charismatic, or if I was the only one to fall under his spell so easily.
Needless to say, the two of us managed to get dinner on the table with little difficulty, though I wasn’t sure how good an idea the bottle of wine was, especially when I was a lightweight and seldom had much to drink.
He poured me another glass as I finished my meal, and then went back for seconds, returning with another full plate of pasta. “I was thinking…maybe a word association game might help jog your memory. You seem a bit more relaxed. It might be just the thing to get the ball rolling.”
“I’m a bit more relaxed because this wine’s gone straight to my head.” And though I told myself I shouldn’t drink the second glass, I still found myself taking yet another sip, since it was definitely helping with my nerves. “Though maybe I was never much of a drinker because the wine I had was never as good as this.”
His eyes went wide with excitement as he gave me a wide grin. “See. It’s already working. You just remembered that you’re not much of a drinker.”
Crap. The more I relaxed around him, the more I started to slip up. And if I drank any more wine, I’d be telling him my life’s story.
“I suppose the word game can’t hurt, right?” What else was I supposed to say, if I didn’t want him getting suspicious? After all, “Emie” would want her memory back, and would be trying hard to make that happen. “Though this might have to be my last glass of wine, or you’ll be carrying me to bed.”
“Sweetness, I have absolutely no problem taking care of you. But if you’re a lightweight, then making that your last glass may not be a bad thing.” His blue eyes came alight with an unmistakable need that would no doubt mirror my own if I wasn’t careful.
I knew better, even as I told myself that anything that happened between us would be nothing more than a way to get him to open up to me…to trust me. Nothing more.
I kept waiting for him to show me the sort of monster he really was—and time and again, I was left scratching my head. Instead of letting me land in a shelter with no one there to make sure I was safe, he’d taken me into his home, dropping everything to make sure I was okay. And instead of plying me with alcohol so he could have his way with me, he was making sure I didn’t drink too much.
Not that he’d need to get any woman drunk in order to get them into his bed. No…I had no doubt women would happily fight each other for the pleasure. And why the hell wouldn’t they? Tall, muscular, smart, kind, sexy…
The perfect disguise for a killer.
Except…something in my gut had me second-guessing myself, though maybe that was part of his MO. He was so charismatic and charming that you couldn’t help but let down your guard and throw caution aside. And though I’d like to think I was less gullible than that, here I was already second-guessing myself, after twenty-four hours in his presence.
With the plates in the dishwasher, he led the way to the sofa, sitting by my side close enough to have our knees touching as we both shifted to face each other. “I was thinking that I say a word, and you tell me the first thing that pops into your head. What do you think?”
“Nothing to lose by trying, right?” I managed a smile, and any uneasiness I felt about him discovering the truth could easily be blamed on nerves after my ordeal.
He shot me a charming smile. “Exactly.”