I pulled my jeans up, feeling his cum slip out to wet my panties, as I fought off the heartbreak I was dealing with. He had every right to be angry, though it didn’t make this any easier. And the truth of the matter was I didn’t blame him. Not one bit—though that didn’t mean I wouldn’t fight him on taking me home.
I couldn’t stand the thought of him hating me, especially when he’d proven to me that he wasn’t the man I’d thought him to be. Instead of finding this coldhearted and evil person, he’d been loving, kind, and generous—until now, though I knew I had no one to blame but myself. And frankly, he had every reason to be angry with me.
I could barely look at him without having my tears start over once again. “If that’s what you really want, then fine…I’ll grab my things.”
“Don’t you fucking get it? What I had wanted was to continue what we’d had this past week. I wanted to get to know you better, to find a way to be together.” He shook his head, his hands clenched into fists, probably to keep from strangling me. “I wanted us to be happy, to see if there might be something more between us once we got back to Seattle. I wanted a fucking life with you, Em. Instead, I got nothing but your manipulations as you weaseled yourself into my life. You were good, though. I’ll give you that. You had me eating up your lies right from the very start. I believed every word out of your goddamn mouth.”
What the hell was I supposed to say when it was all true? “I know there’s nothing I can do that will change what’s already happened, but I’m truly sorry, Locke. I was angry and hurting, and couldn’t think past my pain. I had nothing else to live for.”
“Do you think I don’t fucking get that—especially after having my father murdered? But this wasn’t just revenge…it was deception on a level that’s fucking killing me. Because I meant it when I said I was falling for you, Em. And you fucking stomped on my heart.”
The fact that he was yelling just went to show how upset he was—a fact that didn’t go unnoticed by Bear, who’d been growing more and more anxious as we argued.
Locke knelt down by his dog, sinking his fingers in Bear’s thick hair as he murmured to him, telling him everything was okay and trying to ease his dog’s worry. It just went to show the kind of guy he truly was. And though I could easily convince myself that he was still responsible for pushing my dad over the edge, clearly it was no longer a simple matter, especially since I believed Locke had been telling me the truth.
“I’m sorry, Locke. I truly am.” There was no point in arguing with him or trying to convince him to give me another chance. I had to laugh at myself. Another chance at what? He was right. This had all been a lie—all except how I felt about him. That had been real—and I’d irreparably ruined it. “I’ll grab my things.”
He wouldn’t even look at me.
With a final glance in his direction, I headed to the bedroom and quickly packed the few things I had, fighting back the tears that wanted to escape in a flood. None of this should be affecting me the way it had, and yet the way I felt about him was real, as was my loss, knowing now that there was little chance of us ever being together.
Shaking it all off, I grabbed my bag and headed to the living room, ignoring the fact that my eyes were red from crying and my cheeks were streaked with tears. “I’m ready.”
I had to resist the urge to cross to his side and beg him to give me another chance. Yet I knew how much I’d hurt him, and after betraying his trust, that special something that we had between us was now gone. Once again, I was going to be all alone, with no one to care whether I lived or died.
I saw his eyes softened as he took me in, but it only lasted a moment, as if he’d suddenly remembered all the lies I’d told him. “Head to the car. I’ll be right behind you. I just need to grab my things.”
I walked out into the brisk cold, where the snow was still falling, dusting the world in white. It all felt so quiet and peaceful, in direct contradiction to the turmoil that was raging inside me. Yet before long, Locke was tucking Bear safely away in the back of the SUV and we got on the road, not a word spoken between us.
Time after time, I tried to find my voice…tried to tell him yet again that I was sorry, but the words just stuck in my throat, refusing to make their way to my lips, knowing it wouldn’t make one bit of difference.
But things didn’t exactly go to plan. We’d only been on the road an hour when the snow started to grow heavy as we traveled through the mountain pass.
“Fuck. We might have to turn around and wait this storm out.” His brow furrowed over his blue eyes, pinned to the road, as his hands gripped the steering wheel, though I had no doubt the tension in him was because of me, rather than the bad driving conditions. “I hadn’t even thought to check the weather. Chances are good that this is only going to get worse the farther we go. We might need to turn around, since there’s a good chance they won’t plow these roads until after they’re done clearing the freeways.”
If we were forced to turn back, this would at least give me another chance to make things right between us, even if there was little chance I’d be successful. “I’m sure the roads will be clear by tomorrow. We can always try again then—and I promise to stay out of your way. I know you don’t want anything to do with me at the moment.”
He pulled over to the side of the road and threw the car in park, before turning in his seat to face me. “Do you fucking blame me? I went out of my way to help you, Em. But you didn’t need my help, did you? No…you were never in any danger. You were just out for revenge. And to hell with the truth—to hell with the fact that you fucked with my heart.”
Despair darkened my soul, extinguishing any light, any hope that may have taken hold there when I started to fall for Locke. He now hated me, and had every right to. And I was once again completely alone with not just my misery and desolation, but a shattered heart and lost love to go with it.
A hopelessness clung to my heart, leaving me to fight off the demons that wanted me to just walk into the fire and be consumed until there was nothing left of me.
Not that there was anyone left who’d care that I was gone.
“I’m sorry, Locke. I truly am. I won’t bother you again.” Tears burn my eyes, spilling over and running down my cheeks, my heart unable to endure anymore. And so I opened the car door and stepped out into a whirlwind of blowing snow, shutting the door on Locke as he called out to me.
All I could do now was hope that Mother Nature showed me some mercy and put me out of my misery, claiming me as her own.